• Published 17th Apr 2012
  • 852 Views, 22 Comments

Musings of a Bar Pianist - BrookwoodBronco



Audio logs of a stallion who plays piano in Berry Punch's local bar.

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Piano Colt

"It's nine o'clock on a Saturday, regular crowd shuffles in."

-------------

*CLICK*

“So… wait does it hear me? I hit the red dot…”

“Of course I know what the red dot means!”

“Waddya mean?! I can’t-”

“Oh… yeah the cassette is spinning. I’m going to start now…”

“Uhh… do you mind leaving? I don’t think I can do this with you watching…”

“Yeah I know. Thanks for the birthday present Berry, means a lot and all that.”

“No, I don’t wanna kiss on the cheek! I’m not six anymore! Get out of my room!”

“Yeah, I’ll mop the floor before bed. See ya later.”

*Ruffling of paper*

“Erm… Okay. Date. September ninetieth, Saturday, and the day after my sixteenth birthday! Today’s quote is ‘Be sure to eat a piece of… humble pie?’ Is this really a quote? I swear, Berry makes these up from the top of her head.”

*Crumpling sounds*

“Alright, well… ummm… Berry said it’s easier to talk to this thing if I think it’s a pony. So, Hi! My name is Staccato... and I play piano for Berry’s bar... Yeeaaahh... ”

“Uhh… I guess I’ll just give you a rundown of my life. I had trouble getting up this morning ‘cause last night was my crazy birthday party. Berry Punch had me go and buy some groceries, and when I came back everypony was in the bar. They were hiding behind tables and the bar, anything they could find. When I walked in the door everyone jumped out and yelled ‘Surprise!’”

“…I hate surprises. I ended up dropping all I bought and spilling it all over the floor. Everyone laughed, but I spent MY bits on some of the stuff! Like the hard candy I got from Sugarcube Corner. I was looking forward to that and it got all soggy with milk I dropped on it… Ah well, the night was awesome anyway. After the surprise, Berry shouted, ‘Drinks on me!’ and everyone cheered; especially the regulars. All sorts of booze was gettin’ passed around and ponies were downin’ them like it was the last drink they’d ever have. Pip and Rumble were there, but they weren’t drinking ‘cause they’re my age. They made the party bearable. Ya know, since the bar was getting trashed, and I knew I’d have to clean it.”

“Oh, and Ruby Pinch was there, and wow, did she look beautiful. She was wearing this flower on in her mane and… that was about it. But still, she looked mighty fine! I wonder if the guys will think it’s weird if I ask her out even though she’s a year younger than me… Awww, what am I talking about?! After last night, how could I ever think that…?”

*Pacing hoofsteps*

“A-anyway, after a few hours people started chanting, ‘Play a song! Play a song!’ and there was no way I could turn THAT down. I sat at my ol’ piano and played a light, jazzy tune. It was mostly improv, but everypony ate it up. Heads were bobbing and all the ponies started dancing and swinging to the beat. After I finished, everyone stamped the ground in applause. They were like, ‘How do you play without sheet music?’ and ‘That’s so cool how you make that up on the spot!’ Pip got up and said, ‘Pff, I can play that!’ but when he started, it sounded terrible since his hoof covered, like, four keys at once. He got booed off faster than you could say, ‘You suck!’ and me and Rumble were laughing so hard. He came up to me, looking at his hooves and said, ‘How do you play that thing with these hooves?’”

“I just shrugged, but really the trick is magic. I’m a unicorn after all, so I can use my horn to create pockets of air pressure under my hooves. The air is so tight that I can hit individual keys with them. My hooves don’t actually touch the piano, they just hover over the keys. Making the air pressure is the easy part; the hard part is knowing which keys to hit. I’ve been doing this for a while though, so you could say I’m a professional. I mean, my cutie mark is a staccato symbol, so it helps that playing jazzy and blues type music is my special talent. Anyway, there’s no way I’d tell them my secret. Makes it less impressive, ya know? Besides, all the real famous pianists are pegasi since they can control their feathers and play with precision. Maybe I’ll get famous for how I...”

