In the Place the Wild Horses Sleep
On the night Mia ran with wild horses through her living room, everything was wrong.
Dinner was wrong – it wasn’t hot enough, and there were too many green things. TV was wrong – cartoons were over and Mother wanted to watch the news. But above all, the house was wrong. There were too many walls. There weren’t enough forests growing in the living room, an absence of mountains in the dining area, and a lack of wide open meadows in the kitchen. Inside her house, the cool wind didn't blow in the light of a blue moon.
Mother didn’t want to play with her any longer.
‘Enough,’ Mother snapped, putting down her work papers. ‘That’s enough mischief for one night. You’ve played well past your bedtime, little Miss Mia.’
Mia didn’t want to go to bed that night: her heart was filled with horses and her legs were full of running. Even so, she clipped and clopped her way upstairs to brush her teeth. Clip CLOP, she went. Clip CLOP. Clip CLOP.
‘Stop stamping, Mia. No more games, I’ve got to work now.’
Mia huffed. Mia whinnied.
Slamming her bedroom door behind her, she said, ‘Bed? Wild horses don’t sleep in beds. They sleep in fields, and they sleep in the moonlight. I’m not going to bed tonight – I can play all by myself.’ With that, she galloped around and around her bedroom, over a pool (her rug), over a hedge (her bed). But WHACK! She tripped on the rug-pool and bumped her head on the bed.
‘Go to bed, Mia,’ Mother said through the closed door.
Mia folded her arms. ‘Mum! Horses don’t sleep in beds. We sleep in fields and in moonlight, and we sleep in the starlight.’
‘Quite right,' Mother said. 'Horses don’t sleep in beds – but little girls do. Little girls with tired legs and tired arms and tired heads. You are not a horse. Go to sleep.’
For a long while, Mia glowered at the door. Then she threw herself under the sheets, and in a horse-proud whisper said, ‘I’ll find it. I’ll find the place the wild horses are, and they’ll be my friends and let me play all night long.
‘I’ll run where wild horses run,
I’ll leap when wild horses leap!
I’ll eat what wild horses eat,
I’ll sleep where wild horses sleep!'
Her wishes galloped through the open window and into the night. Past star oceans and sun forests, and in and out of a thousand glittering dreams. There, her wishes found the place where the cool wind blows in the light of a blue moon, and where the wild horses live…
Just as Mia was falling asleep, there came a CLIP and a CLOP, a KNOCK and a KNOCK upon the door. She sat bolt upright.
CLIP CLOP,
went the floor.
KNOCK KNOCK,
went the door.
‘Who... who’s there?’ she said. Her heart beat, beat, beat in excitement, for wild horses awaited outside her door.
‘Let Us in!’ said the wild horse in a midnight voice. ‘You are the filly in need of friends? We wish to see you!’
With a leap and a bound Mia got out of bed, and opened the door to let in—
A dark winged horse,
Deep night blue,
A night horned horse:
It’s true! It’s true!
The horse – a winged unicorn – had a mane of stardust, and there were stars in her tail. She stood smaller than the doorway but taller than Mia. Behind her eyes lurked wildness – yet it was a forgotten wildness, long since tamed (although no wild horse could ever be truly tamed).
Said the horse, ‘At long last, We have found you, Miss PLAY. We have found you and you shall come with Us.’
Something in the way the unicorn said PLAY made Mia chilly with wonder. She peered into the corridor. ‘W-where are the others?’
‘Little Mia, my beautiful little Mia, my precious, dear, little Miss Mia. We call Ourselves ‘We’ for We are a princess – Our name is Princess Luna! And We are the only pony here, come to take you to where the ponies dwell.
‘Where the ponies live and sleep,
And where the ponies run;
Where the ponies eat and drink,
Magic ponies, how fun!’
‘Do you wish to join Us on an adventure, Miss PLAY? The choice is yours.’
Mia hesitated. As friendly as the unicorn – the Star Pony – Princess Luna seemed, she clearly wasn’t a wild horse. Although maybe she could help Luna remember her wildness…
Mia nodded.
Then Luna kicked the door shut, and the room shuddered and shook like a wild thing. City lights were replaced with the white lights of stars. Houses became fields. Concrete towers became towering trees, and as Mia pressed her nose to the window, she saw, to her delight, that they were travelling through the countryside.
‘Welcome, Miss PLAY, to the Friendship Express,’ said the princess in her midnight voice to match her midnight looks.
