The Black Hoof: A Mafia Story

by patridam

Jack The Scythe

For when that ol' croc chomps, with his teeth, mare,
Crimson clouds, each way they spread.
Clean up the scene, does ol' Jack, mare,
So he don't ever leave but a shred.

There's a dockyard down by the river, don't you know?
Where a cement bag, just a-sits standing by,
Waiting for a cobbler, dear.
Bet your bottom bit, ol' Jacky's that guy.

You hear 'bout Wild Fire? She ain't been seen, mare,
After takin' out all her long-earned bits.
And now Jack, he spends just a flyer,
Could it be that's our colt's, source a' cash?

- Clydesdale McPhatter

"Well, it looks like Luna is deliberately trying to make me mad. I could almost forgive her getting into drugs; sometimes getting the upper hoof trumps contracts and moral codes. But this.... this tantamount a declaration of war."

Once again, Spike sat with Celestia at a table in the Horseshoe Casino's restaurant - this time, however, Rarity was conspicuously absent from the conversation. Dash sat to his left, Twilight once again next to Celestia shuffling some paperwork.

"I'm a reasonable pony, but actions like Luna's deserve a swift response. For pony's sake; one of our associates is dead, and Rarity can't even stand up! The time is now. Dash, I'm sure of; but Spike, I need to know you can handle this."

"Uh, yeah, definitely. What is it exactly that we're handling?" asked Spike apprehensively.

"Luna stopped one of our deals. We're going to do the same," said Celestia flatly. "Twilight?"

"Our police contact has informed me that they have become aware..." started Twilight.

"Question. Who is this police contact?" asked Spike, interrupting.

"If you must know, my brother, Shining Armor, is a senior detective with the Los Relinchos Police Department; narcotics division. Now, may I continue without interruption?" said Twilight curtly.

"Sorry. Go ahead," said Spike.

"He has reason to believe that Luna has found another source to import narcotics after what happened with Flim. No probable cause to arrest anyone of course, but they believe that she is purchasing drugs through the local zebra gang. How they obtain the drugs, I have yet to ascertain, but I believe I know when and where a hoofoff will be taking place."

"Lemme guess, we're supposed to stop the deal, right?" said Dash.

"And destroy the drugs however you see fit," said Celestia.

"Preferably leaving no witnesses," chimed in Twilight.

"Got it. Now, you said you know where it's going down?" said Dash.

"Yes, indeed, it's going to happen at 2 PM in the multistory car pa......." Twilight trailed off as Fluttershy approached the table, looking rather distressed despite the cheeriness of her spring green cocktail dress.

"Miss Celestia? I hope I'm not interrupting anything?" said Fluttershy quietly when she reached the table. Spike noticed that her makeup was smeared such that it had been obvious she'd been crying.

Celestia plastered on a forced smile. "Not at all dear. What brings you to our ... little chat?"

"I..I.. Oh, I just don't know what to do. Miss Cadence cancelled my contract with the company; I only found out through a letter, and now she won't answer any of my calls!" spouted off Fluttershy, quite quickly.

"Hold on dear, slow down," said Celestia, growing genuinely concerned. "Are you saying Cadence dropped you from the record label?"

"Yes, and I have no idea why! Her secretary won't pick up anymore when I call her. I mean, I know I haven't been as popular as back..."

"Don't you worry Fluttershy, I'll speak with Cadence about it. It's obviously some sort of mistake," said Celestia, patting Fluttershy's mane.

"Oh, really? Thank you!" said Fluttershy, relieved. "I..I'm sorry about interrupting you all, I'll go now," she said as she backed up, bumping into one of the waiters.

"Ta-ta," said Celesta, smiling and waving. Her expression quickly grew grim as she turned back to the table. "It would appear that Luna has also gotten to Cadence. The record business is perhaps not one of our biggest incomes, but to see the mare I personally saw produced be dropped from the company is a snub not only to me, but to that innocent little pegasus. Twilight?"

"I'll contact Cadence and see if I can convince her to change her mind, but now that she and Shining have divorced I don't know how well it will work," said Twilight.

"Do whatever you deem necessary," said Celestia. "Now, back to the matter at hoof."

"Yes... where was I... ah, the meeting will be taking place at 2PM in the parking garage at the corner of Diligence and Trust streets.

