OPENING SHOT: SPIKE, sitting in library, reading a book. Looks up startled as disembodied voices begin to sing.
VOICES: Spike, the magic dragon lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee
SPIKE: I what?
VOICES: Little Jackie Paper loved that rascal Spike,
And brought him strings and sealing wax and a seven speeded bike, oh
SPIKE: Uh… no, no he didn't! Cause I never met the guy! And also I don't even like strings or sealing wax… though I wouldn't mind a bike.
VOICES: Together they would travel on a boat with billowed sail
Jackie kept a lookout perched on Spike's gigantic tail
SPIKE: Um, I mean this in the nicest possible way, but… are you high?
VOICES: Noble kings and princes would bow whenever they came,
Pirate ships would lower their flag when Spike roared out his name. oh!
SPIKE: Ok, very funny, whoever is behind this prank… ha ha, but it's getting old now.
VOICES: Spike, the magic dragon lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee
SPIKE: You said that already… still not true.
VOICES: A dragon lives forever but not so little boys
Painted wings and giant rings make way for other toys
SPIKE: What's a little boy anyway? For that matter who are you? Twilight, is this some weird spell of yours gone wrong?
VOICES: One grey night it happened, Jackie Paper came no more
And Spike that mighty dragon, he ceased his fearless roar.
SPIKE: Hello… I'm still a kid here…
VOICES: His head was bent in sorrow, purple scales fell like rain,
Spike no longer went to play along the cherry lane.
SPIKE: Oh my Celestia that's depressing. Hey, if you're going to sing a song about me in the future or something, could you maybe sing it about me being a big hero, not getting all depressed because some friend of mine died? Also, what is a boy?
VOICES: Without his life-long friend, Spike could not be brave,
So Spike that mighty dragon sadly slipped into his cave. oh!
SPIKE: You are depressing me.
VOICES: Spike, the magic dragon lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee
SPIKE: Wait, what? First I'm all depressed because my friend died and then I'm frolicking again? What, am I supposed to go senile or something?
VOICES: Spike, the magic dragon lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee
SPIKE: It's Equestria! And I don't live anywhere near the sea! I never even heard of this Honah Lee place!
VOICES: Spike, the magic dragon lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee
SPIKE: WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP!
SPIKE fires a burst of flame at nothing in particular.
ENTER DR. TRAN, a small human male with very narrow eyes, dark hair and golden tan skin, wearing a green sweater.
DR. TRAN: I see the voices get you too? They never stop bothering me. Even when I go with my friend Leland's crazy grandma to Toy Store, stupid voices still tell me about future like it's happening right now. I going to be completely insane!
SPIKE: Who are you?
NEW VOICE: He's Dr Tran! America's top secret agent! He has a Ph. D. in kicking your ass!
DR. TRAN: I a five year old boy from Vietnam. Don't listen to stupid voices, they liars.
SPIKE: So you're a boy?
DR. TRAN: Uh-huh.
SPIKE: Do you know a boy named Jackie Paper?
DR. TRAN (sighs) You listening to voices! Never do that! They make you insane!
VOICES: Little Dr. Tran loved that rascal Spike,
And brought him gems and other things and maybe finally that bike
DR. TRAN: I do not! I just met him!
SPIKE: Do you actually have a bike? Or gems?
DR. TRAN: NO!
SPIKE: Well, excuse me for asking.
fwwwt
Pfft!
I am a thirteen-year-old dragon and what is boy?
what is this a parody of?
wot
It took me like, a good minute to suddenly remember Dr. Tran... I need to go watch that again now. Good job.
Fun Fact: Peter, Paul, and Mary stated in a PBS interview that there was originally going to be another verse at the end where Jackie Paper's child found (or was given) Puff and the adventures would start again, but it was decided the song would be better without it.