Chapter 23: We Can't Stop Here, This Is Bat(ter) Country!
The three fillies pulled up to the Boutique and gasped collectively. It was as if an Ursa had stopped by and bit the top half off, leaving only charred remains to show what had been. Fluttershy and Rarity were exiting the building, chatting amiably about material costs and repairs.
Sweetie watched her sister coming out, relieved that she seemed to be okay. She tried to say something sane like “Good morning”, but with her mind focused on what would assuredly be something she would be blamed for, she could only manage to stammer out, “Rarity! I-I didn’t do it!”
Rarity took one look at her distraught sister’s face and had to suppress a snort of laughter. “I know that, Sweetie Belle. This was just bad luck. Although I do count my blessings I was not there when it happened.”
Sweetie rushed to her sister, nearly bowling her over with the force behind the jump, and hugged her fiercely. “Are you okay? I mean that must have been scary—” Something Rarity had said struck Sweetie as odd just then. “Waaaiit a second... why weren’t you at home?”
Rarity glanced about nervously. “Well, you see, that is...”
Fluttershy spoke up quickly. “Your sister and I went out to dinner after we visited your parents, Sweetie. She walked me home, but we got caught in the rain, so I asked her to stay with me.”
Rarity nodded hurriedly. “Yes! That was all!” She laughed a little manically. “Simply staying over!”
Sweetie eyed her sister suspiciously, before she finally she brightened in realization. “Oh, you had a sleepover! Was it as much fun as the sleepover with Applejack and Twilight? Which book did you use? We borrowed ‘Slumber 101’ for ours. Me and the girls played so many games! What games did you play Rarity?”
Rarity blanched and began to stammer. “I-I, well we, um...”
The three fillies looked on curiously while the older unicorn had a private moment of panic.
Fluttershy laid a hoof on Rarity’s shoulder to calm her down. “Yes, Sweetie. We had such a good time. Um... I don’t think what we did is in that book. We’re actually planning to have more sleepovers now. Isn’t that right, Rarity?”
Apple Bloom perked up. “That sounds lahke fun! Can we come too?”
“No! Absolutely not!” Rarity clamped a hoof over her mouth and blushed heavily. “What I mean is—”
“Rarity just means the games we play are more for grown mares. You wouldn’t have very much fun.”
All three filles looked down in sadness. “Awwwww...”
Sweetie looked up suddenly as another question struck her. “Wait... what kind of games do grown mares play together?”
Rarity was quietly going mad, the gears in her mind spinning out of control and making her stammer once again.
“Sis? You okay?”
Fluttershy covered for her yet again, although she, too, was starting to get a little nervous about the direction the conversation was taking. “She’s fine, Sweetie. So you played games? What games did you play?”
Sweetie kicked her hoof against the ground bashfully. “Well, we had a pillow fight, and played truth or dare, and then we—” She was distracted by both her friends waving their hooves and shaking their heads frantically. “And that was it; we went to bed after that. I’m glad you had fun too. But... where are you gonna sleep now?”
Rarity breathed a sigh of relief. Thank Celestia that line of questioning is past.
Fluttershy smiled happily. “That’s wonderful, Sweetie. And you don’t have to worry about your sister. I asked her to stay with me for now until she gets the Boutique fixed.”
Sweetie looked up with unsuppressed awe. “Wow... you moved in together?”
Rarity had finally collected herself enough to rejoin the conversation. “Well, no, not quite. The shop has a rather inconvenient problem with ventilation at the moment—” Fluttershy stifled a giggle, “—and Fluttershy felt it would be best for me to stay with her for now. Not that I would be averse to the idea of making more... permanent arrangements in the future.” She blushed as Fluttershy nuzzled her.
Scootaloo looked back and forth at the two mares, trying to figure out what seemed so odd about them. She leaned in close to Apple Bloom. “Bloom... does something seem different about those two?”
Apple Bloom leaned in closer to her friend, dropping her voice to a whisper. “What do ya mean?”
“Well they seem a little more mushy, kinda like how Twilight and Pinkie were acting.”
“Ah thought ya lahked mushy now...” Apple Bloom said, nuzzling her gently.
Scootaloo blushed, but did not push her away. “Q-quit it, Bloom... So you mean you don’t think they’re acting different?”
Apple Bloom studied the pair closely. They did seem to be hovering around each other a little more than the last time she’d seen them. “Oh yeah! Huh, maybe they’re datin’ now?”
“Huh... could be.” Scoots looked up at the half-burned building curiously. “Is setting a building on fire something you do while you’re dating?”
“What? Scoots how’d you get a dodo-headed idea like that?”
“Well, we know we didn’t do it this time... and who’re you calling a dodo-head?”
“Ah’m pretty sure that ain’t what you do. Fire department would be pretty busy round here if it was. And Ah called you a dodo-head, you dodo-head!”
“It was just a question! They’re all lovey-dovey and the house caught on fire!”
