[Chapter 3] Searching
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“Well, I had better start walking.” Twilight said sarcastically. There was no royal escort knocking at her door. No instructions on how to get to Canterlot through the snow. Luna’s letter had no sense of urgency, no personal touches to show that she cared. Twilight’s disgust was immeasurable. Luna was no Princess Celestia.
“What’s bothering you sugarcube?” Applejack asked, noticing Twilight’s tone of voice.
“It’s nothing, I’m fine…” Twilight said through clenched teeth.
“Well I can tell that somethin’ is bothering you, but if you don’t wanna talk about it, I won’t make you.”
“I’m sorry AJ,” Twilight said, her tone shifting suddenly. “It’s just that Luna’s letter is so… formal. I’m just so used to Princess Celestia’s friendly writing.” Twilight couldn’t hold her tears back. “I know I shouldn’t feel this way, but I wish Princess Celestia was here instead of Luna.”
“Hey, sugarcube, I know you ain’t used to it, but Princess Luna has been doin’ the best she can.” Applejack had seen how difficult Princess Luna’s job had become after Princess Celestia’s death during an agriculture meeting. “I’m sure she’ll be much nicer when you go see her. Besides, you ain’t gotta walk to Canterlot anymore. Just take the monorail.”
“The mono-what?”
“Monorail. It’s like a train, but on stilts. They built it over the ol’ train station ever since the blizzard started,” Applejack explained. “See the old trains couldn’t plow through the snow, so they put the tracks up on big concrete pillars.”
“That sounds dangerous,” Twilight said in disbelief.
“That’s what I thought at first, but they’ve been runnin’ daily for a few years now and they ain’t never had an accident. I can take you to go see them if you’d like.”
“That sounds good. We should probably get moving soon anyway. The letter said to get there as soon as possible,” Twilight said impatiently. “I don’t think I should keep the Princess waiting. Besides, I’m really anxious to know what Princess Celestia had to tell me.”
Applejack nodded as she reached for her coat. As they walked to the door, Applejack called up to their friends to let them know they were leaving. Rarity, Fluttershy, and Spike all came out to see their friends off.
“Where are you all heading off to?” Rarity asked.
“I’m going to have a word with Princess Luna. She just sent me a letter a few minutes ago. Apparently she knew of my return and now she has a message for me from Princess Celestia,” Twilight explained.
“Oh my. Should I accompany you as well? I mean, we were both missing, were we not?”
“No, I don’t think that will be necessary.” Twilight said nonchalantly. “The letter said that Princess Celestia left a message for me and I’m not sure of how sensitive the content is.”
Rarity let out a “hmpf” as she slumped against the door frame, arms crossed in disappointment.
“I’m sorry, Rarity, but I feel that I need to do this alone” Twilight said, trying to comfort her friend. “Besides, while you’re here, you should ask around town and see if anypony knows what happened to your sister.”
Rarity couldn’t argue that. She had really hoped that the Princess would know some information, but given the circumstances, she could probably find out more in Ponyville. “Alright, Twilight,” Rarity sighed out. “I know how important the Princess was to you, so I’ll give you your privacy for this. But while you’re there, if you could ask about-“
“Not to worry,” Twilight quickly interrupted. “I’ve already planned to ask the Princess myself as well as make a stop at the Canterlot Records Depository. If there’s a record of where she’s been, it’ll be there.”
Rarity quickly descended down the steps to give her friend a hug. “Thank you, Twilight,” she said, nuzzling her neck.
“Well, I had better be on my way,” Twilight said as she broke the hug.
As Twilight was walking towards the door, Applejack put her hoof right in the doorframe, blocking her path. “Alright, Twi, I’ll show you the way, but I ain’t gonna let you go nowhere all alone,” Applejack cut in. “I know you need your privacy and all, but you’re still in bad shape. We wouldn’t be able to forgive ourselves if’n somethin’ happened to you out there. Now Spike is the closest thing we’ve got to a doctor ‘round here and he probably knows his way around Canterlot better than you now, so he should probably go with you.”
Spike nodded in agreement.
“But-“
“Nope! It’s final. Either he goes with you, or you don’t go at all. Honestly, Twilight, it’s for your own good.”
“Alright then. I guess I don’t have a say in the matter,” Twilight chuckled. “Thank you all for your concern and understanding."
As Applejack and Twilight turned to leave, they heard a timid squeak from behind them.
