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McSqueakers

Joined October 2011
245 followers

Stories (1)

  • Lost Time
    Twilight and Rarity are sent 15 years into the future.

    82,368 words · 21,412 views · 937 likes · 30 dislikes

Blog Posts (13)


When Rarity is given an order for a dress, a series of unfortunate circumstances lead her to request the aid of Twilight Sparkle. When she discovers that Twilight has been studying time spells, she asks if she can help her recover some of her time. Reluctantly, Twilight agrees, but when she is performing her spell, something breaks her concentration causing the spell to become unstable, sending them 15 years into the future. What awaits them in a world where they have been missing for so long? Will they ever get back to their own time? Only time will tell.

*WARNING*

COMMENTS CONTAIN SPOILERS

(I LOVE feedback)

Art by Dreatos

- http://dreatos.deviantart.com/gallery/?offset=24#/d47n304

Seriously, check out his work. He is one of my favorite pony artists.

First Published
1st Nov 2011
Last Modified
18th Sep 2012

Comments ( 579 )

#1 · Chapter 3 · 143w, 1d ago · · ·

Damn...

Holy shit that was good.

#2 · Chapter 2 · 143w, 1d ago · · ·

"The Princess is dead, Jim." :pinkiecrazy:

#3 · Chapter 3 · 143w, 1d ago · · ·

Wow, I knew Pinkie Pie was a bit crazy, but I didn't expect anything like this. :pinkiecrazy:

Please do keep up the good work upon such a great entertaining storyline. :twilightsmile:

#4 · Chapter 3 · 143w, 1d ago · 1 · ·

Me gusta d^_^b

Ladies and gentlemen, Pinkamena Diane Pie's mind never even entered the building. :pinkiecrazy:

#5 · Chapter 3 · 143w, 1d ago · · ·

>>20646

Thank you very much

>>20713

I don't get this reference.

>>20720

Thanks! Chapter 3 should be finished within the next day or two

>>20725

Lol

#6 · Chapter 1 · 143w, 1d ago · · ·

Great job! I my self did not see any mistakes.  Sounds like this should be good.

#7 · Chapter 3 · 143w, 1d ago · · ·

>>20731

Hey websterwall! How is it going!

#8 · Chapter 3 · 143w, 1d ago · · ·

Great thank you. This is some of the best fan fic I have ever read.

#9 · Chapter 3 · 143w, 1d ago · · ·

>>20745

Wow seriously? You aren't just saying that cause we are friends right?

#10 · Chapter 3 · 143w, 1d ago · · ·

>>20728

The refrence is from the original star trek.

Leonard "Bones" McCoy often said it to Cpt. Kirk when someone died.

#11 · Chapter 3 · 143w, 1d ago · · ·

I'm starting to think that "Twilight screws up a spell" needs to be it's own genre now. I'm looking forward to see how this all turns out and seeing if 15 years worth of possible questions get tied up. Biggest question probably being: How in the world did Celestia die?

Pinkamena showing up actually was something I expected considering how something so little as what happened in Party of One triggered the change in her. Although I wasn't expecting her to be so far gone but then again it is a time frame of 15 years to deal with instead of the matter of hours like before.

#12 · Chapter 2 · 143w, 1d ago · · ·

The ending caught me off guard, then again......the story would have ended there with Celestia using her magic to bring the 2 back to their own time.

And Sweetie Belle acting like a punk? That's a bit too much. Would have been more logical if she just ran away without any arson involved to make her character more realistic.

I'll keep an eye on this fanfic.

#13 · Chapter 3 · 143w, 1d ago · · ·

>>20821

There's more to it that what Spike knows. Remember, there's always two sides to a story. *wink*

#14 · Chapter 4 · 143w, 7h ago · · ·

Me gusta :pinkiehappy:

want moar!

#15 · Chapter 4 · 143w, 5h ago · · ·

Great update. Although I am kind of surprised with how Harsh Rainbow Dash is in this tale. I mean I understand she finally acheived her dream of being in the Wonderbolts and all, but... :fluttershysad:

Also interesting situation that Sweetie-belle's in and I do wonder if Twilight and Rarity can clear her name.

Also I do wonder upon whether or not Rarity and Twilight can make it back into the present to avoid all of this.