In poking her head out the window, Mia discovered that they were on a train: a steam train no less, of which her bedroom was now the last compartment on the very last carriage.
White stars, cold stars,
Bright stars, yellow.
Red stars, cross stars,
Blue stars, mellow.
Loud stars, soft stars,
Singing stars, ringing stars,
Quiet stars, hushed stars,
Stars that Bellowed.
‘I can hear them singing!’ Mia exclaimed. Wrapping herself in her red dressing gown, she sat on the windowsill to listen to the singing of the stars. They sang in words known only to horses; and even then, only to those horses that still knew of the old tales, from the times when all the world knew that magic was real, magic was true.
Towering trees gave way to towering hills, and Mia spied a huge castle atop a mountain. Enormous, giant, ginormous; colossal, gigantic, gilossal. It was the biggest castle she had ever seen. Fairy-tale towers pierced the star-sprinkled night, and the stars shining above resembled an enormous horse, sleeping and smiling, with a horn and wings made of moonlight.
Soon after that, the train steamed to a halt in the castle grounds, and six ponies waited on the station platform for them: two horned, two winged, and two with neither horns nor wings.
‘I’m MAGIC,' said the purple pony.
'I’m KINDNESS,' said the yellow pony.
'I’m LAUGHTER,' said the pink pony.
'I’m HONESTY,' said the orange pony.
'I’m LOYALTY,' said the blue pony.
'I’m GENEROSITY,' said the white pony.
‘We’ve been waiting for you, Mia,' said MAGIC. 'Friendship is magic, but it’s no fun without PLAY.’
Mia bit her lip, wondering when they were going to run with wild horses.
For the time being, however, she was happy to let her new friends show her around. What a castle, what a castle! What a city! A marvellous jumble of white stone buildings grown up merrily messily around the castle.
There were ponies everywhere, and they lived in houses and ate outside cafes on oak carved tables. There were a hundred shops, selling hay and grass, flowers and seeds, and feed.
Mia saw fancy ponies and big ponies and little ponies. Ponies who were pink and purple, red and orange. Ponies green and ponies emerald. Ponies with blue fur coats and violet fur coats. There were ponies coloured colours she couldn’t name, and others wearing dresses, boots, hats, and suits, and saddles (for who? she wondered). There were singing ponies and performer ponies putting on shows for the passer-by ponies.
Amongst them all wasn’t a single wild horse. Not so much as a dozen. Not so much as
one.
‘We’re here!’ said MAGIC, clapping her hooves together. And there they were: at the gates of a fine old palace. ‘I’ve planned this all out by the book, you know. It’s going to be so much fun!’
Inside the palace was a hall, where everything was wrong, wrong, wrong. There was a feast of nettle soup and poached grass, honey roasted hay, spinach and cabbage ice cream (Mia made a different face for every dish). Marble walls kept out the cool breeze whispering under a blue moon; a humongous chess board made up the floor; and there was a severe shortage of forests and meadows growing through the cracks between the tiles.
‘When are we going to run?
When are we going to leap?
Where are the wild horses?
Where do the horses sleep?
Tell me,
Where?
Oh tell me,
Please!
Tell where wild horses sleep!'
But the ponies were too excited to pay attention.
Afterwards, Princess Luna led Mia to her new bedroom at the top of the tallest tower: a princess’s tower looming over a forest of spires. Her bed was soft and warm, and laid on the red pillows were red pyjamas with a pattern of hooves printed on them. The bath in the next room was neither too hot nor too cold. Everything was perfect, perfect! Save for the most important detail of all, which no amount of baths, pyjamas, beds, nor towers could fix…
The second she was alone, Mia slipped away.
Down from the top of the tallest tower.
Down, down, through Castle Town, running through the castle grounds.
Down, down, down to the station, where the steam train waited.
Down, down, down, down onto the tracks, because the train was silent. Stealing a last look at the castle, Mia set off in search of wild horses.
Silent night,
All is right.
Stars so bright,
Moon so still.
All is cold,
All is chill.
All is silent,
Silent night.
Mia swelled with happiness, until a loud THUMP made her JUMP. ‘Pray tell Us, Miss PLAY! Where do you think you’re going with the moon so high and with the stars a-chill?’
Luna had landed on the tracks behind her. Mia’s mouth went dry.