“Um… Twilight?” Fluttershy mumbled “If the Princess can send you back to your time... will you, um, promise to say goodbye before you go? Only if it’s not too much trouble.” Fluttershy quickly tucked her head down to her shoulder as if she was afraid of the answer. Suddenly, she felt a set of hooves wrap themselves around her.
“Of course, Fluttershy. I promise.”
Fluttershy cheeks turned a light shade of pink as she stood there frozen in surprise. Slowly, she lifted her hooves to return the hug.
As Twilight turned to head on her way, she noticed that Fluttershy had not let go. In fact, she had been holding on as tight as she could, nuzzling Twilight’s shoulder. “Uh, Fluttershy...” she nervously chuckled.
Fluttershy’s eyes slowly opened to see that all her friends were giving her odd looks. Quickly, she realized that she hadn’t let go of Twilight yet, jumping back in embarrassment. Her whole face had turned red through her coat.
Together, Applejack, Spike, and Twilight headed off to the station, closing the door behind them.
“My, my, Fluttershy. What was all that about?” Rarity teased.
“EEP!” Fluttershy squeaked as she covered her head with her hooves.
-----
“Whoa!” Twilight gawked as she observed the tall archways of the monorail that seemed to stretch on for an eternity in both directions. Above, a monorail train was docked at the station. Its sleek metal hull was unlike anything Twilight had witnessed before. As they walked up the steps, they saw various ponies, mostly in business attire, moving quickly up the steps.
“When they built this here monorail, it made it real easy to get to big cities like Canterlot and Manehattan,” Applejack quickly explained, noticing Twilight’s confusion. “Most ponies figured they could get better jobs over there without havin’ to actually move there.”
Twilight gave her a quick nod as she resumed her gawking at the strangeness of the station. It wasn’t elaborate or unnecessarily large, but just seeing something like that right on the edge of Ponyville filled Twilight with wonder.
“I gotta warn you though,” Applejack said as they approached the toll gate. “Canterlot has gotten much bigger since you left.” Applejack reached into one of her saddle bags and pulled out four bits and inserted two of them into the slot on the gate. A light above the gate flashed green and made a dinging noise as the bar in the middle moved down out of the way. Almost immediately after Applejack cleared the gate, the bar sprung back up. “Here you go sugarcube.” Applejack said as she handed Twilight the two remaining bits.
Twilight slid the two bits into the slot, gawking at every action the machine made. “Wow, this is much easier than using tickets!” Twilight squealed in excitement as the machine let her pass.
Spike simply rolled his eyes as he paid the toll and passed on through. “Twilight, you might be overreacting a little. It’s not that amazing.”
“Well anyways, here’s where we part ways.” Applejack said quickly, trying to change the subject. “This here train will take you straight to Canterlot. As for me, well I’ve got some business to take care of at the farm.” Applejack reached over and gave Twilight a hug and sent her on her way. “You take good care of her Spike.”
“Will do, AJ. It’s what I do best.” Spike said as he followed Twilight into the car. As they walked to their seats, they waved to Applejack through the window.
Applejack waved back as she started to walk back towards the gate. Suddenly, a pony in a black hoodie cut her off, knocking her off balance and onto the ground. Without even turning around to help her up or apologize, the pony rushed through the closing doors without a second to spare. “Well excuse you pardner.” Applejack sneered.
In the monorail car, Twilight and Spike had turned their attention to each other, missing the incident. “Only one rail? How does this thing stay balanced?” Twilight asked Spike. As Spike began to explain the mechanics of the monorail as best as he could, Twilight felt a chill run down her spine. She had an eerie feeling creep up on her; the feeling that they were being watched.
-----
Rarity and Fluttershy had been walking through Ponyville major towards town hall. They had left shortly after the others in order to investigate the records of the Orphanage that Sweetie Belle had been sent to.
“Oh yes Rarity. It was really nice. I visited her a few times.” Fluttershy said as they walked through a freshly shoveled path through the snow.
“But I don’t quite understand! Why would she do all those things if she was so well taken care of? Rarity cried in frustration. “It just doesn’t make any sense!”
“Oh Rarity. I really don’t know. She looked really happy every time I saw her.”
Rarity let out a heavy sigh as they continued on. “I just hope that wherever she is, she is okay.”