Please do keep up the good work upon such a great tale.

#16 · Chapter 4 · 143w, 3h ago · · ·

>>21533

RD is a complex character even though she doesn't show it on the surface. The type of pride that she has is a terrible leadership quality, but loyalty is a great one. Right now, RD is in the middle of a loyalty conflict between her friends and the Wonderbolts. On one hoof, she could help her friends but then probably lose her position with the Wonderbolts, but on the other if she doesn't help her friends, they run the risk of never finding what they are looking for. She was acted a little harsh because deep down, she felt that if she distanced herself, they wouldn't rely on her as much, and then she could go back to the Wonderbolts without conflict.

But that's just my take on it.

I'm still experimenting with her character.

#17 · Chapter 4 · 143w, 3h ago · · ·

>>21533

Also, thank you. I'm having a lot of fun writing this.

#18 · Chapter 4 · 143w, 10m ago · · ·

I'm curious now what really happened to Sweetie Belle since she claims to be innocent for the arson and whatnot. She mentions another pony but not by name which seems to be a little odd. I have to admit it's nice to see that Twilight isn't the only pony who can have trouble with spells. Rarity is probably in for a bit of trouble just trying to get to Cloudsdale let alone trying to meet up with Scootaloo without getting her into trouble. Hopefully Fluttershy will be helpful in managing that.

Hopefully we can get back to Pinkamena and find out a little more on what exactly happened there.

15 years is a lot of time and so much can happen in that time frame...

#19 · Chapter 4 · 142w, 6d ago · · ·

I like where you are going with this story!

#20 · Chapter 3 · 142w, 3d ago · · ·

:pinkiecrazy:pinkamenia? you think this is bad or creepy or something? HA! one word my friends....cupcakes...there i said it

#21 · Chapter 4 · 142w, 3d ago · · ·

>>23858

Psh. Cupcakes is so 'last year.' Fimflamfilosophy's reading of it made it funny

#22 · Chapter 4 · 142w, 3d ago · · ·

>>23884

Thank you for your honesty. I will definitely try my best to make it flow better.

#23 · Chapter 1 · 142w, 3d ago · · ·

wow im liking this

#24 · Chapter 4 · 142w, 3d ago · · ·

Good story you've got here, I'm not really one for fan fiction, but you've managed to snag me. Reminds me of Deus Ex Human Revolution a bit with the atmosphere, Pinkamena bit reminded me of the film Misery. I'm interested to see where this goes, the meeting with Luna, how exactly the world is surviving in a constant state of deep winter and moonlight.

That said, the whole thing with Sweetie Bell seems a bit of a tangent. I know it's probably leading up to a big revelation about sisterhood and all that, but when she showed up, I really just skimmed the part where she was involved. It doesn't read well, the dialogue needs tweaking to make it less wooden, and maybe after the story is finished (because if there is one thing I have learned as a author it is to not get bogged down with details in the first draft because otherwise the story will never get completed) you can go back and make her part in the future Equestria seem more important alongside finding out all the other mysteries.

All in all, good read. I'll keep an eye out for updates on EQD.

#25 · Chapter 2 · 142w, 3d ago · · ·

hejwhasdfiuashfiqwdhsdflksfkda'

SUPER PONY MIND FUCK!!!!1:pinkiegasp::pinkiegasp::pinkiegasp::pinkiecrazy:

YES THERE IS A FUCKING PROBLEM!:trollestia:

#26 · Chapter 3 · 142w, 3d ago · · ·

woooo hold your horses there twi

bitch move

rares mom has been dead for how long???????

not cool bro *goes to finish reading chapter*

#27 · Chapter 4 · 142w, 3d ago · · ·

>>23902

Are you alright?

#28 · Chapter 3 · 142w, 3d ago · · ·

btw i believe the reference was the story "CUPCAKES"

DO NOT READ IT

#29 · Chapter 4 · 142w, 3d ago · · ·

>>23923

I have. It didn't bother me much. I'm NOT referencing Cupcakes though.

#30 · Chapter 4 · 142w, 3d ago · · ·

I'm liking this so far, and eagerly awaiting the Luna chapter. When will the next one be up?

