The Other Elements

by Eternal Stability

Prolouge: The Storm of the Centruy

"Mum? I'm going out, don't expect me back till late." The ginger haired boy called as he put on his coat.

"Don't be out too long Max." A blond woman called back from the lounge. "And don't do anything stupid!" But she was already talking to an empty room. Max quickly made his way down the street and out toward the river, away from the hustle and bustle of the village. The weather was taking a break from the British norm after the raging hurricane that stole through the country. The evidence was everywhere: Broken trees, trash flung across the streets and cars lying on their sides. But the houses were made of sturdier stuff. Stone is like that. Unwavering. Solid. Dependable.

He walked down a short flight of stairs and into the forest's cool embrace. The fleeting call of a bird, the ringing of busy insects and the trickling sound of water filled the air. Max felt a calm in nature that eluded him in the urban sprawls. Passing a jogger, he noticed that even the forest was subject to the weather's whims. Trees leaning against each other and small landslides on the hills. But as he moved into the ruin he sighed in relief. It was still intact, if not, as intact as a ruined 16th century Scottish hamlet. Walls knocked over with trees growing out of the middle of rooms. He moved over to the building that was once a mill and watched the rivers rapids churn and froth. As if angry at the world. Water was wild. Untameable. It would always yearn to break it's bonds and wear down the world to dust. As the broken dam further down the river showed. He didn't know how long he was there, yet he didn't care.

The wind whispered in his ears as he moved to return home but stopped as he took in the sight before him. The village had not escaped as intact as he thought. A large willow had fallen, breaking down one of the walls backing a hill. He marvelled at the sheer power the wind would have needed to force the tree to expose it's roots, lying dejected on the ground. The air was powerful, it was fluid, yet solid when forced into movement. Even now he felt a push against his side as the wind began to pick up. Going from a gentle whisper to a mild howling. Looking to the sky, he noticed dark clouds gathering. He saw a lighting flash through a cloud and heard the thunderclap a moment later, like a cannon firing. Several seconds of quiet passed with the only movement being that of the clouds. When a sudden downpour crashed on the un-expecting forest.

Max looked around for some cover from the abrupt storm, until he realised that all of the buildings around him were little more than walls. He moved towards the fallen willow and noticed a hole that had been exposed by the giants fall. Diving into the hole in relief as another thunderclap sounded. Taking note of his new surroundings he noticed that it wasn't just a niche behind a wall, it was a purpose build tunnel. His first step was interrupted when he kicked a stick lying on the floor. Picking it up, he noticed it had a rag around the top and a piece of flint and a nugget of steel lay under it. He quickly struck the steel against the flint and a spark leapt towards the torch, which caught and spread. Max smiled as he looked at his new tool. Knew that wilderness survival course would come in handy! Waste of money my arse he thought, staring into the seductive dance of the flames. Fire is pure energy. Light and heat. It consumed anything in it's quest to sustain itself.

He swung the torch towards the darkness, which quickly retreated from the flames. Gathering his courage, he took a few tentative steps away from the blowing storm and into the earth's dark embrace. A scant minute later he arrived at a large room which housed a thick coating of dirt and several chests. His face lit up like a light bulb. Filled with anticipation of treasure he ran to the nearest container and was crushed by the fact it was locked. A quick check revealed they were all locked. He dreams of luxury quickly burned, and the ashes spread to the wind. Another look around the room revealed a doorway. Poking his head around the corner he saw a long corridor.

Several minutes later he had searched not one, not two, but FOURTEEN rooms filled with chests yet not ONE was unlocked. His mood sour as he entered the last room in the hallway, fully expecting to find another room of crushed hopes. But he was wrong. Before him lay a church. A modest one, but he was still hanging on the fact there was a church underground. He noticed that there was an object on the alter, a smooth, perfectly spherical white stone the size of his fist. He walked down the aisle and was standing before the alter in seconds. As he put the torch down it was snuffed out. Panic quickly set in and he fumbled in his back pockets for the flint and steel, when a glow caught his eye. The stone was Glowing.

He put the flint and steel back into his pocket and dropped the torch to the floor. The glow was mesmerising. The stone's surface shifted colours as if hollow and filled with smoke. He absently reached out a hand towards it. By the time he realised what he was doing it was too late. It was in his hand. Uh oh All of the Indiana Jones movies said 'Never pick up an artifact. They are always trapped.' His fears were confirmed as the ethereal glow brightened. He tried to throw it away, but it was stuck to his hand and however much he pried he couldn't remove his fingers from the sphere, still glowing brighter. As the glow began to hurt his eyes he move the other hand over the offended organs. There was a loud clap and he suddenly felt drained, physically and mentally. He collapsed to the floor which he didn't notice had changed from stone to wood, where the orb detached from his hand and rolled to his face. you bastard he thought. slipping into unconsciousness he could have sworn he heard a shriek and seen a purple blur.

---

Twilight had been having a wonderful day. She had re-organised the library. Twice. Re-read the entire Daring Do series and had just eaten a wonderfully filling dinner out with her best friends in the world. A small snore alerted her to the drake lounging on her back. She giggled as she entered the Golden Oaks library. Her home. Quietly making her way across the room and up the stairs as not to wake the slumbering dragon. Lifting Spike from her back with the soft twinkle of her lavender magic. After depositing the drake on the small basket she made her way back towards the main library. Deciding to read up on the finer points of teleportation, she trotted to the advanced magic section and pulled 'The Art of Teleportation, Translation and Displacement.' from the shelf. Half an hour later she had dropped off into the land of nod, but was quickly roused by a colossal clap of thunder.

