• Member Since 20th Jun, 2015
  • offline last seen Aug 16th, 2018

NintendoBrony64


It's been a while since I've written fanfiction, so I wanted to give it another try. Constructive critisism is welcome.

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At the end of one of their usual adventures of rescuing Princess Peach from Bowser's clutches, the tables are turned when they are sent through a portal to a new world; Equestria. A new enemy appears and sends the Elements of Harmony, with the aid of the Mario Brothers, on another adventure to bring peace back to Equestria.

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 8 )

I like where this is going so far. Keep up the good work. :pinkiesmile:

Besides, if they lie I'll be able to call them out on it

I seriously don't understand why most fanfics gave Applejack a "Lie Detecting" ability. That sounds redundant. :rainbowhuh:

Other than that, short chapter, but a nice read.

Okay, I just wanna say you are treating Mario's and Luigi's home dimension as if it's the only place that exist. The Mushroom Kingdom is just a very big country and sometimes it's the main setting out of everything else on the entire planet, its not the name of the universe (similar to how Equestria is the name of the country, not the planet).

If you're going to talk about dimensions, used words like the Mushroom Universe not Kingdom, and Mushroom World as the name of their home planet.

And please, please refrained from using "Marioverse" to describe anything Mario related. That's just stupid.

Anyways, your story is looking good. Nice pacing, not going too fast with everything.

6353901 Ah, yes I probably should have caught that, but I didn't. I'm fully aware that the Mushroom Kingdom is the name of the country. I didn't forget about the other kingdoms surrounding theirs, it's just that the main focus was the Mushroom Kingdom.

And I agree about the "Marioverse" bit. I never intended to use that.

I've notice your story has Starlight Glimmer tag.


You have peak my interest.

Since he was no longer being hunted down, he could study the brothers a little more closely. "Hey, wait a minute..." His eyes squinted as he studied them with more intensity. Then it hit him. "Are you kidding me!? How did I manage to run into you two palookas here?" He started angrily stomping his feet. "I thought I was rid of you lot since you ruined my plans on robbing the Pi'illo Kingdom of its treasures!"

Don't forget the Beanbean Kingdom too Popple!

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