Due to the epiphany of copy cat, I discontinued this story. Did not delete for those who genuinely enjoyed it. Didn't realize how close I was following the gameplay storyline during the time and age I was. Thank you for those who supported this and apologies are due to you, but I don't like complete unoriginality and I'm a bit ashamed I have this. Nonetheless, I will keep it up, and if you enjoyed it, I highly encourage you to take a view at my Pony's Creed series. Or not, I won't be offended. ^^
Chapters (6)
that is a....... strange pre.......
okay seriously, bluebloodk illing celestia? even if he grew a pair we are talking about likerly a mediocre unicorn killing a demigod with not only magic butr physical attributes and likely a thousand years of experienceo f dodging assassins.
this is getting to a good start. I did not expect a story like this. good luck with it
.
4500888 Well I didn't have much to chose from. Chrysi already has a role, Discord is too OP and Tirek wasn't around yet... So, yeah, I'll figure out something... If he final grew a pair so true
!
4500888
4500906
Well, there's always the Alicorn Amulet. 'course that would mean he'd barely be in control of his actions to begin with, and I'm not sure if that's an angle you want to take.
4500912 I thought Twi destroyed it in the episode?
4500889 thx, glad you liked it
4500912 yeaaaaah...... no. if you take a look at trixie, who while nowhere near twilight's level was still a competent magic user overall, likely more so than blueblood, i would argue she was roughly tiwlight sparkle's alicorn level of magically competent.
twilight is still far weaker than Celestia or Luna. so yeah....... still don' work. normally when something like that is named after something it is made to make up for a lack. a titan's gauntlet or something does not literally make you strong AS a titan, just strung. so logically the alicorn amulet makes you strong like an alicorn, not AS strong as an alicorn by any imagination. at least as strong as alicorns as old and experience as celestia and luna.
4500980 derped it four a secnd
but I think I follow... However, Twi was not able to beat Trixie. not saying I like that, but Twi had to use smokes and mirrors to trick Trixie, so it made her. MOre powerful, but more arrogant.
Ooh this looks cool.
0.0 What just happened?
4500989 thx
4500987 when she was a unicorn, she is now an alicorn.
4501004 but until the season four finale, she might as well be as powerful as her unicorn self... No offense twi
4501004 you know what, I'll just settle this once and for all, I going to go write the next chapter
4500980
We have absolutely nothing to base that on. Unless Twilight manages an age spell now (noted to be only possible for high-level Unicorns at a time when Alicorn and Unicorn magic was not discriminated between) it's absolutely logical to assume Trixie was more powerful then than Twilight is now.
And, for the record, old edition girdle of ogre strength did actually make you as strong as an ogre^^
4500914
Nope, they hid it with Zecora.
0.0
This gets more and more confusing as time goes on.
Also, PACING. Pacing pacing paaaaaciiiiiing.
So far, though, great spelling, grammar, etc. Much better than most.
4501422 how's it confusing?
4501507 Mostly that the intro started making it sound like a meta-fic, but then it isn't, but then it kinda is, but AAAGH MY HEAD ESPLOOD
Good story, though.
4501542 I know I should know this, but what is a meta-fic?
4501552 It's kinda confusing. I fail at writing a concise explanation for it. Basically, it's a fanfiction that's about a fanfiction author writing, or someone posting a fanfic and their reaction, etc. I'm sorry I can't describe it better.
so awesome.
4501566 that's actually pretty helpful, so Thx. And Thx for the follow
Huh.
First things first: SEPARATE YOUR PARAGRAPHS. Either add a newline between them or indent.
Third things second: Get an editor. Please. I saw an awful lot of errors and it really distracted me from the story.
Second things last: ...This is actually really well written. Nice. A few complains, but most of them are things like, "Why are the loyalsix called that when they number five?"
4531129 I was hoping I didn't have to explain, but it's six including me
4539203 Oooh, I see.
...call me a hopeful individual but I don't think they're actually going to kill him.
4543267 who? Shining, or me?
4543528 Context time! You. Shining is going to die, because he isn't Twilight's brother in this cannon so Derpy should have no problems with slicing him to ribbons. However, in case he's squeamish I recommend you take the road of replacing Sweetie Belle's poisoned drink with Shining's, defending her from the guards that try to kill her, and taking the black book from Shining corpse
4543558 ah! I see... Contest time! Give a pony version of the name Weepers
4543568 um...leapers, once the get infected they randomly start jumping. Sleepers, they are only aware of your presence when they hear you then they attack maliciously. Trotters, they aimlessly walk around. And neighsayers...that's all i've got
4543602 Alright, I'll see what I can do with that thx
4543602 Of course, for now, they'll be called Weepers, until (Spoiler alert) Twilight talks to me about them
Fast-paced much?
Good, though.
Blueblood is so dead now
Bullsh*t. Poisoner going around claiming that... liar.
And that one is supposed to be the hero? I'm not seeing it. Partly because this universe is so divorced from the regular one that I have trouble seeing the characters as anything resembling their show versions. If they were all replaced with OCs, it wouldn't make much difference.
Addendum: In retrospect, that was a little rude of me. Sorry. Still, I am a bit confused, and the characters are not resembling their show versions much. I know it's an AU, but if you take things to such a different path (like with Shining Armor or heck, Pinkie Pie) then it gets hard to care for them since they're essentially strangers.
4677225 and when you think about' on the game, you could be a hero or a killer. It' s up to you.
4680205 what you not get?
4689025 sneak story, Rarity liking DF was suppose to be some kind of funny element, Celestia and DF marriage was suppose to give him more of a reason to kill Blueblood, hence the name revenge is magic. Characters act weird because this is suppose to be completely different cannon, and I don't know of any pony else to kill Celestia.
4698650 Chrysalis has a role as lord region, discord is too powerful, I didn't know about tirek, shining would be the same as Blueblood.
this sucks i read first chapter half way through no dishonoed plot holes every where gramaticals and putting your self in the story
talk abut egotistical
4971916 plz continue?
7383429 Apologies. I appreciate your support for this story, but I will not continue it. If I ever do come back around to this idea, it will most likely be written with a different plot. This one followed too closely to the actual game and as I reread it, I realized how narcissistic I was with my character. Again, I apologize for any hopes you had for this story to continue, but I regret to tell you that it's a high probability that it will not.
7754075 Oh well... Seems pretty good though