Town hall hadn’t changed much in the fifteen years that had passed. Its architecture had remained the same, save for a few repairs, compared to the rest buildings in Ponyville which had undergone many design changes and remodeling. As Rarity and Fluttershy entered, they were greeted by a young looking Unicorn. Rarity noted quietly to Fluttershy that her dark gray suit vest clashed horribly with her light blue coat and her purple mane.
“Is there something that I can help you with?” asked the mare.
“Quite, Miss… um…” Rarity began.
“Tootsie Flute.”
“Yes well, I was wondering if perhaps we could speak with Mayor Mare for a moment?” Rarity continued.
The young mare cocked her head and gave Rarity a blank stare. Rarity noticed that Fluttershy had given her an embarrassed look as if she had forgotten to tell her something.
“Ma’am, Mayor Mare retired eight years ago.” Tootsie Flute replied in a condescending tone. “I believe the pony you are looking for would be Mayor Neighlin, and unfortunately, she is unavailable at the moment.”
“Well when will she be in?” Rarity impatiently asked.
“She is very busy, but I could schedule an appointment for you if you would like. How does next week sound?”
“NEXT WEEK?!” Rarity shouted. “But I only need to see if I can find any records of an Orphanage!” Rarity was leaning over the desk, practically over it and onto the other side.
“Oh well why didn’t you just say so?” The mare nervously chuckled, placing a hoof on Rarity’s forehead and slowly extending it until she was no longer on top of the desk. “Those are public records. I can show you those now if you’d like. What was the name of the orphanage?”
“Oh… it’s uh, Saint Marey’s Orphanage… miss.” Fluttershy squeaked out.
“Oh you mean the one that burned down? I remember that day well. I used to live not too far from there,” she said, giving a solemn look. “What would you like to know?”
“Well you see, my sister, Sweetie Belle, was sent there-“
“WAIT, YOU’RE SWEETIE BELLE’S SISTER?!” Tootsie Flute burst out.
“Yes. Did you know Sweetie Belle?” A glimmer of hope sparkled in Rarity’s eyes. This young mare was the first lead she had found since she had arrived in this time.
“Yeah! They had a day-care there as well. We played together when I went there,” Tootsie Flute had been smiling as she reminisced about her friend, but her expression quickly shifted to shock and fear. “I thought you were supposed to be dead! All she ever did was talk about you.” She quickly looked Rarity up and down and gave her a confused look. “I was sure she had said older sister though.”
“I’m sorry. It’s quite a long story but I need to know where I can find her.” Rarity grabbed her hoof as she pleaded.
“I’m really sorry, but I haven’t talked to her since the accident. I really wouldn’t know where to find her. I do, however, know somepony who does keep in touch though!” She gave Rarity a long pause and then let out a sigh. “But she moved to Cloudsdale last year. I think her name was Scooterly or something.”
“Oh, you mean Scootaloo!” Rarity exclaimed. She would never have guessed that on her first attempt, she would discover such a huge lead. She was so close to finding her sister already; she could feel it in her bones. “Thank you so much! This is more than enough to help me find her.” Rarity hopped back up over the desk and gave the mare a hug and then hastily made her way to the door with Fluttershy in tow.
Rarity began to gallop back to the Library with Fluttershy trailing behind, struggling to keep up. Suddenly, a pegasus zipped out of the sky and darted right in front of her, stopping her in her tracks.
“What the hay Rare?!” Rainbow Dash shouted. “I take some of my valuable time away from the Wonderbolts to help you guys out, and you go and disappear on me!”
“I am so very sorry Rainbow Dash, but I have some pressing matters-”
“You’re pressing my patience,” she blurted out, arms crossed. “I ain’t just loyal to you guys anymore. The Wonderbolts are relying on me too you know. If you’re gonna just-”
“Rainbow Dash, please!” Rarity shouted, her patience wearing thin. “Just hear me out.”
“Listening...” Dash said as she slumped down.
“On your way back to Cloudsdale, can you find Scootaloo and tell her that I need to see her. It is about my sister. You are the only pony I know who would have any idea where she is.”
“Uh, Rare.” Rainbow Dash nervously cut in. “I hate to break it to you, but Scootaloo can’t break practice for any reason.”
“Break practice?” Rarity questioned. “Wait, certainly you don’t mean...”
“Yup! Just made the newbie squad in the last tryouts,” Rainbow dash boasted. “I mean, seriously though, just look at who she looked up to. That girl was destined for greatness!”
