Chapter 176: Who's Ready To Get Wonderblasted?
MLP: FiM
Piercing the Heavens
By: Calm Wind
Chapter 176: Who’s Ready to get WonderBlasted?
“COME AT ME BRO! YOU AIN’T SHIT!”
Spitfire’s ears were bombarded by Air Mach’s voice the moment she opened the door to her room and stepped into the hallway.
She stood still as Air Mach slid to a halt and ducked as a pillow flew over his head.
“WHAT’S UP BRO!?” he bobbed his head back and forth. “What are ya aiming at, the moon?! OH SH—” he flinched but couldn’t move in time as a couch cushion plastered him right in the face and knocked him over.
“SCORE! Three points!” Lightning Streak’s voice came from down the hall.
Spitfire didn’t even bat an eye, standing calmly as Air Mach got up and continued down the hall, Lightning Streak chasing after him, scooping up the cushion as he pursued. Once they were out of sight, Spitfire was still staring straight ahead.
“Thank Celestia we have this whole block of the hotel to ourselves…” she said with a sigh as more assorted sounds of laughing, partying, and music started hitting her ears.
“What is this weak crap?!” Blaze’s voice came from two doors down. Blaze peaked into a room where music was coming from. “Windy, for fuck’s sake, we’re partying, not doing yoga! Turn the music up!”
The music suddenly got extremely loud. Surprise came flying out of the room, crashing into Blaze as the two were pressed to the wall opposite of the door.
“TOO LOUD, WINDY! TOO LOUD! FUCK!” Blaze shouted into the blasting tunes.
Spitfire was still staring straight ahead with little expression.
“Thaaaaaaat’s the first of many noise complaints tonight,” she said with another sigh as the music turned down enough to stop pushing Blaze and Surprise, but remained very loud.
“Aw, give it a rest, Spitty!” Fleetfoot giggled as she happily trotted up beside Spitfire and brushed against her. “Worry about all that later! It’s time to cut loose!”
Spitfire glanced at Fleetfoot, her eyes shifting down to see several bottles of wine tucked under her wings. She lifted an eyebrow and glanced back into their room towards the kitchen area.
“Where did you get all those?” she asked, flattening her brow.
“Swiped them from the bar in the lobby,” Fleetfoot grinned. Spitfire’s eye twitched.
“Swiped? As in, you stole them?”
“Possibly.”
“And… nopony saw you do it?”
“I’m pretty sure everypony saw me do it,” Fleetfoot shrugged and snickered. Spitfire flattened her mouth and exhaled sharply through her nose. “Here, I got this along the way too!” Fleetfoot held out a purple exotic bird and placed it on top of Spitfire’s head.
Spitfire blinked, shifting her eyes up as the bird tilted down to look at her upside-down.
“What, did you really think we were going to behave ourselves tonight?” Fleetfoot winked and cutely stuck her tongue out. She wound up and spanked Spitfire hard on the plot, causing her to yelp and jump slightly. The bird squawked and took off, flying into the hallway as Fleetfoot trotted out and opened her wings a little to showcase all the wine.
“HEY GUYS!” she yelled as she put a bounce in her step. “I RAIDED THE WINE BAR!”
Rambunctious cheers rang out as several popped out of rooms to follow her as she found a room to set up in and ducked into it.
Spitfire stood still for another moment, but eventually she couldn’t help but smile.
“Ah what the hell…” she said as she turned towards the room Fleetfoot went to. “Let’s party.”
“Wow, where do we even start?” Thunderlane chuckled as he walked in front of Dash, Matteo, Twister, and Star. He peeked into the rooms one by one as they passed. Wonderbolts were gathered in several of them, some of them were playing music, and nearly all of them had cider. There didn’t really seem to be any particular direction anything was going in, it was just lots of fooling around, alcohol consumption, and clashing music of genres and styles that differed from room to room.
It reminded Dash of the party after her recruit graduation party, just in a hotel instead of Fleetfoot’s Canterlot home.
“The music is too loud,” Matteo randomly complained. Dash was only halfway through glancing in his direction before Star spoke up.
“You’re more than welcome to go back and sit in silence with Mr. Shiny McGrump-Face if you want,” she said in a very miffed tone.
“I did not say I disliked it, I just said it was too loud,” Matteo clarified calmly.
“HRMPH!” Star grunted, puffing her cheeks out as she kept her eyes forward.
Matteo and Thunderlane glanced at one another, neither of them daring to address Star’s mood. Dash reached out and grabbed Twister by the head before he could slither his body towards Star and do anything to annoy her. She stuffed his head under her wing and clamped down, causing him to flail and release a muffled scream, but she would save Star the annoyance.
She had just brought up Squall without any provocation, and it wasn’t a surprise after the little altercation they had had before they left to join the rest of the Wonderbolts. Star was insisting that Squall stop avoiding them and come to the party, but despite her best efforts he refused to look at her and it ended with a lot of angry yelling between them both. Needless to say, it was a complete disaster and Dash decided to get her away from him instead of trying to make anything of the situation in its state.
But while Matteo and Thunderlane were being a little more wary of the little ball of anger trotting with them, Dash didn’t pay it much mind aside from holding Twister back. She barely even glanced in Star’s direction. The Squall and Star problem was something important she had to address, but…
“Dash?” Thunderlane said her name.
No response. Dash’s eyes remained forward, slightly shifting. Thunderlane blinked and tried to follow Dash’s eyes, but all he saw ahead of them were Fire Streak and Misty Fly. Misty was riding on Fire’s back, silently laughing while holding a cider in the air while the two of them made their way towards one of the bustling rooms. After a couple of glances, Thunderlane couldn’t tell that’s where Dash’s eyes were, in a mostly vacant and blank stare.
“Equestria to Rainbow Dash, come in Rainbow Dash,” Thunderlane waved a wing in front of her eyes, but still got no reaction.
Twister suddenly popped up on the other side of Dash wearing a pilot helmet and flight mask.
“KSHHHHT, this is Milli Vanilli Chilly Willy to Rainbow Dash, come in Rainbow Dash!” he sounded like his voice was coming through a speaker.
“The f—” Thunderlane blinked and was nearly shoved to the wall as Twister popped up in between him and Dash with a different color helmet.
“KSSSHHHHT, I’m getting no response from Rainbow Dash either. Do you have a visual, Purple Fluffer Nutter?”
“Who are you talking t—”
Thunderlane flinched as Twister vanished and popped up again right in front of Matteo, behind Dash with another different colored helmet.
“KSSSSHHHHT, she must be below radar, give chase. I wanna see a major display of low level flying. Topper, Kent, you’re up first!"
Matteo casually balled up one set of talons and slammed them down over Twister’s head. After a loud BONK, the helmet remained in place while Twister’s body got completely sucked into it. The helmet fell to the ground and started rolling along the floor at the same pace they were walking.
Dash blinked.
“Bwuh? Huh?” she glanced around.
“Wow,” Thunderlane chuckled. “You didn’t see any of that?” he pointed to Twister’s rolling helmet. “You must be really out of it.”
“Ah, no, sorry…” Dash exhaled. “Guess I’m just a little tired,” she said as her eyes landed on Fire and Misty again. Misty rolled off Fire’s back, grabbed his arm, and tugged him into one of the rooms with others. Dash sighed, scrunching up her mouth slightly, but quiet grumbling from Star drew her attention away.
Dash glanced down and the subtly fuming Star.
“Don’t let him get to you,” Dash said, assuming Star would know what she meant. But she never found out because Star just kept grumbling to herself.
“You should have let me confront him,” Matteo chimed in, once again making his case, but Dash shook her head.
“Matty, no. I wasn’t going to open that can any further than it already had been. We’re supposed to have fun tonight and I didn’t want to ruin it,” she explained, glancing at Star again as her grumbling got louder. “Come on, we need to get Star a drink.”
“PLEASE,” Star agreed sharply.
“WHO’S READY TO GET TRASHED?!” Fleetfoot’s voice came from the same room Fire and Misty walked into.
“There.” Star pointed at the room. “We’re going there.”
Dash flinched and hesitated for a step or two, causing Matteo to bump right into her. Matteo glanced down and lifted an eyebrow, but Dash quickly got back up to pace, following behind Thunderlane and the rolling Twister helmet as they kept up with Star’s eager steps. Dash failed to not look suspicious at all as she ended up almost knocking Thunderlane aside while passing by him quickly, placing herself right behind Star as they turned into the room.
Dash came to an abrupt halt once again as she stepped into the doorway. Star kept moving, but Dash was locked in place, her eyes growing wider as she saw not only Fire and Misty, but also Spitfire and Wave Chill. Other Wonderbolts were present as well, but Dash’s eyes kept darting between these two particular pairs.
“HUE.” Twister suddenly appeared behind Dash, the size of Matteo and shaped like a rectangular prism that fit perfectly through the doorway. His lower jaw shot outward and smacked Dash in the plot, forcing her stumbling into the room and nearly stepping on Star. Dash blinked, shaking her head out as she stood upright and flinched as she found herself less than an inch away from the eager grin of Fleetfoot.
