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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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How similar will this story be to Project Horizons? Maybe it's because I've interacted with Interloper,(and a few other guys whose names I can't remember) but I've heard some bad things about that story, mostly about it being way to needlessly dark and edgy. I love a good dark fic, but even I have my limits. Still, I don't see a tragedy tag.
7241446
As always, I am thankful for your suggestions and insights. Hopefully I can make this a lot better on the second pass I'm planning for the story up to this point in a few months.
I will admit that Jackboot's 'face heel turn' back to the lighter side comes off a little more rushed than I would have liked. It just wasn't something I felt needed to be explored over the course of another 50k words, as he has essentially already been on this path for a while now. After all, prior to McMaren, he had long since been at the point where he was willing to go against those ingrained instincts of his where Windfall was concerned. This was essentially his last little bit of recovery as he once more returned to that state, and even perhaps went a little further past where he had been. I'll see what can be done to smooth it out.
On the Timberwolves: yeah...they were 'shoehorned' into the chapter, after a fashion. The trip through the hospital couldn't be a cakewalk; this is the Wasteland, after all. I also didn't want to use anything mundane for it like ghouls, or radroaches, or raiders. Timberwolves were something I didn't remember from other FO:E fics that I'd read, and so I figured I'd throw them in and see how it went. So far, I like what I think I can do with them, and nothing says that they can't come back later. I'm sure there were more than two of them left in the world...
I will work on adopting a trope other than '11th hour weakness exploit' in the future. I try to limit them to surprise opponents that the protagonists have never encountered before; as, to my mind, they wouldn't know how to go about fighting such threats that first time, and so would be scrambling to stay a step ahead until they finally found something that worked. I'll explore other avenues in the future.
7241477
'Something's Got To Give' will likely be the high point (or low, as the case may be) of this story in terms of uncomfortable instances. Both from a literary standpoint of: the scene involved has served the purpose of finally bringing Jackboot to the breaking point he needed in order to actually start to 'embrace' a different way of life; and from a personal standpoint of: that scene took me literally a month to write, because I couldn't do it for more than 15-30 minutes at a time...
I'm not saying there won't be future instances of blood, death, gore, and so on, because there will; but I can't see the narrative going quite this dark again.
Believed
Mistake