Oh my fucking god yes.

Take my money, TAKE IT.

The concept is over used in personally for me in cartoons but this is good

OH SHIT ANGEL IS THE FUCKING MOB!!!!!!!!

@Sir Lionheart Angel

That he is.  Sweet, innocent little Fluttershy doesn't realize that, of course.

Sweet Celestia, yes! This is excellent, and I love the personality you gave to Angel! Five moustaches, a like, and a watch for you!

Now I will always imagine Angel as a mobster.  Just need to find him a tiny Tommy gun.

So, like...

Am I the only one imagining Angel being voiced by Joe Pesci?

Just out of curiosity.

I like this.

and Gummy HAS to make an appearance.

>>458999458999

Yeah as the enemy mafia gang or something

>>459154459154

nah, I picture him more as the crazy guy that acquires.....things for the right price.

I mean, he lives with Pinkie Pie. imagine what kinda stuff he could get his gums on.

>>459178459178

Hmmm seems legit

Copying my comment on the deviant art, this is Brilliant so far!  So looking for more of this already

@Blackbelt

Don't you worry.  Gummy will DEFINITELY be in this later.

Tracking this. I love how Angel has a little mafia operation running and how Fluttershy has no clue.

You have no idea what you have created, have you? Well you do since you created it... but you have no idea how much yes I give.

All my yes to this. And my money, and house and ex-girlfriend. Except that last one - trust me, you wouldn't want it.

We absolutely MUST meet the other pony pets in this story! Opalescence, Winona, Gummy, Tank, Owlowscious... Maybe Philomena?

I have to wonder how the bunny mob works... Is it quite as brutal as an earth mob? I'd suspect not, seeing how, you know, it's Equestria and all, but I can't imagine Fluttershy will be very pleased to find out about Angel's 'business.'

It's weird though. You said that he had a slight italian (neightalian) accent... but I honestly couldn't help but hear him be voiced by Scott McNeil (Rattrap from Beast Wars) 'cept that Rattrap had a Brooklyn Accent. I 'unno... guess it's 'cause New York was so well known for the mob alongside Chicago...

There are only a few things I can really criticize here... The first is that Rainbow Dash seems really kinda out of character at the beginning. I'm surprised that she'd be so into Las Pegasus, at least for the things she says... since when has Rainbow Dash ever really been interested in Cultural stuff? Sounds more like Rarity's gig. I dunno, If she were squeeing about the city, I'd think she'd be more into the Casinos and the Bars and maybe some random Wonderbolts trivia or something (maybe Spitfire hails from Las Pegasus?) ...Not Restaurants and Culture and Scenic views and stuff of that ilk...

The other thing is there's some really awkward wording that kinda takes you out of the story in a few different places. One was that 'collective terms' thing, which seems a bit verbose for the Angel you're portraying... Another is the part "I know this is a whole new experience for you, and I can see that if I let you, you’d keep throwin’ questions at me all day.  But here's the bottom line; you can't rely on your pony pals to help you this time.  Now, I seem to recall you wanting to try to do something about this sudden transformation of yours, and we ain’t exactly making any progress just sitting here" Which really stands out as basically the author just saying 'yeah there are a lot of questions to ask, but we need to get the story moving.' That's the sort of thing that breaks flow and immersion. There are a few other spots that are worded awkwardly but those two are the biggest.

Don't get me wrong though, it is a really interesting story and seems like it'll make for some really fun situations...

Yes... We need more of this. Do continue please. I have to know where this is going...

Ok, what??? I don't know how to respond to this... But I think I like it! To soon to tell though. And what's with the bunny mob? Do they offer "protection" or do they deal in drugs (what would a bunny consider a drug anyway?) and weapons and stuff? Anyway, I liked shipping and handling, so I'm sure this one will be just as enjoyable. Good work!

Lol if there's a pun in the title I'll read it

@Cheerilee-party-hard

Of course, the bunny mafia will be expanded upon.  Wait for the later chapters.

@infinite scratch

So far I have two stories.  Both have pun titles.  Expect more in the future.

this story is f***ing adorable!

"with what sounded like a Neightalian accent"

I'm sorry, I'm afraid the answer we were looking for was "Istallion."