“Dashie! Glad you could make it!” she giddily greeted. “And perfect timing too! Come on over here!” she beckoned, but grabbed Dash by the arm and tugged her over to the other Wonderbolts. “We’ve got more than cider tonight folks!” She called to the group as she dragged Dash all the way up to the bar counter of the room’s kitchen and presented at least twenty bottles of fancy looking wine.
Spitfire lifted an eyebrow and scanned all the bottles.
“Wait… that’s way more than you were carrying…” she pointed out.
“Never said I made only one run!” Fleetfoot bounced her eyebrows at her. “By the way, if security comes looking for me, tell them I’m already on the train to Canterlot.”
“Dandy…” Spitfire rolled her eyes.
“COME ON!” Little Star’s voice suddenly boomed from below everypony else. Spitfire and Fleetfoot looked over to see several of the Wonderbolts look down and move aside.
“Whoa, short-stack on a warpath!” Lightning Streak yelled, several Wonderbolts chuckling as Star forced her way forward.
“I don’t have all night!” she yelled as she pulled Spitfire’s legs out of her way and hopped up by the wine bottles.
“Eager, huh?” Fleetfoot smirked. “Here let me—”
Before Fleetfoot could reach for a glass to pour for Star. Star grabbed one of the bottles of red wine, popped it open and jammed it into her mouth, taking several large gulps directly from it.
“Whoooooaaaaa!!!!” several Wonderbolts all burst out, several laughing and a few jokingly pushing back on others as Star chugged.
“GLARGH!” Star coughed as she finished a third of the bottle in one. “THIS… IS MINE!” she declared, grabbing a glass as she tucked the bottle and flittered into the air over to a couch.
“Yikes,” Fleetfoot blinked as she and Spitfire stared blankly. “Who shat in her oatmeal this morning?”
The two looked towards Dash, who was clearly unprepared.
“Uh…” Dash blinked and awkwardly tilted her head. “Long story. Squad issue.”
“Hm?” Spitfire lifted an eyebrow as she glanced in the direction of Dash’s crew. She shifted back and forth slightly, but then it hit her. “Oh, oh right…” she shook her head. “Thunderlane’s been sticking around and following you, I keep mistaking him for Squall.” She paused briefly and looked back at Dash. “Is Squall even here by the way? I don’t think I’ve seen him with you anywhere since we arrived.” Spitfire asked.
“Again, long story,” Dash said with a sigh.
“We’re working on it,” Matteo suddenly said from directly behind Dash.
“I’M… working on it…” Dash quickly corrected him after her nerves calmed down from him startling the hell out of her… again.
Spitfire looked back and forth between the two of them.
“I won’t ask,” she gave in with a shrug.
“Does it have to do with se—?”
Spitfire quickly forced Fleetfoot’s mouth shut.
“And she won’t ask either,” she assured Dash while giving Fleetfoot a firm glare as she gave a goofy look in return.
“What kind of wine do you have here?” Matteo asked as he moved by Dash to examine the bottles.
“I have no idea!” Fleetfoot giggled as she pulled away from Spitfire and made her way back around the counter. “But I’ll pour ya a glass, fluffy!” she cooed with a wink as she grabbed the first bottle she could reach.
Dash took a step back as Matteo waited patiently and Thunderlane made his way over towards some of the stallions to grab himself a cider. She stood still, staring straight ahead rather vacantly. Nearby, Spitfire had turned to Wave Chill, but he was looking by her.
“Hm? Is something up with Rainbow Dash?” Wave Chill asked Spitfire, motioning his cider occupied hoof towards her. Spitfire glanced over her shoulder, looking at Dash curiously. She hoofed her wine glass over to wave as she broke away from him and approached, waving a hoof in front of Dash’s eyes.
“Dash?”
“AYE!” Dash slammed her eyes shut and took a step back.
“Spacing out there, you tired?” Spitfire asked.
“A little I guess…” Dash said rather unconvincingly, but Spitfire didn’t seem to notice. “I’m fine.”
Spitfire looked her up and down as Wave approached behind her, balancing Spitfire’s wine glass on his wing.
“Got some things on your mind still, huh?” Spitfire guessed, but Dash didn’t answer, her throat tightening as Wave came into view. “I don’t blame you, I’m the same way,” she said as Wave placed a hoof on her shoulder and she briefly glanced back to smile at him. “I’m doing my best to just not think at all, but it’s hard not to. It’s not like we’re actually on vacation, we have things ahead of us and really wish I had more of a grapevine to anything Descent’s scouts are finding… but I don’t, and I don’t think we’re gonna get much time to relax, so I’m just enjoying it while I can.” Spitfire blinked and glanced towards the door. “Has anyone seen Descent by the way? Somepony drag his ass here, I wanna see what he’s like drunk.”
The way she made casual conversation with Dash felt good. Dash was happy that Spitfire was making a solid effort to be more friend than commanding officer like she promised, but that wasn’t what was on Dash’s mind at all… and she didn’t have the heart to contradict Spitfire at this given moment.
After retrieving her wine glass from Wave she smiled at Dash and made a head motion towards the counter.
“Here, come grab a drink,” she suggested.
“Oh uh… no thanks,” Dash put up a hoof and shook her head.
“Hm? Don’t drink?” she asked, tipping her head and smirking. “Soarin is definitely rubbing off on you,” Spitfire trailed off and her eyes went wide. “No, Fleet. That’s NOT what I meant!”
“What?” Fleetfoot’s voice came from further back. “What did you say?”
“I know you heard me! Cut it out!” Spitfire pressed.
“I’m innocent, I swear!” Fleetfoot added with a chuckle.
“I mean,” Dash rubbed the back of her head. “I could, I just haven’t in a while. More out of habit and yeah I think Soarin is a part of that.”
Spitfire flinched and nearly spilled her wine as Fleetfoot suddenly slid in from the side and pushed against her, smiling towards Dash with a wine glass in her hoof.
“No time like the present then, amirite?” she giggled and took a sip of her glass, Matteo casually moving by behind her with his own glass as he sat down nearby.
Dash looked towards Matteo as Spitfire began grinding her hoof against Fleetfoot’s head for almost getting her wine all over her.
Matteo didn’t drink immediately. He examined the wine closely, swirled it in the glass and took a long whiff of the aroma.
“Hm…?” Matteo tipped his head as if noticing something. He took a small sip and looked up, licking the edges of his beak as he tasted it. “What? Zangiovese?!” he suddenly exclaimed, his eyes wide as he looked at the wine.
“Gesundheit,” Fleetfoot said as she peered over her own glass.
“Let me see that bottle!” Matteo suddenly sounded very eager, startling Fleetfoot as she reached towards her.
“Uh… ‘kay?” Fleetfoot hoofed over the bottle, Matteo snatching it quickly and scanning the label, his beak hanging open slightly.
“How in the… this is Griffonese wine!” he exclaimed in disbelief.
“Huh, neat,” Fleetfoot tipped her head, going for another drink, but nearly spat it out as Matteo jammed the bottle into her face.
“Look, right here, on the bottle! The Haast Winery’s seal!” he pointed at a specific design that appeared to be crafted directly into the glass of the bottle.
“Could you elaborate already so I can get back to throwing down?!” Fleetfoot placed a hoof over her wine glass and held it away while hissing at him.
“Finding it outside of the Empire is impossible! We don’t export it anywhere,” Matteo kept staring in awe as Fleetfoot scooted away and finally took another drink.
“Well,” Spitfire spoke up from nearby. “This hotel is owned by Fancy Pants so… knowing him he found a way to get it here.”
“That’s… impressive…” Matteo put down the bottle and took another sip of the wine. “Just like home… Fancy Pants must have some intriguing connections to make such a transaction.”
Spitfire flattened her brow and huffed as she looked towards Fleetfoot.
“What?” Fleetfoot asked with a light shrug.
“So you didn’t just steal some wine…” Spitfire looked at the wine in Fleetfoot’s hoof. “You stole some extremely rare, expensive wine?”
“And this funny-looking lamp.” Fleetfoot reached out and pulled over a fancy stand-up lamp with three shades that Spitfire recognized from the lobby.
“Of course…” Spitfire said with an eye twitch before taking a big drink from her wine glass.
“Anywho-how-now…” Fleetfoot scooted back over to Dash, who was staring at the wine bottles a few paces away. “C’mon Dashie, I know you don’t usually drink, but we’re on vacation.” Fleetfoot kept looking at Dash as Spitfire cleared her throat loudly. “As I said, we’re on vacation, no matter what Spitfire says otherwise,” she reaffirmed with a wink. “So kick back with us! You know it will be fuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnnnn!” she coerced while wiggling her almost empty glass in front of Dash’s face.
Dash stared at the wine for a few moments, glancing around to see the rest of her crew all with a drink in their hoof or talon.
What would it hurt? It wasn’t like she had to get completely wasted or anything.
“Eh… okay, why not,” Dash agreed with a smile.
“That’s the wine and spirit!” Fleetfoot giggled happily as she started pulling Dash back towards the wine table. Fire Streak and Misty Fly were at the table, looking over the bottles with Lightning Streak and Wave Chill standing nearby with ciders in hoof.
“Hm… let’s see…” Fire said to himself as he rubbed his chin and looked over the bottles.
