• Published 2nd Apr 2012
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The Tale of Gaius "Ninefingers" - Zong The Nefarious



After a quest given to him by the King goes awry, Sir Gaius finds himself shipwrecked in Equestria.

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The First of Chapters: Sir Gaius

The First of Chapters: Sir Gaius

“Men, like steel, must be tempered. But unlike steel, mere fire shall not temper man, no, only war may do that. Most will shatter and crack, but those that survive will be of the finest make.”
---Lord Kastor of Westport

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The castle of Westport sat defiantly upon a cliff overlooking the grand harbor below. Every day new ships would arrive, bearing spices, gold and slaves from the far reaches of Crai’Tal. Opposite of the noisy activity of the city, the castle was a bastion of tranquility. Up there, the fishmonger’s haggling and the guardsman’s roar couldn’t be heard. Only the sea’s wind could reach up high enough to scale the castle’s dull yellow stone carved from the very cliff it stood upon.

For the past eight years, it had been my home. I was sent here to squire for Lord Kastor, a man who’d treated me better than any of my own kin. The taste of salt and the sea’s loving song were always welcomed. But now, all I could taste was blood, and even the wind was drowned by Lord Kastor’s booming voice.

“Gaius, curses, boy! What have you done?!” the lord of Westport bellowed as he ran down the terrace to where I was, standing over the corpse of the stable boy I had just killed.

I looked up at the man as he loomed above me. His arms and legs were thick as the branches of an old oak, and his chest was similar to a cask of ale. Lord Kastor rubbed his bald head with a calloused hand and then brought it down to rub his black, grey-speckled beard. The man reached down, grabbed the sword from my grasp and slapped me across my fuzz covered face.

I reeled back, but quickly got my bearings and gave the man a cold look.

“What… what happened here, Gaius?” he questioned, handing the steel sword I’d stolen from the armory off to one of the four queasy looking guards that had since arrived at the grizzly scene.

“He didn’t hold his block high enough…” I replied numbly, idly gesturing towards the dull practice sword next to the dark-skinned, dark haired youth as the pool of blood around him grew larger.

“What?” he asked, rubbing his bald head once more.

“I told him to raise his block,” I stated, shrugging. “He didn’t listen. If he’d of listened to me, this wouldn’t have happened.”

“You what?” Kastor asked, letting his eyes rest upon the dead boy’s body for a long time.

“I. Told. Him. To. Raise. His. Block,” I repeated.

Kastor then turned his attention back to me for a moment, and stared at me without saying a word. He shook his head slowly before giving orders to the three remaining guardsmen. At their Lord’s command, the three men went about clearing the corpse from the courtyard.

I watched as they carried him away. I knew that I should have been mournful, or even just ashamed, but I wasn’t. Why would I ever mourn such a lowborn wretch? I thought. I’m son to one of the most powerful lords sworn to the king; his father was only a butcher. The feeling I had during the fight was unlike anything I had ever felt before. When a life was at stake I felt alive. Each swing was an extension of my power, each blow landed was a mark of my righteous power, and when the time came, and my steel bit into his soft, fleshy neck... I was a god. It was no more than an offering to myself.

"Gaius," Kastor said, kneeling before me so that our eyes were level with one another. "You must never do this again, do you understand me?"

"No," I mumbled, looking at some storm clouds brewing over the sea. "Is this not why I'm here?" I turned my attention back to him. "Did my father not send you here for this very reason? Besides.. I quite like it."

A flash of pain hit me as Kastor slapped me once more. He was talking to me, scolding me, I think. But I couldn't hear a word of it. The gulls cried out and for some strange reason my face felt coarse, like it was covered in sand. Soon, all else was cast out by the sound of the sea as the splashing of waves kept getting louder and louder.

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Salt water and sea foam splashed against my helmet, seeping through the eye slits to splash against my face. I blearily opened my eyes, and through the narrow slits saw nothing but water. So, in my infinite wisdom, I quickly turned on my back which did two things: first, my back let out a horrendous crack and then, the salty water that had been pooling on the side of my helmet came round to splash into my poor eyes.