“But Rainbow Dash, this is really important! Can’t you do something about it? I mean, you are the Captain of the Wonderbolts after all”
“It ain’t my rule. All Delta Squad members must have one-hundred percent attendance, or else they will be relieved from duty.” Rainbow Dash said sarcastically, quoting the rulebook. “If I let her get away with it, not only would I have to make the exception for everypony, but also I’d be breaking the rules too. I’d get voted out of my position faster than I can fly!”
Rarity lowered her head pitifully. She was so close to finding her sister, only to have her hopes wrenched away in an instant.
“Look Rare.” Rainbow Dash said trying to cheer her up. “I’ll let her know that you need to talk to her and maybe tomorrow, during her class break, you can visit her on campus. Getting there is on you though.”
“Alright, Rainbow Dash, I will be there. At what time does her break start?”
“12:30 sharp. You can’t be late. She gets fifteen minutes and if she’s late returning to class, she gets a mark. Each student only gets three marks a year before they are counted absent for one day.”
As Rainbow Dash turned to fly away, Rarity reached out and tugged on the hem of her uniform. “Rainbow Dash, I just want to let you know how grateful I am.”
Rainbow Dash smiled as she gave her a quick nod and then continued on her way.
-----
The library hadn’t seen this much action since Twilight had lived there. Books were flying from the shelves as Rarity hung from a ladder trying to find the right one. “Where is that book!” she shouted, tossing some of the books to the floor.
Cowering behind a couch with a pillow over her head to protect herself from the barrage of books was Fluttershy. She had been slowly pulling out books one at a time to try and help, but in Rarity’s frantic state, she had only served to get in the way.
“Aha!” Rarity cheered. “Here it is! ‘Cloud Walking for the Flightless’ I can’t believe it’s still here.”
“Oh my. I remember that spell.” Fluttershy said, peeking her head over the couch. “Are you sure you can do something like that? Maybe we should just wait for Twili-“
“Oh please, Fluttershy, dearie. It can’t be that hard.” Rarity said, rolling her eyes as she levitated her glasses up to her face. She began to flip through the pages until she finally came across an entry entitled 'Cloudwalker Spell'. “Ah yes… mhmm… focus levitation… ya, da, da, da, da… place magic lock on horseshoes… da, da, da. Ah yes this should be no problem at all!” Rarity boasted as she removed her horseshoes.
Rarity placed them in an open area of the room and began to focus a basic levitation spell on them. As they were floating in midair, she carefully shifted half her magic on another spell, which would lock the current spell to the shoes for an allotted amount of time. She began to focus harder as her horn started to glow brightly. Then in a flash of sparks, she released her magic and with a smug grin, observed four floating horseshoes. “Do you see Fluttershy? No problem at-“
Suddenly, the horseshoes went rocketing up through the roof of the tree and off into the sky.
“Ah! Those were my favorite shoes!” Rarity squealed.
-----
Canterlot was just coming into view as Twilight gawked at the sheer size of it. “Wow, Applejack sure wasn’t kidding when she said that it had grown. The entire base of the mountain had become an entire business district, complete with its own skyline that nearly reached the Royal Palace itself. Twilight began to reach for her bags to prepare to depart as they neared the first stop in Canterlot.
“No Twilight, the next station will get us closer,” Spike said as he put his hand on her shoulder. “Besides, this station is in a bad part of town.” Suddenly, he began to reach around the floor frantically “Oh man,” he mumbled.
What is it Spike? Did you lose something?
“My bag. It must have slid down the aisle or something while the train was moving,” Spike said nervously. “It had all my bits in there.”
The train was slowly docking into the station as many ponies started standing up and making their way to the front and rear exits.
“I’ll check the back, Spike. You should check the front.” Twilight suggested.
As they both stood up, the doors opened up as a mass of ponies began to exit. It had appeared that Twilight and Spike were the only ones left. Twilight was checking the underneath the seats as she made her way to the back. In the last seat was a pony in a black hoodie lying asleep but Twilight paid no attention to him as she made her way to the steps from the doors.
“I’ve got nothing.” Spike called out from the front of the car.
“Neither do-”
Suddenly the pony rose from the seat blocking Twilight’s path back into the aisle. “Looking for this?” the pony asked in a deep voice as he lifted up a hoof to show Spike the bag. The hoodie had obscured the pony’s eyes in a shadow, leaving only his light gray snout visible. He let out a toothy grin as he tossed the bag into Twilight’s hands and pushed her out the doors just as they closed shut.
