Many years ago, Celestia and Luna's mother sacrificed herself to seal away the powerful demon Idcarus by sealing him inside a mask built from the most dangerous of gems. For twenty thousand years, Equestria had been in safety from its blood lust but what happens when Idcarus finds a way out of its seal? Can the Elements of Harmony be enough to defeat this powerful demon?
There is alot, and I mean ALLOT, of murder in this story. Your favorite ponies may be brutually murdered so if you dont feel comfortable with that, dont read this.
Chapters (2)
Alot of brutal murders? Count me in!
Good... That was a scarey time."
CHANGE SCAREY TO SCARY.
455524 thats my most common mistake
I will change it when im on my computer
455547 *Engineer face* Alrighty then.
Icarus needed a little more build up, but otherwise okay. I've got a thing for Eldrich horrors, so I'm alright with Icarus, but I'm not really sure where you're going with this story. Is it supposed to be a war/gore fic or a monster fic? It's going to fast for me to tell.
But either way, be careful with what you do with Icarus. Eldrich monsters are always good, but you need to think ahead of time how you want it to act and think. You don't want it to be just another really strong monster, so try not to rely on cliches.
455804 im sorry but I dont understand
455839
Which part?
456266 eldritch or whatever
An eldrich monster, 456499, is somehting eerie and/or horrifying that tends to be outside the scope of 'normal.' It's something like Cthulhu or Slenderman if you want an example. Icarus is something that does not feel like it belongs in Equestria and something totally unlike past enemies the Mane6 have fought, so it is an eldrich monster.
Feel free to brose Wikipedia if you want more examples.
459169 Oh I get it now. Are you saying its a bad thing?
Of course not. Eldrich monsters provide a host of new threats and problems, which is something good when you want to induce tension. The problem comes about in execution. Whenever a big bad appears, it is easy to make it sound like just another enemy to be defeated. If there is nothing special or threatening about a monster, that monster becomes boring and defeating it is just routine.
This ties in when a monster kills someone in story. If you want to make the death impactful, you need to make your audience care about those who die. If no one is emotionally invested in a dead character, than the death is pointless. Why should people care about someone they don't know or care about? If you want to make a monster a threat, you need to tug on our emotions for the characters.