“Argh! Gods why?!” I cried, instinctively bringing a numb hand to rub my eyes only to have it slap against my helm uselessly. Through thin slits and stinging eyes, I saw that my mangled left hand lacking a middle finger was naked. After quickly feeling about myself, I found my mace, and that the rest of my armor was still very much intact. Not as if the cursed gauntlet had done my hand much good anyways.

Sitting up was a painful process. My back cracked angrily and in its rage sent jolts of pain to ride up my back to rest just at the base of my skull. My hands had also become numb while I had slept and the blood started to rush back in. Pain, like an old friend, took time out of his busy day to tell me that they too hurt.

I looked down and around me and saw sand. Lots and lots of sand. Using my superior intellect, I reasoned that a huge amount of water -- plus a tremendous amount of sand meant that I was on a beach. Or possibly a very wet desert… but I'm fairly certain of the former.

I groggily pushed myself up and began to stagger about. I swayed back and forth while, trying to piece together how exactly I had gotten on this beach. I was on a ship. Bethold had put me on a ship with four of his ‘loyal’ men. He wanted us to get something… something importa- My thoughts trailed off and became meaningless as I turned around to see a slaving gully laying on its side with a huge hole burnt through its hull. Oh right… the wizard…

The beach, thanks to the galley and its cargo, was an utter mess. Crates that held the ship’s food supply were strewn about, cracked and charred but otherwise whole. Barrels washed lazily onto the shoreline, being carried to and fro by the waves. Oh, and how could I miss the bloated corpses?

I crawled past the burnt beams and fractured shards of hull and ventured through the remains of the ship. Cold, discolored and bloody water splashed against my greaves, yet I paid it little mind as I looked about. The rooms, while familiar, became impossible to distinguish. I waded into what I thought to be the living quarters and began to search for my room.

I found it, grabbed the chest with my weapons and dragged it back into the sunlight. I fumbled with its latch but it was locked tightly and remained sealed. I reached down to retrieve the key from my pocket, but as it turns out, I wasn’t wearing trousers, but greaves and padding, which did not have pockets. The key, and my pants, were likely at the bottom of the ocean.

“Why do you taunt me?!” I screamed up towards the heavens and then, in a moment of sheer brilliance, I lifted my foot and aimed it at the chest. My foot rushed forward and slammed into the lid, causing its water soaked wooden frame to splinter and break away from the hinges.

For my genius plan, I was rewarded by none other than Sir Pain himself, and how generous he was. This time, my foot and ankle had the pleasure of being the recipient of his splendid reward. My foot even got a few splinters as a bonus. I’m sure that when they fester I’ll be gifted a whole new kind of hurt. But in spite of it all, I was now free to grab my weapons. Inside the chest was both my short sword and claymore, its steel blade was notched and dented from battle and its hilt was a simply thing wrapped in leather. Both had thankfully been within their sheaths, so attaching them to the rest of my armor was not an issue.

I sorted through the wreckage along the beach some more until I found a soaked satchel and the ship’s supply of preserved rations. I would have filled the satchel with dried jerkies immediately, but the cook’s fat body was strewn over the lid.

"I’d bury you, but I don’t have a shovel," I mumbled, heaving his body off the lid. As I filled the bag, his body tumbled and crashed into a nearby pile of crates, breaking the water soaked wood and causing another corpse, which had somehow gotten atop them, to fall down. Said corpse was grasping a shovel in death.

I stated at the shovel for a moment, questioning why he had it. The ship was on fire... and sinking... so this man thought, 'Oh, better grab a shovel, that'll help.' It clearly hadn't. I walked over to the corpse and pried the shovel from the dead man's grasp. In my experience, having a shovel was never a bad thing. I mean, they can be used for digging, bludgeoning things; but as the man had found out, they weren't to great at putting out fires.

I looked back at the dead men, remembering what I had said to the dead cook. I’m sure you would have wanted a burial at sea. Besides, if I gave you a burial, then I’d have to give shovel-man a burial and I've got a fire-wielding wizard to catch… I’m sure you understand. I shook my own thoughts from my head and trudged up the beach, heading towards a distant tree line.