“Well, that don’t mean—”
Sweetie Belle hissed back at them. “Shhhh!”
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo suddenly found themselves the center of attention. “Um... we weren’t talking about setting anything on fire, honest...”
“Yeah! We were just talkin’ about something totally unrelated to setting things on fire, because that’s bad.”
Scootaloo and Apple Bloom shrank back. “We’ll just be back here... not setting fires...”
Rarity gave them both a suspicious look, but dropped the subject for the moment. “So, little sister, what brings you three out today? Staying out of trouble, I hope?”
Sweetie Belle turned back to her sister guiltily. “Of course! We thought we could get our cutie marks helping ponies fix their homes after the storm!”
Rarity smiled warmly. “Well, that’s certainly a noble endeavour. However, this—” she said, gesturing to the wreckage, “—will take a little more than three well-meaning fillies to fix.”
Sweetie nodded sheepishly. “Yeah. I just had to check on you first. We’re gonna try to go find ponies to help around town.” She hugged Rarity again. Leaning closer to her sister she whispered, “I-I’m glad you’re okay. I was scared you might have been hurt!”
Rarity nuzzled her sister gently. "I'm... fine Sweetie Belle, there's no need for you to worry about me." She leaned up against Fluttershy. "In fact, I think I should be the one worrying about you."
Sweetie looked confused for a moment, but decided that was just Rarity being Rarity, something she was used to by now. She ran back to the cart and clambered back into it. “Let’s go, Scoots!” She waved goodbye to Rarity, smiling happily.
Rarity waved goodbye, her eyes wet with unshed tears. “I love you too, little sister.”
Rarity nuzzled Fluttershy once more, enjoying the feeling of it. “Well then, my plans for today rather included having a working shop and material to work with. Since that seems to be a bit of an issue, and we won’t be leaving for Canterlot until tomorrow—”
“Rarity, um, about that...”
“—I must admit I am at a bit of a loss about what to do.” She looked at Fluttershy in surprise. “Oh sorry, my love. Is there a problem?”
Fluttershy scuffed a hoof nervously, but then stiffened her backbone. “Um, it was very sweet of you to ask if I could come too, but I can’t leave my friends without a caretaker. I think you and Spike should go without me.”
Rarity looked wounded. “Well, I thought... since we had just gotten together... I was hoping to perhaps take you out to dinner again in Canterlot... Oh, I am sorry, I presumed too much.”
Fluttershy smiled in that I forgive you sort of way that Rarity adored. “It’s okay. We can spend time together when you get back.” They both felt an awkward silence linger; this might be considered their first fight as a couple, even though neither had been angry.
Fluttershy nervously broke the silence, trying to ignore that feeling of tension in the air. “But since you're going to Canterlot with Spike tomorrow... Um, shouldn't we tell the girls about us today?”
Rarity considered for a moment. “Well yes, we should tell them, of c—” She stopped herself dead. “Wait, darling, what about your parents?”
Fluttershy’s eyes went wide in fear. “You w-want to meet my—” She cut off with a squeak.
Rarity waved a hoof in front of Fluttershy’s unblinking, horrified eyes. “Darling? Are you all right?”
The pegasus stood quaking for several moments before she answered. “We don’t really have to go see them, do we?”
“We have told my parents, shouldn't we tell yours as well? They might be offended if we left them for last.”
“Well, I don’t think they'll mind; we should really tell the girls fi—”
Rarity looked up at her questioningly. “Now that you mention it... I've been wondering about what Rainbow Dash said. Granted, I was distracted at the time because she was a little out of sorts and I'd just heard that my house had burned down..." She smiled sheepishly. "But did she say something about 'knowing about us'?"
Fluttershy breathed a sigh of relief. Thank goodness, she distracted herself. “Um... yes. Applejack sort of guessed I had a crush on you and she told me to tell you about it... Then there was the mess with the letter and she told me to let you tell me first... It was all very confusing. I was going to follow her advice but—”
Rarity nodded in understanding. “Yes, I went a little overboard with my... behavior. So you mean to tell me that Applejack figured out you had a crush on me, even though I apparently missed it for years?”
“Oh, don’t think like that! We were both so wrapped up in what-if’s that we forgot to just talk to each other. I hated that. I was in love and I couldn’t even ask my best friend about it! At first, it was so exciting! But then I got worried; what if you didn’t like me? What if I ruined everything we had because of wanting to be with you? It was even worse after you broke up with Snow; before that, I didn’t even know you liked mares in that way!” She snorted with remembered frustration.
Rarity hurriedly tried to change the subject, since it seemed to be making Fluttershy upset. “Yes, well, enough about that. You are correct, we should tell them. But getting back to your parents, I really do need to meet them at some point. Do I need to get Twilight to cast the cloudwalking spell on me so that we might go and visit them? I’m assuming they live in Cloudsdale?”
