Honestly I enjoy the story, the plot, and etc.... but In my opinion, ALL of the OC's kind of ruined it. Foal Adventure's was the OC story, and It mostly focused on Canon characters... but this story seems to be more about the oc's than the canon.... maybe its just me, but an all oc story like this, when its supposed to be based on canon.... it just doesnt work

well, that time spell sure worked. so that's how we all appeared. better get back and tell the others before-

Luna: Tut tut tut. going back in time? Naughty filly.

Me: *gulps* well, i'd run, but i don't think she's gonna let me.

Luna: *shakes head as her horn glows with a sleep and memory wipe spell* Nope.

Me: Dang it *drops to the floor unconscious, all memory of the last few moments gone*

5350067 I promise, this story will not focus on the OCs for major periods of time. My focus will be on the Canon characters most of the time. Do you know what's happened to Super Stallion? He's been quite as of late.

5350122 He (was about to use his real name.... think he is sttill a minor though) hasnt been on Palringo, and i havent seen him either.... all i know, is im moving, on thursday actually..... i havent been able to get ahold of him, because i want to meet with him irl, im paassing through his town

5350164 Oh really? Where at might I ask? Just curious if it might be close to my home town.

5350181 unless you happen to live in Montana, Minnesota, North Dakota or Oregon, no. Im not goin to reveal his information, sorry... I may know you, but i wont release others information without thier consent

yes it been awhile have it been? and how bump on head doing?

5350200 Well, one of those states is my home-state, but it's confidential due to me being in the military. Sorry I can't clue you in further, probably when you pass through I'll probably be elsewhere then my home-state anyways.

5350215 lol, like i said, ill be moving on the 11th, btw.... im pretty sure its montana, your home state.

5350241 Nope, not Montana, sorry, and yeah, you are gonna be passing through while I'm still with my fellow sailors. There's no need to guess which state, but have fun on your trip.

5350209 Oh, well, mama Luna fixed me right up.

5350255 Glad to hear that. A bump on the head must be really painful for any foal to endure.

5350268 Well, technicawwy I wasn't a fo- *Stardust blown in my face.* -cough- -cough- going down. *I pass out on Mama Luna's bed.*

Luna: Little foals should not be telling crazy stories before they take a nap.

Me: *in my sleep* No Mama, I no wanna eat da nathsty bwocolii.

5350255 one thing to keep in mind kid. you all way be human no matter what you are. if you forget history will repeats. make difference in new life kid. good luck.

5350253 Im simply dissapointed you havent fit DG in here... or as he is bettter known now, as Dead Ink. He is a creation of chaos... since discord is his "Uncle" and all, and discord gave him some of his magic when his parents tried reviving him...... i think hed make a good... guard, or servant, or scribe.... or even NM's aand the others links to our world, as he is aware of our world, but doesnt come from it

If you honestly think about putting him in... i dont expect you to, hes not a mortal, hes a ghost technically, he isnt living nor dead, and is technically a god due to the chaos magic.... he doesnt use the chaos magic often.... just as me more if youre interested... or read The Legend of Dead Ink... its a short one shot explaining him better

Legend Of Dead Ink

(when i say hes a god... he doesnt treat himelf as ssuch, but essentially he will live forever, even though he is only a pegasi)

5350463 Well, being made of chaos, even your uncle Discord has a hard time tracking you down, epecially with you moving and all. Why do you think he was hoping for his potion to be used in the first place? The Queen and the Princesses expect him to be where they need him. With this permission they have granted him he has a chance to look for you without the alicorns worrying that he may have left for good or is spreading chaos in secret again. Even I am a little weary of his movements right now... you know, after the whole thing with Lord Tirek and all. None the less, perhaps he can track you down now.

5350505 well, Ink doesnt travel often, lives in a cottage just inside the everfree.... just read the short story linked before you write about him.... Ink writes his stories for a reason.

5350512 Ah I see. That deduces things for him. Be aware, there are many universes of MLP, so not every Discord remembers Ink's location, but this will help him now.

5350522 makes sense, like I said, Ink says to read it, then ask him if you have any more partiular questions, until then, he needs his sleep.... he is feeling he will have a lot of littluns crying in his future.

5350529 Well, it's out of my hooves of what will happen. I'm only a foal you know.

It's finally beginning!

I look forward to all the fun adventures we all wind up on, Nighty. Good work.

Now that the story has actually begun, I wonder where the next chapter will take us...

Luna: Looks like little Shadowmane has finally woken up...

Me: Hehe, moaning, Mama.

Luna: Good morning, little one...

Looks good so far, little bro. Let's see what adventures we will get into^^

5354464 Well, be aware, this story won't mainly be focused on us. I have to give the mane six and their families some spotlight too.

5355264 I know^^ The "we" refers to all foals

5355302

Well, wait until mama sh- *Mom's horn touches back of my neck and I pass out.*

Luna: Sorry sweetie, no spoilers for your siblings.

I wonder how things will turn out :) Now I just need to go on a ninja mission getting that jar of Peanut Butter in the kitchen.

5355900 Don't forget the zap apple jam.

5355949 I won't :)

5356005
^W^

5356074 *I return with the Zap Apple Jam and Peanut Butter*

Here ya go :)

5356105 Wait, where's the bread?

5356156 Horse Apples I knew I forgot sometin.

5356201 *Mama Luna pops in a loaf of bread.*
Luna: Here we are. do you want some help in making the sandwiches?

5356329 *Nods* Uh huh

5356340 *Mom makes all her foals a peanut butter and zap apple jam sandwich.*
Luna: Here you go my little angels.

5355264 True.

4450881 Are you okay?

5357128

-cough- -cough- Did you order original recipe or extra crispy? *I pass out with black soot on my face.*

5357151 Uh-oh! I'd better get Luna and tell her what happened.

5357156

Luna: That pony (she refers to Galaxy of Equestria) did what?!

5357162 I swear I'm not making this up. But I think you'd better get over there and tend to Night Mist first. He's in pretty bad shape.

5357174
Tia: Don't worry I'll deal with that pony. You just look after your son dear. *Celestia flies off.*

*Luna tends to her son and heals him up.*

5357194 Who did dat to my brover?

5357270
5350372
Luna: Don't Worry, auntie Tia's taking care of him.

wait.... which one am I? I recognise the others but the only one that could be me is that white foal, but even then that looks like your avatar then mine, Night-mist. I'm just confused and angry and I demand ans.... *stardust blown in his* sleepy (falls back onto the bed)

Luna:Bad Colt, no arguing with your brother

5386594 Oops, I am so sorry. See, the scene played out in my head, but not all the words were typed. Sometimes my hoofs don't know what my head is saying. really sorry. I will fix that straight away.

5386669 Tanks brother

5386669 Me: I'm bowed...

Lauren: Why so, Shadowmane?

Me: Nighty hasn't made anodew new chaptew in fowevew!

Lauren: Well, you know how he is, little one. He's a rather busy little foal after all...

Me: I guess dat makes sense...

Lauren: Come on, Shadowmane. Let's get you something to eat...

Me: Otay, Gwandma (Flies up in Lauren's aura)

This is another great chapter, I'm using my laptop since Discord stole my computer. Still don't know how he got in here. I should do something about this though.
*Hears a metallic clank*
What the? Oh... How did this metal ball get in here?
*Gas starts to pour out of the ball*
*In a goofy voice* OH NOT *snicker* AGAIN
*passes out*