Experience

by Bad Horse

Just one question

A white light appeared on the top of the hill, bobbing and stretching for a few moments before it settled into a narrow cone of light whose tip pointed east. It grew brighter, until a hazy golden aura reached from it off to the horizon, glowing with tiny sparkles, the kind so faint that they would disappear if you looked directly at them.

The stars winked out one by one. Then the first color returned, a deep blue filling in the blank black slate of the night. By the time birds had begun to chirp, the pre-dawn light showed the pale rosy outline of a unicorn taking shape beneath a glowing horn. Any inhabitant of Equestria would have realized it was an alicorn, and which alicorn it was, long before there was enough light to make out the wings folded along the figure’s back.

Dark horizontal stripes began to rise over the horizon in slow waves: deep purple, sea-green, amber, and finally rosewood. Then a golden spot surged out in front of them, surrounded by a red glow.

The alicorn watched that spot, but kept glancing down to a form lying on the grass near her hooves. You would have to have been standing quite close to see that it, too, was an alicorn; that its color, after accounting for the red light, was probably closer to purple than to midnight blue; and that its sides, glistening with dew, rose and fell in the slow, steady rhythm of sleep.

A connoisseur of sunrises would have said the dawn came exceedingly gentle that day. Its intensity rose more steadily than the slow crescendo of a master violinist.

Celestia smiled when she looked off towards the yellow disk, still small and dim. She smiled more when she looked down at Twilight, who was snoring lightly. Her mouth hung open, the breath rising from it turning to mist in the cold air. The red-golden light came in low and caught just the outer edge of her fur, making hairs glow like waves of sparks each time her chest rose and fell.

Celestia leaned down and stretched her neck towards Twilight, glancing back and forth between her and the horizon, and frowning critically at the hues reflected off her as if the sole purpose of the morning were to illuminate this one figure. The dew began to evaporate from Twilight’s flanks, and she twisted her neck about and grumbled in her sleep. The light crept softly over her back, trying out blue, gold, and red on her before settling on a bright lilac. She rolled onto one side, away from the light, but it was undeterred, and kept stroking her with a touch gentler than any lover, while Celestia looked on.

Twilight mumbled something and turned back towards the light. Her legs, which she’d drawn up tightly against the night, spilled back out freely again, opening her chest to the wind and light. Her eyebrows relaxed, smoothing out her eyelids. The warm rays teased a smile from her face. Finally the lids of her eyes drew slowly open, the eyes beneath still dreamy and unfocused. The Sun Princess looked into those eyes and began to sing:

Blue from the bottom of the sea of dreams,

White from the eye of the storm,

Red for the river that inside you stirs,

Gold for the bugle-blower’s horn.

The colors in the sky blazed forth one-by-one as she called their names, and in the instant that she named the last of them, the colors in her coat and the colors in the sky all hummed one rainbow chord together, and you could see that though her coat looked white on the surface, underneath it was really purple, blue, gold, and red all at the same time.

Gone are the dusty browns of past regrets,

Starlight has scoured them away.

Dreams that the stormclouds scattered yesterday

Are redrawn in the colors of the morn.

By the time she finished, Twilight was looking back at her and smiling happily. “I remember that song,” she said. “I wish you sang more often.”

“A princess may sing in public, Twilight, but a ruler, only in private. Otherwise everypony will ask her to sing in order to flatter her, and everypony will be too busy acting like they’re enjoying it to enjoy it.”

“But why did you sing it here, now?”

Celestia smirked. “To prevent you from jumping up and apologizing about sleeping through sunrise the moment you woke up.”

Twilight jumped to her hooves, stumbling twice before all the different parts of her body were awake enough to realize what she had just asked them to do. “Oh-no, oh-no, I slept through the sunrise! I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’ll get up extra early tomorrow—”

Celestia laughed. “Twilight, there are morning ponies, and there are evening ponies, and I’ve known for a long time which kind you are. It’s in your name, for goodness sake.”

“‘Twilight’ actually refers to any daylight produced only by atmospheric scattering—”

“Yes, yes. Anyway, I wanted you to feel it, not study it.”

“Oh... Princess! You didn’t have to do that for me.”

“Well, Princess, perhaps some of the other ponies in Equestria will appreciate the day, then.”

Twilight began stammering an explanation of what, precisely, she’d meant to say, but Celestia shushed her. “Look,” she said, and indicated with her chin not any particular place or thing, but the entire meadow spread out before them.