Fluttershy froze up again. “I really don’t want to do that, if that’s okay with you...”
Is she shaking? “Darling? Are you all right?”
Fluttershy tried to steady herself. “Y-yes, I’m fine. I just really think that it’s a bad idea.”
Rarity shook her head in irritation. I’m sorry, darling, but we need to talk about this. “Come with me. we are going to have some tea, and you are going to tell me why you are worried about me meeting them.”
She walked back into the boutique, grabbing Fluttershy’s tail with her magic and dragging her inside. “Wait! I just remembered, I’m an orphan! S-so it’s fine! Please stop?” the pegasus pleaded pitifully.
Thankfully, power had been restored to the boutique, so the ground floor was habitable at least. Rarity’s kitchen proved largely unaffected by the rain, although she noted with irritation that random items had been scattered everywhere. Opal, no doubt. The poor dear must have been frantic. Rainbow took the correct course of action in bringing her to Fluttershy, of course, but she will undoubtedly not be pleased with me when I finally let her out of that carrier... I shall have to get her a treat to make up for that. Tea was brewed in due time, and then she sat down with her frightened marefriend. “Now then, what am I up against? I daresay that, unless you turn out to be half dragon, I can stand up to anypony for your love.”
Fluttershy sipped her tea nervously. “Well, no, neither of them are dragons. Why would you even think that?”
Rarity waved a hoof impatiently but smiled all the same. “I was joking, dear. So, what are they like?”
Fluttershy took another sip of tea. “My parents... are nice.”
Rarity gritted her teeth, trying to remain patient. “Yes, darling, I am certain they are. However, you have also used that word to describe, amongst other things, a manticore and a cockatrice, if memory serves. Coming from you, in other words, this could mean they merely have a horrible disposition, or are, in fact, actively murdering ponies. Perhaps you could elaborate slightly?”
Rarity blinked, and looked around in confusion. “Fluttershy? Where...?” Then she spotted a pink tail poking out from under the chaise lounge. “Darling, what are you doing?”
Fluttershy peeked out from under the furnishing. “Um.. sorry... N-no, my parents aren’t like that.” She climbed out from under the lounge and took a deep, steadying breath. “My father... well, he’s a lot like me.”
“Sounds pleasant enough, then,” Rarity said, nodding. ”I take it your mother is the one who set off the panic attack?”
Fluttershy nodded in response, but said nothing more.
Rarity tapped a hoof to her chin. “I see... overprotective, I take it?”
“No, that would be my dad. If it wasn’t for my mom, I might have never even gone to flight camp...”
Fluttershy tried to make herself as small as possible. Granted, she was already pretty small compared to the two ponies in front of her, but at the moment she was going for nothing short of microscopic.
She hated it when they argued.
“Silver, we have to let her leave the nest sometime.”
“Don’t you give me that! She’s fine right here with us, aren’t you, Shy-shy?”
Fluttershy nodded hurriedly to her father. She gave a small, weak smile. Then she tried to make herself disappear again. Her father’s behavior confused her; he seemed angry, but also scared. It made her scared too.
Her mother looked at her father in exasperation. “Honey... she barely even flies. How can we ever expect her to make any friends if she stays cooped up in this house all day?”
Her father glared back, obviously fuming on the inside. Fluttershy knew better than to be worried about that. Her father looked big and scary, but he was nothing but a big puppy dog around her mother.
Her mother simply stared back, unwavering in her resolve. That stare did haunt Fluttershy’s dreams; she hoped she would never have to bear the full brunt of it. Her mother tended to joke about how she had once reduced a new recruit to tears with just a glance. Fluttershy had had nightmares for a week after that, although she’d never had the courage to tell her mother why.
“Don’t you ‘honey’ me! This is serious!” her father sputtered. ”Why flight camp of all places? I could get her a tutor; she’d be fine!”
Her mother stood her ground. She appeared saddened, rather than truly upset, by her husband’s reluctance. “She needs to meet other ponies—”
Her father reared up slightly. “Don’t. You. Dare. It was other ponies that got her sick to begin with!”
Fluttershy cringed again. I didn’t mean to get sick. I’m sorry, daddy.
“That was years ago. Foals get sick, they recover. You know full well that every checkup since then has come back fine.”
“That’s not the point, and you know it. We almost lost her. You promised I could take care of her at home! She doesn’t need anypony else. Please, don’t ask me to do this, I—she’s not ready yet. Maybe... maybe next year?”
Her mother sighed heavily “Silver, I’m putting my hoof down. She’s going to flight camp. I’ve already signed the paperwork.”
“You come back from Canterlot for one week out of every month and suddenly you know what’s best for her?”
“Yes, I do think I know what’s best for her. If you would stop coddling her so much for just a moment, you would, too. She needs room to grow. She’s a tough girl. She can handle it.”
“Um...” Fluttershy squeaked, but quickly silenced herself.
They both turned to her. She closed her eyes tightly, hoping they wouldn’t see her.