My first goal would obviously be to find a town to both resupply and ask the local peasantry where I was located on the coastline. Next was the matter of the wizard. What Bethold wants with the dead loving bastards is beyond me... but Bethold is not a man you can question. I'll find the cursed wizard, and if I must, I'll drag him back to Aricourt kicking and screaming.

I slung the satchel filled with dried meats over my shoulder and trudged my way up the beach until I found solid land. I then began to look about for any sign of a trail and, with great luck, I found one! By the looks of it, the grass and ground had been worn down by the hooves of horses and wagon wheels. That meant that the next town was probably within a few days ride. On foot it would probably take me a week or so to reach it...

Oh how I love marching...

I gave a low sigh and began to follow the trail. Walking along it I could clearly see that the peasants used this road regularly, due to the relative lack of weeds. Perhaps I would be lucky enough to be happened upon by a traveling merchant? The hope was slim but my entire life so far had been based on slight happen-stances, so it was not entirely outside the realm of reason.

The trail came to a forest that was of an impressive size. Looking into it, I saw that the trail had become significantly darker despite the sun being at its height in the sky. It was a bit unnerving, to be honest, but no knight serving Bethold could afford to be afraid of a collection of trees and shrubbery. Especially when his ire was the alternative.

With another stoic sigh, I pushed onward into the forest to find the cursed wizard and finish my accursed quest.

Author's Note:

Chapter One is back! Sorry it took so long, exams are coming up and I've gotta concentrate on that! But anywho, I hope you enjoyed this and stick around for more!

Remember, I'm always looking for new editors! If you have the grammar skeelz, then you're welcome to help!

Comments ( 30 )

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Might be missing an i there, Zong.

2503514

Find it, mortal! Also get on steam.

Wait what happened to... everything.

That took me by surprise. Can't tell if it's better or the same as the original because of time passed, but I'm certain that few chapters further on will help.

2503833
New characters, new issues gonna come up, new character traits, new locals and plot developments. It's gonna be different, and better I hope.

2503866 We'll see. For now I wish you luck with delivering, and wait for more. I hope this version will come out quicker than the previous one.

2503897
Well, with finals up, this is gonna be taking a back burner. :raritydespair:

Sir Pain Hurtsalot is very generous, always going out of his way to share with everybody.

"No," I mumbled, looking at some storm clouds brewing over the sea. "Is this not why I'm here?" I turned my attention back to him. "Did my father not send you here for this very reason? Besides.. I quite like it."

Shouldn't this say 'me' as well, or am I just reading it wrong because of how late it is and I am tired?

first, my back let out a horrendous crack and then, the salty water that had been pooling on the side of my helmet came round to splash into my poor eyes.

Okay these two were a slight mistakes, but easy to fix. Just remove the comma after "first" and then move the comma from after "and then" to in front of "and".

Using my superior intellect, I reasoned that a huge amount of water -- plus a tremendous amount of sand meant that I was on a beach.

Either add another "--" after the word 'sand' and before 'meant', or instead put it into parenthesis so that it reads like this: "I reasoned that a huge amount of water (plus a tremendous amount of sand) meant...".

I turned around to see a slaving gully

Should read "galley", as a gully is a type of land formation (like a ravine or ditch).

Inside the chest was both my short sword and claymore, its steel blade was notched and dented from battle and its hilt was a simply thing wrapped in leather.

Multiple errors in this sentence. The subject in the first clause is not the chest, but the two blades, so the "was" should be a "were". Also, which of the two swords has the notches, dents, and simple (you accidentally put "simply" here as well) wrapped hilt were you referring to? I am assuming the claymore, so how about making this two seperate sentences? Maybe reading like: Inside the chest were both my short sword and claymore. The claymore's (If you don't wish to repeat the word 'claymore' again, substitute it with "the larger weapon's") steel blade was notched and detented from battle, and it's hilt was a simple thing wrapped in leather.

I stated at the shovel for a moment, questioning why he had it.