They were standing on a small rise above a fallow field. Ahead of them, the sun was rising above a row of trees, big oaks and firs with dark shrubs clumped around them. A stream on their left ran toward it, full of run-off from Canterlot Mountain. There was nothing exotic or dramatic about the scene, which may be why Celestia, a ruler who often drove her royal chef to despair by requesting unsalted peas and raw carrots, had chosen it.

“You’re probably wondering why I asked you to spend the night out here,” Celestia said.

“I wasn’t,” Twilight said. “Now I am.”

Celestia paused to purse her lips, and tapped the grass beneath her with a forehoof. “I wanted to wake you with the sunrise.”

“You did?”

“Yes.”

Twilight frowned seriously, digesting this information. Then she brightened. “Well,” she said. “You did that!”

“More specifically,” Celestia added, “I wanted to watch you waking to the sunrise.”

“You wanted to... watch?”

“Yes. It was… very sweet.”

Twilight flicked her ears nervously and her cheeks turned from lilac to a royal purple as she waited for Celestia to say something more. Celestia just looked off towards the sun.

“Is… is that everything?” Twilight said in a hushed voice.

“No,” Celestia said, “not everything. I wanted to ask you something. Something I’ve never asked anypony before.” She still wouldn’t meet Twilight’s eyes. and her face was, incredibly, also turning slightly pink.

Twilight looked straight ahead and stood very still for several moments, like a rabbit that doesn’t know whether to freeze or bolt.

“I’m sure it’s a good question, then,” Twilight said hesitantly.

“It’s a little self-indulgent.”

Twilight bit her lip and took in a deep breath. She extended her left hoof out to the front and exhaled. Then she reached her head up towards Celestia, until the princess looked her in the eye.

“You can ask me anything,” she said with a smile.

Celestia opened her mouth to speak, then shut it and sighed. Finally, she took a breath, and turned her face to Twilight, her eyes glistening.

“What’s it like?”

Author's Note:

Three questions:

1. Too purple?

2. The story uses the second-person three times. The first two are more distant: "the kind so faint that they would disappear if you looked directly at them," "You would have to have been standing quite close to the pair to see that..." But the third is straight 2nd person: "You could see that though her coat looked white on the surface..." Is that okay? Did it bother you?

3. How do you feel about the shift from the big section of description to the section with mostly dialogue?

A long note about writing this story, that you don't need to read:

This was supposed to be a quickie for “The Twilight Zone”. I knew exactly what was to happen, so it should have been a simple matter of writing it down. I banged out the basic story in under an hour. It was about 300 words, and completely flat. The story, after all, is basically this:

Celestia woke Twilight with the sun, then asked her what it was like.

That’s it. So why did I want to write it?

My idea was that Celestia loves her art, and loves to give ponies the experience of being woken by the dawn--especially her special student/friend/fellow princess Twilight. But watching them makes Celestia wistful, because Celestia herself can never be woken by the dawn. She wants desperately to know what it’s like, but is embarrassed to ask, because she's trained herself to be averse to self-indulgence.

Twilight, meanwhile, is confused, then thinks this awkward conversation is leading--finally?--to Twilestia. She is alarmed, considers it, decides to be open to the possibility, and waits for answer with eagerness and dread.

So much to explain! But I had a point-of-view problem: I couldn’t use Celestia’s point of view, because that would reveal what she wanted, which would ruin it not just as a no-Twilestia-for-you punchline, but also miss the subtlety of “this is something really nice which I love to do for my friends, but sometimes I wish somebody could do it for me, once”. And I couldn’t use Twilight’s point of view because she’s asleep for most of the story. I had to explain why being woken up by the sun would be interesting and pleasant, and how it’s an expression of love for Celestia, but I couldn’t tell any of it. I had to show everything.

Then I was faced with the problem of lulz. How heavy should I play the Twilestia misdirection? Crank it up hard, make Twilight eager for it, and it’s a crackfic. Ignore it, and you’d lose that humor, and the vulnerability Celestia shows by being too concerned about her question to realize how her actions come across to Twilight.

When I wrote about Twilight waking up, I thought Twilight would jump up and be embarrassed and apologetic about sleeping through the sunrise, and it would be all Lesson Zero instead of sweet and tender. So I thought maybe Celestia could prevent this by singing to her, because even Twilight can’t jump up and spaz out when the Goddess of the Sun is singing to her. But then I’d have to write a song. A sappy, not-at-all-evil song. A song that a magical unicorn princess would sing about the sunrise. The sweetness and light, it burned. I had to read a clopfic afterwards just to feel dirty again.

