This story is a sequel to Sweet Hearts and Princesses
Desperate for love, a changeling queen does the unthinkable for her subjects. Can she survive deep behind enemy lines with her heart intact? Or will she fall victim to the affections of an old flame? Find out what really happened between Queen Chrysalis and Shining Armor. Pairings: Chrysalis/Shining Armor
Both stories posted today and with not that short, whats going ?xD
I had a major aneurysm once I realized what was going on.
Is that it? I just feel... Unsatisfied with this ending.
Really well written. Looking forward to the sequel.
Can't wait for the sequel!
I read this last chapter to this song:
My eyes shed copious amounts of liquid pride.
I hope you keep writing in this universe.
Will there be a sequel for this?
Not a terrible story to be sure. But it suffers from akward pacing and inconsistent characterization exacerbated by a lack development and unconventional if not downright silly scene breaks.
I wouldn't personally "like" it but will certainly make a cautious recommendation for Chrysilys lovers to read.
I hope the sequel gets written eventually, this was good.
I am... disappointed. I'm not even sure a squeal would satisfy me. The fact that the changeling race, even if it was created by a curse, had to be exterminated for things to end? This wasn't the story I was looking for and I'm sorry I spent my time hear.
There is an unmarked flashback here.
What is this saying, changelings need love to live but it ultimately drives the queen insane?
The first changeling was an alicorn or a pony an alicorn loved?
The whole section with Discord can't really be placed in the timeline with the show. Is it the beginning of season 2, cause that doesn't work since Discord was only free for about a day. But it can't be after he was reformed cause the changelings invaded by then. Unless, the timeline is all messed up in this universe.
Interesting way to phrase how other queens' are viewed. Does Chrysalis see her mother as herself now? Just a past life.
If you do write another story, you need to cut these down, it would be better just to use Cadance's name.
Is this Lyra Heartstrings? Cause it sure sounds like her from the color scheme.
I don't think Lyrica is really shortened to Lyra.
Poor Cadance, I always picture her as the happy but reluctant princess. She got something she wasn't quite looking for and now has to live a boring life.
Pegacorns look like alicorns but Chrysalis is a changeling queen. Changeling queens are alicorns.
Why was Cadance kissing Shining on the cheek. I am not really sure who was who and why this came up.
This part can confuse readers since we have only seen Cadance acting aloof toward Shining, there has been no fast at all.
Chrysalis keeps changing her name, from Harlequin Eyes to Candy Colored.
Except Chrysalis has already slept and, it is implied, had sex with Shining Armor in Sweet Hearts.
Is Twilight an alicorn yet, cause this has to happen sometime in Season 3 but before the return of the Crystal Empire. Somehow... the invasion could have changed but I am not so sure about the return of Nightmare Moon or the Crystal Empire.
In the last story, Sweet Hearts, you use "Cadence" and now you are using "Cadance".
I know they have had sex before as Chrystal Emerald but Shining just doesn't remember it. Though then Chrysalis had her rite of passage and now has the memories of generations of queens in her head. That could have changed her a bit.
Why the hell would Discord care? He doesn't seem the justice type, more likely to push someone over the edge than punish them for being crazy.
Chrysalis is using text talk now... oh goody.
What the hell have you done to Discord. I don't know him anymore.
Chrysalis is against invasion. You have really taken the Alternate Universe tag and ran with it.
That is a very fast relationship and wedding.
You still have an issue with dialog in a sentence I have noticed. Little errors are riddled through both of your stories.
There is confusion over this communication thing. Chrysalis seems to be able to communicate in some chapters and then in others she can't because of the distance. You really need to be more clear on the limitations here since it can make certain actions meaningless or pointlessly complex.
He did for about a year before he got his mind wiped.
I am surprised the fact that Shining lost a year of memory hasn't come up. Would Cadance be able to see that Chrysalis and Chrystal Emerald share a lot of traits?
Ok, if you make this bit happen like the episode, I will be disappointed. This whole time we have seen Chrysalis be able to fit in well, act sociably, AND know things Cadance knows. The happy dance clap and sudden change in attitude toward Twilight breaks everything that has led up to this. In Sweet Hearts, Chrystal would have liked to have gotten along with Twilight, she just antagonized her cause Twilight didn't much like Chrystal. But now Chrysalis is Cadance and she should be able to get along with Twilight.
And it is happening like the show, Chrysalis is shooting herself in the foot and fucking up. What really upsets me is that in the last couple chapters, the changelings were given abilities that could have easily made this a moot issue. Chrysalis doesn't want to invade, she has prepared and knows how Twilight and Cadance interacted years ago. Yet here she completely chokes with a pony she knows is close to Shining, she just went stupid.
What, when? In Sweet Hearts? Cause if I remember correctly, Shining was living with Chrystal and she only left cause he no longer remembered her.
