Decided to cross my Favorite series with my current favorite series ... the results are...... intresting.
'It's not about if you win or lose. Sometimes it's about how many pages you add to the rulebook.'
Page generated in 0.141 seconds
Total duration
1,005 users online
129,283 hits today, 2,364,530 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
First of all, this needs a very solid proofreading: you have double-spaces everywhere, and commas, full stops and suchlike after the space, or between two spaces. A few examples:
In the second paragraph, commas should be used to separate items on the list, so it looks like "Massive armies were used, great spells were cast, and the land and people suffered." I think there also should be an 'its' after land, just to make the point clearer.
You had a double full-stop in there, it should be either an ellipsis or a single full-stop, probably the latter in this case.
Again, watch for commas and full-stops with spaces, just to make it more legible.
Finally, semi-colons and colons are brilliant things: learn how to use them properly. It's hard to stress that enough, so do it.
Otherwise, an intriguing start to a fanfic; keep it up!
fairly good
One of these days i need to go back and redo this. I have learned quite a bit Writing SiS
I love the idea and the twist of sunny but going meglomaina is absolutly brillyent. Also i get what you mean about raity allready from having seen 3 difrent vertions of bubble gum. just please tell me that you made Rainbow dash as Priss in the story shes the only one that could pull of the biker babe and do the hard rock singger..... I need to lisen to the song mad mashine again now. You rock
2200964 That was indeed the plan, One day i will get back to this story as it was the first one i was starting to write.
I am intriged to see how you combine BGC with MLP. I have only seen the one version but it was good enough for me that I bought the box set.
Shame this never got past the first chapter. I've been looking for a crossover of these two for a while, and this seems to be the only one.
4974284 eventually i will get back to this since it was the first thing i ever did.
4974925 That's good to know.