Testing, Testing, 1, 2, WHAT THE HECK IS THAT?!

by TheRoadofGenerations

Testing, Testing, 1, 2, WHAT THE HECK IS THAT?!

Twilight Sparkle was sitting at her desk in the massive hollowed out tree that doubled as her home –and Ponyville’s library. Twilight had her nose firmly in Celestia and Luna’s journal, eager to learn all she could about their lives before Luna was banished.

Twilight’s ears twitched at the sound of the library door opening. She carefully inserted a bookmark and levitated the journal back onto the stand she retrieved it from. She turned around to greet her guest, but stopped short at seeing who entered.

Twilight’s good friend Rainbow Dash staggered into the library, acting as if she had flown into a wall. Though from the look of her tousled mane, that’s probably what had happened.

“Rainbow Dash? What happened?” Twilight asked in concern. Rainbow Dash shook her head as if to clear cobwebs and focused on Twilight.

“Uh, I was flying around Ponyville, ya know, just being bored,” she began slowly. “Do you remember how I… What did you call it when I see everything while I fly around?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Cataloguing?” Twilight added helpfully.

“Yeah, that! Cataloguing. Anyway, whenever I fly around, I catalogued” she sounded out the word slowly, trying to commit it to memory “all the things I see.”

Twilight rolled her eyes playfully and laughed. “Yes, Rainbow, I remember. It wasn’t that long ago that we figured that out.”

Rainbow Dash chuckled too, although still slightly on edge. “Yeah, anyway when I was flying around near Sugarcube Corner, I saw something weird.”

“How do you mean ‘weird’?” Twilight asked. “Was it like a pony walking on two legs or something?” Twilight had seen that once before, at a circus. Twilight shuddered involuntarily at the memory.

Rainbow eyed Twilight warily at the random suggestion, and the subsequent shudder, but shook her head. “No, it was weirder than that.”

Twilight shook out of her stupor. “Okay, was it Pinkie Pie trying to create some crazy new baked good? You said Sugarcube Corner, right?” she asked, trying to get her rainbow toned friend to elaborate further.

“No, she has the day off. She’s somewhere.” Rainbow trailed off, quickly glancing around the library as if expecting their energetic friend to pop out. Twilight chuckled at her friend, understanding her concern. She herself had checked the bookcases several times, looking for more Pinkie Pie hiding spots.

“Well what then?” Twilight huffed. “I’m bad at guessing games.” She pouted. It wasn’t her fault, she just usually got way too specific. Not her fault at all.

“I saw an antler.” Rainbow Dash finally said.

Twilight blinked. “An antler?”

Rainbow nodded. “Yeah, a white antler sticking out of the wall of Sugarcube Corner.” Rainbow elaborated distractedly, as if still not believing what she saw. “And then a little while later I saw a tuft of hair or something on top of Carousel Boutique.”

“But- Wha- Why-” Twilight was at a loss for words.

“Yeah,” Rainbow groaned, “and when I was flying on the way over here I ran into this.” Rainbow Dash reached into her saddlebags to pull out a large, purple bat wing.

Twilight stared in shock as the bat wing flapped lazily in the hoof of a clearly unsettled Rainbow Dash.

For a while, neither of them said anything, both of them just staring at the wing. Twilight recovered from her shock first, absently noting that the bat wing is probably what mussed up Rainbow’s mane.

At least that explains Rainbow’s mane now, Twilight thought. “But” Twilight started, “what does any of this mea-” she was suddenly cut off as a bright light filled the space between her and her friend. The light died down quickly, and in its place stood Discord, Spirit of Chaos.

However, he didn’t quite look finished. Twilight noted that Discord seemed to be missing some body parts. His left leg, the one that would normally belong to a pony, was missing; his red reptilian tail was curled up underneath him to act as a substitute. His right arm, the lion’s paw, was also missing, but nothing replaced it. He also lacked either of his wings and a good deal of hair from his face, but Twilight couldn’t pinpoint what. The draconequus also only had one horn on his head, the wavy blue one. Before either pony could say anything, Discord reached down and picked Rainbow Dash up with his remaining arm.

“You found it!” he exclaimed. “You found my wing! Oh, bless you, Rainbow Rash!” Discord’s voice was full of exaggerated affection as he cradled the shocked pegasus pony against him. Without warning he dropped her and grabbed the purple bat wing and placed it on his back, where it attached itself with a quick sucking sound.

“Discord?!” Twilight shouted “What are you doing here, and why are you missing body parts?!” She was completely frantic.

Discord turned around, as if noticing where he was for the first time. “Twilight Sparkle?” he asked in faux surprise, although it was hard to tell with his eyebrows missing-in-action. “How wonderful to see you again, my dear friend.” He drew out the word ‘friend’, as if he knew how much their strange friendship unsettled her.

“Yeah, what gives?” Rainbow said, getting up off the floor and dusting herself off. She was glaring at the back of the trickster, also noticing his distinct lack of appendages.

“’What gives?’ you ask? Why, I’m playing Hide-and-Seek, of course.” Discord explained, as if telling them that Celestia raised the sun every day.

Twilight stared dumbly at her odd friend – honestly, he had pushed that word to its limits – and against her better judgment, asked the question.

“Hide-and-Seek with whom?”

