12 - Surprise
The morning sunlight awakened Twilight in Discord's arms. Even though they had been outside the entire time, the magic of friendship had kept her warm.
"Ah, good morning, sleepyhead." he said. "Are you ready to go home?"
As much as she was having a good time, she couldn't lie to herself. She was tired and hungry and really needed to clean up. And she couldn't leave her other friends and Spike alone forever. "Yeah, sure."
"What does it take for you to teleport?"
"I have to have been there before so I can visualize its location in my mind."
"So can you teleport both of us right now... to Canterlot Castle?"
"Uh... yes."
"Great, so let's go!"
Discord held on to the goose with one hand and onto Twilight with the other. "I'm ready."
Twilight concentrated on Canterlot and in a moment there was a burst of magic and when she opened her eyes they were standing in front of the Celestia's throne.
"Well that certainly took you long enough..." she said, sipping a cup of tea.
"It was hard," Twilight said, "but we finally got the goose."
Celestia looked surprised. "Oh, really? Well... wow. Good job."
"What's wrong?" Discord asked. "Didn't you say you wanted it?"
"Well, I sort of expected you to give up and come home. I sent you a message to come home but I don't think you received it. I didn't believe you would actually find it. That's... amazing."
"Then why did you send us to find it?" Twilight asked.
"Because it was..."
Princess Luna interrupted by bursting out of a doorway in tears. "It was so sad. He didn't want to go, but he had to." Then she realized that Twilight and Discord were there and quickly regained composure. "Oh, um, we have come to join the discussion."
"Anyway," Celestia continued. "I was about to say..."
Twilight's friends and Spike rushed in through the front door. "Hey, Twilight!" they said in unison.
Celestia looked nervous. "Don't you see we are not ready yet?"
They looked at the princess and then sheepishly backed out the door.
"Princess, what is going on?" the unicorn asked.
"Oh, well, I feel bad for missing your birthday party a few months ago and so I figured there were many ponies that have never really gotten a chance to meet you or thank you for saving them time and time again so..." she paused for dramatic effect. "We threw you a party!"
"SURPRISE!" shouted thousands of voices. The room was suddenly full of ponies from all over Equestria. Confetti rained down over the entire room and streamers were lined all along the walls. A large banner with Twilight's name and face on it hung from the ceiling.
"But... how did you do it?"
"Well, it took several days of preparation," Celestia said, "even with the help of your friend Pinkie Pie. So we needed to have you out of the way for a while. That's why we sent you on a wild goose chase."
"So... it was all for nothing?" Twilight looked crestfallen.
"We think not." Luna protested. She approached Twilight and lovingly took the goose. "We have always been more attached to this thing than they."
Twilight was now approached by her other friends. They glowered at Discord until he became uncomfortable and walked away. He left the castle as ponies booed. Twilight wished everypony could treat him a little better, and she wondered how she was going to be able to explain their new friendship to them.
"Hey, Twilight, are you having fun?" Pinkie asked, unable to control her excitement.
"Oh, yeah, it's nice..." she muttered.
"Well I hope you have fun, sugarcube," Applejack said, "because we have a lot of stuff to get you caught up on."
"Like uh, in the Everfree Forest..." Fluttershy began quietly.
"In the Everfree Forest, there's a problem that Zecora is having trouble with!" Rainbow Dash shouted, "And..."
"Rainbow!" Applejack cried, "Why didn't you let Fluttershy speak?"
"Twilight, dear, when was the last time you've showered?" Rarity asked, completing ignoring the others arguing. "You look absolutely dreadful!"
Twilight then turned her attention to Spike. He didn't say a single word to her. He just smiled because he was happy to have her back home.
Then she suddenly remembered how hungry she was. She walked over to a food table to find something to eat, while trying to push away the drowsiness and ignore the crowds of ponies wanting to talk to her.
