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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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The story idea seems original enough, but i feel as if i've heard of it before... I would love to see the continuation of this story.
I think I know who dun did it. It's kinda like that movie "Shrooms" or "Mushrooms"(I forget). The following paragraph contains spoilers. you've been warned. Just skip it if you don't want any.
These friends go out in the woods to go camping, but mainly to find and do shrooms. The protaginist(?) ate this weird black shroom that's supposed to be I think poisonus(it's been awhile since I've seen it.) but she doesn't die. Then all her friends start dying one by one around her. At the end we find out that SHE'S the killer because the shrooms made her have phycotic murderous episodes which came and went. Kinda like a alter ego, or a split personality like the main character from Manhunt 2.
So my theory is that it's Twilight, but that it's not really her. More like it's a alter ego or a split personality. Or maybe the mansion holds bad memories for her and she flips out, like in "Lesson Zero". I only say that cause of the hallucinations(?) that she saw before she passed out and had the out of body experience. Please nopony sue for all the refrences.
424711 I saw a movie like that! It's about girl who bring home her college friend and one by one the family turns up dead except the friend. The friend keeps seeing a van driving past with a fat guy driving it. That's who the friend thinks it was! But in the end, it was actually her killing the family!
It was either
or 
PINKIE NOO!! NOT PINIKE! Wait...what about Dashie?
This is the best idea! I'm surprised that I've not seen many fan fictions like this though.
it is quite obvious that BON-BON is the killer. all facts point to her.....
424770 Never seen that movie, could tell me what it's called. But, and i'm probaly gonna sound like an ass, could you explain why you think it's
,
, or 
. I gave a expanation of why it's probaly Twilight, whereas you just said it was one of them. If I sounded like an ass i'm sorry, but I'm curious as to why to you think it's one of them. And no it cant be Pinkie, she died remember. By the way that was the saddest part for me.
This reminds me of all those Warcraft 3/Starcraft 2 games where one person is the secret killer and has to somehow confince all the other players to murder each other or get enough of them on their own to kill them.(or at least so that he at some point can brute force win)
But better yet comparisant, this is kinda like "The Thing (from another world)"
I always loved those games(and said movie) and this story does quite well at bringing over that feeling of uncertainty, tracking it for sure.
I do agree with Ema Nekaf though, all leads show toward Twilight.(Also, BEFORE anyone had died it would have made sense for all 6 ponies to agree to stay toegether and assume that there is a 7th pony and you know... the whole "I am one of you" is a lie? I don't get why no one ever brought that up.(In the games(and movie) it kinda makes sense as it is established that the monster/killer takes the role of another person, but here we are just assuming the killer is one of the people)
I also think that at this point the ponies should start grouping up and not let themself get picked off one by one.
EDIT: Why is this story tagged "sex" though? I don't see any sex in it(and don't see it fitting in this setting either)
425222 It is kinda weird how once they hear one of them is a killer, they all split up. But they also need to find out who it is before they die of dehydration(You can go 30 days without food, but only 2 or 3 days without water)
First of all, I would like to thank everypony for reading and/or commenting to my fic!
, the first two will be the main focus in the next chapter.
's problem?
And now, I'll try to answer most of your questions and try not to spoil the storyline:
@Unending_Darkness: Expect this to continue for 2-3 chapters.
@FlimFlamBros.: Definitely
@Ema Nekaf and @Fluttershy.yay123: I've seen many movies like those psychological thrillers. I guess these stories share many of the same core plots. As for
@Sapare: I'm glad that you've thought of a 7th pony! The ponies are not willing to group together due to fear, but also because they themselves suffer from some sort of psychological distress. They are uncertain if there is anypony else, but they would rather trust in themselves rather than strangers. They could have banded together if it weren't for the deaths around them.
Possible Spoiler? The reason why this story is tagged sex will be revealed next chapter. Remember
Possible Spoiler? Overall, if there's one thing to ponder about while reading through the story is the circumstances these mares met. In the canon series, the mane six were all strangers to one another. They were fortunate to bond by supporting each other with their strengths and helping them through their weaknesses. However in this scenario, the same friends immediately turned against each other. They made little to no attempt to try and work together, and as a result their intrinsic flaws manifested itself through actions. So this raises the question? In the canon series, were the mane six true friends? Or did they just become friends out of necessity because of their situation?