"Okay, I know the place. C'mon Spike, we best drop and see AJ before we go."

"Applejack, I don't suppose I could have a couple clips this time? I ran out before," said Spike after she'd handed a Typey Gun to Dash.

"I'll tell you what, I'll do you one better." She pulled out a large pump action shotgun from under the table and laid it in front of Spike. "This here's a Shades Model 73. Eight shot, twelve gauge shotgun, ambihoftirous loading. And here's a box of 24 more rounds. Will that do?" asked Applejack.

"It's perfect," said Spike, picking it up and leaning into the stock.

"Now, don't go waving it around. I don't think it's going to fit in that jacket of yours, so you may want to keep it in the car unless you intend to use it," said Applejack. "Oh, I got something else here for you two, my little sister recommended em'. These here are some walkie-talkies. I guess they're for construction workers or something, but they should help you strategerize your movements."

The Platinum's porcelain-faced dashboard clock read 2:01 PM when Spike and Dash pulled into the parking garage. Dash got out and spoke briefly with the stallion at the booth near the garage's entrance; she came back and sat in the passenger seat.

"I told him we were late to the meeting. He said they were already up on the top floor. Drive real quiet up there," said Dash.

Spike let the car creep up the ramps connecting the garage's half-floors. There weren't many cars parked inside; it was a weekend after all, and the garage was mainly used by those who worked in Trust street office buildings. The Platinum was quiet enough that it couldn't be heard over the voice of Clydesdale McPhatter piped in through tinny speakers around the building. He stopped at the intermediate floor between the second and third level. He got out of the car, and peeked around the corner into the 3rd and top floor of the garage.

Three cars were visible corralled at the far end of the garage. Two zebras were leaning against the walls, looking somewhat bored. The center car, a champagne-colored Everfree sedan, had its trunk open and facing away from the wall. A well dressed zebra and a cream earth pony with red mane were huddled over the trunk, talking softly. The only other means of egress to the area was a staircase on the left side.

Spike pulled his head back and explained the situation to Dash. She thought for a moment.

"Okay kid, here's the plan. We're going to have to act quickly..."

Spike readied the shotgun in the passenger seat, waiting for Dash's signal over the walkie-talkie. His foot hovered over the Platinum's gas pedal, his left claw on the wheel, his right tightly gripping the cold steel of the Shades Model 73. The intercom squawked with Dash's voice.

"On three. One... two... three!"

He stomped the gas, the car pulling out into the open and filling the garage with echoes of engine roar. He then quickly slammed the brakes and ducked as the Platinum's side was presented in full view to the zebras and Luna's emissary. Their surprise dulled their reactions just enough. Before any of them had a chance to pull out their weapons, Dash popped out from her cover in the stairwell to their right; Typey gun in mouth, firing a volley of shots killing one of the zebra mooks and the red-maned mare. The body of the zebra slid down the wall she had been leaning against, leaving a streak of blood. Luna's mare simply collapsed, knocking her head on the Everfree's left tail fin.

Dash slid back into the cover of the stairwell's concrete wall, the two remaining Zebras having drawn pistols and taken cover behind the other cars. Meanwhile, Spike had exited the Platinum and was crouched behind its front.

Dash stuck the Typey gun out past cover and blind fired in the general direction of one of the zebras. When the clip ran out, the zebra took a chance and popped up from cover, firing a few rounds towards Dash. Spike saw an opportunity and fired twice at the zebra, buckshot spraying all around and knocking her down, her pistol flying from her mouth. She wasn't getting back up. The only one left was the well dressed Zebra mare who had previously been leaning into the open trunk. She was now crouched behind the front wheel of one of the other cars; neither Dash nor Spike were able to get a proper angle.

He thought he heard the sound of a lighter, and then he saw a bottle with a lit rag flying through the air towards him and the Platinum. He backpedaled as fast as he could away from the car. The bottle flew through the car's open passenger window and smashed as it hit the clear plastic hub of the steering wheel. A burst of heat knocked Spike off his feet, and when he got back up the interior of the Princess was engulfed in flame, the air already full of the stench of burning plastic and the requisite white smoke.