On the other hoof, HOLY SHIT A BUNNY MAFIA! Why has no one thought of this before?! All of the yes is being hurled in your direction! Do not screw this up, capice?

I LOVED IT! But I can't wait for the sequel! I WON'T sleep tonight wonderin wut'll happen to Fluttershy!

I like the happy fanfics! (You see that I am a Pinkie Pie kind of brony?)

Lol @ the bunny mafia.  This looks interesting.  Tracking.

Aww shucks Flutters... Ah jus' didn't recognize y'all there. Ya know, all y'all bunnies look the same t'us ponies.

>>523734523734 Seconded!

I came here because of the tag "Rabbit Mafia"

you got me at every bunny. u know it took me forever ti alter my human vocabulary to ponys

everyone>evrypony but now everybunny *Tracking*

Oh my, Angel is perfect in this story! It might make me actually like him! I know for sure that if I see him in the show I'm not going to be able to look at him the same way.

I await a protection racket at some point

So...Angel is the mafia leader of the bunnies? Never saw it like that before...

But, gotta say that I love where this story is heading. Although Fluttershy should just write her problem down on some paper and show it to Applejack.

Keep track of this story. Keep it up!

Why does "cooperate and listen" rings me a bell?

Las Pegasus sounds like a pretty good place to spend vacations, but wouldn't somepony notice that Fluttershy's baggage is still there?

I could think of no better way to portray Angel.

favourited

@The Brave and Mightly Pepper

Yeah, I've had the image of mobster Angel in my head for ages, I just had to get it out into a story.

the only reason i gave this a try was because of two words....Rabbit. Mafia. and im glad i did!

I've always imagined Angel with a Brooklyn accent. Just for that alone, I love this.

Angel's the Don. He runs a protection racket. Those are my theories. I dare you to try and poke holes in it.

Angel is a Mob boss.

Yeah, I think this is the best fanfic ever.

I like it.

Keep it up.

Of course Angel is a mob boss.

I'm just wondering what Tank is...

Hmmmm i wonder if the tea had any side effects

Also I hope the bunnies aren't having trouble with the local Gryphon minority, i hear they are carnivorous!

Good story! *favorite*

LOL I think at this stage the flower was heart's desire. TRACKING

Very good story.

Just don't describe the transformation in graphic detail.

If you do. . . I'll say it like Zecora: "Beware, Beware, my dear, dear, author: I fear such imagery will bring out the clopper."

Keep it up!

@Pederia

Fluttershy wasn't even conscious when the transformation occurred; I don't think she could describe it if she wanted to.

And describing it is just irrelevant, so don't worry, I won't.

I am liking where this is going. This looks like it's going to be one awesome story.

Wait a second... Main Mare? oh my Celestia, tell me that is a reference to Lobo. It's a good story, and I'd like to see more, so, tracking it is!

@Azkhare

No intentional refrence to whatever Lobo is, sorry.

Huh, don't think I've seen a "Fluttershy transforming into a rabbit" story before.  So kudos on that.

I can only assume based on the tags that they're going to see Owlowiscious, that he's going to write out a message for Twilight and problem  solved.

Somehow, I find it completely unsurprising and totally in character for Angel Bunny to be running a Mafia family.

Good stuff, I wanna read more.

The animals pounced on the food like they hadn't eaten in days....

Angel has a special stash of carrots.....

Am I sensing a connection here?

Holyshitthisisawesome!!!

. . .  That is how I always imagined Angel Bunny. . .  This is amazing.  Good job, tracked.

PRB, I thoroughly enjoyed Shipping and Handling. I expect nothing less than greatness from this. Plus, who could possibly hate Bunny Mafia Boss Angel?

Liked and favorited.

Loved the first chapter, Angel as a mob boss actually fits pretty well, wonder what role Tank'll take, if Gummy's the fixer, maybe Tank is the eye int he sky who sells information?

I almost died laughing when I read that Angel is the head of a bunny Mafia!

I bet all the pets are in on it...

WInona: Honest farm worker, just like her owner.  Occasionally comes into contact with Angel, but disapprove of his shady dealings.

Opalescence and Owloysius: They both work as spies. informants, and occasionally thieves (yes, Opal is a literal cat burglar). They work together to cover both day and night jobs.  Opal's white fur coat is ill-suited for night-work (she refuses to rub dirt or ash in it to darken it.  Besides, Rarity would ask questions...), and Owloysius is nocturnal.

