Three weeks earlier, in the Cutie Mark Crusader Clubhouse
“Fellow Crusaders,” said Applebloom, “Ah called this meeting for a very important reason.” She frowned at the other two. “As long as this 'Tirek' has all the magic in Equestria, we can't get our cutie marks. And even worse, he's taken our big sisters. We've gotta do something.”
“Yeah!” cheered Scootaloo.
“But what?” asked Sweetie Belle. “What can we do?”
“We can find out where our sisters are being held.” said Applebloom, firmly. “We can find out where the keys are. We can let them out, and they'll save the world again.”
“Yeah!” agreed Scootaloo. “No stupid Tirek is gonna be able to defeat Rainbow Dash!”
Applebloom cleared her throat. “He, um, kinda already did.” she pointed out.
“Not if Dash is ready for him!” insisted Scootaloo.
“Didn't Tirek move into Celestia's castle?” asked Sweetie Belle.
“Yeah...” said Scootaloo.
“And doesn't he have the entire Royal Guard working for him?” continued Sweetie Belle.
“That's right.” nodded Applebloom. “And they're standing between us and our cutie marks!”
“So... how are we going to get into the castle?” asked Sweetie Belle.
“Well,” said Applebloom, “Ah was thinking, first we get that book on medieval weaponry out of the library. Then we put together a trebuchet, and -”
“You mean the same library that Tirek wrecked?” asked Sweetie Belle.
Applebloom stopped to think about this for a minute.
“Okay,” she said after a bit, “so first we go to the Canterlot library and look for a book on medieval weaponry. Then -”
“What if Tirek's burned that library too?” asked Sweetie Belle. “What if he's going around burning libraries?”
Applebloom considered this point. “Mah plan might need a bit of work.” she said, eventually.
“Why don't we ask somepony?” suggested Scootaloo. “Do you know anypony who might know how to build a trebuchet?”
“It's got to be somepony who'd tell us,” said Sweetie Belle, “instead of just telling us to go away.”
All three Crusaders frowned as they thought about this. Applebloom suddenly jumped up, bumping the lamp and turning it on.
“Zecora!” she said.
* * *
Zecora's house, fifteen minutes later
“Your plan is lacking important detail.” the zebra pointed out. “As it is, it will certainly fail.”
Applebloom glared at Zecora. “We've gotta do something.” she insisted. “An' this is the best idea we've had so far.”
“Trebuchets are hard to aim.” said Zecora. “How many ponies will your boulders maim?”
There was a long moment of silence.
“Ah... guess Ah didn't think of that.” said Applebloom. “But we still gotta do something.”
“When all the land's bereft of hope,” said Zecora, “ponies will just sit and mope. But if a light of hope is found, then ponies will start to rally round.”
“So... as long as we're visibly doing something, we'll inspire others to launch their own rescue efforts?” asked Sweetie Belle.
“But who's gonna listen to three little fillies?” asked Scootaloo. “We're not awesome like Dash.”
Zecora nodded. “For the greatest chaos to be sown,” she said, “your faces must remain unknown.”
“Oh! Like Gabby Gums!” squealed Sweetie Belle.
“I don't get it.” said Scootaloo.
“When we were Gabby Gums,” explained Sweetie Belle, “nopony knew it was us. Well, not at first. So everypony listened. So if we call ourselves something and nopony knows who we are, they'll think we're grownups and listen to us!”
“Ohhhhhh!” said Scootaloo.
“We can still call ourselves the Cutie Mark Crusaders.” said Applebloom. “Nopony outside of Ponyville knows who that is.”
“I think your chances would be best,” continued Zecora, “if you'd let me aid your quest.” She smiled, just slightly. “Tirek took magic from ponies alone; one of the things for which he'll atone. Since for those who know how to enchant...” Zecora waved a hoof at the shelf of potions on her wall.
“Magic remains in every Everfree plant.”
I was wondering what happened to her.
Hmm.. Okay, Tirek is the Emperor. Discord was Vader. Scoots is Han Solo, Sweetie Belle would probably be Luke, and Applebloom is Chewbacca. Zecora is Obi Wan or possibly an Obi Wan/Yoda fusion.
They also still have the Alicorn Amulet and the Inspiration Manifestation(possibly in the form of dragon poo) hanging around, along with all the other amazingly dangerous items that Equestrians just seem to stick in weird places. I'm sure the Castle of the Sisters is bulging with world destroying weaponry.
