I love the cover art and I enjoyed watching Anthea make everybody spit-take with her raunchy humor. I got to admit that I didn't expect that you would use references from "Feel like the First Time" though they did make the story funny when it was revealed-to the traumatized Starburst and Red June- with whom Pinkie and Twilight lost their virginities with. Anyhow, this chapter was great and I cant wait for the next one.
P.S: Instant favorite.

Great writing so far, though the way Annie introduced the subject was very jarring, especially since it came about so smoothly in the original.

Still, this is gonna be good!

4901416 Well, Anthea is known for saying very 'risque' things bluntly and out of the blue, so I figured it would work.

Hey now, looks like a dragon-pony hybrid in there! Sorry, I don't know these characters so I'm not sure if such a hybrid is part of the cast, but I do love me some hybrids.

4901462 Well, go check kilala out if you want to find out more about the kirin. The link is in the story as well as the description.

So are starfall and starburst married or are they still just dating its not clear and its kinda hinted at but either was good story bro

Also this is why annie is my 3rd next gen character behind starfall and starburst

4901471

Well now, I think I know what character. Hooray for kirin!

No way! I totally had to watch the video but I haven't meet anyone who's seen Kingdom Hearts Chronicles.

Also MORE! This story looks good.

4901644 Well, I hadn't seen it in a while, but it was funny.

4901305 Two quotes from a friend are definitely in order!

I think that people often hide behind the generally low expectation of behavior on the internet. Somehow, it’s become expected of people to troll to the point where it sometimes seems to be done out of a sense of obligation, as if the comment thread isn’t complete unless someone says something stupid.

Reality check, the ones that set the standard of behavior online is us, the people who use the internet. All it takes is enough people who says something is unacceptable and it becomes unacceptable. The fact that some people may be worse doesn’t excuse rude or hateful behavior

I see too many people take the cynical view and go “well, what do you expect from the internet”, or “well, surprise, surprise, the world sucks”, as if we should just expect people to behave badly and if you fail to prepare for it, it’s your fault for being naive as opposed to the fault of the people behaving badly in the first place.

My own view on the matter is that there’s a small amount of people who’ll misbehave no matter what, there’s a very small amount of people who’ll always do the right thing… and a huge amount of people who simply responds in kind.

If the general standard in a place is low, they’ll sink down to it, but if people are held to a higher standard, they’ll often be able to claw themselves up and be at least decent.

The problem is that it’s very psychologically satisfying to have a low standard. If the standard is high enough and you’re consistent with it, you’ll probably fail it just as often as anybody else, and that causes many uncomfortable moments of cognitive dissonance on your part.

It’s so much easier to simply have a low standard of behavior, watch people race to the bottom and then feel smugly superior that you’re not quite as bad as the lowest person on the totem pole.

Ultimately, what it comes down to is that we are all responsible for the environment we create. It’s easy to assign a scapegoat in the form of overt trolls or generally nasty people, rather than ask what allowed them to run wild in the first place.

(This isn’t a call to censorship mind you, I’m a big believer in the idea that the answer to bad speech is more speech, but that ideal comes with a responsibility to speak out when something is bothering you and call out behavior that you personally think are counterproductive.)

4901709 So...did you like the story so far?

Zabu: looks like you beat me to it but I was planning a threesome of CottonDelCréme as well. Other then that the ships match up.

4901840 Really? I would love to see that. Let me know if you need help.

4901875 If I get free time to write it.

This is unoriginal

4902475 I'm sorry? But what is unoriginal about it? I did say it was inspired by a story similar to this. If you stick around for the rest of the story, I am sure you will like it.

It has BurstFall in it

The Predaking approves

(As soon as I saw the title)
[youtube=www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkBe7VIvr8g]

...we should live it up and throw down!

Or rather, live it down and throw up, as the case may be, given the amount of alcohol being consumed.

Well, this will be certainly interesting

I loved how you brough in all those stories from "First Like The First TIme", especially that part about Twilight and Cheerilee

4902570

I haven't read the story yet, but it's never a good idea to tell people your fic will be better if they wait. Your story should draw people in immediately, or else you're only going to get comments from that sickening demographic of people who will upvote and praise anything as long as it's porn/human/whatever their perseveration is.

Just some marketing advice. =)

4902570 Not really. They all have original characters which is pretty ironic. I just think it strange you would write this.

