• Member Since 26th Jan, 2014
  • offline last seen March 20th

isjor1


I like to read

T

My name is Nathaniel, or at least it used to be, and I was sent to equestria after buying gentek pendent at Comicon. Now I am a statue of everyone's favorite prototype James Heller. Let's just hope everypony can also say that as I break out
Inspired by many of the league of humans acting villainous stories.
This is my first story and i am just doing it for fun. All forms of criticism to help improve my abilities as a writer will be appreciated

Chapters (6)
Comments ( 94 )

If it's a LoHAV, you should take out the Crossover tag. It doesn't involve [PROTOTYPE]'s verse, just a second-hand resemblance, which isn't enough to qualify the story as a crossover.

Plus it'll save you a fuckton of angry comments like the ones in Big Red.

nice start. I will follow and maybe read more depending on how fast you update :twilightsmile:

4428501 the only reason the crossover tag was there was so it could get featured
I was planning to remove it anyway
thanks for the save though you get this :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

4429910 I will try to update at least once a week

4430011 Just so it could get featured? You know that's called whoring and heavily frowned upon, right?

4430133 not my fault mods wouldn't get off my back

Um... What the fuck.

4430840 hmm well this is awkward:twilightblush:

4431861 Oh god, you're here too...
Well, I guess the pony transformation is contagious. Tell me, have you had any dangerous side effects I should be aware of?
Because I need to know these things.

4432860 hmm just that I couldn't use my abilities until I started consuming ponies
it was like some weird reset i cant describe
also i tend to leak out the virus every now and then and i still don't know why

4432860 (on a side note i love your Monster in Manehatten story. It probably was what pushed me into writing this.)

4433028 Thank you!
And I had no Idea what I was doing when I wrote that. Well, I did. At least I had more of a clue of what I was doing than when I wrote Prototype: Equestria.

Haven't read it yet (I will), but if do-able at this point, I suggest you making it Humanized instead of Anthro. They can still have wings and magic where applicable, but besides that, a human form. Anthro just rubs me wrong when it's used outside of non-serious clop.

4433213 I'm just gonna ignore the clop comment
sorry dude but it's staying anthro just so I can avoid the romance tag

4433227 Why can't you avoid romance in a humanized story?

4433231 because there would too many situations that would call for it

4434906 No more situations than there would be in a Anthro one. Unless the character is Racist, that is. You can quite easily stay away from romance, by having it never happen. He could be just not interested in anyone in that manner (or in any manner. Blacklight can seriously mess up your brain-chemistry, which is what's responsible for things like sexual attraction, and even empathy). Hell, even having the characters being straight up ponies wouldn't prevent romantic situations just from them being ponies.

4435173 before we continue this conversation I feel the need to ask.
Can you please define non-serious clop and exactly what you have against the anthro tag.

4437707 Non-serious clop is just about that. Clop that only exists for the clop part, sexy shenanigans, without any attempt to make a coherent story out of it. In such stories, they can do thing like Harems that would likely never really happen in a more serious story. In fact, I generally hate Harem stories when their suppose to be serious stories, for those just stink of wish-fulfillment, instead of a actual story, but in non-serious smut, it's just fine.

As for Anthro, it feels halfassed to me. Like the author can't be bothered to choose between having ponies, and humans, so decides to mix them together for the hell of it. This would be fine if the story wasn't meant to be taken seriously, but when it's a story meant to actually be good, and remembered, it's rather counter-productive.

4437775 okay and back to the reasons y I choose anthro over human.
1). The anthro will turn him off seeing as he isn't exactly the real James Heller
2) I don't even want to imagine a human with a horn coming out of their head. Fake horns are one thing but them being attached just looks like (insert weirdest boner joke here)
3) Them not being ponies makes it easier to write better fight scenes. Especially when I start adding in evolved.
4) I have plans just have trust in the writer :pinkiehappy: :scootangel:

4437867 1) Blame that on the Blacklight virus itself. Seriously, that shit will fuck up your head, and that's BEFORE he consumes anyone. Just the removal of extraneous hormones would kill any libido and appetite he has (appetite only returning when he's low on health)
2) Then do something else. If you want a visual identifier that their unicorns, maybe you could include a inset gem in their head or something. Or do without visual identifiers, and it only becomes obvious that a Unicorn isn't a Earth-pony when they use magic. (though the observant observer could probably tell by body structure and tone. Earth-ponies in general are fitter and broader than unicorns)
3) Be careful with that. The blacklight virus was made to kill, and only through very careful manipulation on Alex's part was he able to evolve people. Evolving other people (especially them being different from normal humans) is really tricky, and is more likely to end with them dead than anything.
4) A writer I don't know, and is currently writing their first story. Not a lot of trust coming quite yet.

4437895 don't worry dude I know all about the black light virus and its affects. I also know not everyone can be evolved. I wouldn't had started this story if didn't know anything about prototype.

4437998 Just because you know stuff, doesn't mean you know it all. If you want, I would be more than happy to talk about Prototype and/or your story with you.

And I JUST noticed you have a think asking for a editor. I'm perfectly willing. I help Blacklight out with his shit, and Legion too (though Legion is a lot more autonomous than Blacky, most of what I do with him is bounce ideas off of eachother).

4438016 You me friend are hired

With power lock: Celestia
Without power lock: James Fucking Heller!

4504010 power lock is only temporary
also blame disco for being a douche

My bet is that, with her not realizing he's not at full strength, hits him with the force she remembers needing and accidentally sends him flying away from canterlot, inadvertently helping with his escape. :ajsmug:

4507437 Some people call me psychic, I've actually been getting it all day... sorry if I did reveal the plot...:twilightblush:

“Tree Fiddy.” At that point the salesman had turned into a 50ft tall reptile from the paleolithic era. Goddammit lochness monster i ain't given you no tree fiddy nao!

4518539 I was forced to cave in to the lochness monster's evil ways.
the cookies were actually worth it. :pinkiehappy:
along with the free trip to pony land :pinkiecrazy:

4520355 dude
that is on my list of references to make :P

4430011 Hey im reading another Equestria Zero:pinkiegasp:its in my top 5 favorites if you want to see it:twilightsmile:, its prety awesome he just didnt update it in a long time so im still waiting:raritydespair:

4521031 ah I thought my title was some what original.:raritydespair:
Eh oh well:scootangel:

4521374 Dont fret too much, for one to have a completely "Original" title all to yourself is incredibly rare and and hard to do especially on this site....so there is bound to many more like it or similar:twilightsmile:

4521470 welcome to the rape train.
Here the only stop is the end.
Hope you are ready for the long run.

4504010 its not a fight when you kill the enemy without trouble

4542835 Oh there is some trouble and an annoying handicap

ok. James Heller.
sorry to say this, but you are playing him out-of-character :twilightsheepish:
Not enough swearing and yelling and he is waay to calm :pinkiecrazy:

4546694 I can only swear so much before it sounds childish

4547480 as I said before to daniboyi
blame disco (discord)

everyone's favorite prototype James Heller.

Define everyone.

4609095 Sorry
What I meant was the only prototype since all the others are dead. :P

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