There's a Lesson to be Learned Here

Bon Bon really just needs to use the bathroom but, things just don't go her way.

If you do not want to read about somepony doing their business then please don't read.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 10 )

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Eventide Indigo

Eventide Indigo #1 · Aug 14th, 2014 · 1 · ·

...I... I mean, what? I mean... whaaaa....

Kovy

Kovy #2 · Aug 14th, 2014 · · ·

Like it MAKE MORE

Kovy

Kovy #3 · Aug 14th, 2014 · 1 · ·

Well I just read it ummmm is this anthro or human cuz I recall that female ponys don't were pants only high class and farmers not inbeetween

Yurah

Yurah #4 · Aug 15th, 2014 · · ·

4851164
normal, just wanted them to have clothes is all

Kovy

Kovy #5 · Aug 15th, 2014 · · ·

4851755 okie dokie lokie /
\ |

BloodSweatAndTea

BloodSweatAndTea #6 · Aug 15th, 2014 · · 2 ·

No offence, but the author's note make ms laugh more than the actual story.

Grazy Polomare

Grazy Polomare #7 · Aug 16th, 2014 · 1 · ·

4851755

Well certainly a valuable lesson for all of us doing the number 2. This was quite an interesting read for me, and certainly an enjoyable comedy. However, I did notice a few glaring additions that more or less distracted me from enjoying the story.

For one thing, we start off with ponies eating meat. Now you've provided an explanation as to why said ponies eat said meat, but I don't think it's necessary. Here's why:

-It's not the subject of the story and therefore catches people off-guard.

-It just feels out of place. Ponies don't eat meat, and the show seems to really stress this as well. I know it's fan fiction, but if it isn't necessary, don't change somepony's diet.

By the way, I applaud a fellow carnivore for any meat-related stories, but this just doesn't come off as a meat-story to me.

Another thing is the use of jeans and skirts. I know you answered this already, but I also think it only served to distract me from the story. Unless this is Bon Bon and Lyra from Equestria Girls, the only pony I expect to be pulling out a pair of trousers would be Lyra.

If it isn't the main idea in your comedy, don't use it. It'll distract the reader from understanding the main joke, or lesson, on poops and the dangers of pushing too hard.

Instead of trying to make these ponies appear human, try to make them more equine. They don't usually wear clothes, and they don't usually eat meat. It's not worth changing for the sake of a small story.

Anyhow, I found it enjoyable none the less.

Yurah

Yurah #8 · Aug 16th, 2014 · 1 · ·

4858470
noted

Iron Comet

Iron Comet #9 · Oct 4th, 2014 · · ·

Sort of goes both ways, they act anthro but Lyra bucks the door down. Plus they have a microwave. Funny read for all that and I always enjoy any story with Bon Bon.

Flighter