Lightning nudged Wave and made a head motion towards Fire. The two watched.
“This one looks good,” Fire said as he grabbed a bottle of white wine.
“WHHOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaaaa…” Lightning suddenly reacted, causing Wave to snort and spit out some of his cider. Fire blinked and looked towards both of them, seeing his brother furrowing his brow and pursing his lips as Wave coughed, trying to regain his breath.
“What?” Fire asked, lifting an eyebrow.
“Bro, white wine? Really?” Lightning asked, tilting his head.
“What’s wrong with white wine?” Fire asked.
“Gonna have to ask you to hoof over your stallion card,” Lightning chuckled while making a beckoning motion with his hoof. Fire scrunched his face up.
“Oh, shove it,” he retorted, but focused on Wave still snickering. “Commander… not you too…”
“Sorry,” Wave snorted, while shrugging. “He’s… not wrong. It’s kind of a mare thing.”
“This is news to me,” Fire rolled his eyes. “I happen to like white wine so you can both…” he trailed off as he looked around at other Wonderbolts in the room. Among all those who had gotten some wine from Fleetfoot, not a single stallion among them had white, only red. The mares on the other hoof… “Really? How have I never heard of that?”
“What was that?!” Lightning yelled out, turning his ear towards Fire. “Sorry bro! Can’t hear ya over the sound of your schlong vanishing!”
“You know what, forget it…” Fire groaned, shaking his head as he reached for the white wine anyway. “I’ll drink this and enjoy it thank you very mu—”
He was cut off as Misty suddenly reached out and grabbed his arm. Fire turned to see her giving him a VERY loud pair of bedroom eyes. She had a bottle of red wine tucked under one wing, and two wine glasses balanced on her other wing. Fire remained still as Misty slowly ran her hoof up his arm, over his chest, and all the way up to his chin, bouncing her eyebrows as she gripped his chin and started pulling him towards a couch nearby while biting her lip.
Her intention couldn’t have been clearer. Fire smirked.
“Apologies, brother!” Fire called back as he was led away. “It appears one of us will be busy tonight!”
Lightning blinked and stared with wide eyes as several Wonderbolts wooed in the direction of Fire and Misty, others invoking the amount of burn that had just plastered Lightning in the face.
“Well… shit…” Lightning finally spoke up.
“He got you there,” Wave said while nudging him in the shoulder.
“WOOOOOOOOO!” Fleetfoot cooed loudly as she watched Misty drag Fire away. “Better brace yourself, Fire Stud! She looks in the need!” She yelled as she and Dash made it to the table, taking them both right through the path of Lightning Streak. “One side, Blue Balls,” Fleetfoot smarmily commented as she bumped her flank against Lightning’s to push him out of the way.
“Maaaaaan…” Lightning tipped his head back and turned. “I’m just gonna go stand over here…”
“No walking the dog in the corner now!” Fleetfoot taunted again, but Lightning just kept shuffling away.
“Harsh there, Fleet,” Wave winced as he looked back and forth between them.
“Oh, please,” Fleetfoot lifted her brow. “As if the way he acts doesn’t invite a swift kick in the junk once in a while?”
“Eh? Can’t really argue against that…” Wave admitted.
As Fleetfoot and Wave conversed, Dash didn’t hear a word of it, nor did she take notice of how hard the pendulum swung back into Lightning’s face. She hadn’t taken her eyes off of Fire and Misty, even as Fleetfoot continued to drag her.
Misty had pulled Fire down onto a couch, setting up the wine and the glassed on the table. She kissed him REALLY hard for a few seconds before placing herself in his lap and grabbing the wine and glasses to pour them drinks. And once the wine started flowing, there would no doubt be more public displays of affection of increasing intensity…
“ALRIGHT!” Fleetfoot suddenly yelled out, causing Dash to flinch and come back to reality. “Take your pick, Dashie!” Fleetfoot motioned to all the wine.
Dash looked down and stared at all the wine bottles. She didn’t even know where to start.
“Uh…” Her eyes darted back and forth. “What… kinds are there?” she asked.
“We have…” Fleetfoot looked down and stared, scanning the bottles herself. Her eyes landed on the Zangoivese, briefly. “We have… uh… Zam…bol…areese.”
“Zangiovese,” Matteo corrected her from nearby.
“That one!” Fleetfoot pointed at him, and quickly looked back at the bottles. “And…” she went quiet, her eyes darting about. She grabbed some of the bottles, looking closely at the names on the labels. She tipped her head back and forth and her brow lifted and fell as she picked up one bottle after the other. She got to the last bottle and stared really carefully at the labels and fancy names, sticking her tongue out and flicking it up and down as she furrowed her brow. “Red and White!” she presented while slamming the bottle down and motioning her hooves to all of them with a nervous grin.
“Could always just get a cider!” Thunderlane suggested as he trotted by behind Dash with a cider in hoof. Dash nodded.
“You know, yeah, I think I’ll just have a…” she trailed off as Fleetfoot suddenly gave her big, teary, puppy dog eyes and a pout. Dash scrunched her face and exhaled. “Oh… alright, I’ll have…” she looked at the bottles. “This one.” She touched one of the bottles and turned it to read the label. “Um… ‘Pie not no ire?’”
“Pinot Noir,” Matteo corrected.
“What the wine expert said,” Dash agreed, making a subtle head motion towards Matteo.
“Excellent choice!” Fleetfoot exclaimed happily, rebounding back to a bundle of happy in an instant as she poured Dash a glass and gave it to her.
Dash just stared at the wine.
“Well, don’t just stand there! Go relax! Enjoy the music!” Fleetfoot urged. The moment she said it, the music blaring from the hall suddenly got about ten times louder.
“WINDY!!!!!!” Blaze’s voice came from the hall. “THE OTHER WAY! TURN THE VOLUME DIAL THE OTHER WAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY!!!”
“From five rooms over!” Fleetfoot added casually. “Wow, how hasn’t Winds gone deaf from that?” she asked while staring at Blaze and Surprise flying by the doorway.
Dash was still staring at the wine, but quickly turned, keeping her eyes down as she moved towards the couch by a window where her friends were gathered. Star was sitting on the end of the couch with her bottle and glass, looking miffed. Thunderlane was still mostly hovering around nearby, Matteo had broken away to mingle, and she had no idea where Twister was. Without a second thought, Dash made her way over and sat in the middle of the couch next to Star, her eyes returning to the wine.
She took a slow sip, the taste catching her off-guard, but it was just a little unexpectedly tart. Rarity drank this stuff all the time, so she could handle it no problem. She started to slowly nurse it, taking small drinks at a time to take it slowly, slowly glancing towards Star. She was firmly wedged in between the cushion and the arm rest. She was quietly grumbling to herself and her glass was almost empty. The wine bottle was tucked away in a spot Dash couldn’t quite see clearly, so she didn’t know how much Star had yet, but she looked slightly buzzed already.
Dash started looking the other way, but her eyes landed on Misty and Fire across the room again. Misty was practically attached to him at this point. Dash quickly averted her eyes and gritted her teeth.
“Damn,” Lightning Streak’s voice came from near the door, the loud music still blaring from the hall. “Has Winds blown out any windows yet?”
Twister suddenly popped up beside him and slung an arm over his shoulder.
“Welp! Don’t wanna disappoint ya, chum!” He reached in between his legs and slowly pulled out a very long and very large alphorn, forcing several Wonderbolts to duck as he swung it around the room and slammed it to the floor with the open end directly in front of the window next to Little Star.
Twister took a massive breath, his chest inflating like a balloon as he inhaled for several seconds.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, WHOA, WHOA!!!!!!” Spitfire started moving towards the horn, but she wasn’t close enough to make it in time.
Dash sighed, placing her wine down on the coffee table in front of her. She casually stood up and walked around Star towards the horn, reaching into it. Twister lunged forward to blow into the mouthpiece, but the moment his lips touched it, he instead got completely sucked into it. A loud comical wheezing noise filling the room as his body compressed and was forced into the horn mouthpiece. All the Wonderbolts watched with a mixture of confusion and horror, but then Dash simply yanked him out the other end of the horn, holding him by the neck. Twister’s head spun like a top as Dash moved back towards the couch and sat down, keeping a firm grip on his neck the whole way. The moment she was back on the couch, Twister’s head stopped, staring right at her with a wide smile.
“Hey lady, ya need a blow?”
“No.” Dash thrust her arm down, forcefully stuffing Twister in between the couch cushions.
“GERONIMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooo…” Twister’s voice slowly faded, sounding like he was falling a very long way as he completely disappeared into the couch.
Dash picked up her wine glass and took another sip. She perked up as she saw everypony in the room aside from Matteo, Thunderlane, and Star looking at her silently.
“What?”
“HEY!” Surprise suddenly yelled as half her body lowered down from inside one of the lampshades of the lamp Fleetfoot stole.egret “DID SOMEPONY SAY STOLEN WINE?!” She exclaimed as she dropped to the floor, the lampshade popping off and landing on her head like a hat. Dash pointed at her.
“You guys deal with her every day and you thought that was weird?” she asked. Surprise looked back and forth, blinking.
