The Talk

by Dinos4Ever

The Talk

The Talk:

It was a beautiful Sunday morning, and Applejack and her best friend, Rainbow Dash, were having a sleep over. The previous day, Rainbow Dash had helped Applejack carrying back apples long into the night, seeing as Big Macintosh was away to Fillydelphia to help see if he could make a deal with the school system there that could triple their profits.
“And then, Rarity tells me that she knows that ‘handsome young feller’ that Ah would like” Applejack said with a grin.
“Really? Who?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“And orange farmer” the creamy orange furred farmer replied.
“An orange farmer?!” Rainbow Dash shouted as she let out a laugh.
“Yeah, that’s what Ah said. And then she tells m- wait, do ya’ll hear that?” Applejack asked, putting a hoof to her ear.
“Hear what?” Rainbow Dash asked with a confused look on her face.
“Shhhhh.”
“What are we listening for?”
“Ah said shush, Rainbow!” Applejack hissed, as she continued to strain to hear the noise again.
“C’mon follow, me.” Applejack insisted as she got up and moved out the door.
“What are we looking for?” Asked Rainbow as she followed her friend out the door.
Applejack stopped at her sister, Apple Blooms’, bedroom door, put her ear to it, and then finally explained, “Ah thought Ah heard moanin’ comin’ from here.”
“Applejack, you don’t think, she could be uh…you know.”
Knowing what her spectrum maned friend was insinuating, Applejack scowled, “Rainbow! How could ya’ll say such a thing? Mah own sister, doin’ that?!”
“I don’t know, just listen for what you thought you heard.”
The two mares kept their ear to the door, but never heard the sound again. But what they did hear was the sound of heavy, labored breathing. This was a sound Applejack was accustomed to hearing during work hours, but not so early on a Sunday morning.
“Ah’m bargin’ in there.” Applejack announced in a whisper.
“No, wait, you can’t just interrupt a fillies’ personal time like that!” Rainbow whispered back, but it was too late. Applejack opened the door and stepped in to find Apple Bloom quickly pulling her hoof away from her groin area. Her hoof was shiny with some sort of clear, viscous liquid.
“Apple Bloom! What were ya’ll doin’ in here?”
“Uh, uh, nu-nothin’ sis!” the red maned filly said, her amber eyes darting around the room.
“Apple Bloom, fer one, Ah’m yer sister, ya’ll can tell me anything. An’ two, yer a terrible liar. Now tell me, what were ya’ll doing in here?”
“Ah-ah don’t wanna say in front of Rainbow Dash.”
“It’s okay AB, its natural! Heck, even I need to do some stress relief som-“Rainbow’s sentence was cut short by a kick to the gut from Applejack.
“Now Apple Bloom were ya’ll doin’ what Rainbow here is suggestin’?”
“Yeah. Sorry. Ah didn’t want ya to catch me doin’ it. Oh this is so embarrassin’.”
“AB, there is nothing embarrassin’ about this. Well, maybe a little bit, bein’ caught by yer sister an all, but Rainbow is right. It’s just a sign that yer growin’ up” Applejack smiled, then continued, “Ah think it’s time we’ve had ‘The Talk’. Big Mac has been tellin’ me fer months that it might be time, but Ah was too scared to say anythin’. Ah mean, Ah guess I wasn’t ready fer this…sorta thing with mah own sister. Ah still remember when Ma and Pa had ter give me The Talk. Every foal-“ this time it was Applejack’s turn to get hit in the gut.
“AJ, you’re stalling” Rainbow Dash pointed out.
“Okay, Ah guess yer right. I know Ah can’t hold this off any longer. Now, Apple Bloom, when a filly gets to yer age, they start goin’ through some changes. Ya’ll might have already noticed them with yer friends on the playground an’ such, but-“
“Ya’ll mean, like a Cutie Mark!” Apple Bloom asked, interrupting her sister’s speech.
“Well, it starts with a Cutie Mark, but-“
“Actually, Applejack, if I remember correctly, a Cutie Mark is what starts the whole process”
“Ya’ll been hangin’ around Twilight an’ her book too much. Ya’ll are turning into an egghead yerself!” Applejack joked.
“Have not!” Rainbow argued. But before Applejack could continue the teasing of her friend, Apple Bloom butted in. “So, what happens after Ah get mah Cutie Mark?”
“Well, fer one, ya’ll notice things like…well hormones.”
“Hormones?” Apple Bloom asked, confused.
“Yeah, they’re these well, kinda chemicals in the body, an’ they’re responsible fer the changes ya’ll go through. One of these changes is that yer voice’ll get deeper.”
