Just A Mere Aspirant To Become An OverLord And Fic Writer And A Video Game Creator.
After reading about a legendary treasure hidden in a forgotten pyramid, Spike gets a chance to have his own hoard...that's it if he survives against the dangers deep inside. SLIGHT AU! Spike X Princess Shokora. MLP X WarioLand 4 CrossOver!
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Now, your story is not the best I've seen on this site. But I have a few things to go over with you. First of all, I am Radioactive_Rainboom and I write/review stories. And your story, has been chosen to be reviewed by me. So, no more holding back, here it is.
You have an author's note box, but I see you have used it to fill with useless things that don't matter with copyright issues.
What it should be:
Now, look at the difference.
Also before I continue, Prologue/Chapter 0
Really? Who does a Chapter 0? If it was only a Prologue then I would leave this part alone. But seeing that you've placed it as a complete and obvious mistake, I can't really miss it.
IPonyvilleI
&
|Everfree Forest|
These are not necessary....and the never will be..
Narrative to Speech and vice versa.
Really? The narrative part of the story shouldn't be in speech, but italic font. It makes it look better if you know how to use it. 
I'm gonna close this here, you might want to check over the things that I have listed in this comment. And what ever you do. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE don't make have to come back !!!!
Regards
R_R
4660421 Good question.
4661047 First off, there is no hard criticism involved in what I wrote. Something called pointers are the use of them. The reason why I was writing in that sort of mood if for many reasons.
1. Talking some sense into the author.
2. Making sure that they see everyone else's point of view and realise what mistakes they have made, in order to fix them.
Before anything else becomes of this comment section too, this was no reason of hate. This question could just make matters worse and this answer, of course. Helps you think about the question, this answer and anything else involved in the conversation.
I do think that you understand the meaning if this answer and it doesn't make matters worse for us, the author and the site itself.
Regards
R_R
Raidoactive_Rainboom
I didn't think you put that toad Jiraiya in here! Plus call a hospital for Jiraiya and Discord.
The fact that a WL4 crossover exists makes me happy, but there are a few glaring errors in the fic:
Get rid of this entire line. It not only flows poorly with what was constructed in the story, but it states what is obviously known and just tells rather than shows.
You might want to change around the wording to something like this:
Not only is it an interesting tag, but it also gives some insight into how Spike feels through a narrative perspective.
Those are the ones that come upon first sight.
scare