Gummy: Pretty much what Blackbelt said.  "The crazy guy that acquires.....things for the right price."

Tank: Retired soldier from the Chelonian Army.  Recruited as an adviser to Angel, serving as an occasional voice of reason.  Is extremely loyal to Rainbow Dash, his caretaker, mostly because he feels Rainbow is a kindred spirit and follows the same "never leave a friend behind" mentality, but also because she granted him the gift of flight.  Also feels indebted toward Fluttershy for giving his life meaning again (pushing him into Rainbow's pet competition).  

@SgtFrog

Some of those guesses are dead on.  Others are about as opposite from what I have planned as possible.

And I'm not going to tell you which is which!

But yes, all of those pets will be in the story.

If Angel is only a Capo, that means that there's somebunny above him, and a head boss above them who works with The Commission.... not that i would know that.. ..... ....

Take my likes

@FatherLiir

Well, uh...

I thought Capo just meant "boss".  Couldn't that be any level of boss?

Am I looking for "Capo di tutti capi" maybe?

I don't know.  Angel's in charge.  Except for Fluttershy, but she has no bearing on the mob's operations.

And Angel is a mob boss.

This story has all of my yes. All of it.

SO

MUCH

YES

Only comment: "Kapeesh" should be spelled capisce, if you want to be all authentic and junk.  Then again, if Angel Bunny (Angelo Bunny?) isn't really from Sicily, he might not speak Italian... But the Button Brothers called him the capo, right?  So.  That's how you spell it.

I feel sorry for Fluttershy.  Her world will be flipping like turning upside-down is going out of style.

Very very cute.

Angel? A Mobster? YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!

More stories from the brilliant creator of Shpping and handling? Oh I am so following this story. I'm going to stalk this like stalkaloo.

I know EXACTLY where this is going!

Fluttershy eventually manages to communicate to Twilight and the purple Princess protege tries to use a spell to change her back!  Of course, this being a fanfic, Twilight is utterly incapable of performing a spell properly and it totally backfires... changing Twilight and Big Mac (who walks in for no reason) into spiderses and Flutteryshy into a butterfly.

Spider Twillight wraps Flutterfly up and she and Big Mac Spider suck out her innards.  The end!  (Grimdark)  >:}

*Fluttershy does not approve of this ending*  

@Alondro

That was good for a laugh.  

Suffice to say, this isn't planning on crossing over with any other fanfics, disturbing or otherwise.

Heck, I don't even think we'll be seeing much of Twilight in this story at all for that matter.

You sir (Or madam) deserve a . Or . OR OVER 9000! I love this story. I can't wait to see more of it!

>>528139528139 I honestly wouldn't have caught that!

Sweet Celestia,this is gonna be a ride, isn't it? As an Italian myself, keep this up! Capisce?

I love this and I love you for writing it. Can't wait to see what all the pets are like when they can talk

That story got me with a goofy smile all along. I wonder if Fluttershy will ever catch on.

I have to agree that Rainbow Dash described Las Pegasus a bit OOC'ly but that's vastly irrelevant and didn't bother me much.

Also, in reference to what Dusty >>464402464402 said, I'd say you're over-narrating and over-explaining everything, but just a bit (and too much in that whole question-answer section he mentioned). I suggest you leave a few ends loose and untied in order to let the reader's imagination soar. Remember, part of what makes FiM a great show is that they condense a lot of plot in 22 minutes; so try to set yourself a word budget (say, 3k per chapter), and, when you're done writing, prune wisely until you meet it.

Overall, nice job, sir. MOAR!

@Ekevoo

I will admit that I explained things a little too thoroughly in chapter 1.  It was just to make sure that everyone was on the same page I was, and I'm trying to decrease that wealth of narration in the rest of it.

Chapter 2 should be out either tonight or tomorrow, depending on how long editing takes.

Oh, but 3000 words is the absolute minimum for any given chapter according to EQD protocol last I checked, and since this is EQD published, they need to be a little longer than that.  I'm not gonna have 9500 word chapters like I did in my other story though; this one simply isn't complex enough for that.

Bunny City, with Angel as the Capo.  Her awakening shall be rude.