“Wait, so yer sayin’ Ah’m gonna sound like Big Macintosh?!” the filly panicked.
“No, no, no, no. A mare’s voice doesn’t get nearly as deep as a stallion. Speaking of which, are we gonna talk about the changes a stallion goes through?”
“Wait, stallions change too? Ah wanna know about that!” said Apple Bloom as she bounced on her bed.
“Thanks fer that, genius. Ah wasn’t plannin’ on tellin’ her ‘bout that jus’ yet. Now ya’ll have gone and opened up them can o’ worms” hissed Applejack, glaring at her cyan furred friend.
“Well, let’s jus’ get mares covered first. Ah’m not as well versed in stallions, but apparently somepony ‘round here is.” Applejack continued to glare at Rainbow Dash, who shrunk back with a tint of red in her cheeks, while somewhere on the farm, one of the Apples’ sheep bleated.
“So, as Ah was sayin’, a mare’s voice gets deeper, but that’s not the most noticeable change. A mare’s hips get wider, so that when she has a baby, the foal can pass through her more easily. This is a more gradual change, as gradual as growin’ up itself. Now, as fer teats. Ah’ve heard that fer some creatures, they too start growing around this age. But ya’ll don’t have to worry about that. A mare’s teats will stay very small and unnoticeable until her first foal. When having a foal, a mare’s teats will start producin’ milk. That way, she can feed her new foal. Another change, is that fer once a month, ya’ll go through something called marestruation. Every mare has eggs insi-“
“Eggs! Ya’ll mean like a chicken! I thought you said babies came from a mamma’s tummy, now ya’ll are tellin’ me mares lay eggs?”
“Heh, not exactly Apple Bloom,” Applejack said as she tried to suppress a laugh for the sake of her clearly worried sister. “A mare’s eggs are very tiny. However, if a stallion does not…do his part, in helping to make a baby, then-“
“Wait, are ya’ll talkin’ about sex?! Ewwww! Ah don’t wanna talk about that. That’s gross!”
“No it’s not, its awwwesome!” said Rainbow Dash, as she half way closed her eyes to in memory.
“It is? Why?” Apple Bloom voiced her now peaked curiosity.
“Rainbow!” Applejack shouted, clearly annoyed with her friend, “Thanks fer that! Ah wasn’t plannin’ on tellin’ her that part of the process, but now ya’ll got her curious!” Applejack fumed.
“Sorry, AJ, I-I just couldn’t help it. I mean, you’re the honest one, I thought were gonna tell her anyway.”
“Tell me what?” Asked Apple Bloom. She didn’t like the idea of being fought over like this.
“Nothin’! Ferget about it.”
“Ah wanna know!” Apple Bloom insisted, “Please. Ya’ll are my sister. If Ah can tell you anythin’, you can tell me anythin’.” Apple Bloom pleaded.
“Fine. The…erm, process that Ah mentioned is called sexual intercourse. You see, a stallion goes through changes as well, so erm. Oh, Ah wasn’t plannin on tellin’ ya’ll about this until you were a lil’ older. Rainbow, tell Apple Bloom about stallions.”
“Okay kiddo, listen up. So, we’ve already mention that a stallion’s voice gets deeper. But like a mares hips, a stallions’ chest gets wider. That way, his body can hold all that extra…muscle.” Rainbow Dash breathed out the final word, getting a strange look from Apple Bloom, and an angry scowl from Applejack. “Oh, um, so yeah. A stallion’s muscle mass increases, not just as his shoulders but on his limbs and back as well. As for the more…private areas. A stallion has a… uh how do I describe this. It’s a tube of flesh with a hole on the top. This tube is called a penis. It has a lot of other names too, but a lot of them are too dirty. Well, anyway, during puberty-“
“Puberty?” Apple Bloom asked.
“Well, yeah that’s what this whole process is called,” continued Rainbow Dash, “So a colt isn’t born with an exceptionally large penis, but during puberty, it becomes larger.”
“Is it good for a stallion to have a big, um…penis?” Apple Bloom felt somewhat uncomfortable using the word in front of her sister.
“Oh heck yeah it is, the bigger the be-“
“Hold on right there. Apple Bloom, remember this, size don’t exactly guarantee performance.”
“Oh, and you would know, miss ‘I-only-have-time-for-apples?”
“Ah’ve had mah fair share of experiences” Applejack retorted smugly.
“Uh, sis, this is great an’ all, but Ah really don’t wanna hear about yer…personal life.”
“Oh, sorry AB.” Applejack blushed.
“So, anyway, a stallions’ penis gets bigger, but his testicles st-“
“Testicles? What are those?” Apple Bloom was confused again.