“What did I miss?” she asked as Twister’s head slowly peeked out from the top of the lampshade on her head. His hooves suddenly reached down and covered her mouth. “MRRRRRF!”
“Shhhhhhhhhhh…” Twister shushed as he slowly pulled her into the lampshade. It lowered to the floor as she vanished into it, Twister dropping back into it as well. After remaining on the ground for a moment, a small propeller sprouted out of the top, puttering quietly as it lifted off and began floating around the room in circles.
Everypony kept their eyes on it, Wave eventually shuffling over towards Dash.
“Is she going to be okay in there?” he asked.
“Wait for it,” Dash answered calmly without even looking at it.
The lampshade suddenly started shaking and sputtering. The sound of rubbery slapping came from inside of it as it shook.
“OUT!” Surprise’s voice yelled out as Twister was launched out of the bottom so hard that he flattened to the floor like a pancake with a low, drawn out fart noise. Surprise stuck her head out and glared angrily at him, holding out a rubber chicken and shaking it towards Twister. “Touch me like that again and Mr. McCluck is going somewhere you WON’T find him!” she threatened while stretching out the rubber chicken and making jabbing motions towards Twister.
She pulled herself back into the lampshade, flying it over to the wine table. She reached a hoof down and grabbed a bottle, pulling it into the lampshade with her before it turning and puttering through the air out the door.
“Well, that just happened…” Fleetfoot broke the silence, taking a large swig of wine as everypony slowly regained themselves.
Dash finally looked down at Twister as he re-inflated, but remained on the floor on his back.
“Well Twister, what do you have to say for yourself?” she asked.
“Nose Rub…” Twister said in a low hushed voice as a jar of vapo-rub tumbled out of his hoof and clattered to the floor.
“Thought so,” Dash sat back and took another sip of her drink.
Outside the room, the music from the hall got very loud again, but was abruptly cut off by a loud crash followed by yelling and lots of swearing.
“Noise and damage fees…” Spitfire mumbled to herself with a groan.
“No biggie…” High Winds said with a yawn as she walked by the open door. Blaze had Winds’ tail clamped in her teeth, trying to stop her as her hooves skidded along the floor. “All these rooms have sound systems…”
Less than a minute later the music started again from a different room.
Spitfire sighed, gripping her mostly full wine glass and taking a long gulp from it.
“Blah…” she stuck her tongue out after swallowing, shaking her head back and forth due from the wine’s kick.
“You want me to go stop her?” Wave asked with a chuckle as he moved up beside her.
“NO.” Spitfire grabbed him and held him firmly in place. “You’re staying right here,” she stated firmly before taking another large gulp of her wine, finishing off the whole glass. “Oh gawd this stuff is strong…” she said as she exhaled and bent down slightly.
“Watch out Chilly!” Fleetfoot giggled bounced up beside Wave. “A few more drinks and she’s coming for your willy!”
“MINE!” Spitfire grabbed Wave and yanked him away from Fleetfoot while snorting at her. Wave stumbled, almost falling over as Fleetfoot giggled madly.
“Whoooooooa easy there!” she snickered. “Relax, Spitty, I ain’t taking Cold Buns from you!”
“You better not,” Spitfire gave her the stink eye, clearly a little buzzed from the wine.
“Hrm…” Dash hummed, looking away from the three of them and down at her wine again. Could she just stop already? She was making it worse and she had no one to blame but herself.
She took another sip of her wine, instead looking towards Star beside her. Her eyes widened as she saw Star about to pour herself another glass, and the bottle was more than half empty.
“Whoahoho there…” she reached over and stopped her from pouring. Star just kept her eyes locked on the glass. “You need to slow down.”
Star just kept staring at the glass.
“You’re going to start stumbling around any moment at this rate,” Dash added.
“Just leave me alone…” Star said quietly with a heavy sigh. Dash blinked, hearing the clear sad tone in her voice. She gently took the wine bottle out of Star’s hoof and placed it on the coffee table before sitting back and taking a sip of her wine. Star was just sitting still in the same position.
“Don’t let Squall get to you,” Dash said as she clasped her wine glass gently in her hooves and swirled it gently.
“Sure is easy for you to say, isn’t it…?” Star mumbled. Dash blinked and stopped swirling her wine.
“Hey now…” Dash furrowed her brow as she turned to look at Star.
“Oh, don’t even try!” Star wailed a little, leaning back into the cushion.
“Star, stop that,” Dash said firmly as Star groaned. “I’m on your side here, you know.”
“Yeah, yeah, sure, great…” Star grumbled, leaning forward and grabbing the wine bottle off the table. Dash made a motion to reach for it, but stopped, letting Star pour herself more wine. “But that doesn’t mean you understand…” Star added, taking a very large swig of her newly poured wine.
Dash looked Star over carefully. She didn’t like the tone Star was taking with her but… she knew it was about Squall and not about her. Was probably a bit of the alcohol talking too, so she didn’t take it personally.
“Fine, if you’re going to be like that, we won’t talk about him,” Dash conceded and started to look the other way.
“Should I go reprimand him now?” Matteo’s voice came from right beside her. Dash nearly launched to the ceiling when she realized Matteo was sitting on the other side of her.
“FUGGINFGHPHERSH!!!!!!!” Dash was lucky she didn’t spill any of her wine as her body flinched and jittered. “Could… you… PLEASE… give us some sort of warning when you’re coming from now on?!” she yelled up at him as he held a straight face.
“All I did was sit down,” he said, lifting an eyebrow as Thunderlane joined them while chuckling.
“Then tap the wall!” Dash demanded. “Snap your talons! Or I dunno, you’re a bird, give us a chirp or something!”
“I do NOT chirp…” Matteo snorted, furrowing his brow. “I’m a griffon, not a bird.”
The moment he said it, the exotic bird from the lobby landed on the shadeless lamp right behind him. Dash’s eyes grew wide and her cheeks puffed out.
“What?” Matteo turned to look behind him and froze, coming face to face with the bird. Just like their first meeting, the bird placed a foot on Matteo’s face and turned its head upside-down. “You have GOT to be kidding me…”
“There’s enough bird in there to attract other birds, apparently,” Thunderlane commented with a chuckle.
Matteo opened his beak and hissed at the bird. It pulled back, but only a little, putting up its crest feathers and bouncing up and down.
“Looks like he was ready for it this time,” Thunderlane added as Dash tried and failed to hold her breath.
Matteo threw up his own crest feathers, glaring and hissing louder and he head-faked at the bird.
The bird squawked and flew off.
Dash and Thunderlane both burst out laughing as Matteo’s crest feathers slowly lowered back down to his head.
“So are you going to admit there’s a lot of bird in you now?” Dash asked as she tried not to spill her drink.
“No,” Matteo huffed as he furrowed his brow and stared straight ahead.
“Guilty as charged then,” Thunderlane poked him in the side. Matteo sharply turned his head to him, leaned down, and repeated the movement, thrusting his head towards Thunderlane while hissing and putting up his crest. “Whoa, WHOA! Okay! OKAY!” Thunderlane chuckled as he slid to the other end of the couch.
Dash looked back at Star as she continued to quietly chuckle, hoping that the shenanigans were improving her mood. Instead she saw Star putting down an empty wine bottle, a nearly overflowing glass of wine holding the last of its contents.
“Okay no… Slow down.” Dash said as she took the wine glass out of Star’s hoof. Surprisingly, Star gave no resistance.
“Hrm…” Star groaned quietly as Dash placed the wine on the table out of her reach. A second later, Star slowly tipped towards Dash, leaning her head on her side. “Sorry… for being mean…” she apologized. Dash blinked and glanced at her.
“A minute ago? Don’t sweat it,” Dash gently pressed a hoof to Star’s opposite shoulder and rubbed it. “I know you’re pissed at Squall, not me,” she assured her while taking a sip.
“I hate him…” Star said in a slightly blubbery tone. Dash stopped mid sip, blinking before she swallowed, licked her lips, and focused on Star. “If he really cares about me so much… then why is he being such a dick to me?”
Dash wasn’t sure what to say. Well, actually, she knew exactly what she thought about it, but it didn’t feel like a good time.
“It’s called being in denial.” For Matteo on the other hoof, being blunt was always an option.
“Matty, hush,” Dash looked at him sternly.
“Am I wrong?” Matteo added as he glanced towards the two of them.
“Well…” Dash tilted her head. “No, but… just let me handle this, okay?” she suggested while patting Star’s shoulder again.
“No,” Matteo said flatly, earning a frustrated look from Dash, but he shook his head. “You can’t ‘mare-talk’ me out of this one,” he said rather sternly.
“Hrmngh…” Star groaned, tucking herself harder into Dash.
“See? You’re totally helping!” Dash said sarcastically.
“I’m talking about Squall, not her,” Matteo pointed out, pointing towards Star before Dash could say anything. “Squall is hiding from his own feelings in plain sight. When Gilda and I fought and drew blood with our talons, we were bound by tradition to fight to the death. But when I was primed to deliver the deathblow and she met me with her defiant, fearless eyes… the anger in my heart was vanquished, replaced by an overwhelming urge to show her mercy. Her adamant pride in the face of my strength that could so easily crush her touched me so deeply that I immediately accepted what I felt inside for her… damning the traditions of my kind, an act looked upon as the most shameful of actions. I did not hide from it, nor did I ignore it and kill her. Now I have a wife and a family I cannot imagine life without.”