Spike suddenly felt quite unlike he had ever felt before... enraged. He walked forward, slowly and deliberately, past the husk of what had been his car, wading into the thick smoke filling the garage. He started firing in where he though the zebra mare had been; he could only see a vague silhouette of the car she had been covered behind. The tremendous boom of the shotgun echoed off the concrete walls, the menacing *chuck-chuck* of the pump action separating each shot. He got off seven shots, hearing several impact the metal of a car and one hitting the concrete wall behind it. He tried to fire once more, but the hollow click of the firing pin foretelling that he had run out of shots.

The smoke started to clear as the zebra emerged from behind the car, brandishing a large revolver aimed squarely at Spike's head.

"You have put up a good fight, but now it is time to say goodni-" the zebra's one-liner was interrupted by a shot to the head that sent her fedora flying and her body to the ground.

"Jesus kid, you would've died there!" said Dash, now visible as the ventilation system audibly struggled to clear the smoke.

"Sorry. I don't know what came over me," said Spike, honestly.

"Don't be like me, I let anger cloud my judgment and it usually puts me in bad positions," said Dash. Her expression softened, "I guess we're even now, huh?"

Spike smiled.

Now that the smoke was mostly clear, they surveyed the damage. The Platinum was a charred husk, one of the zebra's cars was riddled with buckshot, and the floor was pooling with four bodies' worth of blood. Dash leaned over the well-dressed zebra and detached something from her neck.

"Hey, look at this," said Dash, showing Spike an enormous golden chain necklace that read 'ZECORA' in the center. Spike couldn't help but chuckle. It was a small world. A small, violent world.

"You know, if Rarity were with us she'd say 'Stealing from dead ponies is tacky, Dash', or somethin' like that," said Dash, pausing. She looked down and mumbled, "I hope she gets better quick."

Spike stepped over the cream and red mare and looked into the Everfree's trunk. Its plaid cloth-lined interior was empty save for a spare tire. But it wasn't any ordinary spare tire. The rubber had been cut into, revealing that it was full of plastic baggies of white powder.

"What do you think it is?" asked Spike.

"C'mon kid, it's white powder. Isn't it obvious?" said Dash.

"You have know idea, do you?" said Spike, knowingly.

"Nope."

"Well... how do you want to get rid of it?" asked Spike as Dash continued to look around.

She picked up another bottle of alcohol with a rag sticking out, similar to the one that had lit the Platinum on fire, from the trunk. "This here's a Yak Cocktail, I think it should do the trick," said Dash.

Spike was less than enthused. "Well, lets at least take this car," he said, pointing to the red Puddinghead coupe that remained undamaged, "so we have a ride home."

Dash fished around for the key, finding it in the cream and red mare's pocket. "Wallet says she's.... Roseluck. Well her luck's run out; am I right?"

Spike rolled his eyes.

They started up the Puddinghead, Spike driving it up next to what had once been the Platinum. Dash got out, lit the Yak Cocktail, and tossed it right into the trunk of the Everfree. Then they drove away, the flames alighting the cars and the bodies, and once again filling the garage with smoke.

Spike drove down the ramps back onto the first floor, reaching the attendant's booth at the entrance of the garage.

"Stop here," said Dash.

Spike obliged, then Dash turned and spoke to the attendant through the passenger window.

"If anyone asks, we were never here," said Dash to the pale-faced attendant, who had apparently heard the shots.

The stallion nodded grimly.

"Right. So, who joined that meeting besides the four up there?"

"Nopony," squeaked out the attendant.

"Good," said Dash, giving him a big grin. "Spike, hit it."

...so no matter what you try to do, you just can't beat that Canterlot Chew! ... Welcome back fillies and gentlecolts to PBBL Las Pallas, the home of big band. This is your host, Octavia, with the news. In local news, three zebras and an earth pony mare were found dead in a parking garage today. The mare is a local security professional by the name of Roseluck. Two of the zebras remain unidentified, but one is believed to be a bar owner and entrepreneur by the name of Zecora. Senior Detective Armor, who is charged with the case, had this to say:

'Although identification will be difficult, thanks to the damage caused to the scene by two small fires, we in the Narcotics division think that this may have been a deal gone wrong, likely a violent escalation as a result of a disagreement between the zebras and pony involved.'

In national news, teenage colt Button Mash won the National Chess Championship yesterday, beating out three-time winner and adult stallion Chocolate Tail for the title. In politics, early discussions as to President Easyglider's successor have...

Comments

[Sir spikelicious]

I love this story so much. I just wish the chapters were longer.