*The pacing stops and there is a sigh*

“Nah, fame should be the last thing on my mind.”

“Where was I? Oh yeah, the party. So everyone was gettin’ tipsy, especially Berry. She can usually control herself when she’s working the bar, but when she’s at a party… I dunno, she just loses it. She was still drinking when ponies started to go home. Most of them were stumbling out and others needed help walking down the street! Pip and Rumble had already gone home, and I was stuck waking up passed-out ponies. I had to say, ‘Come on, you can’t sleep here tonight.’ Some of them would get up and stagger out the door, but there were always the few that were legitimately floored. I’d have to kick ‘um in the ribs to get them up and out of the door. It’s alright, they won't remember it anyway.”

“When I had gotten all the ponies out, it got really quiet. Quiet enough for me to hear a whisper behind the bar. It was Pinchy trying to get her mom awake. When I came over, Ruby Pinch let out the cutest squeak of surprise. She kept apologizing to me, saying, ‘I’m so sorry about my mom. She usually doesn’t get this drunk!’ I just laughed and said, ‘Well, it IS her bar. She can drink as much as she wants here.’ Pinchy didn’t laugh and gave me a stern look. ‘This is no laughing matter,’ she said, ‘She has a serious problem.’ I didn’t know what to do, ‘cause Ruby Pinch never scolded me, so I just muttered, ‘I can help you carry her home if you want.’ She nodded so I picked Berry up and followed her out the door.”

“Now, I would never say this to Berry’s face, but she weighs a ton! That mare is like a sack of bricks. Maybe it was all the wheat beer she had, but she really has got to cut down on the calories or somethin’. Anyway, she was passed out on my back while I walked with Pinchy. At that point, I really didn’t know what to say… since she kinda yelled at me in the bar. She’s acting like I don’t care about Berry or anything, but she’s wrong! Berry Punch is as much a mother to me as she is to her!”

“…Wow… I can’t believe I just said that… I mean, Berry… Berry raised me since I was six. A-and I spend way more time with her than Pinchy does! We’ve been working together at the bar forever! Ruby Pinch just… I bet she thinks I’m just as immature as her mom. When did she become so bossy? What happened to the happy-go-lucky Pinchy I grew up with…?”

“…”

“Whatever. Anyway, we didn’t say a word the whole time I was lugging her passed-out mother home. Luckily, Berry Punch woke up right when we got on their porch. She was like, ‘Stuccato… ur amazingk, ya know dat… I’m so glad you- we got dat bar. Da bar wouldn’t be half of wut it ish witout you.’ I smiled and nodded at her and said, ‘Thanks Berry.’”

“And then Ruby Pinch said, ‘What about me, Mom?’ I was putting Berry down, but I gave her a look like, ‘What kind of question is that?!’ Berry didn’t notice though, and she said, ‘You too Pinchy! You kids are da most wun-wundurful thingk that ever happent to me.’ She was laughing and tripping over herself trying to get into her house.”

“After Pinchy helped her mom through their door, I said, ‘Goodnight Pinchy.’ And you know what she did? Oh, she said ‘Goodnight,’ but her look… she gave me this sad look. Are you serious?! What could she possibly be sad about? Is she jealous of me? Does she think Berry Punch likes me more or something? Grrrrrrrah! I’m so pissed!”

“...Why am I so pissed? Why… why doesn’t Ruby Pinch like me?...”

“…”

“So… after that, I had a walk of shame back to the bar. It was my birthday, but somehow I felt like I was responsible for what happened at MY surprise party. I felt so bad; I had to get my mind off of what happened. It was already midnight, but I spent another two hours cleaning up the bar so it could be presentable for the day after. When I finally finished setting the tables back up and cleaning the floor, I noticed the present table. There weren’t very many, but I couldn’t believe I didn’t see it before. I got a scarf from Rarity and some chocolates from Pinkie Pie. Even though no one was around, the presents I got from all those older mares really made me embarrassed for some reason. Rumble and Pip pitched in and got me a fedora for me. They wrote a letter that said… uhh… something… hold on.”