‘I’m… I’m sorry I didn’t say goodbye,’ Mia said. ‘You’ve all been so lovely! But I want to be friends with horses. That’s all I want. That’s the only thing I want.’
‘Is that not why We brought you here? You were in need of friends, so We came to the rescue!’
Mia shook her head. ‘I want to be friends with wild horses. Wild, wild, wild, wild, WILD! You ponies are nice, but you eat off plates! You sleep in beds! You have supper at playtime, and bed after suppertime. Mum didn’t understand and neither do you. You’re not wild enough.’
Mia felt hot, but not ordinary hot. The light of a match is no match for the heat of the desert. The heat of the desert is a lazy summer’s day compared with the belly of the Sun. And it was down the Sun’s throat and into Her fiery stomach into which Mia now tumbled. Suddenly, she couldn’t look Luna in the eyes.
If she had, she would have been remembered that in the princess’s eyes lurked forgotten wildness.
Forgotten, but reawakened.
Luna placed a hoof on Mia’s shoulder. ‘If wild horses is what it takes, then though We don’t understand, we shall help you. Because you are loved, Miss Mia. You are so loved, although you do not always see it.’
A moment’s pause. Then Mia hugged the princess as though she were Mother – and a new wish came to her, one that she didn’t know how to put into words. Had it been granted, she imagined that time would have galloped backwards, and she would have known better than to tell Luna that she didn’t understand True Wildness…
‘I didn’t mean to shout at you,’ Mia whispered. But Luna simply smiled and didn’t say a word, then let Mia clamber onto her back.
Down, Down, Down the Star Pony flew.
Down the rail tracks.
Down the mountain.
Down to grass without end, to the place the cool breeze blows in the light of a blue moon. Where the wild horses run. Where the wild horses leap. Where the wild horses eat and drink, where the wild horses sleep.
There they were: Wild Horses.
They ate blue-green grass in the star-silence. They drank river water in the moon-quiet. They were mum horses and they were dad horses, and they were fillies and they were colts. They were the colours of the earth: they were black and white; they were brown with white splotches; they were black with brown splatches.
They looked fearsome.
They looked WILD.
Jumping off her friend’s back and running with bare feet against the wet grass! Wind chilled the bare skin of her arms, and her heart beat and beat and beat! But when the wild horses saw her coming they ran away.
‘STOP! WAIT!’
Wild horses listen to no-one, for wildness can be friendship, yet wildness can be cold and dark and lonesome. Indeed, when Mia shouted to the princess to help her catch up, she was met with the silence of a hundred horseless nights: Luna was gone. Mia was alone.
Yet even as her heart sank, she felt the touch of something soft wrap around her body and heard a whisper inside her head: wild voices. Warm as the warmest fire on a black December’s night. Comforting as the tightest hug, so though tears flowed freely down her face, she didn’t care.
MAGIC,
KINDNESS,
And LAUGHTER too,
HONESTY,
LOYALTY,
GENEROSITY too.
With love in her heart, Mia then knew,
Friendship is Magic and Magic is TRUE.
‘We love you,’ they said.
‘We love you
We love you.
We love you.
We love you.
We love you.’
Her heart pumped the words through her body, and the words changed her. Down her legs to the tips of her toes – but her feet were hooves. Down her arms and tingling in her fingers – but her hands were hooves. Up, up through her lungs and chest, to the roots of her hair – but her hair had turned into a long brown mane and her lungs were giant. Her pyjamas were red-brown fur sprinkled with white dots. Mia flicked her wild tail, and galloped, galloped into the night, wild horse that she now was.
‘This is Our gift to you,’ she heard Princess Luna say from nowhere. ‘Much love, Miss Mia.’
Mia tried to whisper thanks, but a neigh and a breigh escaped her lips. She fancied that she heard Luna laughing – kindly laughter, that of a friend’s.
All through the night and into the dawn, Mia ran with wild horses.
Sleet and rain and snow and hail,
Grass and mountain, hidden trails.
Through fields, plains, sun and heat,
Mia ran, ran; heart beat, beat.
And it beat, it beat, it beat: a horse’s heart, her own, her very own! She wanted to cry with happiness – yet not whilst there was running to be done with the wild horses.
She ran through the day and back into night.
Then the wild horses ran faster, and then the horses were gone. Above shone the moon. Above sang the stars, singing a horse’s tune.
