Introduction: What is a human?
Bonbon cracked open the book and flipped to the first page. "Introduction: What is a Human? Ugh, why couldn't she think of something more original for her title? Honestly, that's how you sell books, make the title interesting! There's no way anypony would buy this, Lyra should have tried to write it in a way that would get her more cash. Sighing, she got comfortable and began to read this monstrosity.
Humans are obscure mythical creatures that have been extinct since before the time of the princesses. You may be wondering what significance they have to the modern world, well they are believed to have designed many of the tools used today, such as handles, door knobs, books, and many more such items commonly used today. Humans have left their mark on our culture in many ways too. Our equestrian language is derived from an ancient human dialect known as "Gansta", which originated in a country long ago known as "France" (HillBilly). Many modern day sayings like "on the other hand," "hand-me-down", "a helping hand" , and many other phrases came from them. Some other words like "tank" come from the Gansta language (HillBilly). Tanks were once a popular form of everyday transportation for humans, they were very durable and hard to stop once they got going, thus the term "like a tank."
Humans closest known relative is the Gorilla. They both have thumbs and four limbs with no tail. The gorilla seems to have come from a different evolutionary track than the human. There are some other major difference in their phylogeny such as their number of stomachs and the absence of livers, as humans have three small stomachs, and no liver (Biochem).
There have been reports in the modern day of human sightings, though none have offered any sort of solid proof. Compiled reports have pieced together it's appearance and describe it as being extremely tall, about eight feet, walking on two legs, having little or no hair on the body with a small patch on top, gills, no nose, no and four limbs. Each limb ending with paw like structures similar to that of a diamond dog, with six small endings meant for gripping on the upper body limbs commonly referred to as "arms" and four on the lower body ending referred to as "feet." The gripping structures on the arms are called "fingers" by the modern day species that possess them. On present day creatures they have names for each finger on the hand. Their skin is a tannish-pink color and changes color to have more pink in the sun with a similar process to that of a chameleon. They emote similarly to ponies except that frowning and smiling is reversed so that frowning shows happiness and smiling shows displeasure (Hillbilly).
The human is a peculiar creature that has been a major mystery to those that have studied them. Signs of the ancient reign of the human can be found almost anywhere in everyday life. Hopefully you will be enlightened with new knowledge of Equus's wonderful ex-dominant species: the human.
"Seriously Lyra?" Bonbon had just finished reading the first chapter, and most of this sounded even crazier than she thought. I mean come on, there's absolutely no way humans had no tail, everything intelligent had a tail! Finally she decided to go ahead and keep reading. This was turning out to be more interesting than she had anticipated, but not by much.
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What does this meen (Hillbilly)
4427081 I explained in the description
4427276 Sorry about that but its just that first chapter
We're like the pony's Bigfoot, hehe
Well we use to have tails when we were stupid. I kinda find it insulting to hear a tailless creature like humans which is smart, being called stupid.
You should do a chapter about how Human diet consists of rocks and wood, or other silly stuff...
4431744 how does it need to be fixed?
4432473 when the title comes up in the first chapter it says go insteed of to.
4427081 It's a citation of who said it
4433145 I'm lookin for an editor if ur interested
Ugh...Lyra
(Human sighting idea) I woke up to the sound of knocking on the side of the house, and when it started to get annoying I thought I would check it out. When I went outside, all I saw was a flash of light pinkie running past me. It was short though. About the same size as me. But it must have been a human, cause there is nothing else that is short, pinkie, and moves fast in the night. (Except for Pinkie Pie)
I face palm so hard while i read this.
It's true! All truly intelligent animals have tails. All of equinnity in general have gorgeous long, silken tails. Our tails are a feature that set us apart from the other beasts of the earth. I condition and shampoo my own mane and tail to a velvety shine daily.
Professor Lyra Heartstrings md is truly a paragon of science and higher-learning-type-stuff of our time. So-called science expert types call her a quack, to which I say, nuh-uh! All of YOU guys are the quacks! You guys and fillies need to chill and respect her brilliance! She knows about humans and their mysteries. Her book is really good and you guys should read it.
I think the only true fact in this story is that we humans have three stomachs and no liver. That is true... right? Because I have three stomachs and no liver. I mean, so does everybody else! Right? Right? Hehe........yeah... I think that's true...
This is so wrong on so many levels.
How ironic...