To recognise the mane cast for their efforts in saving from Equestria from an eternity of night, chaos and other problems, Princess Celestia decides to invite them to the Mid-Spring Honours event, one where ponies of particular noteworthy achievement are rewarded with titles befitting their accomplishment.
Could this be the time for Twilight to make her move? Could jealousy cause an irreparable rift between two close friends? And is there more to this night than first meets the eye?
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I'll update the characters as they appear. Any criticism you have is fully welcome, as long as it isn't baseless insult; the more I learn about what you like or how to write, the more enjoyable I can make the story for you.
Chapters (1)
The lunch scene mad me
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I shall keep an eye on this.
Gonna read it later, but the possibilities? TwiDash, Twarity? Twutterdash? Twike?
Oahps, looks like it's TwiDash.
Mental facehoof.
This is a really lovely start. There's a nice flow in the story, and it did make me want to read the next part Right Now.
Still, it's a shame that all the "soul-searching" seems to be done with already in this story. Both Dash and Twi seems to already be fully aware of how they feel for each other, though I might have got Raritys comment to Twilight all wrong. It adds a lot of depth to a story when you actually get to experience a characters building emotions, or the conflicting feelings when they realize that they are feeling the way they do towards another female, rather than a male.
Still, as a feel good story it's quite fun. But unless you manage to add more depth I'm afraid it won't leave a lasting impression, at least not with me.
22294 Interesting comment. I tried to make it seem like the two of them didn't know about the other's feelings; just that Twilight was a bit more forward than Dash. I'll probably have to make that clearer over the next few chapters.
And as for the feel-good part...well, I'm saying no more. That'd be spoilers. Thanks for the comment, though. I'll keep it in mind for future stories. (I already have two more plots for other stories in mind: neither of them shipping. *gasp*. Though, if this one goes down well, I may do more.)
really nice work. you have a solid foundation here and I know your going to build one hell of a story! you have set up a great plot and you gave your self so many opportunities for all kinds of twists,
And if I may barrow what the great Scootaloo once said, "I'm liking this idea."
Please keep it up, I will be looking everyday for the next chapter. Keep it up
22843 Thanks. I was trying to create intrigue while giving away as little information as possible. I mean, the pairing's obvious, but some of the other aspects aren't - even though you may be able to deduce them from just this one chapter.
Anyway, I'm surprised to see the first chapter of my first ever fic for anything - ever - being accepted so well. I may not be very timely with updates; writing takes time for me, and I like it to be right. I wasn't actually entirely happy with this chapter, but towards the end I was getting nowhere with it, so I thought I might as well put it up and see how it goes; if I got good reception, then I'd run with it, and bad reception, come back and heavily edit the chapter before adding another, perhaps even scrapping it and starting over. Glad to see it hasn't yet come to that. I'll try to live up to your expectations with future updates.
22298
Ah, you might have misunderstood me.
I don't mean that they are aware of each others feelings. I fully acknowledge that they have no idea on that part.
What I meant is that they are both aware of their own feelings. That is, Dash is already fully aware that she's in love with Twilight. Twilight is fully aware that she's in love with Dash. There's no build-up where one of them has to acknowledge that feeling to herself, we're skipping that and instead jumping right into the "Worrying about confessing your feelings" part of the story.
Did that make my comment any more clear? It might be a personal preference, but I always miss the whole realization of being in love. Most shipping fics kind of skips this bit. The whole "By Celestia! I think I'm in love with *insert character here*" moment can be quite powerful and really add to a story.
23055 I see your point. I'm more partial to that sort of thing too.
I guess I was a bit too influenced by a comment I read on another story - I can't remember which one - that said something along the lines of "I'm fed up with stories that have an amateurish Wow, she's hot, wait, did I really just think that thing", and I have noticed that there are a good few with that particular trope around. I guess I just wanted to try another angle, and ended up leaving out the early build-up.
I intend to emphasise the relationship later, but in a different way. I don't know if it'll be to your liking, but I'm going to give it a shot. Thanks for the comments, though; it's really helpful to know what one's audience is looking for.
I love Fluttershy trying to play matchmaker. And pretty much everything else. Will there be more?
43019 I'm hoping there will, but as it stands I can't seem to write any more on this. I know exactly where I want the story to go and exactly what I want to happen, almost right through to the end. The only problem is putting in details for chapter 2: no matter how I try to write it, it just feels like filler, and I don't want any unnecessary chapters. The only way I can prevent it from being filler at the moment is to make chapter 2 about 12,000 words long, and even then most of that will still be relatively uninteresting. Looks like I'll have to try cutting some content out...I hate cutting stuff out. It's so much harder than putting it in.
...wait, that sounded wrong.
43357
...Now where did I put that actual comment...? Oh, right, here it is!
Okay, I'm loving this story right now. So far it's kept me interested and entertained and it has that awesome feel and flow to it. I can't wait for you to continue this. Keep up the good work!
119647
It may be a while; I've got a few others I want to finish first. I may have to rewrite this chapter before continuing. That way, I can leave chapter 1 in a more appropriate place, and not bore you with a whole chapter of nothing for the second. I can't really leave it out, as it's important, but I don't want all the boring stuff in one chunk. I try and spread it out over two, and have something exciting happen either side. Whatever the case, this story isn't my priority right now, so it'll stay on hiatus until further notice.
Anyway, thanks for the comment. I like hearing constructive criticism, as it helps me get better, but having praise helps my ego *cough* confidence. As soon as I find a chance, I'll continue this.