Well, This one certainly has taken my attention! Fav and Thumbs up. I cannot say that this is a perfect masterpiece, but its damn well enterntaining and cutesy enough for me to want more!
4779678 I would like to, Though In my Current (Sleep deprived) state, I dont think my critique would be the most insightful However let me do my best:
While I find the story interesting, Very good even (Already faved it after all), I sort of feel like maybe things go by a tad bit too fast. Maybe I am being too stubborn, or maybe I have missed things due to my state, but I occationally felt like the action just went "AND DAYS PAsSED!" and sometimes characters feel a bit like they had been simply thrown in there. Dont get me wrong, now that I have gotten to the end, i feel like ponies like Rising Star truly is part of the story, because now he has done something. However, at first I almost forgot that Rising star Existed because I mentally had named him "Plot device to start the story".
So, Well, I guess what I am trying to say is that, I am being incredibly nitpicky, and am most likely wrong. So feel free to ignore this entire section... I will try and remember to check up on this entirely again when I have had some more sleep.
4779752 Nothing is ever really perfect, and I love constructive feedback <3 I'll make it a point to slow down a bit now, as we are getting to the point where their falstarted relationship will begin proper
Expect much more sexy times (with a bit of magic maybe )
4780021 Oh Dont be so shy, We´ve just me-.... Wait a minute, *Flashbacks of story* Uhm.... *Awkward Silence* ... So... do you cum here often?.... COME!
And I am glad you are! You really seem like an awesome writer, and I really look forwards to seeing your continued work. I might end up nitpicking it to death, but so far, even with nitpicks, the large * of: "Its still great." Hangs over the story
I really like this fic I thought it was just going to be a quick one shot but thats not the case in the first 3 chapters i found my self getting attached to the characters and now i check here every day to see if a new chapter comes out to see what happens next. Your are a really good writer and i can not wait to see more of this story and your other work.
4789665 Aww, thanks It WAS supposed to be a one shot, but like with all my stories, they just kind of grow on their own. I'll be actually putting out a chapter today or tommorow, since the heat is a bit less now and I can unstick my butt from the chair with greater ease now
4779278
One night stands usually happen quite fast xP
4779372
I'm happy to hear that
Well, This one certainly has taken my attention! Fav and Thumbs up. I cannot say that this is a perfect masterpiece, but its damn well enterntaining and cutesy enough for me to want more!
4779358
Touché. You´re right
4779648
Care to offer what you found wrong with it? I do enjoy correcting any mistakes or improving my style
4779678
I would like to, Though In my Current (Sleep deprived) state, I dont think my critique would be the most insightful
However let me do my best:
While I find the story interesting, Very good even (Already faved it after all), I sort of feel like maybe things go by a tad bit too fast. Maybe I am being too stubborn, or maybe I have missed things due to my state, but I occationally felt like the action just went "AND DAYS PAsSED!" and sometimes characters feel a bit like they had been simply thrown in there. Dont get me wrong, now that I have gotten to the end, i feel like ponies like Rising Star truly is part of the story, because now he has done something. However, at first I almost forgot that Rising star Existed because I mentally had named him "Plot device to start the story".
So, Well, I guess what I am trying to say is that, I am being incredibly nitpicky, and am most likely wrong. So feel free to ignore this entire section...
I will try and remember to check up on this entirely again when I have had some more sleep.
4779752
Nothing is ever really perfect, and I love constructive feedback <3 I'll make it a point to slow down a bit now, as we are getting to the point where their falstarted relationship will begin proper
Expect much more sexy times (with a bit of magic maybe )
4779854
Ooooouu You Saucy Minx
All polite and then gives promise of more sexy time!
Are you comming on to me?
In all seriousness, I am going to look forward to it. Both from a fun persepctive, and to see how the story unfolds
4779920
I-I, you know, I don't, heh B-But I barelly even k-know you~
I always try and be respectful and friendly, especially to readers who are kind enough to help me improve
4780021
Oh Dont be so shy, We´ve just me-.... Wait a minute, *Flashbacks of story*
Uhm.... *Awkward Silence* ... So... do you cum here often?.... COME!
And I am glad you are! You really seem like an awesome writer, and I really look forwards to seeing your continued work. I might end up nitpicking it to death, but so far, even with nitpicks, the large * of: "Its still great." Hangs over the story
You don't know how cute that scene was x_x
Why is this not a movie xP
Great work ^_^
I look forward to more : 3
Also, why come onto Skrive and not me D:
Im so offended by this.
I really like this fic I thought it was just going to be a quick one shot but thats not the case in the first 3 chapters i found my self getting attached to the characters and now i check here every day to see if a new chapter comes out to see what happens next. Your are a really good writer and i can not wait to see more of this story and your other work.
4789665
Aww, thanks It WAS supposed to be a one shot, but like with all my stories, they just kind of grow on their own. I'll be actually putting out a chapter today or tommorow, since the heat is a bit less now and I can unstick my butt from the chair with greater ease now
Winter really should get those anger issues checked out...