4904512 I'm sorry. But honestly, 11 people disliked this and gave me no reason as to why. It's frustrating.

4904526

Well, it is a pretty unoriginal premise. That tends to draw downvotes from people who have been on the site long enough to see it in the feature box six or seven times already. It's also clop, which means there's a small group of people who will downvote it regardless of how good it is. There are a few people who just go around the site downvoting everything they come across. There are people who downvote almost everything because their standards are so high. Furthermore, it's an all-OC story, which is going to draw downvotes that have nothing to do with quality, unless you're, like, god-tier good at writing, or you appeal to some spergy demographic that will rave about how great your story is and draw tons and tons of upvotes (i.e. button mash)--which you shouldn't do, obviously, because it means selling out utterly and completely.

And that should explain pretty much all the downvotes.

4904537 I did say it was inspired by the story. That means there might be a bit of similarity at some points, but I intended that as a nod to the story. Did you at least like the story?

4904566

I did say it was inspired by the story. That means there might be a bit of similarity at some points, but I intended that as a nod to the story.

Okay I guess?

It's still unoriginal. There are several spinoffs of that story already, and more than that, there are also several stories with the mane 6's children combo thingy theme. Original is doing something people haven't seen before. However, you said it's just a tribute to the other one, so it's kind of expected that it's going to be fairly unoriginal. It's not inherently a bad story; it's just inherently unoriginal, and sometimes that's okay.

Did you at least like the story?

It's in my Read Later queue.

“Oh, wow…” Créme tittered, “That was…that was…”

“You said it, darling.” Claire smiled, “I hadn’t this much fun in ages.”

“Just like old times, huh?” Cotton smirked.

“You said it.” Starburst nodded,

“Guess we both had the same idea.” Starburst deadpanned.

“Hmph, I thought of it first.” Nidra cast an annoyed glare.

“Fireball Whiskey? I never heard of it.” Whirlwind admitted.

“Oh, it’s because this only comes on sale once or twice a year. Trust me, this baby packs a wallop.” Cotton chuckled.

“Well, thank you all very much for these gifts, guys…” Anthea smirked

“Oh…” Red June blushed, “Well, sure…if you don’t mind hearin’ everything.”

“Everything is pretty much what we want, dear.” Crystal Clarity smiled.

“But be sure to not skimp out on the juicy details. I am quite interested to know the stallion that ‘popped’ your cherry.” Nidra snickered.

Holy shit that dialogue tag abuse. You use "said", which is usually the correct way to tag shit, like 7 times in the entire story. Every single line of dialogue follows the same pattern. It reminds me of the one chapter of My Immortal:

“I’m so sorry.” he said in a shy voice.

“That’s all right. What’s your name?” I questioned.

“My name’s Harry Potter, although most people call me Vampire these days.” he grumbled.

“Why?” I exclaimed.

“Because I love the taste of human blood.” he giggled.

“Well, I am a vampire.” I confessed.

“Really?” he whimpered.

“Yeah.” I roared.

There seems to be a very good story here. Can't wait to see more of it.

4901739

Hue hue hue

I was gonna say something like a smartass, but you actually seem cool.

You have been spared, and I honestly mean that.

4905536 Hence the quotations I sent. Honestly, it's all very much self-explanatory. Take the advice if you will... or don't. It's up to you either way.

I think I'm going to like this story, very much.

4905571 Then, I suggest you read it again and let it brew inside your mind. Some things just take time. Don't think low of yourself; try.

4905705 I don't see how I could be one given that I'm trying to help you. But thanks, I guess...

LET THE BONERS BEGIN!

When can we expect another chapter?

4910973 I can't say for sure. It depends on how hard the next chapter would be for me to write.

Not a bad start for the story.
I wish I knew more about these characters do you know where I can find more stories on them?

4911633 Group: kilala97 Fan Works. You might have to click on 'See More Groups' to see it, but there, they have stories on different characters of kilalaverse. If that doesn't help, go click on Kilala's link in the story or in the description.

This is gonna be good, partly because of who got down with who, but I'm really interested in how it happened, like the circumstances that led to them doing it. Was it just lust, the heat of the moment? Or was it evidence that there was genuine attraction between the two partners? Maybe it's a combination of the previoius two. Or it could simply be when they stayed abstinent until they tied the knot and then connsummated the marriage, ending their virginities together..

And I bet that in the case of Nidra, either she's still a virgin, or she and Annie lost their virginity at the same time, to the same male---T. I can't wait to see that story.

I'm also looking to see how close Creme and Del really are...

Are starfall and starburst married or just dating answer me dammit....please

4936053 No. No they're not.

4937141 ok then ther just dsting thank you for answering my question

whether it be a day down at the lake, or hunting down a mischief-making, dark magic-wielding, and very theatrical (and handsome) trickster.

Hm... why does one of those sound familiar?

4961608 The day down at the lake was an accidental reference to that one story (though I think I got the idea from there), while the other is a reference to Starfall from When the Stars Align.

4963051 Well yeah, I wrote that story.

4964825 ...I did not realize that.