Teased Tickled and Tortured

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Comments ( 8 )

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Mooncalf

Mooncalf #1 · Jul 2nd, 2014 · 3 · ·

Hmm, a cute read. A decent, if somewhat simplistic, setup. Intent to tease and play rather than hurt, which helps forgive Trixie for her actions so she doesn't come off as a complete villain. Well-written, properly descriptive.

On the other hand, anthropomorphism feels like a cop-out. These are ponies, after all, and they should be able to be intimate as is. (Particularly as they are both powerful unicorns; the use of inventive magic in sex has so much potential but is rarely explored.) Also, I would have preferred a framing device with them being their actual selves rather than generic school students - it would have given a deeper emotional impact. You did an excellent job of bringing out the emotion in Blood Boil, so it's definitely not beyond your skill.

Not bad, but as you say yourself, you could do better. I hope to see it someday.

RarityEQM

RarityEQM #2 · Jul 2nd, 2014 · 2 · ·

4630518

I treasure your compliments, as always, Moonie. This is, of course, based off of a picture (NSFW http://www.furaffinity.net/view/13851227/) that I got to watch being created. During the drawing, I started writing little quips about what would be happening, and Caroo and I decided to collaborate.

And so we did. Simplistic set up, and very quick to get the 'point' you see. Nothing too fancy, or elaborate, just some very erotic tickling. And, no, I can't really see Trixie being the sort of 'antagonist' that wants to hurt ponies. She's brash, full of herself, and loves to show boat...but she's not sadistic...at least MY version of Trixie isn't- Ergo twilight's relief when she realized it was Trixie that had kidnapped her. (Also when Trixie breaks character and asks if Twilight's alright. Had Twilight done anything other than nod, I wanted to give the feel that Trixie might have let her go right then and there)

Mooncalf

Mooncalf #3 · Jul 2nd, 2014 · 3 · ·

She's brash, full of herself, and loves to show boat...but she's not sadistic...at least MY version of Trixie isn't- Ergo twilight's relief when she realized it was Trixie that had kidnapped her.

Yeah, we're on the same page there. She can be nice when she wants to, she just takes personal slights seriously. She's the sort of person who expects others to play by her rules and will almost always try to exact revenge when she feels she has been treated unfairly, but doesn't go around harassing others unnecessarily. (Which is why it irks me when in some fanfics she's picked on and just takes it - I have to ask "Wait, did we skip the scene where she takes immediate revenge?") I've known plenty of people like that (and I am one to some degree) so it's not a difficult characterization to portray.

(Also when Trixie breaks character and asks if Twilight's alright. Had Twilight done anything other than nod, I wanted to give the feel that Trixie might have let her go right then and there)

I noticed that, and I approve. It goes a long way towards establishing this as play and not abuse, which is important. I detest abusive content.

Tome