A large warm body sat next to her suddenly; she recognized her father’s scent. “Shy-shy, we’re sorry. This wasn’t supposed to turn into an argument.”
Her mother’s smaller warmth joined their little huddle on the couch. Her wings wrapped around little Fluttershy, shortly followed by her father’s much larger wingspan. “Your father is right... about that, at least. We shouldn’t be arguing in front of you.”
Fluttershy finally opened her eyes, smiling gratefully at her parents. “Um... Daddy? Please stop being mad at Mommy...”
“Shy-shy... please don’t...”
Fluttershy cringed. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to make you upset. I asked Mommy if I could go to flight camp this year. She said ‘yes’ and I was so happy! But then she came home and you were angry... Please don’t be mad at her anymore!”
Her mother was nodding silently, giving her the courage to say what she wanted. She did her best to look her father in the eye. “C-can I please go?”
Her father’s lip quivered. “O-of course, Shy-shy... Of course you can go!”
Rarity sat next to Fluttershy, feeling puzzled. “Darling, I don’t understand. Why the concern? She sounds wonderfully supportive.”
Fluttershy nodded quickly. “She is! It’s just... she has never been happy with anything I’ve done; she was always saying I could do better. I was second in my class in flight school, and she asked why I wasn’t first. I was regional champion in golfing, she wanted to know why I wasn’t competing on a national level. I even got a letter after I quit modeling, asking me why.”
Rarity nodded. “So she has high standards for her daughter, that’s nothing to be afraid of.”
Fluttershy shook her head vehemently. “She has impossible standards, Rarity! I don’t want to have you feel hurt if it turns out that you don’t meet them.”
Rarity put a hoof to Fluttershy’s cheek. “Love, let me worry about that. It was up to you to show my own father what sort of pony you were. Leave your mother to me.”
Fluttershy gave her a worried look, but did not protest.
“So, she’s in the Royal Guard, is she? Could we arrange to meet her while we’re in Canterlot?” Rarity paused in embarrassment. “I’m sorry, darling. I am presuming again. Will you come with me so that we can see them together?”
Fluttershy wanted more than anything to say no, but in the end she could not deny Rarity the chance to try, even if she could see no good coming of it. “Yes, I’ll come with you. You can meet both of them; my father moved to Canterlot after I left home for Ponyville.”
Rarity squealed in excitement. “Splendid! That’s settled then. Now, what were we talking about before all of this—” Rarity looked up in sudden, embarrassed realization. “Pinkie Pie! She must be wondering how it all went. She was such a dear, trying to rile me up to go and tell you. I really should go talk to her!”
Sugarcube Corner was just a short walk away, and soon enough the two of them were pushing their way into the crowded bakery. Mrs. Cake was at the counter, ringing up what appeared to be at least three dozen muffins. Who would ever need... oh. Rarity waved at Derpy cheerfully. “Good morning, Mrs. Cake, Ms. Hooves!” She pointed to the bags with a grin. “Let’s get you situated, shall we, Ms. Hooves?” She lifted the bags up in her magic and, after Derpy had lifted the flaps on her saddle bags, deposited them inside. “There we are.”
Derpy smiled happily. “Thanks, Rarity. Oh, hey, Fluttershy!”
Fluttershy gave the other pegasus a small, bashful grin. “Um, hi, Derpy...” She stood just a little behind Rarity, seemingly wanting to hide. Then she spotted the mailmare cap on Derpy’s head, and it reminded her of something important. “Oh! Derpy, how quickly can you get a letter to Canterlot?”
“Post it this morning and we can have it there this afternoon, if you pay for same day delivery!”
“Rarity... um, can I leave you here to talk with Pinkie? I need to get to the library and write a letter to my mom.”
“What? Oh, yes of course, that would simplify matters wouldn’t it? Hurry back then.” She hugged Fluttershy goodbye, and gave her a kiss on the cheek.
A pink blur appeared in the doorway, followed by words that seemed to only just be catching up with it. “Sorry I’m late Mrs Cake I was just finishing off Twi— I mean finishing up with Twilight and—” The voice broke off, only to be followed by the sound of an entire room’s worth of air being drawn into a single set of lungs. “Rarity!”
“Pinkie Pie!”
“Um... Fluttershy?”
Pinkie grinned at her two friends. “I have no idea what’s going on, but, Rarity, maybe you’d like to talk to me about something upstairs?”
“You read my mind, you silly thing.”
Pinkie pulled a bubble pipe out of nowhere. “Merely deductive reasoning, my dear Rarity.” She bounded up the stairs. “I’ll be down soon, Mrs. Cake! Shy, you coming?”
“Um... actually, Pinkie, I have to go mail a letter. You two go ahead.”
“Okie dokie!”