Despite herself, she longed for the soft bed in the tallest tower. She wanted to sink into a warm bath – but wild horses didn’t have warm baths. They didn’t have pyjamas to dress back into. They didn’t have cartoons. They didn’t have living rooms or bedrooms, or kitchens. Their mothers didn’t tell them to brush their teeth and go to bed. And when they ate greens, it was green grass ripped straight from the earth, and that certainly wasn’t hot enough for her.
Mia was lonely.
Straight ahead, in a vast field, there was a bed with a red blanket, lit by an electric lamp on a wooden desk. In the bed was Mother, asleep in the lamplight, and tossing and turning. Her work papers were scattered in the grass, along with her doctor’s uniform, along with her work bag and her work things.
Mia climbed into bed with muddy hands and cold feet, so tired that she didn’t notice she was a girl again. She still felt like a wild horse, although a horse warm and cosy in a familiar bed.
When Mother’s arms found her, Mia hugged back. Mother stopped tossing and turning. Mia turned off the lamp and switched off the starlight and the moonlight; then she pressed an ear against Mother’s chest so as to listen to the beat of a heart more beloved than her own, the most comforting sound in the world.
Mia fell asleep smiling.
Mother’s heart beat, and beat, and beat.
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I loved this!
I have to second this. Absolutely.
This is awesome.
Something about the picture drew me to read this straight away. I loved every bit of the story, but it wasn't until I say the link at the end that I twigged why. Of course - the Uffington horse - best pony art ever! Your story really captures that wild horse spirit in the same way as the iron age figure.
(I'm a big fan of the White Horse; see the final chapter of my silly saga: The Equine Comedy)
4605644 Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it!
And I'm very glad that you thought Mia was well written. She's actually a very old character of mine -- she pre-dates Friendship is Magic by several years, and is the subject of several old comics and terrible, terrible, terrible, TERRIBLE early attempts at novels. So I feel like I know her incredibly well, and know how she'd react in any given situation.
fc06.deviantart.net/fs21/f/2007/240/a/8/Alien_Invasion_of_HORROR_by_do_you_sell_crisps.jpg
That was originally the plan! But in the end, the cover alone ended up taking so long that I didn't have a chance -- it was only because I stayed up all last night finishing it off that I got it done on time
4606163 Aw shucks! Thanks!
4606575 The Uffington horse is beautiful. The early versions of the cover art were just straight copies of it! Obviously that didn't last, but it's always nice to speak to other people who feel the same way about it that I do
That story of yours looks well good by the way! I will definitely check it out when I finally get a spare moment or two.
This was a very sweet children's story. It definitely has a lot of mare-it!
Well, wasn't that just unbearably adorable? I rather liked the twist in her midway rejection of the more civilized ponies. At least she sticks to what she wants.
Quite nice, Lucky
~lammy
This made me think back to the story 'Where the Wild Things Are' for some reason...but I enjoyed it! You somehow managed to do this with only naming two of your characters
Words can't describe how much I enjoyed reading this
This is the first story I've ever read aloud since I was a little tyke. If I had a good mic, I'd take a stab in the dark to make a read-along sort of thing and post it on the Tube. Seriously, though, this is a wonderful children's tale. I could see this used in library book/fanfic readings for little'uns.
A grand work.
Wonderful story. Made me feel like a kid again.
This really reminds me of the comforting warm magic feeling of "It's Not a Cold Dark Place". You really enjoy writing about dreams, don't you?
The only thing which would make it better would be pictures like a real children's book.
*clapping*
I am impressed.
*at loss of words*
4617558 I don't know whether to laugh or to cry at this comment. Or both
4623943 Aw, thank you Lammy! I'm really glad that you enjoyed it, and I'm glad people liked the twist as well. I wasn't sure how readers would react. I worried they might complain that there's no way a real child would act the way that she does in this.
4624032 Where the Wild Things Are used to be called Where the Wild Horses Are -- right up until the point Maurice Sendeck realised that he couldn't draw horses (or at least that's his version of events, although his horses look perfectly lovely if you ask me). Also, I'd originally planned to call Luna 'The Star Pony', but I thought that was probably taking it a little too far so i changed it at the very last minute.
But yeah, thank you for the nice comment!