“Testicles are those pair of round orbs hanging behind a stallions’ penis, and they are responsible for the production of sperm.” Rainbow Dash continued. “You see, when a stallion sticks his penis inside of a mare’s vagina, he-“
“Vagina?” Apple Bloom asked once again. She really felt like her sister and Rainbow Dash weren’t being very clear with themselves, and she was starting to get annoyed by it.
“The vagina is that tube that you were rubbing earlier.” Rainbow explained
“Rainbow!”
“Sorry, AJ, but she was.” Rainbow Dash said with a shrug.
“Yeah, but ya’ll don’t have to go sayin’ it so bluntly.”
“Fine. That area you were touching earlier,” Rainbow started explaining, “Well, it’s a hot spot for nerve endings. And so that’s why it feels so good to touch.”
“But Ah was also touchin’ this little bump at the top, see?” Apple Blooms aid, before presenting herself to her sister and Rainbow Dash.
The reaction was immediate. The two mares covered their eyes, and Applejack shouted, “Apple Bloom, ya’ll can’t go showin’ yerself off like that!”
“Sorry sis” said Apple Bloom, quickly hiding personal areas.
“That’s better.” Rainbow Dash sighed, “Now, that ‘bump’, it called the clitoris. It’s another hotspot for nerve endings. And it engorges itself with blood, when it becomes erect.”
“Oh, okay.” Apple Bloom seemed content with that information.
“Now, back to a stallion’s anatomy,” Rainbow said, “Now, like a said, a stallion puts his penis in a mate’s vagina during the act of sexual intercourse. There, the stallion can ejaculate sperm, which is made by his testicles into a mare’s womb. The womb is where the eggs come to rest before marestruation. The eggs are usually all tucked away in a mare’s ovaries, which are little round balls that connect to the womb. If a stallion does not impregnate a mare, and their sperm and eggs do not meet, then the egg will be flushed out of the mare. This process happens once a month, every month. It’s a natural part of growing up.”
“So, let me get this straight, by having sex, I could get pregnant, an’ if Ah don’t have sex, I don’t get pregnant.”
“Pretty much, hotshot. Though there are-“ Rainbow was cut off by a punch to the stomach.
“That’s enough outta you” Applejack said in a tone of finality.
“Yes, which is why sex is something ya’ll should only have sex with a pony you really, really love. Ah don’t mean the kind of love ya’ll have fer me, or Big Mac, or Granny Smith. This is a kinda love that ya’ll can only express with a pony you would die for. A pony, that if you lost them, you would go to the ends of Equestria ter find them. Ya see, an act like sex, it brings you and another pony so close together, you almost literally become each other. This is an act that is very special. Remember that part Apple Bloom, it’s the most important. Sex is special. Which is why you don’t do it fer money, or to get back at somepony, or simply for the pleasure of doin’ it. Sex is a meant fer two ponies that love each other more than life itself. If you got anything outta this here lil’ speech remember that this last part.” Applejack finished her speech and got off her sisters bed. “Now, ya’ll got any questions?”
“Um, not really, not right now.”
“Cool! Then Applejack, wanna go see what the other girls are doing?”
“Sounds good Rainbow. Race ya to the Library?”
“Oh, you’re on!” replied Rainbow, as she spat into her hoof, with Applejack doing the same, and they clapped their hooves together. Just as Applejack was to leave her sisters room, she heard her sister speak up.
“Uh, Applejack, thanks. Thanks fer tellin’ me this.”
“You’re welcome. See ya later, Bloom.”
“Yeah, see ya kid!” Rainbow shouted. Her voice muffled indicated she was already down stairs.
“Hey, Applejack, you comin’ or what!” Rainbow Dash shouted impatiently.
“Hold yer horses, Ah’m comin’!” Applejack said, as she got to the bottom of the stairs.
As the two walked out to the front porch, Rainbow said to Applejack, “Are you sure you used the right words when you said ‘a pony you love’ and all that mushy junk?”
“Yeah, why?”
“Well, I’ve seen the way Spike and Apple Bloom look at each other. All I’m saying, is maybe you might have confused her a little bit back there.”
“Spike? With Apple Bloom? Nah!”
“I don’t know, I’m just saying.”
After a few seconds of awkward silence, Rainbow Dash said, “So, are we gonna race or what?”
“Yep, let’s go!” confirmed Applejack. As she and Rainbow took off down the rows of apple trees, Applejack took a glance back at the house, and thought to herself, “Apple Bloom and Spike together? Maybe…?”