*Hoofsteps followed by the sounds ruffling of paper*

“Uhh… ‘Hey there bro. We got you this hat so you could look like a boss while you play the piano. With this, you will have no trouble getting the ladies. Mares love classy guys in hats.’ Those guys are so awesome.”

*hoofsteps away and back again*

“Hmm… what else… I got some sheet music from Blues. Blues knows what I like ‘cause I go to his music store every Monday for a new song. Only takes me a couple days before I get it memorized… not that I’m bragging or anything! It takes a lot of practice! Erm… I also got this thing for my birthday… this recorder-box thingy. Berry said that it’s the newest invention to come out of Fillydelphia and it cost her a ton of bits. I won’t let her down, that’s why I’m using it now. I’ve already tried it out a little, so I know it works… this is the longest I’ve had it running. I really hope the cassette doesn’t run out before I’m done.”

“Better speed this up then. So after I opened up all my presents, I brought ‘um up to my room. I really have to give Berry Punch a lot of credit. She may have self-control issues, but she’s an altogether great pony. She gave me a home when I had none and a job doing something that I love. She is so kind; she gave me the spare room above the bar! It’s not for free though. In return, I gotta work for her without pay, though I can keep the tips I get from waiting tables and playin’ the piano.”

“Dang… I haven’t even begun to talk about today. Okay so, I woke up to the sound of Berry Punch banging on my door. She was yellin’ something about her hangover and how, ‘If I have to be up workin’, so do you!’ It took me a few minutes, but I finally rolled out of bed and stumbled downstairs. I can’t believe she made me work the day after my birthday… but what is she gonna do? She’s short staffed as it is.”

“So I walk downstairs and she immediately gets on to me about my messy hair. I try to explain that I was up late cleaning the bar, but before I can she dunks my head under the sink and rinses me off. After that, she throws a towel on my face and says, ‘When you’re done drying yourself off you can start setting the tables for the morning rush.’ Berry may be demanding, but she means well.”

“The morning rush refers to the ponies that come in for the coffee in the mornings. Although Berry’s bar is known for its juices and liquors, we usually have a cup o’ joe brewed for the ponies that need a kick before work. Though, Saturdays aren’t the busiest in the morning since most ponies have the day off for the weekend. We usually get weather ponies coming in to get their boost for the day.”

“I spend most mornings and afternoons waiting tables while Berry handles the orders and the bar. Since there are so many restaurants around Ponyville, our bar is simply a place to get a drink. Berry says that she just wants to keep things simple. ‘I want ponies to know what they’re going to expect when they come here,’ she told me once. That’s fine with me; saves me the trouble of doubling as a cook or something.”

“I’ve been waiting these tables for so long, I’ve memorized what ponies like at what times of the day. Like, Rainbow Dash likes her coffee black as night. She says the bitterness gets her ready to start the day. All I can say is you gotta be made of steel if you can drink Berry’s coffee black. Let’s see… Twilight comes in every now and again for some creamy coffee. When I get her order, I always try to draw a picture in her mug out of the cream. The pictures usually turn out crappy, but she always gives me a smile when she sees it. Then during the afternoon, Carrot Top comes in for her regular glass of carrot juice. She actually supplies us with the carrots we use for the juice, so Berry gives her a discount. Colgate comes in too, for a single shot of whiskey. She says it steadies her magic when she's working on teeth. How alcohol steadies magic is beyond me, but as long as she’s got the bits, we’ll keep the drinks comin’.”

“Ruby Pinch usually comes at lunchtime to eat with her mom and me, but today…well...”

“Anyway, the afternoon crawled by without anything spectacular happening. The fun starts when the night begins. Saturdays are super busy during the night because ponies love spendin’ a little of their week’s salary on a drink. Some come to drink, some come to forget their troubles, and some… heh… some come and just listen to me.”