“Whoa… HOLD ON!” Star suddenly pushed off Dash, pressing herself back against the armrest as she looked at Matteo with a disturbed expression. “You’re pushing this into certain territory way too fast!”
“I was gonna say,” Thunderlane chuckled from the other side of Matteo. “Around here we don’t go from killing to being married in a few seconds,” he joked, but Matteo ignored him, keeping his eyes on Star.
“You wish for him to admit he cares for you, do you not?” he asked.
“Well…” Star looked down, her lips quivering. “Yeah, but…”
“You expect us to believe your intentions are not those of affection?” he pressed.
Star kept looking down, her face scrunching up and turning red as she puffed her cheeks out and pressed her little hooves against them.
“I stand by my words,” Matteo nodded and returned to his drink. He took a sip and glanced down at Dash, staring up at him quietly. “Still believe I shouldn’t be the one to confront him?”
“Hey, hey… could you rewind for a second?” A new, familiar, and somewhat buzzed sounding voice came from the other side of Matteo. Dash blinked, leaning over as Matteo quickly turned around.
Thunderlane was frozen as stiff as he could possibly manage, eyes open wide. Fleetfoot was casually sitting on his lap, rump to pelvis, and leaning against his chest with what was definitely her third or fourth glass of wine in her other hoof as she stared at Matteo. There was a slight alcohol induced blush across her cheeks and nose, and she was either unaware (or very aware) of what she was doing to Thunderlane.
“You and your wife got together while trying to kill each other?” Fleetfoot asked. “Whew!” she whistled and sat up straight, causing Thunderlane to whimper subtly. “Griffons sure have some interesting kinks.”
“It. Is. NOT… a ki—!” Matteo angrily retorted, but Fleetfoot looked away before he could finish.
“Whoa! Heyyyyyyy!” she bounced off Thunderlane and started walking towards the door as Descent was dragged in by Lightning Dust. “What took you two so long?! Come on in! It’s party time!” she giddily explained as Descent continued to resist.
“Sweet Celestia…” Thunderlane sputtered, eyes still stuck open as his wings and body twitched. “She sat down right on my—”
“It’s not a kink.” Matteo grunted, repeating to himself gruffly as Dash snickered to herself. But her attention was quickly drawn back to Star as she felt a grip on her arm. Star was hugging it tightly, groaning to herself.
“I just want him to say it to me…” she said with her face half buried into Dash’s arm. Dash pouted, not really sure what else she could say. “Is that really so hard? He doesn’t have anything to hide from me, I heard it all…” she slowly slid off Dash’s arm and turned over, laying back and resting her head on Dash’s leg as she sighed heavily, a good chunk of her mane flowing over her eyes. “If he was scared about what I’d think, what’s holding him back now? It didn’t push me away!” she brushed her mane out of her eyes and shared up at Dash. “Can’t he see that? What’s the big deal?”
“That’s just how he is, Star,” Dash shrugged, reaching down and lifting her back upright and let her fall back against the couch. “You can’t assume he’d act like a typical stallion in this situation.” She looked at Star for a moment, then reached for the wine glass she took away from her and gave it back to her. Star clasped it in her hooves, but didn’t drink. “How has he acted every single time we either find something out about him or he slips up and lets something out he didn’t want to?”
“Mrgh…” Star mumbled.
“Hostile?” Thunderlane chimed in, leaning forward to see past Matteo.
“See?” Dash pointed at him. “Even Thunderlane knows and he hasn’t been around to see half of it.”
“But I still HATE IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!” Star suddenly wailed, throwing her head back and yelling. Dash flinched and quickly glanced around as several Wonderbolts looked in their direction. She reached over and shut Star’s mouth. “HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM…” her voice continued anyway. As soon as she stopped and Dash let go, she took a drink from her wine glass, spilling some down the side of her mouth by accident as she swayed. Dash leaned slightly to assist, but Star remained upright on her own. “And then he had to go and tell me to ‘buzz off’ before we came here…” Star added quietly. Dash sighed and took a small sip of her own wine.
“No, that didn’t help at all.” Dash nodded. “And I’m pissed at him for doing that to you. We know why he acts the way he does, but that isn’t an excuse to be a jerk.”
“He’s a coward,” Matteo bluntly interjected.
“Matty, don’t you st—” Dash stopped halfway into a glare she planned to focus on him. She paused, blinked, and took a long sip of her wine. “Okay, you know what? I can’t argue with that one,” she agreed.
“Care and connection are not a weakness,” Matteo went on. “They are not things to be ashamed of. This is something he needs to see and accept, and if you allow me to handle this, I’ll—”
“Okay, Matty, look…” Dash cut him off as if she was waiting for him to go down that path. She leaned forward and set down her glass before turning to face him and pressing her hooves together in front of her. “I’m going to explain something to you right now…” she flattened her brow and looked him in the eye sternly. “Because I feel like you have yet to understand my stance on this. There isn’t a single fiber of my being that is convinced you are somehow incapable of laying it thick right over the top of Squall’s head. What I’m questioning is whether or not that’s what he actually needs.”
“It’s exactly what he needs,” Matteo said flatly.
“You said he’d believe I’m just nagging him,” Dash huffed. “So tell me… what exactly would stop him from believing you’re doing the same thing?”
“I won’t be nagging,” Matteo stated firmly. Dash opened her mouth to retort, but stopped and scrunched up her face. She felt like she was going in a circle, again.
But then she looked at Star and… maybe it was a moment of clarity from the small buzz she had going on, but she suddenly felt like she had an answer.
“Actually, you know what? Neither of us can do this,” she poked Matteo.
“Hm?” he lifted his brow curiously.
“The only one who can actually get through to him here is—”
“OO! OO! I KNOW!” Twister suddenly popped out of Matteo’s feathers and waved his hoof in Dash’s face. “It’s so obvious!” he slithered around Matteo’s body like a snake and launched himself at Thunderlane.
“GAH!” Thunderlane yelped as his cider bottle twirled into the air but somehow landed upright on the arm rest without spilling a drop. Twister leapt out in front of the couch holding Thunderlane over his head.
“CLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEARLY…” Twister grinned very wide. “We need the one who has been gone for a whole, accidentally-too-long story arc!”
“I… what?” Thunderlane tried to wiggle out of Twister’s hooves but he appeared to be stuck.
“Yeah, this guy!” Twister bounced Thunderlane up and down. “You know, the one the author had to go back and shoehorn into this scene in random places because he forgot he was here with us!” he dropped Thunderlane. “And then he SHAMELESSLY inserted Fleetfoot being a tease for extra waifu exposure!”
Dash’s expression had not changed the entire time. She simply leaned forward and looked Twister in the eye.
“Twister, you’re going to go nowhere with this explanation and then suggest you be the one to do it,” she said in a flat tone.
Twister’s eyes grew extremely wide, his mouth flattened into a thin line that extended way past the boundaries of his face on both sides, and a muffled screeching sound came from inside his head as a blinking neon sign popped up behind him that read ‘internal screaming’.
“Should I be confused, worried, or both?” Thunderlane asked.
“IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII HAVE BEEN SLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMED!!!!!!!!!” Twister yelled out dramatically. Matteo quickly reached forward and pushed Thunderlane out of the way as gallons of green slime suddenly fell from above, pouring all over Twister. “REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!” Twister screeched as he fell onto his back and flailed around.
“Uh… thanks for the save,” Thunderlane said as he stood up and moved back next to Matteo.
“Think nothing of it,” Matteo nodded.
“AS I WAS SAYING…” Dash went on as Twister started log rolling all over the room and getting slime on other ponies. “Who really needs to take care of this isn’t you or me,” she said to Matteo.
“Then who?” Matteo asked with a snort.
Dash pointed at Star.
“Buh?” Star froze before taking a drink, one eye half closed. “I literally just tried, we all saw how that ended.”
“I really hate to bring him up, but…” Dash focused on Star. “When Ruin was effectively… torturing Squall with his own fears and feelings, there was something very important that he kept coming back to.”
“YES!” Twister suddenly appeared in front of them slime free, holding a large rolled up piece of bubble wrap. “He REALLY likes it when you take bubble wrap… AND CRUSH IT BETWEEN YOUR THIGHS!!!!!!” Twister jammed the bubble wrap between his legs and pressed his legs together. “HHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!” he overzealously grunted as loud pops sounded out. Matteo casually reached down and picked up Twister by the head, the bubble wrap dropping to the floor. “Oooo… Is that one of your kinks too?” he asked Matteo as he held him towards Thunderlane.
“Do me a favor and hold him steady,” Matteo ordered.
“Uh, okay?” Thunderlane agreed, clasping Twister’s head.
Matteo grabbed Twister’s body and pulled it way back, his neck stretching and making rubbery noises. After pulling back as far as he could, Matteo let go. Twister’s body snapped back, launching him from Thunderlane’s hooves across the room towards the entrance.