It stretched out to over a thousand words, and those thousand words took hours, then days, to write. Its simplicity made it harder, not easier. There was no plot or clever dialogue to fall back on. It was like building a house of cards--a push one way or the other almost anywhere could ruin it. I read about dew points and the insulating power of fur to figure out whether a horse’s hair could have dew on it. I spent an hour watching videos of sunrises, which never show what I most wanted to see, which is how the sunrise reflects off a foreground object. I puzzled over why the ordering of colors in the sky at sunrise is not the same order as the colors in a rainbow. I learned that Hollywood directors film sunsets and play them backwards as sunrises, because movie people don’t like to be on set before dawn, and you can tell when they’ve done this because the sun rises up and to the left instead of up and to the right.

I feel pretty stupid for having taken four days to write one scene. But here it is. Procrastination provided by 2048.

Comments

[Shamus_Aran]

Well, it worked. Damned if I know how, but it worked.

[SeiRyu]

Great short story... I am surprised I have never thought of the fact that Celestia can never see the sun rise, as I tend to think about things like that. It made the ending very effective, though. A simple question that had great buildup and great meaning. Only problem I can see is that some readers may not like how much it hints towards Twilestia (several little things reaffirm the suspicion in the readers mind); I don't have a problem with it, though.

I wish you could have a story with no tags, as the lack of romance tag when reading makes the reader slightly confused as to why there seems to be many hints at shipping (I'm complaining about the genre tag system, not the story).

Anyways, fantastic little story; it is now in my top favorites of stories about Twilight's and Celestia's relationship (whether platonic or not).

[Sypher]

Trying to write a description of someone waking up to a sunrise can be boring because it’s short, boring because it’s long, ir sappy and sentimental.

I think this story shows that I have no idea what I want to see in a slice-of-life story. It's short and it's sweet and I understand what you're trying to do, but it's not something I could call a favorite. I don't believe that's an issue in the story; it just leaves me mostly unaffected.

[Jordan179]

Nice tale! And, before I read it, I had never really considered that Celestia wouldn't ever get to be woken by the sunrise!

[Causal Quill]

Bad Horse, I am very sorry, but I can tell you wrote the song. It disturbed me.

[Prak]

This just didn't work for me. I can understand the original idea being too short and needing expansion, but this story felt really forced, like half of it was just filler to reach the necessary word count.

Also, the prose started out really purple, which I'm not necessarily opposed to, but the shift in style once the characters started talking was jarring to me. On top of that, the dialogue about Celestia's singing had no payoff, so it was just filler as well.

The idea at its core is sound, but it just didn't come together in a form that resonated with me. I won't downvote it since I reserve that for stories that are painful to read, but I can't give it the green thumb either.

[The Seagull Milker]

This was really nice and sweet

[Web of Hope]

Well. That was uncharacteristically adorable of you, BH. Good job.

[Bad Horse]

4206156 Disturbed you because it was disturbing, or because it was just bad?

4206221 Yeah, the shift in style... you're right.

[Causal Quill]

4206362

It wasn't bad.

[Causal Quill]

4206362

The overly abbreviated answer amused me more than it should. Here is the longer analysis of why it bothered me:
Nightmares
Hurricanes
Blood
In this collection, I don't want to know what role the bugler plays.

[Twifight Sparkill]

I'm three things, if forced to choose what particularly moves me in a story, and they're simple in essence: I am a slice-of-life fanatic, a bonafide Celestia/Luna supporter, and um... I love Appledash - that's not actually applicable here, but it nevertheless completes my selfish tend, so there. Get over it.

This portion of Celestia's duty does leave her with no actual idea of how daybreak affects her beloved waking subjects, really. Her role simply doesn't allow for it, her back turned and eyes closed throughout. Mind, it's discussed as a niggling curiosity near the end, opposed to some deep-rooted angst that's concerned her for aeons, and ends succinctly. Perfect! Having said that, I recall a Monty Python skit with a similar ending, so I snickered a bit come the abrupt end.

It's a lovely act, thank you for sharing with us. The soft colours playing as the dawn crept on high, creating a solar painting of vibrant hues amidst a dying starlight sky. Brilliant. I saw every facet for your painterly prose.