“I usually start playing at nine o’clock on Saturdays, that is, after I talk to Hayseed. That geezer really knows how to tell a good story. I doubt any of them are true, but once he’s got a few rounds in him; he can convince ya of anything. Just today he told me that one year, his family was sooo hungry that he climbed all the way to Canterlot and demanded food from the princess herself! I asked him why he didn’t take the train and he said, ‘Dagnabit, we didn’t have fancy trains back in my day! The most we had was wooden horseshoes! Yeh, I hiked up that mountain in ‘um too, just to feed my family. Then I marched right back down with a bag full of cabbage!’ I just laughed as he ordered another drink. Even if that story isn't true, the journey from Canterlot to Ponyville is one of the worst ever. I can attest to that.”

“Once the clock strikes nine, though, it’s time to go to work. I downed my cider and headed over to the piano. It’s old and kinda out of tune, but it’s my baby and it still sings when I ask it. Before I start, I always look behind me to see the crowd. Everypony is always looking at me with eager eyes… but it doesn’t get me nervous. Don’t get me wrong, if I was playing on a stage in front of hundreds of ponies, I would definitely choke. But when I’m in the bar with ponies I see every week, I don’t mind their stares.”

“I usually play some bumpin’ blues or a rag piece on Saturdays. Whenever I do, I can hear the ponies behind me tap their hooves to the beat. Today I started with Maple Leaf Rag, which is always great background music for the bar. The best music is the music ponies can jam to without it stoppin’ their conversation, especially for a bar. Whenever I finish I piece, though, they all seem to notice and everypony applauds.”

“I dunno… sometimes I feel like that guy from the song ‘Piano Colt’ by Filly Jewel. That song is mostly right when it comes to bars: ponies go there to forget about life for a while. When you’re with your friends, sharin’ a drink, good times are bound to happen. Sure, we get the occasional bar fight or a mare decides to puke on the furniture, but not one pony has ever complained about the service. Nights are the best: Berry servin’ up the alcohol and me on the piano. It really is just a cozy place to relax…”

“I usually finish playing at closing time, which is eleven. After I get the drunks out the door, I help Berry with cleaning. Today was different though ‘cause when I got everyone out, Berry asked me if I had tried her birthday present. I shook my head and she handed me a piece of paper. Then she started blabberin’ about how I should use her present as like an audio diary or something. ‘I’ll give you a quote every time you use it!’ she said. Her smile was so bright, how could I say no? I DID tell her that it’s not a diary; it’s gonna be an audio LOG ‘cause diaries are for girls, and I ain’t no girl!”

“…Hmm… whelp, that’s about it. I’m really grateful for all the presents I got yester-”

*Shuffling*

“Hold on… there’s a tiny present inside the box the fedora came in… Heh, Pip must have hid it when I wasn’t looking.”

*Ripping sounds*

“Huh… it’s a gemstone… ‘came with a note too…”

*Ruffling of paper*

“It says, ‘Hi Staccato! Oh my gosh, it’s your birthday! You are so old now. Before you know it, you’re going to need a walker! Anyway, I hope you like my present. I know how you hate girly things, but this is a very special jewel. This pink ruby was the first one I found. It was also the day I got my cutie mark and knew that my special talent was finding gems.’”

“…”

“‘…It means a lot to me, so you had better take care of it! I thought this would be the best gift because you and mom get along so well. You two work together all the time, and I only see you when I have time off from my job. This is just a reminder that-’”

*Sniffling*

“‘T-This is just a reminder that I-I’m still here and not to forget about me. We have known each other for so long; it would break my heart if you guys did not care to see me anymore. Remember-’”

*More sniffling followed by a cough*

“‘Remember, you have a special place in my heart. After all… we are f-family. Love… love, Ruby Pinch.’”

“…”

“Well… Ahhh…. This… Uhhh… Aww SCREW IT! What time is it?! You know what; it doesn’t matter what time it is! I’ve got to apologize to Pinchy! It’s a stallion’s job to make things right, and this ain’t a bridge I’m about to burn!!”