“WATCH OUT LADIES!” Air Mach bellowed as he stepped into the room from the hall with what appeared to be two large bell peppers hanging by a string from the base of his tail. “BIG PAIR OF STALLION BELLS COMING THROU—”
He was abruptly cut off as Twister crashed face to face with him, sending them both flying back into the hallway, slamming into and breaking down the door to the room opposite of it.
“ARE YOU FRIGGIN…,” Spitfire slammed a hoof over her eyes and groaned loudly as more crashing noises came from the other room.
“WOW! Good shot fluffy!” Fleetfoot cheered, showcasing the polar opposite reaction as she waved towards Matteo.
Matteo simply took a sip of his wine and nodded once as several Wonderbolts cheered and chuckled.
“Star, look at me,” Dash placed a hoof on her head, trying to keep her from being distracted. “Pay attention. I know this isn’t the best place to stay focused, but you’re in a mood when we should be having fun.”
“Focusing…” Star mumbled, taking a very large drink from her now almost empty wine glass. “And…” she twitched slightly and shook her head out, exhaling loudly. “And I think… I’m starting to feel it so… better make it quick,” she said, sounding a little more than buzzed at this point.
“One of the things Ruin highlighted more than once… was your persistence with Squall,” Dash quickly went on. Thankfully, Star was clearly still with her because she had a visual reaction. “He pushes others away. It’s almost like a reflex for him. He’s opened up to us a little bit here and there, but it’s never without some kind of hostility attached. Now tell me…” Dash poked her lightly. “Who ALWAYS pushed back on it? Who always tried to get through to him when the rest of us gave up otherwise?”
Star looked down at her glass, her lips scrunching up.
“You know who I’m talking about,” Dash winked.
“Hrm…” Star hummed. “Okay, yeah… I know I did, but… He’s being so much worse than usual. How am I supposed to feel when all the progress I thought I made suddenly doesn’t mean anything?”
“Who said it doesn’t?” Dash shrugged, leaning back into the couch beside her. “Don’t let a little bump in the road stop you. If he’s pushing harder, just push back harder too. That persistence is what he’s responded to, don’t give it up.”
Dash blinked as she heard a little glassy squeak. She looked down to see Star’s head down and her nose stuck all the way into her wine glass. She sighed heavily, the glass fogging up from the inside.
“Stop that,” Dash reached over, and pulled Star’s face out of her glass. “Look, I’m not gonna just throw you at him. I still plan to help a little, but ultimately you have to make the big move and let him know what all those things Ruin revealed meant to you. And if he throws it right back at you?” Dash punched a hoof into the couch. “Make sure he feels the whiplash real hard, get me?”
“I… okay…” Star murmured quietly.
“Food for thought,” Dash placed a hoof gently on her head and pressed lightly, Star sinking a tiny bit into the couch. “But we’ll take care of that later. Just kick back and relax tonight.”
“I need more wine.”
“No you…” Dash blinked. “You know what… I almost contradicted myself in ten seconds flat. Fleet! We need more—”
“Catch!” Fleetfoot’s voice came from nearby. Dash yelped, reaching out to catch an almost full wine bottle with one hoof while nearly dropping her own glass.
“Gimme,” Star made grabby hooves towards the bottle.
“I will if you take it slow. Let’s share this, not guzzle it…” she glanced at the bottle and noticed it was the wine Matteo had made such a scene over. “Even better… Matty?”
“Please,” Matteo agreed simply while holding his glass down for Dash to refill it.
Dash poured out the wine and held up her glass. She looked back and forth at Matteo and Star, then past Matteo at Thunderlane. She cleared her throat, grabbing all their attention as she held up her glass.
“Here’s to us making it out of so much crap alive,” she began with a chuckle, earning smiles from the rest of them. “May we keep stumbling like idiots with our heads cut off.”
Twister suddenly popped up in the group with them, his head was in one hoof, a giant mug of cider in the other.
“Way ahead of y’all!” he shouted proudly while bouncing his eyebrows. None of them batted an eye, not even Thunderlane, who leaned around and held up his cider.
“I only caught the end of it, but… what the hey… I’m glad to be back with you all. Cheers!” he nodded.
They all clinked their drinks together and took a drink, Twister stuffing the entire mug into his mouth, chewing and swallowing it before he started walking around and bouncing his head like a basketball. The rest kicked back and sank into the couch, Dash sighing and taking in the activity around as she continued to sip her wine.
Per usual, it was the typical Wonderbolt mixture of casual socializing with fun random silliness here and there… with Fleetfoot being the center of attention as she continuously made her way around and stuck her nose into everypony’s business. But that too was part of the usual. It looked like Squad Zero had arrived at some point. If not for Calm Wind sticking out above the rest, she probably wouldn’t have noticed, being slumped into the couch and all.
“Wonder how long that’s gonna last,” Dash chuckled as she pointed towards Calm looking down at others talking to him.
“Hm?” Matteo hummed as he followed Dash’s eyes.
“How did Shine, Bitz, and Swift drag him in here? Fleet’s voice is carrying halfway down the hallway.”
“I don’t follow?” Matteo asked as Dash blinked and glanced up at him.
“You’ve never seen her mess with him?”
“I don’t pay that close attention to every bit of fraternizing,” Matteo confirmed as he sipped his wine.
“Dunno if that’s the right word for it…” Dash tipped her head.
“What’s the right—?” Matteo started but he was cut off as Fleetfoot suddenly squealed and leapt up onto Calm’s back, cheering as she held a bottle of wine in the air. Calm froze in place, his eyes widening slowly.
“THE BLUE HORSIE RIDE IS HERE!!!!” she yelled while giggling. The alcohol was definitely starting to soften her up.
“Harassment,” Matteo answered his own question.
“I think he likes it,” Dash chuckled as she took another sip. “He’s just a big weenie.”
“Uh…” Thunderlane chimed in. “Nah, I think I know how he feels.”
“Really now?” Dash smirked and leaned to look past Matteo. “Enlighten me.”
“She kind of just sat on my lap a moment ago?” Thunderlane reminded Dash while puffing his cheeks up slightly. “And I’m pretty sure she specifically placed herself to… sheesh I’m lucky I didn’t…” he trailed off as he gritted his teeth and shivered.
“Salute?” Dash smirked.
“Dash, there’s no way you could understand…” Thunderlane let his head lean back. “I had THE sexiest Wonderbolt sitting on and leaning into me… When what was once only on magazine covers is suddenly rubbing herself on me, it’s kind of hard to not break.”
Dash lifted an eyebrow, then grinned smarmily at him.
“I’m telling Applejack,” she snickered.
“Nooooooo no no no, you won’t…” Thunderlane pseudo-pleaded as he kept his head leaned back and crossed his legs. “She’d squash my nuts into oblivion.”
“And I’d pay good bits to see that,” Dash chuckled as she took another sip.
“You’re evil… Hey, Matt, back up a fellow guy here,” Thunderlane appealed to Matteo.
“My wife would probably kill me in my sleep if I so much as glanced at another female griffon,” Matteo said with a straight face, causing Dash to nearly spit up her wine as Star ended up giggling weakly as well.
“Yikes, never mind…” Thunderlane cringed as he took a long drink from his cider bottle.
Dash continued to giggle to herself, amused at Fleetfoot’s effortless breaking of Thunderlane and the thought of Gilda extracting swift, harsh, and deadly revenge on Matteo… likely after bearing six more children for him at their current rate. She finished off her wine glass and exhaled, starting to feel a little warm and a perpetual grin appearing on her face as the alcohol began to take effect. Feeling good, she poured herself another glass, but kept it modest, only filling it up halfway.
Her eyes wandered around the room…
But she flinched and stared as her eyes landed on Misty and Fire. They were STILL on the other couch across the room… and it looked like both of them had gotten a little more than tipsy, Fire chuckling as Misty kept pushing him down on the couch, lying on top of him, and nuzzling her face into his neck like a cat.
Unlike before though, Dash couldn’t tear her eyes away. A lump built up in her stomach, one that told her to stop, but she couldn’t. Her eyes were fixated on Misty as she continued to be furiously affectionate towards Fire. At her current pace, she’d have him stuffed in between the cushions by the end of the night.
Dash slammed her eyes shut, forcing her head to turn and taking a big gulp of wine, emptying half the contents of her glass in one.
“Oog… ah…” she gasped, quickly feeling that wasn’t the best idea as the aroma went through her nose and cleared out her sinuses. She blinked, trying to refocus as her eyes eventually landed on Spitfire, but… Descent was talking to her?
Whispering seemed to be the better way to describe it. Spitfire had her head turned and her ear pointing towards him as he tipped towards it and spoke way too quietly for Dash to hear anything even though they really weren’t all that far away.
“Hrm…” Spitfire hummed, taking a quick sip of her wine. “Okay. Thanks, keep me posted.”
“I plan to,” Descent started to turn, but Spitfire reached out and grabbed him by the shoulder.
“Hold on there you… I appreciate the update, but you’re supposed to be letting the Renegades handle it,” she scolded him.
“I’m here, aren’t I?” he grunted.
“That’s a start, now grab a drink and enjoy yourself,” Spitfire ordered.