I personally had Celestia's song, sung in proper voice, play gently in my mind as I read her lyrics. Very beautiful.

I give it my thumb and a gold star for an entertaining read. Even if they didn't make out.

[Titanium Dragon]

This was a very nice idea for a vignette, and the only reason I wasn't convinced before the ending that it was going to be a Twilestia fic was the lack of a romance tag.

It is a sweet idea and a very nice one, and I can see why Celestia would be embarassed about it.

I am also amused by films using sunsets instead of sunrises, something I didn't know.

[archonix]

Everyone keeps saying it was sweet, but I found it rather melancholy. She can ask all she wants and gain academic understanding, but Celestia can never truly know.

[Geminii]

It does hang together well, and all the myriad tiny points requiring extended research for a throwaway mention were much appreciated.

The final line did, perhaps, put me more in mind of Monty Python's "Nudge Nudge Wink Wink" sketch than intended, but that may just be my own background.

[Antor]

I had to re-read the last few lines and finally it dawned on me. I felt a little sad for Celestia just there it may have taken days to write this scene, but boy what a scene it is!

[TheLastBrunnenG]

Thumbs up for a lovely little slice of life, and for you once more giving us something besides doom and gloom and angst. Honestly I thought you'd given up on anything lacking sad/dark/tragedy tags. Oh, for a few more chapters of Sisters...

Loved the bit about why rulers must never sing. That's exactly the sort of aphoristic teaching I imagine Celestia will concentrate on for Twilight's eventual ascension to the throne.

Pardon me while I imagine the unwritten Twilestia epilogue which I'm certain you meant to include. Wait - you did mention you wrote a clopfic afterwards...

Question: if Celestia wanted to experience being awoken by the dawn, why didn't she ask Luna to raise the sun for her? If Celestia can handle moon and stars for a thousand years, Luna should be able to handle a single sunrise.

Twilight, there are morning ponies, and there are evening ponies, and I’ve known for a long time which kind you are. It’s in your name, for goodness sake.

"Twilight" is actually both times (morning and evening).

[GhostOfHeraclitus]

I love it.

I absolutely utterly adore it. It's sad, in a way, yes, but it is not bleak. It is quite the opposite. I not only like it I am also immensely cheered by it. Suddenly life seems a little bit brighter, a little bit more valuable, a little more worth living.

My hat is off to you, sir.

And I actually really like the way it isn't Twilestia. Sudden romance would cheapen it. What it is instead is a powerful friendship moment. It shows, I think, a profound sort of trust in Twilight. Celestia trusts her to see her wanting, imperfect and she trusts her to answer such an important question. Magnificent.

Thank you, BH.

[FanOfMostEverything]

A meticulously crafted work, and a heartwarming one at that. Thank you for it, Bad Horse.

And I take back what I said about the cover picture. It works quite well when scaled to cover image size.

[Alondro]

So Celestia wishes to know what it feels like to wake up to a sunrise. Pretty much like waking up at any other tme of day, really. Just a different light level. *Emotions are everrated. Pragmatism wins at life!*

I will totally sing when I rule the world... *has PLANS...*

[Lo Lo]

Aw, that was a really heartwarming story Well done!

[Alondro]

4206756 She can't know what it's like to die either.

What's worse, she can't even ask anypony who's died what it's like!

Sooooo... dark fic now of Celestia dying to find out what dying feels like?

[cloudedguardian]

This was worth every bit of time you put into it. It came out beautifully. Congrats on the feature, you certainly earned it.

[Obsidian Ink]

4207399 I remember reading a comedy fic of exactly that premise. She found out that the afterlife was pretty dull, actually...

[Georg]

Just the right touch, like a fine wine appreciated in the hours when life has paused for an infinite timeless moment, and you know it will all end at the bottom of the glass, allowing the world to flood back in.

[jp523]

A few quick notes:
As a huge Twilestia fan, I am way more pleased with this ending than any sort of shipping. The core aim of any romance, for me, is emotional intimacy. If that intimacy arises naturally, then the romantic elements are unnecessary.

I felt that the description was initially off-putting, as it avoided character names initially, and was more purely physical than most of what one reads on this site. By the end, though, it was clear why the description was written that way, and in a shorter piece like this, I think a break from formula is justified by the immediacy of the payoff.