Frantically, Twilight tried to pry open the doors with her hooves but they wouldn’t budge. Slowly, the monorail started to move again, quickly gaining speed as she struggled to keep up with it. “SPIKE!” She called out as she reached the end of the platform.
“Twilight!” Spike yelled as he ran towards the back of the car. “Why’d you go and do something like that! What’s wrong with you?”
The pony then removed the hood revealing long flowing purple and pink locks and a unicorn horn. Her green eyes sparkled with a radiance that Spike had never seen before. She was beautiful, but it didn’t distract him from what she had done. “Why did you do that?! She needs my help! She can’t be out there alone.”
“Oh please Spike.” She said in a beautiful voice that caught him completely off guard. “Twilight can handle herself. Why do you think I pushed her out? I can’t stand up to her.”
“No you don’t understand. She’s suffering from magical discharge! She can’t use her magic!” he shouted.
Instantly, the mare’s face dropped she realized her foalish mistake. “Wait what?! Oh no. Why… what… how was I supposed to know?!” she said as she began pacing back and forth nervously through the aisle.
“Wait just a second, how do you know our names?” Spike inquired, raising one eyebrow.
“Seriously?” she snorted. “You mean you don’t recognize me? It’s me! Sweetie Belle!”
“SWEETIE BELLE?!” he exclaimed. “You’re alive! I can’t believe it. Where have you been?”
“I’ve been on the run for twelve years,” she began. “I don’t know why they started chasing me, but when you live your life on the run, jobs don’t come easy, or particularly legal for that matter. I may not know what started this, but I’ve done things that I can’t turn back from now.”
“But you started the fire at the orphanage!” Spike burst out. “You’ve been wanted for arson!”
“What! There was a fire?!” Sweetie Belle shouted, legitimately surprised. “Was everypony okay?!”
“Wait you mean you didn’t know? The whole place went up. Everypony got out okay but you went missing. Maybe that’s why we all thought you did it.” Spike paused and began to mumble through his teeth. “Plus your history kind of supported the theory.”
“Hey! I’m sick of hearing all those rumors about me.” Sweetie Belle snapped “I didn’t fight or steal anything! It was all this girl that used to go there’s fault! She always stole things from town and gave them to me and then told on me. Nopony ever believed me because nopony ever stood up for me!”
“Why didn’t you tell us when we visited? I’m sure we could have put a stop to it.”
“They threatened that if I told, they would hurt me.” Sweetie Belle said starting to tear up. “They always did anyway. Every time she got caught, she blamed me and we both got in trouble for ‘fighting.’ All they ever did was slap her wrist but I got punished. They put me in a dark room for days every time. That’s why I ran away. I couldn’t take it anymore.”
“I’m… I’m sorry. I had no idea.” Spike said as he walked over to comfort her. “But why did you push Twilight out. I’m sure she would have understood.”
“I was scared. I know you guys were going to talk to the Princess. I didn’t have much time to come up with a plan.” Sweetie Belle had started crying out of shame. “I overheard you all in the station. I was afraid that she would lead me to the castle. I’d get arrested in a heartbeat. I didn’t mean her any harm. I thought she would be able to defend herself out there.”
Spike put his hand on the back of her head and brought her in to cry on his shoulder. “Shh, Sweetie Belle. We will find her and then we can put this all behind us. What did you need to have me alone for anyway?”
“M… my sister. Where is she?”
“We split up back in Ponyville. She’s worried sick about you,” Spike said as he held her close. “She went to go look for you. We can help you find her if you come with us.”
“But I can’t,” she cried. “You’re going to see the Princess. There are guards everywhere. If they see me, I’ll get locked up for sure.”
“That reminds me, why are you so wanted? Arson doesn’t warrant this much attention.”
Sweetie Belle had quickly sat up at the question, looking around nervously. “Oh… well that… let’s see. Remember those ‘jobs’ I talked about? Well, let’s just say that one of them involved… um… banking.”
“Sweetie Belle, please tell me you didn’t.” Spike groaned.
“Well I was never a good criminal. I was part of a group, and… well… I was the only one they could identify.” Sweetie Belle could feel the distance Spike put between her and himself. “Look, I had no other choice! I had nothing: no home, no family, nopony believed in me. Could you say you would have done anything differently in my place?”
