A Fallout and MLP junkie https://www.fimfiction.net/story/445019/fallout-equestria-lightning-strikes-twice
A brand new collab, this time with Metallica1147 on dA. The penguins get zapped to Equestria through a portal that Kowalski opened. The two groups must band together to save both of their universes from certain doom from 2 villains. Can they do it, or will both of the universes fall in the hands of the villains? Rating T to be safe.
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4772503 Could you at least tell me what you thought?
4772517
It's something I haven't seen before. You did okay with the dialogue and characterization, but you need a picture to catch the eye. If you're going to make your own character then don't start where you were. Start back to how the character was initiated into the squad don't just throw him out there. It's an okay start I just think you need to put more information in it. If you want any help just tell me, but right now I have to go do something with another story.
Till the next one
-R
4772555 He was already part of the squad. You'll need to read my earlier fanfics on my Fanfiction.net or my dA.
4773174
Some people may not want to go to the other site to read it, so I would reccomend giving some backround.
4773895 I'll try to post something about his background then.
4775244
Sounds good! If you want help with anything just tell me.
4775376 Could you share this too, if you don't mind? I want this to be read some more.
Love it so far! Can't wait for more!
5336836 It will be until after finals for me. I've got the next chapter partially edited.
5336847 Okie Dokie Lokie!
5336848 I am glad you like it through.
5336849
Hmm... well, since you asked for some advice I'll give it to ya. For starters, the main gist of the story is comprised of dialogue and multiple speakers going back and forth. You need some description to go along with this. Include what the setting looks like, what the penguins are doing (such as facial reactions and such). Another poor aspect is the fact that people who don't know about the Penguins of Madagascar will have a tough time following this story. You kind of dive right into it without any sort of proper pacing in mind. The story needs to slow down a bit, build up the action, and then eventually lead up to every major plot point. My advice to you is to fix your pacing issues and figure out a better way to introduce the crossover elements without alienating readers. Perhaps an editor or two can assist you if you search the site groups for one. Anyway, good luck!
good story, today me and my friends want to see penguins of madagascar movie it is funny
5338616 I edit it on my own. I don't want to ask anyone, not like anyone would say yes.
5339691 I'm glad you like the story. I'm gonna try to have the next chapter up by this weekend.
OMG ITS SKIPPER
5342475 It wouldn't be a MLP/PoM crossover without skipper.
5346728 Yay! Skipper
5349447 I'm planning on working on editing the next chapter this week, hopefully.
I say, this story is quite the catch!
6256837 Thanks. I'm gonna try my best to get the next chapter ready before I go back to college.
6257848
Its been 8 years....