*Fading gallops followed by a door slamming*

…...

…......

*CLICK*

Comments ( 22 )

Time Waits For No One - Black Label Society

An Elton John reimagining is something I haven't seen yet.

Wow, very nice beginning!
Kept humming Billy Joel's "Piano Man" the whole time
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=se9rfWucgeY

*Sees Description*
...
Thinks It's Nine O'Clock on a Saturday...
Starts Reading. I hope it's good!

463869 This song is awesome!

464254 Thanks man! Yeah, I'm hoping to apply a song to each of my chapters

464556 Hope you enjoyed it! :derpytongue2:

♪♫
And Mayor Mare is practicing politics
As Filthy Rich slowy gets stoned...
Yes, they're sharing cider they call loneliness!
But it's better than drinking alone

Sing us a song, you're the piano colt!
Sing us a song, tonight
Berry Punch's in the mood for a melody
And you got us feeling alright!
♫♪

Yeah, I don't know either. :derpytongue2:
I don't really write songs. Anyway, interesting read! Sort of laid back, and it leaves you feeling kind of close to the main character. First-person present tense is a tricky style, but you handle it rather nicely. :twilightsmile:

467365 Haha, that song is awesome, whatchu talkin' 'bout?! :pinkiehappy: Thanks again Dan!

i liked this a lot. hope to see more.

Out of "read later" and into favs. :pinkiehappy:
I'm not sure why, but I like these kinds of stories. Maybe it's the thought of drunk ponies cuz that'd be funny right? Maybe it's the thought of ponies chillin, relaxin and having a good time. Eh, whatever it is BB, I can't wait for more.

471371 Thanks dude! Yeah, it's real casual. Don't forget to gimme da thumbs up if you think it deserves it :derpytongue2:
469296 Thanks bro!

471388
:facehoof: :twilightsheepish: :facehoof: The problem has been rectified.

Good style man. I like my drinking with a calm tone and some piano :twilightsmile: (doesn't even drink) Point is great toning and immersion.

Awww nuuu why u cancel?! :applecry:

507403 Sorry man... I just lost it... I got discouraged.

507985 Aww damn, but it was such a cool concept!
You didn't have any notes of ideas of how to continue it?
Or at least re-write it somewhat to give it the closure of a one-shot :twilightsheepish:

508012 Oh, yeah it was gonna be way longer. I had it all planned... but then the EqD guys said it sucked hard nuts and I lost all motivation. :ajsleepy:

508016 Pffft, heck with them!
If anything, the concept is kick ass! (they probably don't appreciate Billy Joel music) :pinkiesick:

Like I said I would, you get a nice review to help you keep this going. If you haven't yet, please read my comment on your blog post "Rejections and Repercussions."

Okay, so I'm going to do this as I read, so it's going to follow a sort of "stream of consciousnesses" style. Also, it's going to be long as hell.:twilightblush:

The first thing I notice is formatting. When you have multiple paragraphs of dialogue, you don't need to put ending quotation marks until the final paragraph. However, if the whole story is going to follow this sort of "audio log" format, I don't think the quotations are necessary at all. That little bit at the beginning is enough to tell it is a character speaking, though it really just reads like a first-person story, so that's not even that important.
Also, I don't suggest keeping the starred *action descriptions.* So far, everything you describe between the asterisks like that can already be assumed by the pacing of the dialogue; it just makes it look like a youtube comment or something.


" 'Nah, fame should be the last thing on my mind.'"
Your indenting here is a little broken. Get rid of one tab, or better yet, press the "outdent all paragraphs" button and then the "indent all paragraphs" button to get the right indentation. If the indentation is to demonstrate a long pause, use an ellipsis (...)