Stairs were climbed, and doors were secured. A pink earth pony regarded her unicorn friend with a grin. “Phew! Okay, Pinkie Promise preserved. So either you told her, or the two of you just got reeeally chummy all of a sudden. Which is it?” Pinkie sat down on the bed and motioned for Rarity to join her.
“Well... I did try to tell her,” Rarity explained as she gracefully sat down on the bed next to Pinkie Pie, ”but things did not go quite as planned...”
Pinkie listened intently as Rarity told her how the day’s events had unfolded. She only stopped Rarity by letting out the occasional cheer or gasp, at which time Rarity would take a bow or cheer with her.
“So you worried for nothing, then? Shy had you figured out the moment she got the letter?”
Rarity nodded happily. “Apparently, my favorite brand of perfume tipped her off. I have never been so grateful to have been inattentive to minor details before...”
“You sure you told me right, though? I mean, first the kiss, then the parents, then the date? Oh well, I guess I can’t complain. Me and Twilight started with the games, then dating, then trying to find out if we had any interests in common...”
Rarity smiled knowingly. “Dating a good friend certainly does leave room for interesting mishaps, yes. And oh, you were so right, Pinkie! The “kissies and snugglies” are wonderful!”
Pinkie grinned. “Um... unless my Pinkie Sense was acting up, you two were up to a lot more than that...”
Rarity blushed heavily. “A-a lady never kisses and tells!”
“Fine, fine! Just tell me one thing: can you hear her when she... you know?”
Rarity sputtered a bit in embarrassment. “I think you may in fact be worse than Rainbow Dash! But... um... to answer your question, no, not quite. I think she hits an octave beyond the range of my hearing...”
Pinkie snickered. “Thought so!” Then she gave a sheepish grin. “Not that I’ve ever given serious thought to what she—or you—might sound like in bed; I mean that would be—”
Rarity hurriedly derailed that particular train of thought, before it could make a stop in creepytown. “So then! Enough about me. How are you and Twilight doing?”
Pinkie’s smile faltered. “Um, good!”
Rarity’s ears perked up. “Just ‘good?’ I thought you had things worked out!”
Pinkie sighed. “Well, I still love her, and we’re spending more time together, but... I dunno. I still feel like something is wrong...”
Rarity nodded encouragingly. “Have you tried talking to Twilight about it?”
“Twilight gets all upset when I starting talking about things like that. She keeps saying I simply need a cupcake, or suggests that we break out the costumes again.” Pinkie slumped onto the bed heavily. “Maybe I’m overthinking it?”
Rarity mused on her words for a moment. “Well, what makes it feel... wrong?”
Pinkie put a hoof up to her chin, stroking an invisible goatee. “Well, I love doing things with her, that’s fine. When we snuggle... that’s good too. I think it’s when we’re together, and doing more than just snuggling. I dunno, I just feel like it’s never really me and her! It’s always ‘Sir Pie’ or ‘General Hurricane’ or ‘Pinkamena the inexperienced but curious peasant girl...’”
Rarity blushed heavily at that last description. “Ahem. Well then, have you tried doing that without the costumes?”
“Well, no, except for when we first tried to play together. Twilight was all nervous and scared; she kept saying she wanted to try, but just couldn’t. So one time, I just borrowed a couple costumes from the pageant, and suddenly we were ‘Puddinghead’ and ‘Clover the Clever.’ We had so much fun! But after that it was always one role after another... She even started using spells to create illusions around us! It’s a lot of fun but... I kinda just want to play with... No!” She smacked one of her forehooves against the other for emphasis. “I want to make love with Twilight! No more games, no more pretending...”
Rarity smiled warmly. “I think, perhaps, you already know what you need to do then. Now go and tell her how you feel. She loves you; I think she will understand.”
Pinkie sprang up and wrapped her hooves around Rarity. “Thankyouthankyouthankyou! Sometimes it really helps to talk with somepony outside of things.”
Rarity nodded quickly. Then she squeaked. “Um, Pinkie... Thank you for the hug, but... could you stop fondling my flank, please?”
Pinkie sprang back and gave her hooves an accusatory glance. “Bad hooves! I’m going to put extra weight on you today... Um, sorry Rarity, I just got a little... excited.” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “But, um... if you and Shy ever want to try something new... well, a party’s still a party, even when there are four guests instead of two. It’d just be, y’know, a bigger party.” She waggled her eyebrows suggestively.
“Pinkie Pie!”
“Hey, I said I love Twilight; I never said I never thought about anypony else who might be fun to be with!”
Rarity turned away, trying to hide her face. “I have just barely begun dating her, so that’s hardly appropriate to think about.”
Pinkie turned Rarity’s face with a hoof. “Rarity, I’m super sorry if I made you uncomfortable. I never said you have to think about it now. Just think about it, um, later! I think it would be fun, anyway.”
“Yes, well... a decision to be made another time then, when I have had the occasion to discuss it with Fluttershy.”