4624410 What a wonderful thing to say! If you ever ended up doing something like that I'd simply love to hear it
4624963
4625247 It's not just dreams. It dawned on me the other day just how many of my stories seem to end with the main character/s falling asleep safe and warm in bed, and not just with my fanfiction -- Cold Dark Place would have ended like that, and the thing I'm working on at the moment ends like that as well (albeit there's not a real bed in sight, otherwise it's basically the same). What can I say? I just freaking love my bed!
img0.joyreactor.cc/pics/comment/my-little-pony-%D0%BF%D0%B5%D1%81%D0%BE%D1%87%D0%BD%D0%B8%D1%86%D0%B0-mlp-other-Fluttershy-159043.gif
4625408 I would have loved to have done that! Not enough time though
4625542 The clapping says more than enough. Thanks very much for the lovely comment :
Wonderful story! So imaginative with this journey and tells a great story of looking for love.
There's something sort of indescribably... nice about this story. It's certainly not the greatest thig I've ever read, but it channels a children's story, with a mixture of metaphors, poetry, and prose. It has some of that vagueness that some stories tend to have. Of course, once I got to the comments, I understood why: I read Where the Wild Things Are as a small child, myself- and I am not even a full week away from turning 21- I hadn't known that it was supposed to be horses; I think that his horses are rather fine, myself. Better than anything I can do, certainly, and probably better than most, given the seemingly universal difficulty of drawing the dang things' legs.
Like pretty much everyone else has said before me, all that is missing is the picture-book style drawings. (And there's nothing saying you cannot go back and add the drawings at a later date, if you so desire.
)
And I had never seen nor heard of these "chalk horses" until today; thank you for that, I especially enjoy the aesthetic employed in that Uffington White Horse.
Is the cover art on DeviantART? I wish to favorite it. If not, you should put it on there.
4626005 Thank you!
4628572 Hearing this story described as 'indescribably nice' was a pretty awesome thing to wake up to this morning.
I occasionally still read picture books, and despite how old it is now, Where the Wild Things Are is still one of the best. This story started off as a tribute for it before slowly turning into more of its own thing – when I heard what the original title was supposed to have been I felt like… well, I had to do something with it. Where the Wild Horses Are is such an evocative title.
With the drawings: I'm gonna leave them for now (I literally just don't have the time) but so many people have mentioned them here in the comments that I'll make sure my next story has them.
Also, happy 21st birthday for later this week. I hope you have a really good day!
4629634 Arg, I knew I was forgetting to do something! Here ya go
4630547
It's that strange quality that children's stories sometimes have, especially the older ones; that thing you can't put your finger on, but is rather pleasant all the same. At my age there is a bit of nostalgia attached to it, too.
Hrm, I wish I could read picture books so easily. Some of them can be quite entertaining, and the art in a few of them is often spectacular. But I've not the confidence to tread those waters, not where anyone can see, anyhow... I'm weird enough as it is, and that strikes even me as coming off as a little too weird.
Thanks; I turn next Monday, on the seventh. The 7th day of the 7th month- but on that day in 2007, nothing really special happened to me... in fact, I ended up missing most of the Green Earth concert (or whatever they called it) because I fully expected to get on the computer that day (back when there was only one means to access the Internet), but my brother took more than his fair share of time, as was his wont back then... Ah, I've rambled. Sorry about that; but that missed opportunity to witness the majority of what was apparently only a one-time thing still rankles me to this very day.
Hrm, if I had any kind of talent at landscape drawing, I'd offer to do the pictures myself, just for the pleasure of it. I've got nothing but free time, after all... But I'm afraid that landscapes were never really something that I committed much time to, and thus, my talent with them is naught.
This certainly does remind me of some of the best short childrens' stories.
Though, I was never able to personally identify with most of the children in such stories.
Very early I learned to split off my fantasies from my realities.
And by the age of 2 I was regularly watching the evening news.
Beautiful. Many thanks and here's hoping perhaps this could be a picture book some day.
That was simply wonderful.
I have never read a better story on this site.
4630611
If you're anything like me you'll learn to ignore that feeling. I think it's the years spent working in customer services that did it to me -- after a while I realized that I just... didn't care if other people thought my interests were weird. Because A) dealing with the general public day in day out means that I've met some of the weirdest people ever, and B) those people were usually the coolest! And there's far worse things to be into than picture books. Especially when there's books out there like this or like this.