She really wanted to find Discord and spend some more time with him, but she was patient. For now, she socialized with the other ponies. She heard all the newest stories from Cheerilee's class, the Cutie Mark Crusader's ideas of things to do to get their cutie marks, all the parties that Rarity's friends in Canterlot were inviting her to, and the dilemma in the Everfree Forest that she was eventually going to have to fix with her friends.
The party died down by the end of the day, and although she was extremely tired, she did admit that she had had some fun.
As she had expected, Twilight found Discord standing outside the castle by himself. A she approached him, she noticed he didn't look very happy. "What's wrong?"
"I don't know."
"Why don't you come inside?"
Discord followed Twilight inside. The whole place was messy from the party and only Celestia was left.
"There's something that isn't right." he said softly.
"How bad is it?"
"I don't know... but I'm about to find out." he walked up to Celestia and bowed before her.
"Yes?" the princess asked.
"I apologize for taking your time, but I was wondering when you were going to keep your side of the deal."
The princess didn't respond. She just stared at him.
"The goose. You said if we found it and I protected Twilight, you would give me my own portion of Equestria to rule."
Celestia hesitated to answer. She wore an impenetrable poker face. Twilight suspected she knew what was going to happen and it scared her.
"Oh..." the princess finally spoke, with anger in her eyes. "I do remember that conversation."
"So will you honor your promise?" he pleaded.
"I would let you have it if there wasn't a certain little problem..." the princess said.
Discord looked puzzled. "What?"
"You and I both know that wouldn't be allowed to happen." Her horn glowed and discord was surrounded with light.
"NO!" he screamed.
The room was filled with bright white light. Twilight was petrified with horror. She silently screamed in her head. A great day had suddenly become the worst day of her life.
When she dared to open her eyes again, Discord was a stone statue on the floor with a look of fear etched into his face. She leaped to him and held his stony form with tears of anguish streaming from her eyes.
"WHY COULDN'T YOU JUST GIVE IT TO HIM?" Twilight shouted at the princess, whom she once looked up to. She didn't know how this could be possible.
"Somehow I knew this would end badly, but I didn't know you would actually become his friend."
"TELL ME WHY!"
"Because he cannot be trusted! He and his species have been the enemy of ponykind of thousands of years and there is nothing that can change that!"
"BUT HE'S CHANGED!" she protested, never feeling so angry before in her life.
"Since you joined up with him, you've lost the element of magic. I sensed it the moment you returned. Letting you go with him was one of the biggest mistakes I've ever made. Now do you see what becoming his friend has done to you?" She lightly tugged at Twilight with magic to have her let go of the statue. Then she noticed something Discord was holding in his stone hand. It was that dusty gem that he got from the island.
"Ah, the chaos crystal..." Celestia remarked. "I thought you went to that island just to kill some time, but it looks like you actually did find it there." She shot a beam of light from her horn that shattered it into dust. "If he had decided to use it then I'm not sure if the Elements of Harmony would even be strong enough to stop him."
Twilight turned and ran out of the castle in tears.
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Chapter 12 Author Commentary
I can see you all right now, getting your guns ready to come after me.
If I ended it like this, I would have to mark it as a sadfic and everypony would hate me forever.
But it is not the last chapter. There is still one more. I was thinking about combining it with this one but then that would take away all the suspense/fun! (Also, it sort of sounds better when its read by itself.) 
I will probably post the final chapter after Hearth's Warming Eve premieres to make sure all of my chapters are edited nicely and the facts match up well enough with the canon.
Just a few things I've noticed...
"Anway," Celestia continued. "I was about to say..." - Anyway?
"Rainbow!" Applejack cried. Why didn't you let Fluttershy speak?" - Missed a " there.
"But not she only saw an enemy." - Now?
Right, that's out of the picture...
(And Luna can help too, cuz, you know... everypony loves Luna)
Well, that was a plot twist... The only thing that will make me forgive you now is Twilight starting an uprising, winning and turning Trollestia into stone while making Discord the new ruler of Equestria FOREVER!