Should be 'stared'.

I mean, they can be used for digging, bludgeoning things; but as the man had found out, they weren't to great at putting out fires.

Improper use of a semicolon (they should be used to connect two independent clauses), some misplaced commas, and a misuse of 'to' instead of 'too'. The full sentence should be changed to read as follows: I mean they can be used for digging and bludgeoning things, but as the man had found out they weren't too great at putting out fires.

Next was the matter of the wizard. What Bethold wants with the dead loving bastards is beyond me...

Since in the sentence before you were only referring to a single wizard, there is only one 'bastard', not its multiple wizards. If however Bethold is after more than one wizard in the overarching plot (to be seen in later chapters), then the use of the plural is correct and I am an idiot :P.

I then began to look about for any sign of a trail and, with great luck, I found one!

Okay, this one is a bit tricky for me so I would suggest asking another editor to make sure if I am right about this or not. But get rid of the commas and put the words "with great luck" in parenthesis. Again, this one I am not too sure about so ask for a second opinion.

The hope was slim but my entire life so far had been based on slight happen-stances

"Happen-stances" is actually spelled "happenstances". No need for the hyphen :).

Anyways, sorry about all that editing and such I just provided. Great chapter overall, so I cannot wait to see what new stuff you have in store for us (though I do hope that Blacktooth will be coming back).

2505075
I like you.

If you like the story at all or have the time, you could be an editor for me :D.

wait a minute, wasn't this already up to like, chapter 14 or something?

2505712 Heh, I have enjoyed the tales of Sir Gaius "The Bloody" even before the reboot you've started up... so sure, I wouldn't mind being a proofreader/editor for you now and then. :pinkiehappy: Just send me via private messages a link to where you write the Google documents (or even email me the completed new chapters, whichever is easier for you) and I can give'em a look-see. I admit I am not perfect when it comes to grammar (I am Southern... listening to me speak would tell you that story in a heartbeat hehe), but I will do my best. Try to locate some other editors too, cause I will be doing the same. :twilightsmile:

2505901 Yes, it was up to 14 or so chapters earlier. However, Zong decided to completely overhaul the story (sorta like how Cardslafter did with his "Through the Eyes of Another Pony" story).

2505983

Honesty you'd be a pre-editor to catch blaring mistakes and then it would be ran through another editor I've known longer.

Maybe shovel-man intended to sand the fire, because he saw the beach nearby? That's what I'd hope for in the least

2506295 Sorry it took so long to respond back (busy busy day lol), but sure, I don't mind being the pre-editor. :twilightsmile: Again, you can send me a link to where you're working on the story in Google Docs, or I can send you my private email address via private mail on this site so you can send me the chapter. Whichever is most comfortable with you. Anyways, till later, hope you have a great week and good luck on your exams.

Sir Gaius better not be trying to steal Sir Pain from me, he and I are the bestest of friends! :pinkiesmile:

I volunteer to be your beta.

2515069

Can you go into a bit of detail on what disappointed you first time around? I intend to avoid past mistakes and such,

2519097

I have explained. Quite a bit. On several different occasions, be it author's note, comment or blog. I did it because I felt the story was too contradictory and the characters becoming meshy and bland. So I decided to do a complete overhaul where everything gets cleaned up a lot more.

2516099

Well you said it yourself... Every thing started to mesh together. The story started getting hazy around the middle.

It already looks better than how it was before. The same, but with more details and an actual prologue.

Hope you keep working on it.

2660235
I thought that was what happened! I knew there were more chapters here! Damn, they were good, too! ...Oh well... Nothing we can do except throw stones at him. ...Well, I'm not going to, but you can. :pinkiesick:

I hadn't even gotten around to reading this yet, and suddenly there are only TWO chapters :(

You know, at this point inbthe rewrite there is no pony at all in the story... ya shoulda replaced the chapters as ya went.

is this fanfic dead? i would love to read more of it.

This looks interesting...

Hey why did you quit the story I just read it but notice the giant gap in time of update you going to man

Oh wow this story is ancient

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