I wouldn’t worry too much about missing Live Earth. There have been much better one off concerts in the past that are worth getting upset about (if only I’d been around for Live Aid!). There will be much better one off concerts in the future that will be a hundred times more worthwhile
Frankly, I’m just flattered that you think the story's worth that kind of treatment! And don’t think of it in terms of ‘my landscape's are rubbish’, but rather ‘one day, my landscapes will be amazing’.
4631518
In that case you’re the exact opposite of me: up until I was about 15 or 16 I made an active effort to avoid anything to do with the news. I guess I enjoyed living in a bubble or something.
But yeah. Thank you for the nice comment!
4633175 Who knows? Maybe I could rework this into an original story one day. But in the meantime I’m glad you enjoyed it
4636107 Thank you!
4636695 Best comment ever. Thank you so much
4638404
At age 4, I wanted to be a vulcanologist. By age 6, I realized falling into lava wouldn't be fun, so I switched to biology, and now I'm a biologist!
Suffice to say, other people's opinions never mattered to me.
In any case, this story above the majority of others, deserves to become an actual book with Hasbro's blessing (though, considering they keep letting Michael Bay make movies... it'd really only matter in official capacity.)
There are very few other stories I think epitomize the 'childhood' aspect of the ponies so well, most being themed for a much older audience even when they are magnificent pieces of literature (such as "The Eternal Sun", which would leave children either totally bewildered or traumatized; and "Pirates for a Day/Eternity", which requires at least middle school-level reading comprehension to fully grasp).
None of my ideas in my own stuffed notebook (which I'll probably get around to writing after I retire 40 years from now...) are 'young' enough, nor clever enough to match. I'm very good at designing a solid, flawlessly logical and comprehensive plot, but the whimsical prose and 'music' of pure fantasy eludes my overly practical and scientifically-locked mind, as much as I try to let imagination fly a little more freely.
Simply put, this really is an equal to "Where the Wild Things Are" as a children's masterpiece.
Oh yes, one more thing I must say.
There are many popular stories on this site. FoE for one. Many are severely flawed (including virtually every vampony and NMM-fanboi fic I have ever seen), filled with agonizing plot holes, terrible characterizations, mind-numbing idiot-balling, hokey melodrama, inexplicable violence and savagery...
...and yet they have so many thousands of likes.
You, as the author, would be ridiculed to point this disgrace out. I, however, as a long-winded, no-holds-barred critic can say it in no uncertain terms: This story deserves all the likes of those stories combined.
This story IS magic.
*Alondro sees... A DISLIKE?!?!!*
Ok, what kind of soulless monstrosity from the very depths of hell and Detroit clicked the dislike button on this story?
SHAME ON YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!
Wait, what quality makes this part of the contest?Nvm.
Great story, by the way.
This was actually a very satisfying read. Certainly most of the fics I read on this website, while they can be well-written and entertaining or meaningful stories, are directed towards an older audience. They deal with more mature subjects or just have a more mature writing style. And that's okay. But this...this was something fresh and unique to me. It was really refreshing to see something written for children and since fanfictions are...how should I put it...not a medium with a solid or sole target audience at times, you don't often find one openly meant for children.
I think you did it wonderfully. There was an interesting style to the prose, keeping very simple but effective with a vivid flavor to the prose. I think that's worthy to note given the limited approach to it. It takes some good writing chops to pull that off, in my opinion.
I suppose, though, if I had to nitpick something, it was in the portrayal of the Mane Six. It felt off, the way they behaved so simply. Their personalities didn't show through as much, giving them the unique and varied appeal as characters. It just kind of lost something, I suppose. I didn't hate the approach, it worked with the story, but like I said. If I had to nitpick something that didn't entirely work for me.
Other than that...I honestly think this is solid work. Your language and prose is really something. You managed to keep it simple, accessible for kids, but still having a unique voice and really good imagery. Also, just, I think in a fandom that has a lot of fan work produced dealing with more mature subjects (like most fandoms, really), it's really nice to see something more accessible to the original target audience.
4641738 Dude, you totally should’ve been a volcanologist. It would’ve been worth it just to see the looks on people’s faces when they found out what you did for a living!
I read your blog post. I was honestly quite touched by it. I thought this story would perhaps get a couple of comments and a few likes at most, but I didn’t imagine anything quite like the response I’ve had from some people such as yourself. Seriously, thank you so much!