But in all seriousness - loved the chapter. An interesting and sudden change of mood of the story. You were not joking when you said you saved the best for last, which leads me to believe that the grand finale will indeed be grand!
69393
Fixed them. What would I do without you?
Anyway, if anyone still remembered the title of the story then something similar to this could not have been hard to predict. (Or maybe I just have no idea what I'm talking about. That's what readers are good for, they correct your incorrect ideas.)
69399
Personally, I just thought you used the "The Wild Goose Chase" metaphor in it's literal meaning for comedy effect, but now that you pointed it out I realized that it indeed went deeper and fooled me with it's innocent appearance. Or maybe it was the other way around... I went so deep that I missed the point on the surface? Now I'm confused...
69393
" The only thing that will make me forgive you now is Twilight starting an uprising, winning and turning Trollestia into stone while"
Yeah! I like to see Twilight start a rebellion in the next chapter.
Best be some happy ending in here son
I'm sorry, but either I'm missing something, or the quality of this story just took a major nosedive. First of all, this feels very, very rushed. There's little build up to the twist. Secondly, if Celestia didn't trust Discord all along, why would she let Twilight go off with him, especially considering she's part of the weapon she needs to defeat him? Would she really be so thoughtless? Why would she even trust him to behave at a party? And I haven't seen any mention of what Discord was doing free in the first place. How did he get out of the stone prison? And why the hell would Celestia kick Twilight out of the palace instead of, say, comforting her? They were celebrating her birthday minutes before for fucks sake. It's like a mother-daughter relationship they have going. I get it that you're aiming for tyrant Trollestia here, but at least try to keep her somewhat in character. Finally, you should plan your stories ahead of time instead of letting canon take over. Yeah, it won't match the in show mythology, but at least the story has a better chance of being coherent.
69602
Ok, this will be kind of hard to explain...
- I'm sorry it feels rushed. I didn't know of any details to add that wouldn't just look like I was trying to waste the reader's time.
- This is a bit strange. Celestia wanted Twilight to be out of Equestria to plan all of the party. She knew Discord wouldn't do anything bad because she made him an offer he couldn't refuse. He wanted freedom so badly that he had to act well. I don't know what made her think that was a good idea (but it made for a very entertaining story at first) and she deeply regrets it.
- In The Return of Harmony, Celestia said she put a "spell" on Discord to turn him to stone. Wouldn't she be able to reverse it and free him? IDK, that's just what I thought. I'm curuous what excuse other Discord stories use?
- Celestia didn't think turning Discord back to stone would hurt Twilight becuase she didn't think she would become his friend. The princess didn't want to hurt Twilight but it was her royal duty to keep Equestria safe. (Once again, I can't think of a reason why she released him in the first place except he had a lot of magical power to keep Twilight safe.)
- Twilight was very distressed and you don't want to see a raging unicorn. She needed some time alone in private to relax.
69602
And because I can't edit comments...
I did plan the whole story out ahead of time. What I meant about waiting for the new episode is that there are a few details that are not too important to the plot that I want to make sure are correct otherwise future readers will think it will look strange.
why does everyone think discord is evil? he just wants a little fun after all what would you do if you were trapped in stone for thousands of years?
Wait... Celestia isn't a great friend of the elements, she's like someone they respect and fear at the same time. So they aren't bonded in true friendship. So the Elements could not have worked.
Or it might just cause temporary banishment.
70450
Well at first he did rule Equestria in chaos and unrest and made all ponies everywhere miserable.
70700
Celestia is still a good princess, she just can't trust Discord for any reason. That would be dangerous.