#31 · Chapter 4 · 142w, 3d ago · · ·

>>23926

When it's done. Lol. I have a particularly busy schedule but I do make time for this. I'll try and devote as much time as I can to this.

#32 · Chapter 4 · 142w, 3d ago · · ·

Pretty interesting so far. Time travelling always offers a lot of potential.

#33 · Chapter 4 · 142w, 3d ago · · ·

Great job. this is def a great fanfic

so far i like where everything is going

soo... if im getting this right belle pulled a bank job?

nice.

#34 · Chapter 4 · 142w, 3d ago · · ·

but i do have one question

THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE?:trixieshiftright:

#35 · Chapter 1 · 142w, 3d ago · · ·

Damiit rainbow why did you have to pull a sonictrollboom

#36 · Chapter 4 · 142w, 3d ago · · ·

>>23950 More like tried to, and failed miserably. Anyways thanks! I'm glad you like it.

>>23951 She is pulling the strings. Just kidding. I don't really plan for her to be in it. Her presence wouldn't and anything to the story other than a distraction. Sorry.

#37 · Chapter 4 · 142w, 3d ago · · ·

This is Excellent! More please!

#38 · Chapter 4 · 142w, 3d ago · · ·

Thank you for that story, i don't usualy read sad fanfics, this one is my first ever (also, i'm french, sorry for my grammar) I only wonder.

-How celestia died?

-I feel like something terrible happened to sweetie belle, i mean, the responsible is probably that mare from the mayor office, who claimed to know her.

-Something happened to Spike to, but i can't guess what...

Keep up the good work.

#39 · Chapter 4 · 142w, 3d ago · · ·

I liked everything you wrote except for the Spike/Sweetie Belle exchange.  It seemed rushed and stilted.

#40 · Chapter 1 · 142w, 3d ago · · ·

You've got a good start to a story.  You've got the characters down well, and I appreciate the relationships between Rarity and Sweetie Belle.

I have only one immediate question from my current place of ignorance: Are all of the early scenes necessary?  I sincerely hope that the answer is yes -- that they'll show up again later in the story.

Thank you for writing!

:raritywink:

#41 · Chapter 4 · 142w, 3d ago · · ·

>>24088

Absolutely. *wink*

#42 · Chapter 2 · 142w, 3d ago · · ·

You're a wonderful writer for details, and for the characters.  And you're excellent at cliffhangers.

I love the subtle touches -- the cold winter explained at the very end.

#43 · Chapter 3 · 142w, 3d ago · · ·

I realy can see pinkie like this after having 2 of her best friends dicepear for 15 years.

#44 · Chapter 3 · 142w, 3d ago · · ·

It's an enjoyable -- but very sad! -- story.  I appreciate the changes that you've made to the main characters.

#45 · Chapter 4 · 142w, 3d ago · · ·

*smile*  The story has picked up with this chapter.  It's wonderful.  

Thank you for writing it so far; I look forward to reading the rest of it!

#46 · Chapter 1 · 142w, 3d ago · · ·

A Sad tag? Ohhhhhhhhh BUCK... Trevor does not foresee this ending well... *Swalows hard* Well, one has already begun the story... INTO THE FRAY!

~ Magical Trevor, Minstrel of Equestria

#47 · Chapter 2 · 142w, 3d ago · · ·

>>20713 XD HAY! You stole my line! XD That's EXACTLY what Trevor was thinking! XD

Anyhoof... Yeah, kinda wondered, but... Can Luna not raise the sun? Or if so, can she just not get it close enough or something? Hrmm... Well, only one way to find out... WORDS! PREPARE YOURSELF! ONWARD, TO GLORIOUS BATTLE, WITH NO REGRETS! (Too late)

~ Magical Trevor, Minstrel of Equestria

#48 · Chapter 2 · 142w, 3d ago · · ·

...sorry twi your clestia is in another castle

#49 · Chapter 4 · 142w, 3d ago · · ·

... Okie Doki Loki then! Trevor has made his decision! He shall continue to read this fic as it updates! There aren't enough time-fics out there, so one shall continue to read!

~ Magical Trevor, Minstrel of Equestria

#50 · Chapter 4 · 142w, 3d ago · · ·

>>23869 to you mate others still find it somewhat scary...i think dash deserved to die to be honest

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