It is a lovely day in ponyvile until a shady character with a vendetta arrives. A vendetta against who? why princess Celestia of course. For reasons unknown this man want's to punish Celestia. So this enigma goes after the one thing Celestia cares most about. Her people one person that holds a specially warm place in her heart. Princess Celestias Faithful student Twilight Sparkle.
----------------
So yeah that's the plot of this story more will come though I ensure you. Some characters who I listed as Major don't Have a Major role in the first chapter's , but they will in the next two or so. The characters are also humanized maintaining their pony abilities. Such as Rainbow Dash having wings and Twilight being able to use magic.
This is my first Fan Fic EVER as such prepare for some noobish mistakes. I'm apologizing beforehand. I will grow and learn, but I can't do that unless you comment telling me what I did wrong. So Yeah constructive criticism is wanted.
where did I see this before?...anyway great fic, I hate that they are humanized but still great
431341
Seen before? I wrote this myself so I don't know maybe a similar concept? The only reason I did Humanized is becuase I'm new at this and find easier to make them humans rather then pony's. Eventually I will make write them as ponies , but for my first time I'm going to do humans.
In the first paragraph I've found an error: "It's been a thousand years since his pain and hatred formed. He has been planning for a millinium to get his revenge formed. So in my understanding, it took him a thousand years for hatred to form, but he planned revenge for a millennium. Contradictions... I'll continue reading
Edit1: He has a hood so only he's allowed to see his face?
Edit2: “Relax I’m coming just finished packing the basket.” has missing commas.
“Relax, I’m coming, just finished packing the basket.” is one possible solution.
“Relax! I’m coming, just finished packing the basket..." is another.
Edit3: Add some italics to show the readers are looking at a though of a character. Seeing as you're doing this from the narrators POV, you may want to (even more so) want to make desperate paragraphs for dialogue. (commas missing in a few areas as well)
Overall, this is pretty good for your first fanfic (assuming its your first). I admire your vocabulary, and I'll be honest... I envy it! Just try doublecheck grammar. I know the first few chapters WILL be difficult no matter how hard you try, but it gets better. The last thing that bothers me is the title. Reminds me of the fanfic The 7th Element. Really... yea...
I hope your writing prospers and you benefit later from writing!
443351
First I want to say thank you for taking the time out to help me. I assure you I will edit the corrections in there later.
444286
It's fine, first stories are always the hardest. My problem was the WALL-O-TEXT for my first story. I did have spelling and misused its and it's so don't worry about it. Glad I could help
446425
Thanks again , and I promise I will try to do better in the future.
446497
Don't need to promise, everyone gets better with practice
>446538
Boy I hope so, I wish to continue writing becuase it is so much fun. Though I don't think i can keep up with all the stories I want to put out 
wow
that cliffhanger gave me goose bumps 
448787
I try my best, and by the looks of your comment it seems to be working. Thank you for the feed back!
try avoiding teh cleche, and you'll be fine. perhaps more humor even more tragedy and of course, ponyfied.
if it's not here by 10 min's, the order is free right?
474592
Yeah the more I wrote it the more cliche it became. I noticed that too. I also feel I didn't truly capture the personalities of every-pony. But hey my first story so it will take some getting used to.
I caught up to this, and having not really reading this for over a month, I had to re-read everything. Now that I'm on this chapter, the one thing that's a constant mistake is the paragraphing. In your dialogue, you seem to cram the dialogue into the same paragraph. When two people or more are talking, it's to most peoples interest when you make separate paragraphs for it.
For example, your first paragraph;
The now red lit equestria was stuck with fear. The people of ponyville and canterlot were in a state of anarchy. People were running around and panicking it was mass hysteria. Most of the people of ponyville were in the emergency shelter. Not too many people knew about it since it never had to be used before. Pinkie Pie was there watching over the children as instructed by Twilight sparkle. Though worried she kept up her usual happy persona. “Pinkie pie? Will everyone be ok?” The young pipsqueak asked worried about everyone not in the shelter. “Don’t be silly of course they’ll be alright.” Pinkie said with the utmost confidence.
Edited:
The now red-lit Equestria was stuck with fear. The people of Ponyville and Canterlot were in state of anarchy. People were running around and panicking, it was mass hysteria. (It could also be written as, "People were running around and panicking; it was mass hysteria.") Most of the people of Ponyville were in the emergency shelter. Not too many people knew about it since it never had to be used before. Pinkie Pie was watching over the children as instructed by Twilight; though worried, she kept up her usual happy persona. "Pinkie Pie? Will everyone be okay?" The young pipsqueak asked worriedly for everyone not in the shelter.
"Don't be silly, of course they'll be alright!" Pinkie said with utmost confidence.
So, other than the capitalization errors, and the fact that Ponyville seems kind of maladroit in a world of humans. Unless, of course; it's the home of many farms or ranges with ponies or horses. I like how you're growing as a writer though, and that ending is really great; assuming that really is the ending.