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Now I'm picturing a scene where Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle, in stolen Royal Guard armour, try to sneak in to rescue Princess
LeiaTwilight by pretending to take Applebloom prisoner.Aren't you a little short for a Stormtrooper?
This is... Promising at least, keep the good work (even though a bit too short), this could perfectly turn into a great story when it's finished
Nicely done. Though apparently Tirek even drained the Crusaders? Wow. That's low.
Still, between their incredible determination and Zecora exploiting loopholes, la resistance has a fighting chance.
(Though wouldn't Manehattan also know of the Crusaders? Babs has been active... though that may just mean another rebel cell waiting to happen.)
Looking forward to more.
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And Discord, who didn't know about Babs, has just told Tirek that the Cutie Mark Crusaders are "...based in Manehatten, I'm not sure exactly where."
Of course, Manehatten's a big city. Most Manehattenites probably haven't heard of the Cutie Mark Crusaders. What are the odds that the Royal Guard, in thoroughly searching Manehatten for any hint of the Crusaders, will just happen to run into Babs?
Good rhyming with Zecora.
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Thanks! I spent a long time with rhymezone getting that right...
-One point you might want to edit in something to cover is that when de-magicked, the ONLY ponies we see doing anything more than laying around without even the energy to stand up are the Mane 8 (which is never explained in the episode itself). So covering how that works might be good, because you have everypony moving around fairly normally, rather than like they are continually exhausted or something. Perhaps a tiny bit of Hope is the key to regaining motion?
-The above makes me realize that using a ROPE to restrain a DRAGON is kinda dumb. In the episode we never see him take magic from Spike I don't think, and even without magic his teeth might be pretty sharp (unless that is something that varies between dragons/with age and his are mostly only useful for CRUSHING gemstone, rather than CUTTING anything).
“When all the land's bereft of hope,” said Zecora, “ponies will just sit and mope. But if a light of hope is found, then ponies will start to rally round.”
-The summary implied the CMC weren't going to get any help and weren't going to realize they had inspired anyone until later. A sort of enraged monofocus that does not allow pause for thought... just grab whatever gear is near to hoof* and run off towards Canterlot. I think I like this better. When thing are sufficiently dark that the CMC pause to stop and change their plans before trying to carry them out, you know that things are serious.
*Can ponies still pick up things with their hooves? Or does that fall under "overthinking it"? Probably so on both counts.
“Oh! Like Gabby Gums!” squealed Sweetie Belle.
-I had forgotten about this being mentioned in the description (I left the tab open overnight), but that too could have been impulsive.
-Also, I find paragraph-based footnotes sometimes work in place of parentheses when you are trying to communicate two diverging paths of facts. Like if statement A naturally flows into B AND C, but B and C don't flow well into eachother, because they are each so long that A has sorta slipped out of the reader's mind by the time they finish them. This can happen in surprisingly few words I think.
-One thing the ending makes me wonder is can anypony still do alchemy? Because if Applebloom can still help out that might increase the initial production rate. Also, what do you have the shelf-life of potions being after brewing? Logically it makes a huge difference, but I am probably over-thinking again.
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-Luckily for me it temporarily slipped my mind that it is Leia who says that... resulting in the following:
-Applebloom, whose helmet covers half her body: "Uh... New Initiative! Tirac shrunk us for purposes of... uh... um... Stealth!"
-Guard(dumb or insufficiently brainwashed): "Carry on..."
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The way I see it is, removing a pony's cutie mark makes the pony a lot slower, weaker, and more easily tired (the same thing happens when Starlight Glimmer does it). Tirek's attack left ponies lying exhausted, but after at most a nap they'd be able to at least move around.
That... is an excellent point, yes. I'll admit, I hadn't thought of that.
That is truly a sign of serious trouble, yes.
Applejack has, on at least one occasion, been seen holding three sticks (with marshmallows on the end) in one hoof. So, canonically, yes, ponies can.
Yes. The magic's in the plants, not the ponies mixing them together. As for shelf life... long enough. At least a week.
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Re: Hoof hands
Yes, but that was while she had her magic. The question is not if they occasionally hold stuff in their hands in the show, but if, in your continuity, that ability survives the loss of magic.