Pnakotic
Joined 21st Feb, 2012 ·
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Meh. Interesting spin, but still a story with almost no soul whatsoever. Props for putting some life into this gut-strewn paste of a dead horse, though.
And no, it's not a strange place to start, since everyone seems to do it. It's also not a very good place to start. If I had a nickel for every time some new author opened up with fucking Cupcakes...
i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/225/367/tumblr_lvy7bsrqcd1r5tr09o4_500.gif
^ What I want to do to Cupcakes Authors ^
410521
You stole what I was going to say
I completly agree with the_one_guy here...It does need a bit more soul
Here we go again.
Not gonna lie, I normally hate cupcakes fics, not because of the gore, but because of it's fandom; people describe the story so "generally", and never expand on it. (As in, it's always senseless mutilation/killing/rape of somepony
)
They also aren't very creative with her techniques, either... Although, I suppose every killer has their own MO.
This one had some plot to it though, which is a great start. Despite it's pacing and some grammatical errors, I really think this is a good start.
Thumbs up!
410634
Your should try reading The Cupcakes Chronicles.
It's the best spin-off out there, really gives a story to original Cupcakes.
410658
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Seriously, I've favorited that already. I'll be reading it soon.
Cupcakes was never actually meant to be horror... People take it way too seriously.
I liked this but there was things that I wanted to change but this was still good
Not too bad, I liked this spin but was sad that RD killed herself instead of getting the psychiatric help she needed, it wasn't her fault that she found herself in such a horrifying position. The narration was a bit rushed and it does make me wonder if the collar was a bomb collar or not, surely Twilight or some other pony would ask questions "um RD why are you wearing a collar like that?"
It's certainly a new twist on the story, but I just don't feel any tension, buildup, or even interest in what is happening.
Rather than you telling a story, it just feels like you are going through the motions. There's nothing that keeps me wanting more...every plot element was predictable, every twist seen coming.
If you want to do a fic like this, you have to be willing to put a lot of effort into it - character build up, real tension, showing the reader what happens instead of just TELLING them - and I'm sorry to say, I just don't feel that any effort was put into this story.
The last thing we need to be reminded of is of that dirty. Stuck up. Sadistic, shit-eating, cocksucking, butt-fucking, penis-smelling, crotch grabbing, ball licking, semen drinking, dog raping, Nazi loving, child touching, cow-humping perverted, spineless, heartless, mindless, dickless, testicle-choking, urine-gargling, jerk-offing, horse-faced, sheep fondling, toilet kissing, self-centered, feces puking, dildo shoving, snot-spitting, crap gathering, big nosed, monkey slapping, bastard screwing, bean shitting, fart knocking, sack busting, splooge tasting, bear blowing, head swallowing, bitch snatching, hand-jobbing, doggie caressing, mucus spewing, anal plugging, hole grabbing, uncircumcised, sewer sipping, whore mongering, piss swimming, midget munching, douchebag, hoe biting, carnivorous mail-order prostituting assenine STORY. I'm sorry but Cupcakes makes me RAGE!!!. GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
410561
Actually I think of something better to do to the author of Cupcakes, crucifiction anyone?
411366
" Nazi loving"
I fail to see the Nazi's in cupcakes.
It was the 2nd fanfic I ever read, I laughed for about half an hour afterwards.
410773
images.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw3369-Pinkie_you_dont_say.png
410561
i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/000/210/943/132199964788.gif
411461
Thanks for the creepy Pinkie image(note the sarcasm). I you like Cupcakes fine, I don't give a shit if you like Cupcakes, agree to disagree.
411466
Alright, I was just pointing out that it didn't contian Nazis.
JUst because you don't like cupcakes is no reason to lie about it.
411470
I know it didn't contain Nazi's. The Nazi part was part of the insult, ever heard of the Nostalgia Critic?. This insult came from him, though i should edited out the Nazi loving statment. Oh well, it's in the comment so there is nothing I can do about it now.
411478
You can edit your comments you know.
And for the author of this.
This , this
and this.
410561 Come at me, bro!
Now, as to the author: I'll give you props for having a very good grasp on grammar on your first try. I admit that my intentions were to read the story and laugh at how much it sucked, but you managed to break my preconceptions with the first paragraph.
Though, I still think that the plot is kind of rushed... unless you don't want to show ponies being cut into pieces. But still, I think there could've been more... there needs to be tension build-up... more pathos towards the characters. They were kind of shallow (OoC is out of the question)
The ending. Not that it was bad per se, but I think that you could've conducted it more... properly.
I'll give you the thumbs up for: being very good on your first try and making a Cupcakes spin-off that managed to survive the shipwreck.
cupcakes was the first mlp fanfic i ever read.
when i finished i was like, 'how does make bronies want to vomit?'
Very interesting story. I'd still prefer the original, I don't know why everyone's making such a big deal out of the original manuscript. Sure it maybe souless or to graphic, so was Rainbow Factory; you don't hear people making a big deal out of that. But I digress, keep up the good work.
You say "fans of the Cupcakes subculture" as if there are any.
I'm a fan. The concept is actually quite interesting to me.
Was making Pinkie's number 42 intentional?
BEST.SEQUAL.EVER!!
10 out of 10
MUST INSERT COMMAS! AUTHOR I SWEAR, COMMAS ARE WHAT HOLD THE UNIVERSE TOGETHER!
412853
I think there's a whole group for it.
411366
... ... ...
This story was pretty good. But it needs an alternate ending/continuation. Where Dash actually keeps killing after pinkie is dead. And enjoys it.
412853 there are...
I thought this was going rocket to insanity
I liked this because I am very strange!
Hey pinkie jigsaw called he wants his collar trap back! you would think pinkamena would know better then to use another serial killer's technique but then again no killer is original they are inspired by someone.
Sadder but better
This was actually very interesting. One of the better alt. endings to Cupcakes I've seen! (Dash makes deal: her face when:
)
Sooo... Donuts tomorrow?