I wonder, however, why Celestia cannot ask Luna to raise the sun in her stead. This seems odd, since Celestia was able to assume control of the moon in Luna's absence. Some obvious reasons come to mind: lingering mistrust, a fundamental power imbalance between the sisters, or the comparative importance of the sun's movement as opposed to the moon's. Altogether, it seems plausible that this would not be an option, I just wish my justifications didn't rely on my own conjecture.

[icekatze]

hi hi

I'll admit that it was kinda awkward up until Twilight actually woke up, but the end was indeed nice.

[ArgonMatrix]

That was sweet.

[Icanhazmochi]

Taking DAYS to write something beautiful and poetic like this? Now THAT'S good dedication, I reward you with a thumb and a star. Very odd gifts if you ask me :P

[John The Dragon]

"Luna, (or a bunch of random unicorns) can you raise the sun for me? I wish to see the sunrise for the first time."

"Of course, sister (or a bunch of "Your Highness!")."

Boom goes the dynamite, problem solved.

[Alondro]

4207574 The only show on the Afterlife Network is endless reruns of "The Mary Tyler Moore Show".

[TheJediMasterEd]

This being a Bad Horse story, I kept waiting for tragedy to strike. Towards the end the suspense was almost unbearable.

And then to find that the ending was actually poignant, low - key and sweet--what a diabolical twist, sir! Absolutely diabolical!

[Clocklike]

x4.fjcdn.com/comments/gt+Attempts+to+make+witty+comment+that+won+t+receive+red+thumbs+_cc44043d633ba969c668dcfa3050cae8.jpg

[Kagitaar]

4206398

I see it as dreams, calm in the storm, blood/life, and the dawn. Still not sure how they all connect, but at least for the bugle I can see the connection clearly to the dawn.

[Flying Fantasy Horse]

Coolio!

[Captain Burrito]

4207172 dawned

[Princess Glitzy]

What was the question?

EDIT: I went back and read the author's note. I get it.

[ArguingPizza]

Seriously, all that effort put in pays off in spades here. The Twilestia tones, the perfect derailment, all of it.

[ArchAngelGundam]

I never acutaly thought about that. Good to know someone did.
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.

[Blue_Paladin42]

Too purple?
This is a story that would never have worked if it wasn't. The story, Celestia's desire to know what it is like to wake with the sun, in order to understand this, you have to first see the sunrise. Had you just wrote, "The sun rose and it was pretty." this would have fallen pretty flat.

As an aside, your description of a sunrise was gorgeous.

[Darian StephensBACKUP]

4209280
Grr, I should've read the story before reading the comments!

[Door Matt]

Yes this works and yup it works extremely well. If there is anything wrong with the execution, it's small enough for me not to be able to pin down.
Not entirely convinced about the effectiveness of your song's first verse....but the second? There's something mighty powerful in there. Top marks for that.

Oh...and uhh....thank Christ there's no Twilestia. Putting that junk in would've been cray-cray.

[CrimsonBurner]

His name is bad horse
The thorough bred of sin
He got the application that you just sent in
It needs evaluation
So let the games begin
A haneis crime
A show of force
A murder would be nice of course
Sent by bad horse

[Commander Rainstorm]

I get it! Since Celestia always wakes up before the sunrise beacause she controls the sun, she is never woken up by the sunrise!
Wait. That's what you mean, right?

[vladspellbinder]

The sweetness and light, it BURNED. I had to read a clopfic afterwards just to feel dirty again.

I like the cut of your jib.

Fun little story. I never really did like sun rises myself though. I've always been an evening person but I can understand why Celestia would want to know what something she had a hoof in was like.

[Mondoblasto]

Well written. I however couldn't help thinking, "Couldn't she just have Luna raise the sun while she slept in a little longer?"

[Setokaiva]

Oh... oh, my. That's so poetic, and so in-depth, and so true...

Very well written, Bad Horse. You've got one heck of a muse when it comes to this sort of thing.

[DreadedCandiru2]

I almost thought she was asking what it's like to be asleep.

[CptBrony]

That was one of the most beautifully written scenes I have ever read. I saw it all in my head, from the rising of the sun to the few on the grass and to the little lines and sections of each blade of grass and the fur on the princess's face.
Bravo, good sir.

[Songleaf]

4210173
Indeed. It was beautifully written, and extremely descriptive. I loved reading this, and felt bad for Celestia. Just, just beautiful.