Sweetie Belle Contracts Teleflu

Everyponys favourite filly contracts a weird magical disease

I like to thank:
McStuffins for proofreading
The red knight, sleepy panda and Pastelights for editing
Arya Stark for general advice
I am very grateful for their help

Chapters (2)

Comments ( 19 )

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Tailgate

Tailgate #1 · Aug 27th, 2014 · 1 · · chapter 1 ·

"This is clearly a magical disease, she will know more." Rarity says

Because Rarity is a doctor.

Regardless, Your story is littered with technical mistakes, too many for me to bother pointing out. I suggest checking out ezn's guide to fanfiction.

blaid23

blaid23 #2 · Aug 27th, 2014 · 1 · · chapter 1 ·

LOL!

Mr Good Guy

Mr Good Guy #3 · Aug 27th, 2014 · 1 · · chapter 1 ·

Telecough? Don't you mean Teleflu? Besides, she's sneezing, not coughing...

PegaSeraph

PegaSeraph #4 · Aug 27th, 2014 · · · chapter 1 ·

4914938 oops fixed

Brucey

Brucey #5 · Aug 27th, 2014 · 1 · · chapter 1 ·

Every word in your tilte should be capitalized:
Sweetie Belle Contracts Teleflu

Also the description isn't grammatically correct either:
Everyponys favorite filly contracts a weird magical disease.

Now have a nice day

i_am_the_jam

i_am_the_jam #6 · Aug 27th, 2014 · 1 · · chapter 1 ·

Ugh...PLEASE get yourself an editor.

Kifstopher

Kifstopher #7 · Aug 28th, 2014 · 1 · · chapter 1 ·

Considering your description states that you're a Dutch carpenter, I'm gonna go out on a limb here and guess that English isn't your first language. That's fine, though!

I do recommend getting another editor, however, preferably one with a better grasp of the English language. Aside from the multitude of grammatical errors, you have a nice concept so far.

PegaSeraph