Pinkie nodded happily. “Hey! We should have just a normal, non-foursome party, though! We could have an ‘Everypony has somepony’ party! Where all of us can stop hiding from each other and talk like friends instead of keeping secrets!”
“Well, that does sound lovely, Pinkie dear, but Fluttershy and I are actually leaving tomorrow morning. That leaves little time to plan.”
Pinkie frowned. She looked off into the distance and had what appeared to be an animated conversation with somepony only she could hear. “Oh! Got it! Twilight said we could have a slumber party sometime, and invite everypony, instead of just you and AJ like last time. That would work, right?”
Rarity gave it some thought, and finally nodded. “Yes, that would be perfect.”
Both mares abruptly had their attention diverted from the ongoing conversation by a sudden knock on the door. There was a muffled voice on the other side, which could barely be made out as belonging to Mr. Cake. “Pinkie? I could really use you down here. Say, five minutes ago?”
“I’m sorry, Mr. Cake, Twilight says I’m not allowed to time travel anymore. Something about potentially destroying the universe.” She leaned in closer to Rarity for a moment, dropping her voice to a whisper. “I just wanted to see how good of a kisser I was!”
“I... don’t even want to know,” a flabbergasted Mr. Cake replied, after a brief pause. ”Just get down here now, please.”
“Okay, Mr. Cake!” She bounced up off the bed. “Rarity? You coming?”
“What?”
“C’mon, it’ll be fun!”
Rarity watched in amazement as her friend leaped through the air and snatched ingredients from the levitation fields. How exactly did I let her talk me into this?
“Mohr ecks!”
Rarity reached out with her magic and added another few eggs to the already-crowded airspace of the kitchen. “All right then. Next?”
Pinkie flipped through the air again, fetching butter, eggs, and milk. “Geht te behter retty!”
Rarity nodded and turned on the mixing machine. This was not quite as complicated as sewing in her shop, but it was a close second. “Anything else, darling?
“Mohr buhter!”
Several more sticks were magically made to hover over that particular portion of the kitchen.
Pinkie wiped the sweat from her brow after she closed the oven door. “Okay! Ten more batches to go!”
The fashionista whimpered, but obligingly got yet more ingredients airborne.
In what was almost certainly breaking several laws of physics, and not a few laws of Equestria proper as well, Pinkie was now spinning like a top while flipping crest-over-fetlocks and, simultaneously, striking several eggs with the tip of a hoof. This somehow broke the shells at the center of the egg and propelled the contents into a waiting bowl, afloat on the other end of the kitchen.
“Pinkie... are you certain you are not simply a deformed pegasus?”
Pinkie grinned around a stick of butter. “Mohr milch!”
Pinkie was just pouring vanilla into the selfsame bowl when she looked behind Rarity and suddenly began pointing frantically. "Teh behter!"
Rarity looked around in confusion. There appeared to be an entire constellation of sticks of butter already out and about. "Surely we have enough now, don't we?
Pinkie shook her head and waved her hooves around frantically. "Nuhhnuu! Teh behter!"
Rarity turned in the direction Pinkie was pointing. She was just in time to watch a bowlful of batter surging forth from the mixing machine. In detached fascination, she observed its contents flying—of course—directly towards her. I see now, she either meant ‘beater’ or ‘batter’.
At the last possible moment before impact she closed her eyes, and the gooey substance instantly covered her from head to hoof. In a remarkable show of fortitude that could only be attributed to her extreme state of shock, Rarity maintained her composure and turned calmly back to her friend.
"Pinkie, am I, in fact, currently covered almost completely in cupcake batter?"
Her friend nodded, even though Rarity couldn’t see for the sticky mask that had plastered shut her eyes. "Uh-huh!"
"I see. Well, fair warning then, I am going to begin crying soon. You may perhaps want to be a dear and fetch me some tissues."
"Okay!" a perfectly chipper Pinkie agreed.
"...And a towel."
"Gotcha."
"We mustn't forget a comb. That is crucial."
"Right!"
"Oh, any maybe some of that nice chocolate, to cheer my inconsolable, ruined-forever self up a tad afterward?"
“Sure, no problemo!”
Rarity considered this brief list of necessities, but could not think of anything else she might need to mitigate the inevitable outburst that was to follow. She did, however, carefully lay down all of the ingredients to avoid making more of a mess.
Seeing that all was now in order, she nodded resolutely, completely satisfied with her thorough preparations.
"Right then. We have our list. Are you ready, Pinkie?"
"Yeppers!"
"Very well then."
Rarity collapsed into a miserable, wailing pile of pony.
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Yay!
Commence read.
That end!
i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/427/895/5dd.gif
This is some good shit
Oh the lols of this chapter. They tickle my funny bone so.
If reading mlp fanfics is an addiction, this is how I get my fix.
Green!
I lost count of how many times Pinkie caused me to crack up.
This story, among a couple other rarely-updated ones, is like my fanfiction crack. And I just got my fix/fics (XD). Many a lol was had this day, and once again, the physics of Pinkie Pie were once again discarded. Well done, Author, well done!