“No thanks.” Descent tried to be firm.
“Fleet!” Spitfire yelled.
Within seconds there was a bit of commotion and a loud THUMP, followed by ponies parting as Fleetfoot trudged over… pulling along Calm Wind by the mane, whose chin was on the floor as his back legs stumbled along.
“Get this broody grump some wine,” Spitfire pointed at Descent.
“I said I don—”
“Done!” Fleetfoot had a glass of red wine poured and in Descent’s hoof in the blink of an eye. “Enjoy!”
“Hrmf… fine…” Descent sulked, moving back towards Lightning Dust, who had been laughing at the whole exchange.
With Fleetfoot distracted, Calm slowly rose up and tried to shuffle away, but Fleetfoot grabbed his tail and wrapped it around her neck like a scarf. Calm froze in place again.
“Fleet, are you torturing him again?” Spitfire asked as she glanced at Calm and sighed.
“It’s his fault for being so big and silly, hee!” Fleetfoot giggled, followed by a very loud hiccup. She let go of Calm’s tail and quickly covered her mouth while blushing.
“I think you better slow down a little,” Spitfire suggested.
“Not in your life!” Fleetfoot giggled as Calm started shuffling away. “Hey! Get back here you!” she yelled, following him and picking up his tail in her mouth as he tried to get away.
“He doesn’t stand a chance.”
Spitfire perked up as Wave moved up beside her and gently brushed against her side. Spitfire watched Fleetfoot for a moment and tipped her head.
“You know… I actually think it wouldn’t hurt if he…” she trailed off.
“Hm?” Wave glanced at her, but she shook her head.
“Eh, nothing…” she shrugged and took another drink. “The alcohol is flowing, she’s gonna be getting real crazy soon.” She paused and looked him up and down.
“Yes?” Wave smirked.
“Get over here you,” Spitfire planted a kiss on his cheek before leaning most of her body weight against him.
“Whoa there… haha…” Wave chuckled as he shifted his weight to support her.
Dash’s throat tightened, shutting her eyes tight again and drinking down the rest of her wine in another large gulp.
“FNGRNN…” Dash cringed as the taste shot through her mouth.
“I’d recommend smaller sips. Zangiovese has a tangy kick with a bitter aftertaste,” Matteo suggested.
“Yeah I noticed…” Dash said sarcastically as she blinked a few times and grabbed the bottle. “I’ll have more.”
“Suit yourself,” Matteo resumed nursing his drink slowly.
Dash poured out another glass… and it wasn’t until she finished pouring a rather large helping did she decide this was probably the last. She already had more than she intended and she was feeling it. She wasn’t drunk by any stretch of the imagination, but she was definitely more than buzzed and her body was warming up considerably.
She looked out into the surrounding Wonderbolts again, doing her best to keep her eyes off the two couples, and the most attention grabbing shenanigans was easily Calm Wind stumbling around, bumping into others as Fleetfoot kept climbing up on him, and falling off over and over again. Though it looked like it was becoming a comedy scene, several Wonderbolts in stitches as Fleetfoot seemed determined to not let him get away.
Dash chuckled to herself, taking a small sip as she watched the ‘struggle’, but the longer she watched… the more her mind started wandering to something else entirely. Watching Fleetfoot, a relatively small mare, especially compared to the big oaf Calm… with the assistance of her wine buzz was making her think of her current stature compared to Soarin’s large form. She couldn’t stop the image from morphing into what she was thinking about. Fleetfoot was slowly replaced by her, and the bumbling Calm was slowly replaced by Soarin, the rest disappeared from around them and Calm’s blundering turned into Soarin jumping around with her, the two roughhousing and laughing.
At first the thoughts gave her mixed feelings. She was imagining Soarin the last way she saw him and outside of a particular dream she had, she had no idea how he was doing or how things were going with figuring out his condition. It felt empty for her without him here. The rest of the Wonderbolts just couldn’t fill the one particular void that was an elephant in the room for her.
She hoped that with Celestia’s and Sombra’s help that Soarin could soon be at least awake and aware… and the less time it took the better. This was… how many times now that he had been out of her reach? Or down and out in some capacity? She was getting really tired of being forced into this scenario. Hell, she was tired of bad stuff happening to him in general. She was almost more put off by how often he got his face dragged through the mud than the fact that he accidentally absorbed a goddess’ power that could really wreak havoc unchecked.
But… at the same time she was looking at another side of all of this, and it was probably in part thanks to the alcohol.
Soarin had been put through so much and he was still alive, he was tough as nails, and now… through his actions, had unwittingly turned himself into an actual god. She used to joke about him being one… mostly in bed just to egg him on and get him going… but to actually do it? Maybe he took her too seriously. While this was messed up and all… she couldn’t deny that she could now technically claim that her lover was a god, even if it was just temporary… hopefully.
Dash’s lips curled into a smile, staring vacantly forward as her imagination continued to shape a scene that included the two of them. Soarin, pumped up and massive in his new Alicorn body and Dash jumping on him and climbing on him…
“Heh… fun…” Dash quietly said to herself. “Hmmmmmm…” she hummed as she slumped down a little into the couch, her alcohol induced buzz growing a little stronger and thus, her imagination starting to steer in… another direction.
Extremely relaxed, feeling warm, weakened mental restraint, and thinking about Soarin shot her thoughts right to the dream she had recently. Yeah, the one where she woke up thigh crushing and biting a pillow.
“Hmm…” her face turned redder as the lighthearted roughhousing her thoughts were imagining shifted… and started becoming a bit more affectionate. She took another drink of wine, definitely more than a small sip as she continued to giggle to herself. “Soarin…” she said very quietly, but Star’s ears twitched, glancing at her briefly before returning to her own drink.
She… really wanted Soarin there with them right now. She wanted him there for more than a few reasons. Fire and Misty Fly, Spitfire and Wave Chill, she had been thinking about Soarin before they even arrived at the party and then the two big couples of the group kept sneaking their way into her view and she just wanted Soarin more.
She set down her wine, still aware enough to decide that she probably shouldn’t finish the glass, but she had already had more than enough to completely loosen up and feel very light.
“Hm… hmhm…” she smirked, biting her lip as she looked up at the ceiling. Starting to be quite a bit less subtle as her daydreaming turned rather… raunchy. She didn’t notice that there was a very faint hue of yellow emanating from around her body. “Soarin…” she said his name again. A little louder this time.
She really wanted him there… And she had gotten to a point where she forgot where she was.
“Ahem.”
“Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm…” Dash hummed louder, a wide grin on her face.
“AHEM!” Matteo loudly cleared his throat and nudged her. “Dash, glowing.”
Dash blinked several times as she glanced down at Matteo’s arm, but in doing so quickly saw the yellow glow rising off of her.
“HRK!” Dash swallowed and flinched, quickly sitting upright. Her eyes darted back and forth as she scrunched her mouth, the yellow glow slowly fading until it was gone. “Phew…” she exhaled and wobbled slightly. “Whoa… sat up way too fast…”
“You should be a little more discreet,” Matteo suggested.
“I was, uh…” Dash leaned back. “Just thinking about something…”
“CLEARLY,” Matteo snorted. “Perhaps that’s enough for you if you can’t control that… light.”
“Yeah I think so too,” Dash agreed, pushing her glass further away, “But…” she blinked. “I’ve had enough to feel it… whew…” she sighed. “Wish Soarin was here…” she said to herself. Matteo heard, but he said nothing.
She looked directly at Spitfire and Wave again, the two of them starting to tip and sway a bit as they laughed and hung on one another.
“I’m my own monster, I swear…” Dash grabbed her mane and pulled it down over her eyes.
“HEY!” Fleetfoot’s voice giddily swirled through Dash’s ears. Dash looked up to see Fleetfoot bouncing on all four hooves towards Spitfire and Wave Chill. “Spitty! Can I borrow ya for a sec?” she said while giggling and leaning into Spitfire.
“Huhwha?” Spitfire blinked and looked down at her.
“I need a fellow mare for this,” Fleetfoot stuck her tongue out and bounced her eyes up and down while blushing.
“Uh…?” Spitfire glanced at Wave. He only shrugged.
“I just need her real quick!” Fleetfoot shimmied her body down Spitfire over to Wave and tapped a hoof to his nose. “I bring her right back, promise!” she assured him before grabbing Spitfire by the arm and dragging her.
“Whoa, okay, okay!” Spitfire chuckled as she stumbled along with Fleetfoot, the two leaving the room.
“Huh,” Wave tipped his head curiously.
“Heyyo, Chiller!” Lightning Streak suddenly approached Wave with Air Mach in tow. “We need to bring in more ciders from our room!”
“Come give us a hoof!” Air Mach punched the air triumphantly.
“Oh? Uh, okay,” Wave set his cider down and followed the two out.
Dash blinked, her eyes staying on the door as first Spitfire… then Wave Chill were both led out of the room one right after the other. Her head tilted back and forth… back and forth…
First Fleetfoot…
Then Lightning and Air Mach…
And they led Spitfire and Wave out…
“Oh jeez…” Dash exhaled. “Just what is Fleet up to…?”