All that stuff used to bother me too. But I think a better way of looking at it is that, for better or worse, those stories popularity are what keep this site alive, and so in turn allow for more interesting/better written stories to find an audience that they wouldn’t have otherwise gotten. It’s kind of like… how all the millions that the Twilight films made allowed Summit Entertainment to finance so many cool movies that, under different circumstances, wouldn’t have even existed. I mean, not as many people saw those other films, but even so it’s very cool that they’re available.
In the ideal world, the popular stuff would be the best stuff – and sometimes it is! But even when it’s not, I’m just thankful that it exists at all
But 79 likes!! … Well, 78. I accidently hit the like button when I was using my phone
. But I live with dislikes. Fanfiction wouldn’t be very interesting if everyone had the same opinion on everything.
I will give Michael Bay this: no movie before or since Transformers 2 has ever gotten the same response from me (Sex in the City 2 came very, very close (why do I keep putting myself through these films?!)). That’s got to count for at least something. Although if I ever see it again it would be 20 billion years too soon.
4641977 Thank you! And thanks for the watch
4645192 This was a really lovely comment, thank you very much!
I’m a big believer in the idea that some of the best art happens when limitations are placed down. Placing limits on your art forces you to work in more creative ways. Even if it’s as simple as putting a word limit on your story! You end up having to make every word count, and think hard about the best, most efficient way to get across what you’re trying to say.
It's not fanfiction (it's not even writing come to that) but just think about the movie Jaws and how they had to work with a crappy malfunctioning shark prop whose mouth didn't even close properly. And yet by using it creatively they made one of the best films ever.
That’s a fair criticism. I originally wanted each of the main six to have a speaking role, but it completely messed up the pacing so I cut it all out. I think the trade-off was worth it – ultimately I don’t think that their individual personalities matter that much to the story – but unfortunately it means that if you’re looking for something with a well-developed mane 6, this ain’t it
(One read later)
I... I have no words. This is one of the best pony-related things I've ever read. Perhaps the best. Thank you for it.
If this wasn't the most beautiful thing I've read in a while, I don't know what is.
I could go on about how well-written Mia was, how nice the sequencing was planning, but the soulful wonder of the voice just sweeps everything away, and it's not often I get to simply say that something's beautiful, so I very will do so.
Amazing, magical story here. Well done, author.
I have one question, and one question alone. How did you manage to pour magic onto a page? Because this was phenomenal.
Your story is neat to read.
Well I, uh... I, um...
*throws hands up*
Good game everyone. The Most Dangerous Game contest is now over. This wins. In fact, it wins every contest. In the world. Forever.
I've always wanted to see more of your work since I first laid eyes on It's Not a Cold, Dark Place, and I'm so happy to see that the quality of your writing hasn't gone down even a smidge. This story is a perfect children's story, and that makes it a perfect My Little Pony story, which basically makes it one of the best stories we as a fandom have written to date. This story is a story about the very things that I feel My Little Pony tried to teach its target audience: how to grow up, how to appreciate what you have, how to just be a better person in general.
I was shaking my head while I read this, wondering how this fandom could put me in contact with such great authors. I heard that Cold, Dark Place is being turned into original fiction - I will be looking for it on the shelves.
There is such a lyrical beauty to this, and the ending is absolutely perfect.
That was wonderful and lovely. I wouldn't say the best thing I evee read on the site, but that's my personal preference and it's up there anyway.
I don't know that this is the best story in the fandom, or even in the Most Dangerous Game contest, but damn, it's gotta be close.
This was phenomenal work. I definitely got the "Where the Wild Things Are" vibe from it, and it is bar-none the best children's story I have read on this site.
I don't want to concede defeat just yet, but I think we can safely say Obs' little contest generated some of the most startlingly good stories to appear on this site in a while.
4658071 Thank you! I enjoyed your entry as well. It’s not an approach to HiE I’ve really seen before (though admittedly it’s not a genre I read an awful lot of), and it was a very nice little story to boot.
Best of luck in the contest!
4659208
Seriously, I’m incredibly flattered by this. I’m glad you liked it.
4660341 I did a Hogwarts correspondence course. My major was in potions
(Thank you for such a lovely comment!)
4660502
4661779
To be fair, I’ve heard truly excellent things about your own one (though I haven’t had a chance to read it yet
). And the same goes for Aquaman’s entry and Cold in Gardez’s. And don’t forget Norsepony, who always works magic with whatever he writes. So many talented authors on this site 
.