“When I had gotten all the ponies out, it got really quiet. Quiet enough for me to hear a whisper behind the bar. It was Pinchy trying to get her mom awake. When I came over, Ruby Pinch let out the cutest squeak of surprise. She kept apologizing to me, saying, ‘I’m so sorry about my mom. She usually doesn’t get this drunk!’ I just laughed and said, ‘Well, it IS her bar. She can drink as much as she wants here.’ Pinchy didn’t laugh and gave me a stern look. ‘This is no laughing matter,’ she said, ‘She has a serious problem.’ I didn’t know what to do, ‘cause Ruby Pinch never scolded me, so I just muttered, ‘I can help you carry her home if you want.’ She nodded so I picked Berry up and followed her out the door.”
This is an excellent example of why the whole story does not need quotes. In a normal third person story, there would be a paragraph between each character's speaking. Even though it isn't technically wrong the way you did it, I would still break up the dialogue either way.

Also, Ruby's dialogue here is a little fake sounding. Not so much the context, as much as the fact that I've never heard anyone say "this is no laughing matter" in real life.

It took a few checks for me to understand that Berry Punch was Ruby Pinch's mother. You can tell this to the reader earlier, though my suggestion is to just to match their last names (i.e. Ruby Punch). I know the show doesn't follow this logic when it comes to names, but it's important your reader understands what's going on.

At that point, I really didn’t know what to say… since she kinda yelled at me in the bar. She’s acting like I don’t care about Berry or anything, but she’s wrong! Berry Punch is as much a mother to me as she is to her!”

“…Wow… I can’t believe I just said that… I mean, Berry… Berry raised me since I was six. A-and I spend way more time with her than Pinchy does! We’ve been working together at the bar forever! Ruby Pinch just… I bet she thinks I’m just as immature as her mom. When did she become so bossy? What happened to the happy-go-lucky Pinchy I grew up with…?”
Especially in contrast to the rest of the story, this is a sneaky example of "telling, not showing." I know what the narrator feels because of the way he's speaking, but I don't feel the same way myself. When someone unexpectedly raises their voice with me, I feel like shit, and I'm pretty sensitive to this stuff, so I know what I'm talking about here. I suggest drawing out how he feels about Ruby a little more, or giving the reader insight to her usual behavior earlier on, so her outburst seems more contrasting.

Also, I know this is where you are explaining the relationship of the narrator to the characters, and while it feels real, it's too late and just gets confusing. At least give us a vague notion of the ways the narrator is related to the main characters before this point, so your reader doesn't go back to figure out what they missed.

"Even though no one was around, the presents I got from all those older mares really made me embarrassed for some reason"
Nopony.

“Uhh… ‘Hey there bro. We got you this hat so you could look like a boss while you play the piano. With this, you will have no trouble getting the ladies. Mares love classy guys in hats.’ Those guys are so awesome.”
This is okay, but most people write differently than they speak (or else you wouldn't understand half of this review). I think this mostly works, but I don't think they would say "hey there bro" in writing. These seem like the types who would more likely write as little as possible, so if you just kept "Now you can look like a boss on the piano. Mares love guys in classy hats," I'd find that more believable. Admittedly, this is something that won't bother most readers.

"It’s old and kinda out of tune, but it’s my baby and it still sings when I ask it."
Love. This.:heart:

"‘cause diaries are for girls, and I ain’t no girl!"
His dialect here is different than the narration of the entire story. It may seem small, but it doesn't fit.

"and knew that my special talent was finding gems.’”
Try "and knew that my special talent was... finding... gems." When I read this, I could imagine his voice trailing off as he realized what he was reading, I think you should place that directly into the writing (I know you already kind of did).
Also with this whole little bit with Ruby's letter, you have to decide if it's going to read phoneticallly or not. I personally think it should be, the stuttering and pauses help strengthen the mood, but I don't think he would read the exclamation points as such (you rarely read excitement out loud).

Overall, I really liked it. This style is something I don't really go for, but it felt earnest; it felt real, and that made me want to keep reading.

You need to get rid of the *action descriptions,* they make the whole story look less professional. It would be better to just include third-person narration describing his actions; though I feel this story really leans towards a first-person narrator the whole way through.
Get rid of the quotation marks encompassing the whole story too: they mess with the formatting way too much. At the very least, put everything in italics, though I think this could stand as is. Either that, or change the formatting to that of a normal first-person story and just keep it in the quotes to separate the audio log from the character's thoughts (i.e. the descriptions of what he's doing).

