And so, the 4th chapter concludes The Mansion. I hope that everyone everypony enjoyed reading as much as I had fun writing it. Sadly, I have a very important test coming up, and I shall have to go into extreme-test-taking-study mode until May 5. This means no creative writing of any kind. Well, that's pretty much it! Goodnight (well, it's night here - so good morning/afternoon if you live in a different time zone)!
My mind...is full of fuck right now! That song reference! Celestia, really? I thought you were better than this! Now you are just killing everypony because they couldn't accept their weakness!
Interesting ending, up to the Twilight part it was expected. The Celestia part was alright.(it was out of nowhere but it didn't ruin anything that was established and did (even if barly) manage to glue the story lines together)
The ending is kinda tragic, Fluttershy never understood that she actully HAD gained the friendship she had wanted.(I guess that brainwash really backfired for Twi.(or well Celestia, but she doesn't care))
Overall the by far most tragic characters managed to be RD and Pinkie, both being "good" but managing to trust the wrong pony... though RD's last words (at least which we heard directly) make her death even more tragic I think.
Overall it was nice enough, the execution of the premise really wasnt that stellar,(to be blunt) not that I would consider it "bad" or anything but it was severly hurt by being way to short for the style of story it is. The gore while I am not againt gore was a bit of a hit and miss, I know why you used it and to with effect but I think a better author could have found other ways to reach the same goals more subtle. I am not hating on you or your story btw, I read it and I liked it. The premise was nice and managed to carry the story well enough, just voicing some feedback. Overall I still gave it a thumps up.( 3.5 maybe 4 stars if stars would still exist.)
And so, the 4th chapter concludes The Mansion. I hope that everyone everypony enjoyed reading as much as I had fun writing it. Sadly, I have a very important test coming up, and I shall have to go into extreme-test-taking-study mode until May 5. This means no creative writing of any kind. Well, that's pretty much it! Goodnight (well, it's night here - so good morning/afternoon if you live in a different time zone)!
My mind...is full of fuck right now! That song reference! Celestia, really? I thought you were better than this! Now you are just killing everypony because they couldn't accept their weakness!
Wonderful story!
"The true victim was friendship."
lol just like i said. last time.
Interesting ending, up to the Twilight part it was expected. The Celestia part was alright.(it was out of nowhere but it didn't ruin anything that was established and did (even if barly) manage to glue the story lines together)
The ending is kinda tragic, Fluttershy never understood that she actully HAD gained the friendship she had wanted.(I guess that brainwash really backfired for Twi.(or well Celestia, but she doesn't care))
Overall the by far most tragic characters managed to be RD and Pinkie, both being "good" but managing to trust the wrong pony... though RD's last words (at least which we heard directly) make her death even more tragic I think.
Overall it was nice enough, the execution of the premise really wasnt that stellar,(to be blunt) not that I would consider it "bad" or anything but it was severly hurt by being way to short for the style of story it is. The gore while I am not againt gore was a bit of a hit and miss, I know why you used it and to with effect but I think a better author could have found other ways to reach the same goals more subtle. I am not hating on you or your story btw, I read it and I liked it. The premise was nice and managed to carry the story well enough, just voicing some feedback. Overall I still gave it a thumps up.( 3.5 maybe 4 stars if stars would still exist.)