69802
1. "I don't know what made her think this was a good idea." Then neither does the reader. It's very OoC for someone with as much foresight as Celestia to do things so risky without a very good reason. Birthday parties are awesome, but not good reasons. There are times when it's good to keep the reader guessing as to the motivations of the characters. This is not one of them. Celestia is a well-established character whose motivations are clear within the cartoon. Doing something so blatantly contradictory to what we know about her nature is like creating a beautiful garden (the story) and then placing a big pile of steaming crap (the OoC moment) in the middle of it. It's very distracting. It would've been fine if you had kept up the comedic, ridiculous aspects of the story, but you changed the tone of the story so quickly and made Trollestia deadly serious that it just doesn't fit together. Also, why would she send Twilight with Discord anyways? Why not one of her friends, who would be in on the birthday plot?
2. I have only bothered reading one other Discord story (the one where Twilight and him switch powers), and in that one, it takes place in an alt. universe where the greyed-out Rainbow Dash does show up the first time they use the Elements of Harmony of Discord. It doesn't involve anyone purposely freeing him.
3. You can't think of reason or you're just too lazy to? What the hell happened to the imagination you were using so well three chapters ago?
4. So instead of sending Twilight to her room where they can have a meaningful talk, Celestia forcefully ejects her from the palace. I don't know about you, but that would piss me off even more. Additionally, an enraged Twilight would easily be able to overpower a few guards. She was able to move tons of stone around in the Mare-Do-Well episode with little effort in a very stressful situation.
5. Half the FiM fanfics out there already defy canon, so it's not like your story would be out of place. It's a natural consequence of creating a story out of an existing fictional universe that hasn't been fully established yet. Not following future canon will not make it less entertaining.
Also, another plot hole: Celestia knows that Twilight would go to any lengths to please her teacher. In Lesson Zero, Twilight made a problem up so she could satisfy Celestia and Celestia witnessed the chaos firsthand. Did Celestia, who's known Twilight since Twilight was little, really think she would just "give up?" Honestly, if there was no goose to return to the sun goddess, Twilight would probably make a goose.
Keep in mind, I'm not being an obnoxious nitpicker just to annoy you. I'm doing it because I was really enjoying the story and I want to see a well-written conclusion and for you to succeed as a writer.
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh bring back discord!
70854
Allriiiight time to raise a shield in the Author's name!
)
(However, before I get to the meat of this post I'll simply remind that this will mostly be opinion, rather then fact
First point - "Celestia is a well-established character whose motivations are clear within the cartoon." I would slightly disagree on both fronts, her being well-established and her motivations being clear.
"
As an example to back it up, taking the same Discord - "Hey, I got this statue of an ancient god of Chaos... hmmm what should I do with it? Oh I know! I'll stick it in the garden so all the kids can have fun with it
A similar "trollestia" moment happens during the Grand Galloping Gala, since she invited the main six knowing they would destroy the whole thing and even openly admits it.
Another situation was with her pet Phoenix. She knew the bird looked bad, and she probably knew nopony even realized what phoenixes are, yet she took her to the party in the bird's worst possible condition.
There were other moments in the cartoon that support the "trollestia" personality, hence the fandom exploits the image so much and why I find it hard to judge her behavior, since I've seen quite a variety of personalities that other writers gave her (and all those worked quite fine) - from a Tyrant and a Princess who's trying to entertain herself, to a Loving sister and motherly character.
Regarding the "enraged Twilight overpowering guards" and moving stones in Mare-Do-Well... Well nothing solid here. Only guesses would be that
a) As Celestia mention, Twilight lost her element of magic (which kinda made me raise an eyebrow as to how Celestia was able to control the element even if it left Twilight), thus weakening her magical potential.
b) Moment of mental instability. I suppose seeing your new friend back-stabbed by someone who was like a mother to you would leave you in quite a shock. And I am guessing casting some advanced magic requires quite a bit of concentration.
As for ejecting Twilight from the palace rather then locking her up in a room... well... here I'll have to give up. Only vague reasons I might see is that Celestia thought it would do even more damage if she "imprisoned" her and wanted to give her time to cool off or perhaps she didn't want her to do something rash on Palace grounds (Like trying to free Discord and get killed by the Royal Guard in the process).