HOLY SHIT!
. I feel sorry for Rainbow!
Why did she have to die?
Well i'm just glad that she made at least one friend before dieing.
I know that it's the ponies dying, but I think the real murder victim here............ is friendship
anyways great chapter as always, can't wait to see how this turns out.
P.S. BON-BON is still the killer
And so, the 4th chapter concludes The Mansion. I hope that everyone everypony enjoyed reading as much as I had fun writing it.
Sadly, I have a very important test coming up, and I shall have to go into extreme-test-taking-study mode until May 5. This means no creative writing of any kind
. Well, that's pretty much it! Goodnight (well, it's night here - so good morning/afternoon if you live in a different time zone)!
My mind...is full of fuck right now! That song reference!
Celestia, really? I thought you were better than this! Now you are just killing everypony because they couldn't accept their weakness! 
Wonderful story!
"The true victim was friendship."
lol just like i said. last time.
Interesting ending, up to the Twilight part it was expected. The Celestia part was alright.(it was out of nowhere but it didn't ruin anything that was established and did (even if barly) manage to glue the story lines together)
The ending is kinda tragic, Fluttershy never understood that she actully HAD gained the friendship she had wanted.(I guess that brainwash really backfired for Twi.(or well Celestia, but she doesn't care))
Overall the by far most tragic characters managed to be RD and Pinkie, both being "good" but managing to trust the wrong pony... though RD's last words (at least which we heard directly) make her death even more tragic I think.
Overall it was nice enough, the execution of the premise really wasnt that stellar,(to be blunt) not that I would consider it "bad" or anything but it was severly hurt by being way to short for the style of story it is. The gore while I am not againt gore was a bit of a hit and miss, I know why you used it and to with effect but I think a better author could have found other ways to reach the same goals more subtle. I am not hating on you or your story btw, I read it and I liked it. The premise was nice and managed to carry the story well enough, just voicing some feedback. Overall I still gave it a thumps up.( 3.5 maybe 4 stars if stars would still exist.)
Hey everypony. It's been a while since I've worked on this piece, but I decided to go over it and revise it. All the chapter have been updated for more flow and character development.
Oh, and also, I decided to only add stories to fimfiction.net after I've posted/edited them on fanfiction.net. I want to give you guys the best quality writing possible on the first try here.
I just read the description and all I have to ask is "Is this an amnesia the dark descent kind of thing or what?"
902787
Well, I've gotten a lot of comments asking me if this was based on Amnesia. The answer is no. I've never played Amnesia before, although I have seen snippets of it on Youtube.
Oh yes, I just read the first chapter and I can tell this is not based on Amnesia, but it is still pretty scary for whoever would be in that situation.
So the one that kills all the others is the one that escapes?
I'm having a really hard time trying to follow what Celestia is saying.
903110
Well the purpose of the last chapter is to allow the story to be open ended and for the reader to make their own interpretations. If you're asking what I believe...
One day Celestia asked Twilight Sparkle if she was ready to become a princess, but to do so she had to take a test. This test, called the Mansion, is how Celestia determines who is and is not strong enough to become the new ruler of the land. The test is intended for those who take it to overcome their own weaknesses, or 'monsters' inside of them. Twilight fell to her own 'monster', the secret insanity, which her friends help her overcome in the canon series (Lesson Zero). And so, because of another failure, Celestia will continue raise and gather potential candidates like Twilight by sending them away to learn about the 'magic of friendship' until she can find a new heir to the throne.
Twilight could have easily passed the test if the mane-six decided to work together instead of fighting each other. In the end, Celestia was disappointed because of her high hopes that somepony would finally pass the test. Of course, this places the legitimacy of Twilight's friendship in question. Did the mane-six just become friends in the canon series due to the necessity of saving the world? Would they otherwise have become friends if placed outside of this situation (like the story)?
Then again, the inscription that Luna reads 'the Mansion feeds the monster inside us all' suggests that the Mansion may be nothing more than a bloody battlefield where ponies slaughter each other for Celestia's entertainment. Thus, the 'monster' in that passage would be Celestia's bloodthirst.
...
903420... Oh... well thank you for the info.
903443
No prob. /)
SEASON 3 SPOILER (still relevant to the story, though)
Season 3
Twilight Sparkle has to take a test, and she's not prepared?
Something tells me that there was no "true" killer.