So, when will Bunnyshy meet Opal, Gummy, Winona, and Tank? Because you really need to do those meetings!

I predict Opal will have a fit, Gummy simply won't care, and I don't have a clue about Winona and Tank.

Yay someone actually remembered Peewee, and a bunny city? This can only be hilarious

This story is bloody brilliant:  funny, interesting, well-written, and a whole new view of Ponyville and the smaller creatures therein through the eyes of Flutterbunny.  Your characterization of Angel is tons of fun as well.  I absolutely love it.  Keep up the fun, PRB.

A bunny city. With Angel Capone, the mob boss.

Bene. Let the action roll!

I think Gummy will be either a gentleman or someone who knows how to "aquire" merchantise. Must.. see.. Gummy...

>>561406561406

You mean the black market dealer? Maybe..

Opal's the Moll/Femme Fatale, right?

And then Watership Down happens.

PEEWEE! I FORGOT ABOUT PEEWEE!

I don't think I've read a single fic with Peewee! I don't know why I find the fact that this story does to be so amazing, but I do.

Also, haha Bunny City. I can only imagine... A full on gangster city with Angel at its head...

I hope bunny city is like prohibition era Chicago. That would be so full of win

I was expecting like animal thugs and stuff to be the dangers of Ponyville for critters, being caught by fillys and dressed up as a danger? Made me lol.

that was awesome. needs moar mafia style Angel stuff

gummy should be a 'refined gentleman' with a top hat and a monocle, cause that totally goes against everything that Pinkie Pie is

damn Spike fixing the step

>>561406561406

I can get you any baked good, Sweets and other savouries for the right price

Hot Sauce as well

Will there be...

...

Wait for it...

playboy bunnies

Image: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Luna_lolface.png

Why can't I click thumbs up more than once!?

Anyway, nicely done. This is going to be good, when she gets to the city. Especially seeing el capo Angel's little outfit he has going.

I foresee the next chapter being very amusing.

Aaahahahahahahaha!  F***in' amazing!

I see Opal as more a villain, a sadistic B***h who all the smaller creatures fear due to her violent tendencies.  Winnona as a kind loving dog who is really kind to the other animals, and playful.  Tank as a haggard 'war veteran' who may always refer to the race through Deadwind Gorge as his 'war.'  And Gummy as the kind of guy who can acquire right things for the right price, as others have said.

Not bad. Owlowiscious is way different than what I expected, but I really like him. I like his relationship with Peewee too.

You're still overexplaining things, leaving little room for the reader's imagination, resulting in a story that amuses, but is quickly forgotten. For example, having the characters completely settling the blame off of Rainbow's intentions as soon as she was brought up was unnecessary, even if you have no plans to use that plot point, I know that won't happen for sure.

@Rezival

Think about that for a second.  Why would animal thugs be a danger to them?  Angel is the leader of the animal thugs.  If he likes you, that's about as safe as you can be.

@Azz042

More on mafia Angel next time, this chapter was more about finding an explanation for Fluttershy's predicament.

But the attempt to turn back into a pony isn't going to be the only major conflict in this story...

I wonder how horrified Fluttershy will be when she sees what Angel is up to...

>>561253561253

I suspect Gummy possesses the wisdom of the ages, but speaks only in riddles.

Owloycius and Peewee down, only Opal, Gummy, Winona, and Tank to go

By the way, this story is pure awesome!

This bunny city will not be as cute and cuddly as she thinks its gonna be! I mean- we've already seen how ravenous they can be.... IMAGINE AN ENTIRE SOCIETY OF THEM! Not to mention the bunny mafia.

*reads story

*turns to look at rabbit litter in neighbor's yard

Doesn't anyone have a Molotov cocktail I can borrow?

I predict Gummy to be like the ever wise, ever silent dude, who occasionally says something really smart, really deep, and really, really meaningful. In other words; awesome.

Also, good chapter!

Edit:

>>563676563676

Yeah, pretty much that!

Is there a bunny FBI?

A bunny city and Angel as a capo, oh dear, My Little Scarface...

>>562038562038 We got your sweets, we got your spicy

Whatever you want

I'm not gonna lie, I totally forgot about Peewee... :derpytounge2:

Gummy will say nothing, just sit there unblinking and fall over.

Opal would probably try to eat them.