You heard half-right. It’s not that I’ve been turning it into something original, but that many of the themes and ideas I had planned for it have ended up finding their way into what I’ve been working on this past year (it should be ready around September or thereabouts).
4668450 Thank you! I’m happy you enjoyed it!
4670737
To be honest, I’m just happy that people enjoyed it. That’s more than good enough for me – anything else is an added bonus.
4672391
I’m genuinely honoured! And I haven’t had a chance to read many of the entries yet (yours included I’m afraid to say – it’s been a busy couple of weeks), but I’ve really loved the ones that I have looked at, and I’ve heard fantastic things about the next few that I have lined up. I guess something about this contest really caught people’s imagination.
Best of luck to you by the way
I heard great praise of this story and I honestly believe it was all justified. Damn... I mean... DAMN! That is more or less a professional children's book.
Well, the contest has a winner. Fantastic job, author.
This is a flawless and wonderful piece of work, but 'm gonna have to disagree on just one little detail due to a personal preference: I prefer stories - and by that I still mean children's stories - that are written the way people would actually talk. The prose you use is obviously meant to be narrated with a hushed reverence for the magic and wonder it contains, and to a child reading or listening to it, that would be fine. But for me, it makes the prose sound a bit too childish; corny, even. A kid doesn't need saccharine prose to enjoy a good story or get the message.
That's just how I, and I alone, interpreted it. Doesn't change that this is a wonderful story with a great moral (although it still can't beat the episode "Equestria Games" for having an equally strong lesson and a magical ending that doesn't feel so syrupy)!
4690620 I wouldn't count the other stories out quite yet -- some of them are absolutely wonderful! I think this contest has been one of the best things to happen to this site in a good long while.
Thank you for the awesome comment, I'm glad you enjoyed the story
4696152 Honestly, part of me is surprised it's taken this long to get a comment like this. Heavily stylised dialogue is definitely one of those 'your-mileage-may-vary' sort of things (look at how people reacted to the film Juno), and I really thought that the speech in this would turn off a lot more people than it did.
I take the view that pretty much all speech in fiction is stylized to one degree or another, and I include 'realistic' dialogue in that -- if characters in books actually actually talked like people in real life, then most stories would be unreadable, what with stuff like filler words and constant interruptions and talking over each other and not speaking in full sentences etc (I know all those things exist in prose, but very, very rarely to the same extent as in real life).
So building off that, I don't personally have any problems in taking it further and writing stuff like... well, like this story! As long as the intentions and emotions behind the words feel genuine, then I don't think it matters so much if the actual words themselves don't sound realistic. And I think that dialogue like this, whilst not being something that children need, is something extra that they might enjoy.
... But yeah, that's all just my own personal opinion. There's no right or wrong answer, and like I said, I'm surprised I haven't had more comments like this. If the dialogue in a story turns you off than that's a completely valid critique to make
For me that episode would be Cutie Mark Chronicles. 22 minutes of pure storytelling magic
Thank you for such a lovely and thoughtful comment!
4698752 It was just as confusing for me to see so many people interpreting the writing style and still showering it with unmitigated praise (wasn't even sure if I was right to criticize it, with people like JohnPerry and Casca giving it such a ringing endorsement). I can absolutely see what you mean by the difference between real-life speech and dialogue that is fixed/streamlined for the benefit of a work of fiction, and I don't disagree with you logic. Thank you for the thoughtful reply.
Yeah, but the ending was so cheesy.
All of my anger towards the HiE genre (though I've always been willing to read human stories because I believe in giving chances but I digress) has been thrown out a window and stomped upon by a herd of African elephants.
This was pure beauty, and I must draw some fan art of it sometime.
An interesting choice, to write a children's book for the contest.
I suspect such things are lost on one as old as I.
Very nice! To put it simply it had a very "Where the Wild Things Are" feel to it. The story was nice and sweet without being overly saccharine. It also was very well-paced in my opinion; it was long enough to get the messages and themes across but short enough so that it wasn't dragged out.
All in all a prize-winning story.
Kudos to the author.
This is one of the best children's stories I've read in a good long time. A lovely story, and a fine homage to Where the Wild Things Are.
This was an adorable story! Masterfully done.
Stunningly beautiful. This does deserve to be made into a published children's story.
The ending was so very sweet. I wasn't a huge fan of the middle section, but the beginning and end were really good.
We all wonder, Mia, we all wonder.
(Loved the story, btw
)