Faith was another girl that fate was not kind to. Her friends were all victims of such circumstances as well. However, they were bound together by such pain as well, and were no longer alone. Faith could never ask for better people in her life, even with the lonely life she thought she had to lead.
However, the rollercoaster that was fate was about to take new loop. When a freaky storm completely turns their lives upside down, they find themselves in a place that no one would expect: Equestria. Now in a land where happiness is a commonplace, they will find themselves on a journey that will help them grow, make new friends, and, hopefully, find that happy ending they've always read about.
Chapters (10)
Oh, this is interesting. Keep going!
...
Good thing all the characters have names that SEAMLESSLY fit into pony names.
*Coughcoughsarcasmcoughcough*
Overall, this doesn't seem half bad. It was a bit exposition-heavy in the first 2 chapters, but the rest made up for it.
I expect some nice things to come out of this eventually, but until then...
i.imgur.com/bYRGX.gif
Keep writing.
Oh, now we are starting to know about Faith's backstory, cool!
Continue
Eyes look constantly shut and black hair (jughead jones much
You've got a very good story going on here, one that I'm looking forward to progressing. The former human characters are good, though I have to admit their personalities are a little too cut and paste off of the mane six. Thankfully, they are more dilute than the originals, making the cut and paste thing more easy to overlook. I have nothing against the names, but I feel that they transitioned into pony names a little too well. A few of them like this would have been okay, but all of them? However, do not presume that this negative I see means I do not like the way this story is going. Your writing is great, though I noticed some minor errors here and there, but those are easy fixes and easy to ignore. I won't call the group's method of entry into Equestria cliché, as to be honest, I think every possible method of getting into the world has been done to death at this point, and I will give you credit for making it a little different this time around. Most of the times there are storms involved it's usually a lightning strike that sends the party involved dimension hopping, so kudos to you.
Another thing I liked about your story so far is the descriptiveness. You're giving the readers a great mental picture with the way you're describing the background. Although you could stand to be a little more detailed in places, that's just another minor detail. I've read and enjoyed far worse, so this is really good. Overall this story has a great plotline so far, has good grammar and spelling, and is very vivid to the mind's eye, pretty much everything that makes a good fic. You got yourself a like and fave, and I hope to see more soon.
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Thank you for the critique. I'll keep writing to the best of my ability. I'll be sure to show the characters to be unique in their own way in the coming chapters.
Hmm, a good chapter, but it needs editing. There were a couple of places you put a word in that didn't need to be there, or you left a word out. Other than that, it was a great chapter, I can't wait to see the group's interaction with the rest of the mane six.
What do you mean by gone?! Oh boy, thinks are getting more complicated!
WELP, chances of getting home are now ultimately crushed. Might as well stop by the nearest official Equestrian Census office and register your existence, cause they are going to be there for all eternity...
Moar?