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Rarity_lolface.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Fluttershy_lolface.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Pinkie_Pie_lolface.png dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Twilight_Sparkle_lolface.png
-Dan dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Vinyl_Scratch_lolface.png
Oh Rarity
1589104
-sees a notification in my faves and decides to investigate, sees the picture
and instantly stops everything i am doing to read 
-
and YAY I've missed this story
When Pinkie was talking, for some reason I imagined her with heavy's accent. Anyway, good chapter.
I lolled
Very good, but... Fluttershy was second in her class in flight school? That'd be like me being second at football camp. I don't think I could kick a football more than two yards, let alone be second overall.
(I'm sure you could argue that "flight school" has non-flying portions, but I doubt that. It's flight school; you're there to learn and improve upon your flying.)
That ending was simply delightful!
I could totally see Rarity preparing to break down; so OTT, so in character!
1589485 you have to consider a couple few things when you make judgements on shy's flying.
1. Shy prefers not to fly, and when she does fly its frequently very slow. Unless she is motivated by extreme circumstances.
2. Shy has been shown in canon to be able to catch up to and maintain pace with Rainbow Dash. She was pulling the cart at the same pace as Dash in Last roundup and she managed to catch Dash in Return of Harmony part 2.
3. Shy has performance issues because of anxieties. During hurricane Fluttershy she apparently lapped several of the pegasi inside the tornado. Her wing power was at least a 5.0 because that was what was needed to break 900. We did not see past that, but I suspect in the end it was a close second to Dash's own.
So yes, based on these factors, and given that I suspect Dash would have helped her train in Flight School (Dash being first in class) I think its plausible, based on what we have seen in show, for Shy to fly that well.
Another excellent chapter.
Flutterarity is second only to Rumblebloom as my fave ship.
1589146
Quite right! I find I do little else in my day when there's a constant stream of updates to fics I'm following.
Oooh! Fluttershy's parents are introduced at last!
Um, is she using telepathy to talk to Twilight?
In other news, Pinkie Pie using time travel to see how good a kisser she is? Awesome. You should do a chapter in "Red" detailing that, with Twilight getting involved. We all want it, don't we?
That was... endearing (I loved Pinkie's slip-up about finishing Twilight off), and hilarious (the last bit with Rarity comes to mind instantly).
Definitely looking forward to more as usual.
lol so pinkie went back in time to kiss herself to see how good a kisser she was and she also appears to be able to have telepathic conversations with twilight. oh pinkie physics isnt even a thing for you is it
1589776
+
=
I wouldn't mid...actually i'd love to see the "Pinkie isn't allowed to time travel" story
that'd be AMAZING
Hmm.. this is going to a very butter cake/baked good.
I do have some questions for the author:
1. Will there be a Red segment for Pinkie Pie confrontation with Twilight.
2. We seem to be resolving the main conflicts one by one. How much more is there? Of the top of my head I see, Fluttershy's parents then maybe marriage.
Oh Rarity, never change.
i would have though rarity would have asked pinkie to get fluttershy instead of a towel google.com/imgres?q=if+you+know+what+i+mean&um=1&hl=en&sa=N&tbo=d&rlz=1C1TSNO_enUS479US479&biw=1366&bih=667&tbm=isch&tbnid=EflhNkjisgGLLM:&imgrefurl=http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/if-you-know-what-i-mean&docid=ktBs6f9GYMxgsM&imgurl=http://i1.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/008/549/If%252520you%252520know%252520what%252520I%252520mean..png&w=420&h=317&ei=4LCdUL-_GYrD2QXVp4DABA&zoom=1&iact=rc&dur=8&sig=105228519161460033151&page=1&tbnh=147&tbnw=195&start=0&ndsp=24&ved=1t:429,r:0,s:0,i:74&tx=91&ty=49
Yesssssssssss. This story is good!
Nice intro of Shy's parents too!
Keep it up!
1589532
1. Everyone becomes a master in extreme circumstances. Adrenalin has been known to help housewives lift cars, among other things. I don't feel that this proves anything.
2. I'll admit, I don't know much about horse yoking, but I don't see why Fluttershy can't dog it while Rainbow Dash does most of the driving. The second example you gave also seems to fall under "adrenalin." Fluttershy was angry and upset. Oh yeah, and Rainbow Dash was currently being dragged by a rope tied to a balloon filled with several ponies, so she's not exactly at top fly speed.
3. It's true Fluttershy has performance anxiety. Do you know why? Because she's a weak flier. She says as much in the Cutie Mark Chronicles episode. Spike claims that she's afraid of heights in Party of One as well. After a long montage of her facing her fears and overcoming her anxiety, she only hits 2.3. Why wouldn't she be at peak performance then? If she was a flying master like you claim, this would have been the time for her to break it out. At her absolute best, most driven case of flying, she maxed out at 5.0+ wingpower. But to claim that a 5.0+ flier suddenly became a near-16.0 wingpower implies that she gained about 20 pounds of muscle and several years of flying experience. (You could almost bring back the adrenalin argument, but that can only do so much. Those people who rely on adrenalin usually have severe muscle damage, which I don't see in Fluttershy post-hurricane.))