After several minutes of attempting to clear her ears of the ringing she looked through the library for the source of the noise. Twilight shrieked as she saw a pale creature lying on the floor. She dashed up the stairs and quickly shook Spike awake. "SPIKE! GET UP!" She shouted, ears still ringing.

"Whoa, don't shout Twi," The dragon yawned, "What's going on?" She looked at him in amazement. He had slept through the whole thing... Wow, He is a heavy sleeper. She thought, but quickly brushed away.

"IwassleepingwhenahugebangwokemeIfoundastrangecreaturelyingonthefloorbutIdidn'tgetagoodlookatitcomehelpme!" She said, not taking a breath. The dragon was stunned, but for a different reason.

"Wow, I only thought Pinkie could talk that fast." The lavender mare stared in exasperation, moaned, then grabbed the drake in her magic and pulled him down the stairs. "Hey! I'm sorry! Put me down!" he shouted in retaliation, but was quickly silenced by the sight before him. "What is that thing?" He asked, Twilight setting him down

"I don't know Spike," She replied, taking a few cautious steps towards it. when it didn't react she moved to it's side. It was large with a shock of orange hair on it's head but nowhere else. Spike picked up the orb at it's face, offering it to his big sister. Her horn lit up to lift the object but was surprised when she couldn't. "What the? I can't lift it!" She said in shock. Spike looked at the orb, tossing it from claw to claw. She was fascinated by the sphere, but grew concerned about the creature. She preformed a scanning spell and noticed that it was in perfect health, by pony standards anyway. She levitated the creature to the couch and gently lay it on said piece of furniture.

She took the orb from her assistant and placed into the box containing the elements. "Spike, take a letter." She asked in practiced tones. He whipped out a scroll and quill from nothing and waited for her to speak.

Dear Princess Celestia

A few minutes ago, a strange creature appeared in my library with a large bang, like a thunderclap. It is tall and lanky, with odd clothes covering most of it's body with appendages similar to Spike's claws. It arrived with a strange white orb that I couldn't affect with my magic. I await your quick reply and action.

-Your Faithful Student

Twilight Sparkle

"Twi-light Spar-kle. Done!" As he said this, Spike blew green fire over the now-rolled scroll and it was whisked away as dust on the wind. Twilight's attention shifted from the baby dragon as a moan came from the creature and it shifted. She tensed, preparing for if it awoke. But it never came. The creature had a troubled look on it's face. Nightmares. she concluded. She created magical bonds around it's arms and legs and picked up the sagging Spike. After a quick trip up the stairs she placed Spike in his basket and she collapsed, exhausted, on her own bed. Her body was tired but her mind was racing... What is that thing?

Author's Note:

My fourth attempt at starting a story. The others fizzled and died... Constructive criticism is appreciated and errors are easily fixed when I am notified of them. Happy reading!

Comments

[Frostfire the Shadow]

Cool story!

[Braumeister]

I'm giving this a chance for the simple reason that you haven't pissed me off yet. I'm not fond of Brony in Equestria stories, in fact I can say with a certain amount of truth that I tend to despise them. Unlike Human in Equestria stories where maybe 10% are enjoyable, a BiE story is closer to 1% if that. However you've piqued my interest. It's now up to you to maintain it.

Some issues I have and they're more nitpicking than anything else. You have too many sentence fragments. Every sentence needs a subject and a verb and you have many that don't. I understand if this is a more stylistic choice but I'm just saying and laying this out there. There's also a minor issue, in a way linked to the one prior, where there's no cohesion between your sentences. Like for example:

The air was powerful. Fluid, yet solid when forced into movement.

I know what you mean and I know what it is you're going for here but from a literary POV you're making a huge error. The sentence. "The air was powerful." is fine but it's when you add, "Fluid, yet solid when forced into movement." you've got a problem. I forget the term but you need a link between the subject of the previous sentence, that being the air, and the fact that it's fluid.

[Washingtonian]

4688922

Yes, I definitely agree with you.

To Eternal Stability (or the author): I notice this glaring error:

It was still intact. Well. As intact as a ruined 16th century Scottish hamlet could be.

They are unnecessary and incorrect periods. Either you do this:

It was still intact, if not, as intact as a ruined 16th century Scottish hamlet.

or

It was still intact, well, as intact as a ruined 16th century Scottish hamlet.

I advise that you remove "could be" as its unnecessary. Just "ruined 16th century Scottish hamlet" would be good.

[Eternal Stability]

4688940 thanks for the input guys, as I said, new author. Fixed and modified, I just hope the rest of the story is error-free.

[Washingtonian]

4688968

Here's one last error I could find:

Never pick up an artefact. They are always trapped

It should be...

Never pick up an artifact. They are always trapped

[Eternal Stability]

4688974
Again, thanks. I strive to be better!

[Exia01]

I like the opening. One problem though just a small quibble really.

Britain doesn't get hurricanes. Unless magic is involved.

[Eternal Stability]

4692160 you should know by now that magic is always involved...

[Exia01]

4692298
Called it.
Me - 1, Magic - 0

[Hawkx1]

I'm just liking the fact that Twilight notices that hands look like claws so many HiE stories seem to forget that

[seven sins of virtue]

Can't wait to see how this plays out.

[Washingtonian]

4692160

Britain doesn't get hurricanes. Unless magic is involved.

Britain, while rare, can suffer from cyclones. The Great Storm of 1987 is a perfect example of Britain getting a rare hurricane, or in this case, cyclone.

thepolitesse.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/The-More-You-Know.png

[Exia01]

4710798
Fair enough. You do learn something new every day

[Anyne]

in it's quest to sustain itself.

to it's side

roubled look on it's face

In case you didn't pay attention in school:

It's - Short for "it is"
Its - Possessive pronoun