Spike looked down out of guilt. “I’m sorry. It’s just a lot to take in. If I had known, I would have tried to do more for you. Honestly.” Spike looked deep into her eyes. “But we can help you now. We may not be able to clear your name of everything, but we can help you clear your name from the arson. Maybe if you turn yourself in, we can get some leniency.” Spike could tell that his plan offered little solace for the distraught unicorn, but still he pressed on. “Do you know who would’ve started that fire? Anypony at all?”
“I already have a good idea of who did it. She sure talked about it a lot.” Sweetie Belle’s eyes burned with anger. “Her name was-”
Suddenly, the train lurched forward coming quickly to a stop. In the car ahead, Sweetie Bell could see a pegasus guard talking to the conductor as another one quickly descended down the aisle, checking the passengers as he passed them. “It looks like my luck has run out. At least you know Twilight is still looking after you,” Sweetie Belle sighed.
“I won’t stand for this, Sweetie Belle. You are innocent in my eyes.” Spike took a deep breath and blew fire against the window of the car, melting a large hole in it. “Go! I’ll hold them off.”
“Spike! You can’t!” she pleaded. “You’ll get arrested… I’m not worth it!”
The guard had noticed the disturbance in their car at this point, and was now galloping down the aisle towards the door.
“Some things are more important than my record.” Spike said with a smile. “You need to find your sister. You two are all each other have left. Now go!” he shouted, lifting Sweetie Belle through the hole as she jumped onto a service platform below. “Go back to Ponyville and find Fluttershy.”
“Thank you, Spike,” she called out as she descended down a ladder on one of the columns.
Spike watched her go as behind him, a guard grabbed him and pinned him against the window, cuffing his hands together.
-----
Twilight waited patiently in the lobby of a guard station. It was in fact her that had alerted the guards to the kidnapping on the train shortly after it left the station.
“Miss Sparkle?” One of the guards called out.
“Um, yes. That’s me,” she responded nervously. “Did you find my friend?”
“We were unable to catch the perp, but we caught your ‘friend’ helping them escape. He’s going to be spending the night in lockup but he requested to speak with you. If you’ll follow me?” The guard led Twilight down a long hallway down to a holding cell where her purple friend sat waiting.
“Oh, Twi, I’m glad to see you’re alright,” he cheerfully greeted.
“I wish I could say the same,” she sarcastically responded. “What’s wrong with you? They told me you helped your kidnapper get away! Did you forget what he did to me?
“She.”
“Huh?”
“What she did to you,” he corrected. “Twilight, it was Sweetie Belle. Before you say anything, I know that it’s strange but it’s a long story and I don’t have enough time to tell it,” he said, anxiously eyeing the clock on the wall. “Just do me a favor. Go on the next train and at the next stop, head right up Mane Street until you reach Royal Boulevard. Take a left there and the rest of the way should be the same as it was fifteen years ago. You need to go talk to the Princess.”
“But Spike?” she asked. “What about you? What about Sweetie Belle?”
“I’ll be fine. I’m going to be out in about twelve hours.” Spike took a look around to make sure nopony was listening. He motioned for Twilight to come in closer. “Sweetie Belle is on her way back to Ponyville,” he whispered. “If you see her, keep her safe. She’s in a lot of trouble but she’s innocent.”
The guard started to walk back down to the cell. “Okay, time’s up,” he said as he led Twilight back down the hallway.
“I will, Spike!” she shouted.
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Great update. Although I am kind of surprised with how Harsh Rainbow Dash is in this tale. I mean I understand she finally acheived her dream of being in the Wonderbolts and all, but...
Also interesting situation that Sweetie-belle's in and I do wonder if Twilight and Rarity can clear her name.
Also I do wonder upon whether or not Rarity and Twilight can make it back into the present to avoid all of this.
Please do keep up the good work upon such a great tale.
21533
RD is a complex character even though she doesn't show it on the surface. The type of pride that she has is a terrible leadership quality, but loyalty is a great one. Right now, RD is in the middle of a loyalty conflict between her friends and the Wonderbolts. On one hoof, she could help her friends but then probably lose her position with the Wonderbolts, but on the other if she doesn't help her friends, they run the risk of never finding what they are looking for. She was acted a little harsh because deep down, she felt that if she distanced herself, they wouldn't rely on her as much, and then she could go back to the Wonderbolts without conflict.
But that's just my take on it.
I'm still experimenting with her character.
21533
Also, thank you. I'm having a lot of fun writing this.