Also, it needs to go somewhere sooner. I don't like saying this knowing how the chapter ends, but the reality is your reader (or more importantly, EQD's pre-readers) will not want to keep reading if there isn't a exactly a story. As great as your characters are, the reader is going to want to know why they're looking at this particular event.

Like I said, I really liked it; I sure hope you haven't used all of your strikes with EQD.

In fact, if you make the changes I put up here, I may be willing to help you push getting this featured there via group persuasion, regardless of whether or not you used up your strikes. My voice may not have much weight, but I'll do what I can!:twilightsmile:

528034 Thanks for all the tips! A lot of that stuff is true, and I need to work on that (Especially the *action script* thing) but some of it are style flaws. I just wrote it the way I talked... so it make come off weird, 'cause I talk weird. I'm goofy and all over the place. Of course, you don't know me, so that probably doesn't justify it. But it's fine.

I've decided to scrap this story. I've decided to write one shots, because I'm not very good at the commitment type deal with chapter stories. I will take your advice in future endeavors though. This was just an experiment, after all.

Thanks so much, and I plan on looking at your stuff as soon as I can. :ajsmug:

529563
Scrap it? This would bother me more, but I personally think the end was pretty good, so at least change the "cancelled" tag to complete.

Though, I think this seems like a good creative outlet, and you should keep going with it. I suggest, rather than pushing through a epic storyline, just continue this story in a casual manner. I imagine the style of writing is not particularly nitpicky, and probably even therapeutic, so just add a chapter here and there when ideas come to mind. The best thing about this story is you don't have to spend time articulating your thoughts, just write it as you go along and it should sound natural (though you should give it an edit afterwards).

Obviously, it's your story, so you should do what you want with it, but I can see that a lot of your readers want it to continue, and I know I would as well.

Edit: After I left my review, a thought occured to me. You shouldn't forget your friend the linked text, especially in a story about music; it can really help keep the reader "in tune" with the story.

529663 Haha, the link was one of the things the pre-readers didn't like about my story :derpytongue2: Alright. I'll just put a Hiatus tag on it and do what ya said :pinkiehappy: It was pretty fun to write.

467365
♪♫
It's nine o clock on a Saturday
Regular crowd's trotting in
And a stallion's sitting next to me
Making love to his cider and gin

He says, "Son can you play me a memory?
I'm not really sure how it goes
But it's sad and it's sweet
and I knew it complete
When I wore a younger colt's clothes"

Sing us a song, your'e the piano colt
Sing us a song tonight
'Cause we're all in the mood for a melody
And you got us feeling alright!

Donut Joe at the bar is a friend of mine
He gets me my drinks for free
And he's quick with a snack, and he's got your back
But there's some place that he'd rather be

He says, "Man I believe this is killing me!"
As the smile ran away from his face
"And I'm sure that I'd be big in Canterlot
If I could get out of this place"

Filthy Rich is a real estate mogul
Who never had time for a life
But he's still got his filly, who's never been silly
And probably never will in her life

And Sparkler's practicing politics
While a business man slowly get's stoned
And they're sharing a drink they call loneliness
But that's friendship in a way of it's own

Sing us a song, your'e the piano colt
Sing us a song tonight
'Cause we're all in the mood for a melody
And you got us feeling alright!

It's a pretty good crowd for a Saturday
As ol' Berry Punch gives me a smile
Cause' she knows that it's me
They've been coming to see
To forget about life for a while

And the piano sounds like a carnival
And the microphone smells kind of queer
And they sit at the bar, and put cake in my jar
And say, "Man, what are you doing here?"

Sing us a song, your'e the piano colt
Sing us a song tonight
'Cause we're all in the mood for a melody
And you got us feeling alright!
♫♪

Meh, just kind of felt like writing that. :twilightsmile:

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