---To Be Continued---
I think we all know where Fleetfoot is going with this. (And i couldn't fool any of you if i said otherwise) 
But here we are, the usual Wonderbolt party shenanigans while also taking a dive into what's currently going on with Dash's Squad... it would appear an attempt to confront Squall went extremely wrong before they left for the party, and it sounds like it was initiated by Star, so neither Matteo nor Dash got a chance to do their thing. But as Dash noted, perhaps the most important factor here is Star herself. After all, Ruin did pry out the fact that Squall actually enjoys the fact that she would never leave him alone.
And i'll come clean since Twister called me out. I actually wrote more than half this chapter before realizing that i completely FORGOT Thunderlane was there with them...
And yes i also used him as an excuse to have Fleetfoot be a tease. (don't judge me...)
And for those who didn't catch them, Twister made two references in this chapter, the first was from Hot Shots (A movie thats a comedic parody of Top Gun):
The other "Nose Rub" followed by dropping the Vapo Rub was a reference to "Rose Bud" and dropping a snow globe from Citizen Kane:
(If you have not seen this movie, i'd recommend it. It was Orson Welles' first feature film back in 1941 and is considered to be one of the best and most influential movies ever, an opinion that has held up in movie ranking circles to this day)
So as i said in the blog, This chapter got long during the process so i cut this off from an outline that i've already finished, so i will be getting started on the next chapter right away.
Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed!
Art in this chapter by: Foxenawolf
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Bro, I'm sorry, but I do not have the time to read ALL of this.
But, by all means, take my like.
I find it very funny that Dash has gotten so use to Twister that she doesn't bat an eye on the things he does anymore. It's much more funny when she asks "what?" when the rest of the Wonderbolts look at her in silence.
Great party. I was wondering how long it was going to take Dash to figure out what was distracting her. I'm looking forward to working on that little mystery. Hopefully soon.
Allright I've read shy of 20% of the chapter.
Lets make a 90-50-10 prediction.
90% that twister is gonna wreck something.
50% that Matteo starts to sing so loud it rivals his Aquilla Grillo or whatever that war-cry was called
10% that LS and Squall will hook up by the end of the chapter.
Edit:
You mean export
Stolen wine
Star apparently doesn't know
You slug down that much alcohol that fast, you keep getting drunker for the next 4-5 hours. She ain't careful she's going to pass out before she can talk to Squall. (Or at least drink herself into incoherence)
the way dash handles twister has got to be one of my favourite scenes in this chapter
not me crying over dash missing soarin
i loved the energy in this chapter
not my friend and i sobbing over dash missing soarin
10479263
Thunderlane's nuts are doomed
10479292
Haha thanks, i'll take it!
Not all too surprised though. Ill be the first to say this got way out of hand and is at this point 10x longer than i initially intended (and still going).
10479373
She's really turning into Silver, huh?
10479397
You can bet this new strength in the Soarin to Dash connection is going to be very significant as we go forward
10479473
Technically this chapter was split in two so we have another half to see if you're right about the other two 
You got the Twister part right
10479826
Maybe that was my intention
10479982
She's more or less become Silver in the way she can remain stonefaced among absurd things
10479986
10479982
I might be wrong, but i get the feeling you two read the chapter together?
10480196
She sure is.
10480198
I wonder if Soarin can feel it when she gets all hot and bothered thinking about him.
10480229
>Dash's mood gets transferred to Soarin
>Discord has to take cover as sparks fly everywhere
>Muffled screams of Celestia and Sombra sound from within as magical fists start punching them in the face
>Soarin's spirit is just smiling
10479473
Damn that bird can really hold his wine. That guess wasn't even close. I admit I was betting on his affection for his homeland overwhelming his natural restrain. That what I would do if I was offered some home-grown delicacy after a long time in a foreign land. At least I'm rather lukewarm about my native alcohols or that would easily get me into some trouble.
10480216
yes we did
we read every chapter together
and it gets really crazy when it gets crazy in the book
10480216
haha yes we do, its pretty much become a tradition between the two of us
10480330
10480320
Haha that's great
Not gonna lie. A little jealous of Thunderlane.
And of Gilda, of all not-ponies.
Sh-shut up, Twister!
I'd completely forgotten that that was a ship. R. I. P. Thunderblunder.
I'm currently relating a lot to Dash in this chapter...
About a week ago, by Girlfriend of about a year got into a car accident. It was a major collision, that luckily didn't kill anybody, but when she was brought in, she was in critical conditions, with several breaks and fractures, including a fractured skull. I felt beyond relieved that she was alive, but due to her injuries, she's still recovering in the hospital, and I've only been able to visit her a few times. Since then, I've felt like a piece of me is missing, like I'm not whole anymore with her gone. I'm still sending my prayers, and I hope one day to have her back with me, safe and sound in my arms.
Thanks for continuing such an amazing story Calm.
10480573
You and me both.
Did I just say that out loud...?
10480841
Sending my well wishes, hope she makes a full recovery in short order.
Oh man, sorry to hear that
10480841
I was in a car accident last Sunday night, on my way home from work. I got T-boned by a guy speeding through the 4 way stop. Nobody was injured, but my car was totaled. I had a bunch of bruises from the seatbelt, but they’re pretty much healed now. The day after was rough; I had bruises on my hips and shoulders. You can’t really do much without using those joints, so I pretty much laid in bed all day.
The impact was on the passenger side, so that area of the car was fucked up. Window shattered, tire popped, door caved in, side airbags went off, windshield cracked, etc. I’m just glad nobody else was in the car with me.
I hope your girlfriend gets better. Get her to watch ponies; laughter is the best medicine.
10480320
10480330
Friendship goals.
10482134
Ahah! So the real reason Fleety keeps pestering in-story Calm is revealed.
Seriously though. One'd have to be crazy not to like her. You've written a heck of a Fleetfoot.
10482501
That's what we did when I visited her this afternoon. We watched "Make New Friends But Keep Discord" and "Newbie Dash"
(Those are her two favorite episodes)
10482501
Yeesh, im glad to hear you're okay.
10482512
Honestly, I'm my own monster. The only reason that Fleetfoot is my pony waifu is because i unwittingly developed her character and personality into the kind of girl i wish i had in my life. 😵
Zangiovese is dangerously close to my own last name, so Ill take that as an unofficial entry to canon ^.^
10479982
Reminded me a LOT of a certain stallion...
10483323
a one winged stallion 👀
10483321
TOTALLY INTENTIONAL
10483573
Lol
Zanghi pronounced Zane-gee.
Off-topic comment.
I was thinking that Fancy Pants would be the perfect villain for this story. He is constantly on the street, but at the same time keeps aloof. He is almost always aware of what is happening, he was able to get the wine from Gryphonstone and his conversations with Discord still left me with a residue. He also makes a good impression on everyone. Isn't it perfect to take a stab in the back?
Oh, my God, how did I even think of this?
P. S. Text in two copies.
Oh and the Chapter came out great
Комментарий не в тему.
Я тут подумала, что Фэнси Пентс был бы идеальным злодеем для этой истории. Он постоянно находится на ввиду, но при этом держится отстранённо. Он почти всегда осведомлён о происходящем, он смог достать вино из Грифоннстоуна и его беседы с Дискордом до сих пор оставили у меня осадок. А также он производит хорошее впечатление на всех. Разве это не идеально, чтобы сделать удар в спину?
О Господи как мне вообще это в голову пришло?
П. С. текст в двух экземплярах.
О и глава вышла великолепной
10487566
It also makes Fancy the perfect red herring/frame job ...
derpicdn.net/img/view/2016/2/20/1092505.png
Oh god. When did this chapter come out? I wasn’t paying attention. Sorry.
Man. One thing’s for sure; Dash is really annoyed about the couples in the room. Brings back memories of her and her favorite cuddle bug. Soarin, obviously. I feel very bad for her.
This is what I mean! It drives both Dash and I nuts! Gawd. When will there be more Soarindash?! My life is on the line because of this! Okay I’m joking.
10487566
10487852
Thats the first time i've heard that one!
Though in Fancy's case, the way i portray his character is consistent with how he is in my stories "Hard pressed to Impress" and "The flaws of perfection" both of which has him seemingly perfect and unshakable in any way on the surface, but explores him a little more. All my stories take place in the same universe, so whenever the mane six or Big Mac, Braeburn, Thunderlane, Shining Armor, and Fancy appear, they are just like they are in my other stories to keep it consistent.
---
Я впервые это слышу!
Хотя в случае с Фэнси способ, которым я изображаю его персонажа, согласуется с тем, каким он является в моих рассказах «Трудно произвести впечатление» и «Недостатки совершенства», оба из которых внешне делают его идеальным и непоколебимым во всех отношениях, но исследует его еще немного. Все мои истории происходят в одной вселенной, поэтому всякий раз, когда появляются грива шесть или Биг Мак, Брэберн, Тандерлейн, Сияющая броня и Фэнси, они точно такие же, как и в других моих историях, чтобы сохранить последовательность.
10488185
Pretty much!
10488952
Oh you better believe there is gonna be LOTS in this arc
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!!!
10494560
S-Seventy...new...n-new...chapters....
Internal YAMERO!!
10495114
I am my own monster