I'm curious now what really happened to Sweetie Belle since she claims to be innocent for the arson and whatnot. She mentions another pony but not by name which seems to be a little odd. I have to admit it's nice to see that Twilight isn't the only pony who can have trouble with spells. Rarity is probably in for a bit of trouble just trying to get to Cloudsdale let alone trying to meet up with Scootaloo without getting her into trouble. Hopefully Fluttershy will be helpful in managing that.
Hopefully we can get back to Pinkamena and find out a little more on what exactly happened there.
15 years is a lot of time and so much can happen in that time frame...
I like where you are going with this story!
23858
Psh. Cupcakes is so 'last year.' Fimflamfilosophy's reading of it made it funny
23884
Thank you for your honesty. I will definitely try my best to make it flow better.
Good story you've got here, I'm not really one for fan fiction, but you've managed to snag me. Reminds me of Deus Ex Human Revolution a bit with the atmosphere, Pinkamena bit reminded me of the film Misery. I'm interested to see where this goes, the meeting with Luna, how exactly the world is surviving in a constant state of deep winter and moonlight.
That said, the whole thing with Sweetie Bell seems a bit of a tangent. I know it's probably leading up to a big revelation about sisterhood and all that, but when she showed up, I really just skimmed the part where she was involved. It doesn't read well, the dialogue needs tweaking to make it less wooden, and maybe after the story is finished (because if there is one thing I have learned as a author it is to not get bogged down with details in the first draft because otherwise the story will never get completed) you can go back and make her part in the future Equestria seem more important alongside finding out all the other mysteries.
All in all, good read. I'll keep an eye out for updates on EQD.
23902
Are you alright?
23923
I have. It didn't bother me much. I'm NOT referencing Cupcakes though.
I'm liking this so far, and eagerly awaiting the Luna chapter. When will the next one be up?
23926
When it's done. Lol. I have a particularly busy schedule but I do make time for this. I'll try and devote as much time as I can to this.
Pretty interesting so far. Time travelling always offers a lot of potential.
Great job. this is def a great fanfic
so far i like where everything is going
soo... if im getting this right belle pulled a bank job?
nice.
but i do have one question
THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE?
23950 More like tried to, and failed miserably. Anyways thanks! I'm glad you like it.
23951 She is pulling the strings. Just kidding. I don't really plan for her to be in it. Her presence wouldn't and anything to the story other than a distraction. Sorry.
This is Excellent! More please!
Thank you for that story, i don't usualy read sad fanfics, this one is my first ever (also, i'm french, sorry for my grammar) I only wonder.
-How celestia died?
-I feel like something terrible happened to sweetie belle, i mean, the responsible is probably that mare from the mayor office, who claimed to know her.
-Something happened to Spike to, but i can't guess what...
Keep up the good work.
I liked everything you wrote except for the Spike/Sweetie Belle exchange. It seemed rushed and stilted.
24088
Absolutely. *wink*
*smile* The story has picked up with this chapter. It's wonderful.
Thank you for writing it so far; I look forward to reading the rest of it!
... Okie Doki Loki then! Trevor has made his decision! He shall continue to read this fic as it updates! There aren't enough time-fics out there, so one shall continue to read!
~ Magical Trevor, Minstrel of Equestria
23869 to you mate others still find it somewhat scary...i think dash deserved to die to be honest
im excited for everything you have to work off potentially here... keep up the good work!!
this alicorn is impressed by this fan fiction
I love this, and am waiting anxiously for another chapter :o hope I can sleep tonight
At least it's not the moon that's gone. If it was the moon that disappeared then there would be no way of returning to the past.
Anyway, on the fic itself, I think you've done an excellent job so far. The characterization is very good and believable. I'm uncertain about the lack of communication that you are giving your characters, but I'm all for willing suspension of disbelief. There are plenty of reasons that could be attributed to why nopony seems to be telling the full story right away.
NOTE: SPOILERS
The only thing I didn't particularly like is everything occurring with Sweetie Belle on the monorail. I see no reason why Twilight couldn't be there when Sweetie asked about her sister, and Sweetie's reasoning behind it, that being one of fear, seems a bit contrived. Maybe if it were delved into a little more.
That, however, is my only complaint. The entirety of the story is brilliant, and I love being able to see Sweetie Belle explored and characterized. Doesn't happen that often in fics or in the show. Keep up the good writing; I eagerly await more.
...Now I just need to figure out how to save this page or navigate this site >_>
What a very good story! Love it.