Comments

[ping111]

Eww... AB? Shlicking?
Anyway, ^.
Good work.

[Ocean Drop]

awkwarrrrrrrddddddddd.....xD

But still a good story.

[VX]

UUGGGHHH I DONT WANT TO HEAR THIS AGAIN!

[Dinos4Ever]

417932 Well, I originally envisioned Apple Bloom catching Rainbow Dash and Applejack in bed, but then the stallion+mare talk would have made things difficult; having a hetero talk between with same sex couple. Then I envisioned that same situation but with Applejack and a stallion. But then I encountered problems with who. I thought perhaps Caramel, but some think of him as Applejack's cousin, which would have made things awkward. So I ended up going with Apple Bloom getting her hoof caught in the cookie jar (no pun intended), as the most likely scenario to go with.

[PolarBearMan]

Good story.

[Twystron500]

Oh, this is so hot, i'm losing vision in my left eye! *Blows semen all over computer screen.*

[Julyah]

-_-

im sorry, but no.

[Dinos4Ever]

418104 i53.tinypic.com/28gvvrp.jpg

[SuperPinkBrony12]

Looks like it's that time for Applebloom, I hope the poor filly dosen't get freaked out by it.

[Kawa]

"Can of worms" is now a euphemism.

[SiCk ScOpEz]

This is just...

t1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcR9suC54-F3D3VXFWerfUWszXEIBwLsokSuai6gRwckELOwggticUJj23KW

[ArmourFox]

I haven't had the talk in over a year. It has now been given to me by small colorful ponies. My day has been made.

[Meeester]

ha, awkward situation made incredibly funny by RD getting gut punched. well written!

[Dinos4Ever]

418878 Well, people have asked me for more ABxSpike shipping after The Greatest Adventure, so...maybe.

As for you, Kawa-

[Doxkid]

Welp, it's been a while since I saw a "The Talk" story, so this was about due.

I do believe this is the first AJ+ RD vs AB one though, so that's a plus.

[OF29]

Pretty funny and yet heartwarming.

[nonameguy0010]

Damn... I interpreted the title to be a talk about all of life, not that talk.
Holy shit.. am I sheltered or what? But yah.. I couldn't just stop reading after I was a few sentences in, I figured that "hey, I am already this far in, no use in stopping now."
Not a fan of clopfic but this was well written. But still... I think I coulda gone the rest of the week without reading this. lol

[Raynbow]

Now THIS is a good story. I like what some people's imaginations come up with. Nicely done.
Watch out for some randomly capitalized words though.

[FlippyandDiscord]

I really liked this. It's pretty hard to imagine Applebloom growing up, but that was really why I liked it so much.

Keep up the great writing!

[Tspaztic]

very nice slice of life story although rainbow dash was characterized as a bit of a whore :]
short and easy to read

[Starlight_Tinker]

That was both funny and quite sweet

So, are you planning a subsequent Spike/AB chapter? (I'm not suggesting a cloppy one, btw )

[Industrial]

Dat's some awkward bullsh!t right there m'boy

[food food food]

The funniest word of the day: Marestration.
Even the worst part of the month has been ponified!

[owtwem]

At first i thought "hmm, this could be funny" then i read about half way and

[The Iron Brony]

I think there should be a sequel where AB and Spike are hanging out a lot and saying innuendo-y things, and AJ gets really paranoid, and then one day they're in AB's bedroom, and it sounds like they're doing it, so AJ busts in and they have a perfectly rational explanation. Then AJ leaves, embarrassed, and AB's like "So... where were we?" Because that plot is totally original and has not been used by ever comedy fimfic ever *lying aj face*

[pahnazd]

What did I just read?
A bit more graphic than I'd bargain for in a pony fic, but this was pure gold
Congrats, have all my thumbs!

[Usagi1992]

419053
Yeah, and I think I know why...I think she was about to say something to the effect of "There are other routes you can take", as in, up the plothole.

[Razor Colorado]

I'm afraid I'm going to have to file a lawsuit against you because... My sides, they don't exist anymore.
But really, I lost my shit! Great job!