It was after the Wedding at Canterlot that Twilight Sparkle was having dreams about new Unicorns. After meeting one of the last surviving ones She learns that she is is one of them, know as a War Unicorn! How will Twilight handle this? And will she live out like her old race or remain who she is? Fusion with DBZ.
Saga's I came up with,
War Unicorn Saga-still being work on and the started of MLP becoming DBZ like.
Chrysalis Saga-The Saga where Twilight and her friends go to another dimension to revive the ones that was kill.
Fire Saga-A new threat appears and Twilight must defend her home from her race oldest enemies.
Otherworld Saga-The World of MLP and DBZ get fusion together and it up to the Mane Six and the Z Warriors to save the Otherworld.
I also plan on doing some of the movies as well. Buy me time because the War Unicorn Saga is not done.
Well... I gotta be honest.
You need to work on a number of things with this story:
#1 Capitalisation
Unicorn is a common noun in this case, which means that it should not be capitalised. Only capitalise words that are the first in a sentence, personal names or specific geographical locations.
#2 Tense
You seem to have troubles with past & present tense. This has led to the two occuring in the wrong places. For example:
What you probably intended to write was looked, as it would make more sense grammatically speaking.
Other than that you could work on grammar in general, spelling and consistency. But keep working and you'll improve, I promise.
I like the chapter
Twilight NOOOO!!!!
The story is very good, i very like it
4440332 This Story was made back during my earlier time as a writer, now these days I'm different. I just started putting this up and I already got over 10 dislikes which I see as cancelled the story, but I'm going to get the rest of the story I got done up before I make that decision. I'll will fix those mistakes however.
Twilight will train very hard i guess
4440632 Do you have a proofreader? If not, you should really consider getting one.
The Proofreader Group is a good place to ask.
4446199 I don't have one and it is hard to get one. Thanks though!
Is King Kai going to teach Twilight the Kamehameha?
4454295 Yes.
4454409 Yay!
Rarity! NOOOO!!!!
4456352 Sadly, she's not the only one that dies.
hey, don't cancel a good story just because not everyone likes it. keep going for as long as you can.
4456715 This was back when I was a early writer, back then I never thought of a place for Shining Armor or Big Mac. I will said that Shining Armor does appear in this story though.
It's so awesome to have Goku in this chapter! I love this chapter
4459430 Yeah, I thought I throw him for any DBZ fans.
i like the series right now also maybe you can make a team four star version of this
This battle is insane! It's driving me crazy! Awesome chapter by the way
Fun fact: In Mexico the voice actress of Twilight Sparkle (Carla Castañeda) is daughter of the voice actor of Goku from DBZ (Mario Castañeda). In a twit she said "My father is Goku" and her father responded "My daughter is Twilight Sparkle". That's were most of the images of Twilight DBZ come from.
4465012 I see, I had no idea.
I just chose the picture to fit the crossover!
4465018 The more you know, right? Here's an image of the twit derpicdn.net/img/view/2013/8/2/389417__safe_twilight+sparkle_equestria+girls_spanish_voice+actor+joke_dragon+ball_goku_spirit+bomb_carla+casta%C3%B1eda_genki+dama.jpg
4465045
Well, they're family. I guess having Twilight and Goku show up at the same time made you think of that.
4465048 Indeed
Oh, and fun story
4465052 Thanks, like I said, I need help on finding more DBZ Kai episodes and some of the DBZ original music, one music I'm going to use is Goku SSJ Theme from the original DBZ for Twilight's own transformation. Care to help me out here?
Now they just have to find Spike's balls and wish Twilight Sparkle A.K.A Fire Spark A.K.A Goku A.K.A Kakarot alive
4465120 Dude, I never added the Dragon Balls. Plus Goku was alive he can visit the other world at any time. Keep reading.
So.
Twilight=Goku
Rarity=Yamsha
?=Krillin
?=Chaos
?=Tenshinhan
?=Gohan
Celestia=?
Luna=?
Sunset Shimmer=Vegeta
Fire Sun= Nappa
4465248 Not bad for a start. I will state that Celestia really doesn't play a DBZ character but I will give her a role later on and she will be in more fights. She will take part in the fights of Chrysalis Saga.
I lost a bet so now I have to read this piece of work. I know its bad but I really hope it at least has good grammar.
4528879 What bet?
4529054 Well the author of Last of the First(a bioshock fanfiction) had to figure out what I said in UTF-8 code and Binary code.
4529645 Well, my grammar can be bad from time to time, but please have a look.
Awesome story! Like I promised, I read it. So far so goood, aside from the grammar mistakes, this is excellent! Maybe you can make your own arc, or do you truly plan on following the DBZ formula? Either way, I can''t wait for you to pick this up again! Brohoof!
4654593 The first two arcs are right from DBZ, the other two are made up Arcs. Also, Brohoof!
4465064 here you can find all the kai EPs. Buu saga is even on here since that was also done in Kai though it's treated as a separate series like DB, DBZ & DBGT all are. Check youtube for DBZ music, you might find some.
Btw loving the story. Can't wait to see what happens next and Sunset should be glad Bills isn't awake yet and visiting Equestria. Heheh if Vegeta is afraid of the guy then what about Sunset?
4965969 I'm doing the movies as a separate story. So what you favorite part?
4966291 Sweet movie story. ^^
I'd say my fav part so far is Twilight meeting Goku. Can you say team ups in the future?
4967473 My Otherworld Saga have them team up to fix their worlds, if people stop disliking this story. You seen how many dislikes there are. I'm a DBZ fan.
4967503 Same here. And yeah I noticed. Did anyone who disliked even give a reason why? Cause I'm starting to think some people might be abusing the dislike feature for the heck of it. Other than grammar mistakes this story is well written and thought out for a MLP/DBZ crossover. And we don't have all that many on here that are either still going on or stopped completely due to any number of reasons not involving dislikes.
4968042 As far as I know, no one has told me why. I think it because the people that dislike this are not DBZ fans.
4968639 If that there is the reason then you shouldn't ever cancel this story. For one to dislike a story simply because it has something they don't like in it regardless of whether it's good or not isn't a good reason to do so. Like many people have said various times on different site, don't like it then why are you watching or reading it? You know what I mean?
4968720 Yeah, what I do if don't like the story, I don't review or dislike, I just leave it alone. Well, thanks for reviewing this one, did you read my other one Pony Ball Z?
4968996 Yes I did. It's also pretty good.
4969082 Only thing is, I need the transcripts for the next chapter. I seen the show, I just want to get the lines right.
4969103 Ah I see. Where would you get the transcripts I wonder?
4969156 The transcript I got for the first chapter is from Dragon Ball Z Wiki, but that all they had. I can't find any more.
4969197 I see. Have you tried google?
4969227 Yes, they don't have the episode transcript I need, which is call Reunions.
4969254 I see. Hmm...would the manga have transcripts by chance? I mean the anime is an adaptation of the manga after all so maybe?