Another thing that I simply can not explain is the other 5 elements siding with Celestia. For some reason I think they would pick Twilight over her, considering that one of the elements is loyalty
.
Well... that's pretty much all I could answer (more like speculate
) as a reader. Eager to see if the next chapter(s?) support any of my wild guesses 
.
70973
This story have a happy ending.
70854
70988
Alright, this story really wasn't my best work (I sort of lost my touch somehow three or so years ago. That's why I've been writing pony stories for some more practice.) I just thought having a story about Discord and Twilight forced to work together was so funny, that I built a cheesy story around it.
I'm thinking about revising chapter 12... a lot.
Thank you for trying to clarify Feren, sometimes I do things because it sounds better in my head, and I forget about how it could be confusing to the readers.
I guess the part about Twilight getting hauled away at the end was nothing but a mistake. I did that mostly for dramatic effect as it made the situation seem much more dire.
71315
Don't let us grumpy readers get your spirits down!
I've said it before and I'll say it again - I love the story
Ha! Guns are for panzies! But for your sake this better end in laughs and sunshine now or theres going to be a panzer tank at your door.
70789 no I meant Celestia isn't a true friend of the mane six
Chapter 12 has been revised! If anyone rereads it, I would like to know how you feel about it. Is it better?
72440
Honestly I got mixed feelings and in more then one way.
First of all I am not sure at what point I would cross the line between "giving feedback" and "telling you how to write your story".
It did improve in general, removing some of the stuff that stood out as odd, so that's a plus.
However (And here is the intrusion on my part begins, which I dislike), I still don't understand how Celestia was able to use the Elements of Harmony on her own, without their bearers present... not to mention use them at all! My memory might be clouded by tons of fanfics I read so the following statement might not be correct:
Wasn't it stated at some point that Celestia lost the ability to use the Elements after banishing Nightmare Moon?
Of course - nowhere in the chapter does it directly state that she used the Elements to reseal him but the line;
"If he had decided to use it then I'm not sure if the Elements of Harmony would even be strong enough to stop him."
strongly implies that she did.
On the other hand - if she did not use the Elements, then where did she get the extra power in order to seal him on her own, considering she was literally useless during his first escape?
I suppose the explanation that when she freed him for this mission only unsealed a fraction of his powers would work. (Apologies if this was actually stated in the earlier chapters, but I can't seem to recall if it was or wasn't addressed)
Sorry for being on the attacking side this time but giving you my honest (and humble
) opinion was the best option I could think of.
72474
Warning: The following explaination may be confusing.
She did not use the elements. She used a "spell" that she mentioned in The Return of Harmony which sealed Discord in stone for the first time. If he was a threat, then the spell wouldn't have worked and only the Elements of Harmony would defeat him. I think they only work to dispel evil and chaos and don't work as a weapon for other reasons so that's why I removed them from that chapter completely and replaced it with the spell.
Anyway, I'm glad that you think it was improved some.
43437
You know, I don't know of any stories like that on here, but I've seen two on FanFiction.net that might interest you. I don't know if you've read them before, but if not, here you go.
The first one is called "Fascination" by Kotego. Basically, Discord surprises Twilight by breaking free of his stone prison at the expense of his more chaotic powers and shows her how fascinated he is with her. It's been a while since it's been updated, but it looks like it has potential from what I've seen.
The second is called "DiscoLight Time" by FanFreedom. This one is really good, especially if you like cute Twilight/Discord moments. The gist of it is that Discord ponynaps Twilight and the other girls have to try to rescue her.
I don't know about "Fascination", but it seems like "DiscoLight Time" is starting to develop into a two-sided story between the two. The only real dark moment I've seen in "DL Time" is in the most recent chapter, when Twilight tries to escape from Discord on her own. Like I said, I don't know if you're already familiar with either of these, but if not, I hope this helps you.
Please forgive me for not having the last chapter out yet! It's mostly written, but it looks really cheesy so I'm trying to fix it to make it look better. I want it to end well (and I'm sure you want it to end well too).