Also, wouldn't this be the point that the other changelings are called off? They are also like 3 days again, which would not leave enough time for the hive to arrive.
I didn't want you to rewrite the episode at all. Chrysalis went dumb in this chapter and it feels like she did so only to force this AU to be like the show. But it isn't, Chrysalis, Twilight, and Shining have history; Discord is loose and "reformed"; and changelings have been given abilities that would thwart the problems that plagued the changelings in the show.
The cursed species wouldn't have had time to make it there. Also, would Discord now curse Cadance for murdering a bunch of changelings?
Discord curses one alicorn for killing one pony and bringing another back to life. But Cadance gets off scott free after helping commit genocide and marrying a stallion that isn't sure he loves the real Cadance. There is a little bit of a mismatch here.
How so? She fled her hive 10 years ago and got used to being on her own.
So Chrysalis is now free of the hive and the responsibility of ruling it as changelings do. However, how many changelings survived the expulsion from Canterlot? I assume not all of them came since others were dying in their home, so they could not be restored. Also, what did Elytra make wrong? It was Discord that made the curse. I feel this bit needs explaining since I am a bit confused over it. Yes, I am a little peeved over how the Canterlot Wedding was handled and how it seems to be just like the show. There are other inconsistencies I have pointed out which I feel need to be addressed before you move forward. Due to these, I am gonna have to withhold my favorite unlike what I did for your first story. I liked that one. This one felt lacking in that it tried to match the show too much. Chrysalis and Twilight still could have not gotten along or something else could have ended up ruining Chrysalis' plans, but I feel that making the last few chapters mirror the show did your story a disservice.
I can see another story after this being about have Shining finds out he never really loved the real Cadance and all his feelings are for the fake one. The pony that he loved when he was younger. There are also grammar mistakes as well that could use correction. I didn't want to go through and highlight every single one cause that would have taken far too much time; especially since it seems this story line is abandoned.
However, if you do with to continue, I would have happy to have ideas bounced off me. Just know that I can be a little harsh and sarcastic at times. I am easy to contact, either PM me or just respond to a comment.
Not too many comments huh? I've enjoyed the story so far and it's prequel was really good too as I just can't seem to find any good Shining x Chrysalis fics.
The effect of Cadence's love magic on the queen makes me wonder if there's something deeply wrong with Cadence mentally. As for who gets Shining I'm rooting for Chrysalis, even though foalnapping Cadenza was a little extreme, but I'm assuming that's just you trying to follow the show's canon.
Great chapter, but unless the chalice is hooked up to a chain that you wear around your neck it's not a talisman. Anyways it was a good read.
Intriguing. And yeah, Chryssie, you're so totally over your feelings for him. How's that river today? :B
Hmm, having access to the memories of countless past lives would certainly have its perks.
Cya
Raziel-chan
That got much darker, but I wonder if Chryssie will keep Cadance in the pod.
Cya
Raziel-chan
Hm, so in this AU Discord got reformed earlier, interesting. Kind of a relief, I was afraid he wad his old evil self at the beginning and was tricking Chryssie.
Cya
Raziel-chan
The closet of loooooooooove!
Cya
Raziel-chan
Oooooh, that was really interesting. I wonder what's the secret.
Cya
Raziel-chan
Go Chryssie go!
Cya
Raziel-chan
I can gel it, the next chapter is going to be full of feels.
Cya
Raziel-chan
Poor Cutelings, poor Odonata, poor Chryssie... I hope this doesn't mean the end of the Cutelings.
Cya
Raziel-chan
Well, it's good that this has a sequel. Interesting and well-written, but it also cuts out pretty much at the most interesting part. Feels more like the first half of a story than a full story.
i've read many stories where the Changelings invaded Canterlot because they were starving, but that "poisoned their love supply" is different.
i also remember a story where Discord turned the "flutterponies" into changelings because they helped Celestia find the Elements of Harmony.
and at least one story where changelings could be "cured" if they managed to earn true love...
but the most interesting origin story of the changelings was in a story called "the Celestia code"...
oh, that made me think of this fan-comic:
http://vavacung.deviantart.com/gallery/50707574/To-Love-God-To-Love-Mortal-Complete
Well here is hoping that Cadence gets knocked out of the love game, so that Chrysalis can step back in. I love Cadence, but in this story I hope her heart gets broken. Let ShinningXChrysalis live forever!
Really enjoyed this! Very different in tone from the first story, but it works
I do not know what the problem was about me, I've seen a lot more interesting, but I will continue to follow this story.
it seems only now the story of the beginning is becoming as interesting as the prequel
Well, the story in the ordenic was in my opinion stronger. And I can not believe that Chrysilys also sent a twilight to the cave, it was a stupid progress even when the twilight apologized and was ready to believe Chrysilys
All she had to do was own up to everything and change back to her crystal emerald disguise and she would have won without a fight
Discord seems to be acting as a counter to Chrysalis's consience.