Discord scoffed. “My body parts! Come now, girls, you’re both smarter than that.” He chided, a mocking grin on his face, pointed tooth gleaming.

“B-b-but how?” Rainbow Dash sputtered. “And more importantly why?!” Twilight took some solace in the fact that she wasn’t the only one freaking out.

Discord groaned as if the question was beneath him. “Because I’m bored!” he groaned out. “Come on, Rainbow Rash-”

“Dash!” she corrected angrily.

“Whatever.” Discord dismissed. “Do you know how boring it is in Canterlot? Celestia doesn’t need me right now and I made a promise” he spat the word out like a petulant child, “that I wouldn’t cause any more trouble, so I have to entertain myself. And what better way to do that than Hide-and-Seek?”

“But what about Fluttershy?” Twilight asked. “Isn’t she the one who usually keeps you entertained?” She hated to use Fluttershy like that, but they seemed to have a better relationship that anyone else had with Discord.

Discord began floating around the library, doing a one-handed backstroke. “Oh, she’s taking her little bunny friend on a field trip to get more carrots. Little guy only eats a certain kind of carrots from a certain field. How selfish.” He said as he started pulling books from the shelves and throwing them behind him after reading the titles. “I mean, can you imagine how anyone can be such an inconvenience?”

“Discord,” Twilight groaned. “Stop that!”

“Stop what? I’m just looking for a book. Isn’t that what libraries are for? Honestly, Twilight, you should learn a little more about books and libraries.” Discord snickered before floating off to another shelf and continuing his ‘search’.

Twilight let out a frustrated noise from her chest as she tried to pick up the discarded books. She was about to shout at him again, but noticed something out of the corner of her eye.

“Uh, Discord?”

“Hm?” he responded, turning his head slightly, but not pausing his perusal.

“I think I found your eyebrows.” Twilight said evenly as she pointed to the window at the far end of the room. Discord and Rainbow Dash, who had been silently watching the byplay, looked to where she was pointing. Sure enough, two great, white eyebrows were inching themselves along the windowsill like hairy caterpillars. That image would take some time to forget.

Discord let out a whoop before descending on them in a swoop. He stood proudly – on his real leg and tail substitute – while holding the eyebrows between his fingers. Twilight and Rainbow both swore they could hear the things squeaking as they tried to wiggle out of his grasp. Discord quickly pasted them back onto his forehead, waggling them as if testing that they still worked. Finding that they did, he gave the two ponies a thumbs up.

Both ponies once again stood in silence at the oddness that they had just witnessed. Rainbow Dash decided to break the awkward silence. “So, how long have you been playing this round?” To her credit she did sound curious.

Discord looked ponderous for a moment. “Probably around seven hours or so. It’s hard to tell, my watch is on my other arm.”

“Seven hours?” Twilight and Rainbow exclaimed.

“How the heck is it taking you this long to find your body parts?” Rainbow asked, incredulous.

Discord pouted. “Well, why don’t you try to find things without your eyes!” he said. He moved his hand to cover his eyes, closed it, and then brought it in front of Rainbow’s face. He opened it to reveal his red and yellow eyeballs staring up at the pegasus pony who let out a little shriek. It didn’t make it any better when one of them winked at her.

Discord put his eyes back in his head as he fell over from laughing, drawing a glare from a flustered Rainbow Dash. Discord slowly got up as his laughter died out and he noticed the two glaring at him.

“Oh, come now, ladies, you’re being much too serious!” he exclaimed jovially. “Both of you need to relax, you’re too uptight, especially you.” He pointed to Twilight, who looked affronted. “Anyway, I’d love to stay and finish our little chat, but I really must find the rest of me. It’s so lonely being away from myself.”

Rainbow Dash scowled at him, but decided to help him anyway. “I think I saw your beard on top of Carousel Boutique,” she muttered. She immediately regretted it when he grabbed her in another one-armed hug. He dropped her again just as suddenly.

“So that’s where he’s hiding, how clever of him! So long, everypony.” And with a flash he was gone.

Twilight and Rainbow stared at the empty space for a few moments before Rainbow spoke up.

“I’m gonna put my head down for a few minutes,” she muttered. “Try and forget this happened.”
Twilight nodded and gestured at the stairs.

“You can use the spare bed if you want.”

Rainbow thanked her and slowly walked up the stairs. Twilight looked at the mess Discord had left and sighed. Friendship was indeed difficult, and now she had a mess that needed cleaning up.

“Spike!”

Comments

[ferret]

> not a clopfic

[Crystal Static]

I was almost expecting the 'And then they had sex' ending when I first read the title...

[Antor]

this was nice, like a little short straight out of the show

[Goldymarg]

4th WTG entry I'm giving input on.
Hello, this is Goldymarg ~

I noticed there was a whole lot of telling and not a lot of showing, but I suppose we could chalk that up to there being a four day deadline. Either way, the 'show and not tell' rule should always be kept in mind when creating a narrative. I also noticed liberal amount of name-usage when referring to characters, which can get pretty stale if you're not careful.
As far as the premise goes...it's nothing special, but still entertaining in it's own right. I think Antor put it quite nicely

[Daring Cammie Do]

“Come on, Rainbow Rash-”

img14.deviantart.net/a713/i/2014/336/4/a/rainbow_rash_by_nintendo_lover_kat-d88fhil.png