Like the story but Raainbow is acting a little harsh.....
I LOVE THIS STORY ITS AWESOME! CAPS FTW!
SO SAD!
Keep up the good work!
How does it feel to have your story disproved by canon?
I think when Rarity and Twilight back in their own time, the story continues with Sisterhooves Social...
25156
Check my blog.
You win 1,000,000 Internets. Awesome story, cannot wait until the next part! But Fluttershy demands you write it quicker (She said it, not me!)
25236 I've seen lots of discussion on this recently, and while the whole Rarity's parents thing is obviously going to disrupt a lot of fanfics, don't let it discourage you. That's the risk we all take when a show is still being made, and it still makes a good "alternate universe" story. More near and dear to my heart is the doubt that's come up about Dinky being Ditzy's daughter, but there have been a lot of reasoned argument about this as well, that mostly go like this:
Of course Dinky wouldn't have been at a sisters' event, because they aren't sisters. Dinky was allowed to use a stand-in, lacking an actual sister (as was Sweetie Belle for that matter, since she was allowed to start the race with Applejack). So, there's still some life in this one, and I will address what they did in a side story to my fanfic "My Funny Sister."
That said, I've also had to take the position that the background characters get thrown into scenes so haphazardly, that if you're going to write about them, you'll go mad trying to account for every appearance, and are better off being able to overlook the less prominent times, since they sometimes even contradict themselves.
25422
Thanks. I kinda wrote that right in between commercials while the show was still going on. It was panic but now I'm calm about it. And it really means a lot coming from you. I love 'My Funny Sister' and that was actually the reason I felt bad about the Dinky and Derpy thing.
I'm not too heavily invested in Dinky yet, since I could just remove the two references to a daughter without hurting the story, or just leave it alone, since I never referred to the daughter by name. The story I'm planning does require it to be Dinky, though, so I may sit on that a while and see how this plays out, though I do have an idea of how to mitigate it if necessary.
I haven't actually read this fic yet, but it's on my reading list, and I'll give an appropriately pithy comment and (high, no doubt) rating when I get there.
Congrats on getting this posted at EqD!
25687
Thank you. Same goes for you.
This is up there with bittersweet
PSH. Cupcakes. Sure. This obviously has nothing to do with that story.
And Cupcakes was a good story, just a bit farged up.
MOAR PLZ SOON
Can't Wait till the next part :D
Ok, finally got to this. Very well done, nice flow to the story, and it keeps me interested. Very few grammar issues, to the point where I don't really notice unless I'm trying to find them. A couple of issues that you could easily address in future chapters:
If Celestia had prohpesied about what happened, why don't more ponies know about it?
If the sun's really gone, how does Equestria get any heat, and what's reflecting light off the moon? If it's just stuck on the other side of the planet, then presumably everyone could go there.
And one last quibble, one that affects many fanfics: I see a lot of people use the term "fur," which isn't really correct. Fur is hair that sheds seasonally, so it's better just to use "hair" or "coat."
Top-notch work here, as you've really got me guessing on which way several plot points will go.
29587
#1 - Just cause she knows doesn't always mean she tells. ;)
#2 - As the show has described, the princesses control both the sun and the moon and not the rotation of the Earth, meaning the sun and moon do orbit around the Earth. Second, it was described that the moon would need to "make way" for the sun to rise, so I'm assuming that means that they always have to be on opposite sides. If this is the case, the moon would always be in a perpetual lunar eclipse, so that would mean that the moon would have to be its own light source in Equestria. As for the heat, since the moon would be its own light source, it would also have to emit a certain amount of heat on its own. That, added to the heat of the Earth itself, would keep Equestria from freezing over (at least for a while).
Yes yes I thought of that already. :)
#3 - Thanks for the correction on the fur though. I would have never noticed.
Thank you for reading! I'm really glad you enjoyed it.
29792 I had also considered the possibility that Equestria is flat, and the sun and moon just cycle in a circle beyond the horizon.
30002
In one of the stained glass windows of Celestia's throne room, there is an image of a globe. I think you can see it in the intro song.
30037 Uhh sorry to interupt on your conversation but the moon gets its light from the sun. The light that we see is just a reflection of the suns light. You know if you wanted to get technical ... if thats ok
34305 I know. It's just that based off of what we know from the show, (Our Earth =/= Equestria's Earth) that may or may not be their situation. Really, all the laws of physics in Equestria are open to interpretation.