(Ah, I forgot a point. She does lap ponies in the tornado. Ponies that were demoralized and already flying at their comfortable speed. Also, and forgive me, as I don't have the episode up, but do we see her definitively lap a pony, or could it feasibly be a clone? Just wondering.)
We see episode after episode of Fluttershy as a very weak flier. Several characters claim she's not much of a flier, and we even have several instances where this is quantifiably measured. I simply don't see where you claim otherwise. She couldn't have massively improved her flight between the Cutie Mark Chronicles and canon time, as it's never implied that she went back to Flight Camp afterwards. In fact, I inferred that after she got her cutie mark, she remained on the ground to take care of the animals she had befriended. So when, out of her busy schedule of tending for hundreds of animals, did she get the time to improve her flight? And more importantly, why would she bother? She had always been a weakling at flying, and now she doesn't really need it. The animals don't make fun of her, and she doesn't need to fly much higher than the treetops to take care of the majority of the animals she tends.
Fluttershy is a weak flier. You could almost go so far as to say it's part of her name. "Flutter." She doesn't fly; she flutters. I'm not angry at you or anything. I just disagree with you. I like having arguments, so let's see what your rebuttal is!
1590395 I am arguing that the lack of evidence is not in fact really evidence of lack. Am I truly saying Shy is anywhere near dash on a normal basis? Of course not. What I am saying is I believe with Dash's help and with a domineering mother as motivation I believe Shy could have surpassed any other normal pegasus in that class. Now picture this. You're Fluttershy. Being you, this is huge. And you tell your mother this. And her only response is why wasn't it first? Would you keep trying? Or would you move to Ponyville to take up the one talent in life that was not a competition for you? Because I can tell you Shy's choice.
That ending is what made this chapter one of my favorites x3 that was so rarity!
1589376 FIW? What's that?
I was gonna ask if he'd read a friend of mine's story, Dragon of the Eclipse. We've got a half-dragon for our main OC, and he ends up dating Fluttershy. I lol'd when I read that, thinking 'nope, but that's pretty close!'
1590995
Friendship is Witchcraft. episode 2 I believe.
1591576 Ah, thanks.
1590995
that's...also interesting, but nope
*reads the ending*
Wow. Spitting milk out your nose is bad. But popcorn kernels hurt like a motherbuckin' bitch!
Another fine chapter! Though it gives hints that Green, like far too many other multi-character shipfics, might end up with orgies and polyamory. Not that that's wrong in itself, but it's so cliche it almost seems like a trope now. Similar situation ruined the ending of more than one fic for me, and Green's too good so far to fall into that.
1592919 nah, pinkie is just flirty
1592935
Tease!
Oh the ending of this chapter... Priceless....
Very well done looking forward to the next chapter hopefully soon 
1592919 Never said I was ruling it out either. That's for Rarity and Shy to decide.
I was wondering, what's the time-frame for this story?
They've been talking about the dates and meeting the parents as if they happened r. Its just that that seems a little too fast pace or all the stuff that's happened
You write these characters (and character-driven comedy) so damn well. The CMC's discussion of romantic arson and Pinkie's chipper attitude contrasting Rarity's trauma both had me cracking up a little. I can imagine some of the things Rarity might say to Fluttershy's mother. Probably something about her own high standards.
1594294 Well the prologue happened on the Wednesday prior to the current week.
Chapter 1 was on Monday.
Chapter 2 was Tuesday.
Chapter 3 was Tuesday
and here is where events get a little time compressed.
Interlude 1 was Tuesday evening.
Chapter 4 was also Tuesday evening.
Chapter 5 was Wednesday Morning
Chapter 6 was Wednesday morning.
Interlude 2 was Wednesday morning.
Chapter 7 was Wednesday morning.
Chapter 8 was Wednesday morning.
Chapter 9 was Wednesday mid-morning.
The CMC interlude was Tuesday-Wednesday morning. During that interlude we saw Twinkie pre "breakup"
Chapter 10-12 takes place mid-morning through about lunch time Wednesday.
Interlude 4 shows the cmc scene from twinkie's viewpoint. It continues after the events of interlude 1 then goes on for all of wednesday.
chapter 13-14.5 all take place Wednesday night.
chapter 15 takes place Thursday morning.
interlude 5 takes place beginning wednesday night and continuing through the afternoon of thursday.
chapter 16 takes place Thursday morning.
Excellent work as always Steel. I particularly liked the depiction of Fluttershy's parents
1597586 Glad you liked it replay, my commentators adore that pic in chapter 7
