The Struggles of Radiance
Chapter One
Mother told me about how she had a journal to write in, how she wrote about things that were going on in her life at the time. She told me how it is a good way to keep track of what one is feeling, and a good way to put things into perspective. So I decided I should start a journal of my own.
I should probably write down more about me, just for posterity, if somepony a thousand years down the line decides to take an interest in the birth-daughter of Queen Chrysalis and Prince Shining Armor. I am an ivory colored unicorn with insectoid wings. My eyes are like my mother's, as well as my teeth. My mane and tail are like my father's, but in the same color as mother's. I eat 'pony food', but my magic is fueled like a changeling's, where I need to absorb positive emotions for it. I am only two years old, but I look and feel more like the twelve year old foals that I hang out with. Mother said it has something to do with the fact that changelings mature a lot faster than ponies.
When I first started going to school, a lot of ponies were afraid of me and mother, but I know that is simply because they fear changelings. Mother taught me all about changelings and their history, and she has been teaching me some changeling magic. Aunty Twilight has also been teaching me unicorn magic. Unicorn magic uses more power than changeling magic, but it is more versatile. I am trying to learn all about unicorn and changeling magics so I can impress mother and father. The other day I was able to turn a mouse into a potted plant, much to Aunty Twilight's amusement. I am also learning how to fly.
Rainbow Dash is giving me and Scootaloo flight lessons. I only wish that Rainbow would stop making wonderbolts metaphors because it is really getting annoying. I know she wants to be a wonderbolt, but that doesn't mean she has to constantly talk about them like her life depends on it. Either way, I have learned a lot about flying, and I am quite maneuverable in the air. Scootaloo is a good flyer herself, once she got into the air. I had to teach her about pegasi magic and how to use it before she could fly. Pegasi magic is a lot like changeling magic, as both are based on desire and will. I wouldn't be surprised if Scootaloo tried to learn the Gale King martial art that I read about in a history book, as it apparently relies heavily on pegasi magic.
School is boring, but I get to see all of my friends. Applebloom is hardworking, and she is good at designing things, she designs all of the different things we make when we go crusading. Sweetie Belle is a bit of an egghead, but then again, so am I. She can sing though, and if she were older, she could join the opera or something. Scootaloo is a lot like Rainbow Dash, brash, headstrong, and determined. If anypony could earn a medal for being awesome, it would be Scootaloo.
I have to finish up, as my fellow crusaders have just arrived.
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I can't believe I was grounded for the day. We were going to try to get our cutie marks as demolition experts, but mom came downstairs and said that no daughter of hers is going to destroy the town. I am going to try and come up with a list of things we could do when we go crusading for the next time we have a meeting.
It would still be awesome if we could be demolition experts though…
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I was suspended from school for a week… Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon were being really mean, they said things like my mother is a dirty bug who should have been executed for attacking Canterlot, I turned Diamond Tiara into a potted Everfree Thistle plant, and Silver Spoon was turned into a raspberry bush. The spell that turns ponies into potted plants picks a plant that most resembles the pony's personality so I think I got the last laugh. There is no counterspell, but it wears off in about five hours.
Mom was originally going to ground me, but then I told her what they were saying, and she instead took me to Sugarcube Corner for milkshakes. I told her what spell I used, and what DT turned into, mother passed out from lack of air…
She woke up before Pinkie Pie could call the hospital. I then told Pinkie about how mom passed out, she wanted to know what was so funny. She passed out too… My face still hurts from the epic facehoof I did…
The other Crusaders insisted on giving me an award for putting DT and SS in their places, so now I have a paper crown glued to my forehead… I hope mom doesn't get mad, she probably will though.
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I am no longer suspended. When I first walked into the classroom, all of the students (Besides DT and SS), cheered, drawing many demerits from Miss Cherilee. Everypony thinks turning DT and SS into plants was worth the suspension though.
At recess, I was telling ponies about the spell I used, and how it turned ponies into the plants that most resembled their personality. It took a few moments for them to connect the dots on DT becoming an everfree thistle, but then everypony just broke out in laughter. Then someone called DT 'Dorky Thistle' and everypony cracked up even more. Miss Cherilee came out and scolded us for laughing at DT, which is complete bull since she never hears DT making fun of other ponies. I called her on that bull, and she gave me detention… Mother wasn't happy… at first, then she took me to get milkshakes again… (I think mother has an unhealthy attachment to milkshakes as a celebratory beverage)
I might be dense, but how does a Everfree Thistle plant and a raspberry bush match DT and SS personalities?
4227767 DT is prickly and nopony likes her, SS is prickly but has the potential to be liked.
By prickly I mean has a hard time getting along with others.
Oh, okay. Keep up the good work.
4227783 Thanks...
You did read 'A Queen's Lament' right? It does take place before this.
yay the sequel i like it and i got a question is Queen Chrysalis and Prince Shining Armor raising their birth-daughter together in the same house or not
You call it polishing a turd, I call it well written and in-character for a filly's diary
4227821 Chrysalis is raising her in Ponyville alone, but Shining Armor comes to visit bi-weekly from the crystal empire.
4227832 When I said polishing a turd, I was talking about the fact that I am continuing what I consider a polished turd (A Queen's Lament is essentially a polished turd of an idea that I had...).
4227854 isn't Shinning Armor the father of Radiance and ok
4227866 Yes, but he still married Cadence and rules the Crystal Empire with her.
4227875 ok
Do an implied Chrysalis and Shining private bonding somewhere in the story.
4228880 This is a sequel to another fic I wrote, you should read that one first.
Short version is that while Chrysalis was impersonating Cadence in Canterlot before the invasion, her and Shining Armor did the horizontal tango...
4228888
Yeah, but the embarrassment levels are higher IF Radiance once caught her mother and father do such a thing, or at least be noisy about it once.
4228962 The whole premise is that Shining Armor and Chrysalis have no love for each other, but love Radiance dearly, Shining lives in the Crystal Empire with his wife, Cadence, while Chrysalis lives in Ponyville raising Radiance. Shining visits often to see his daughter, but not to do anything with Chrysalis.
Yes! For the record we just shouted that aloud right now.
This is much better! You're fleshing Radiance out a bit, and made a continuity tie without shoving it down the reader's throats (well, except the author's note, but those don't really count in the story, right? ). We're also not leaping along the timeline, which is good.
So far this is starting out well, now on to the next chapter! ;)
This REALLY needs better punctuation. The spelling looks impeccable, and the word choice and fluency is just as good. And then we get back to the punctuation. I've noticed something; you should replace all of your commas with a semicolon, and read through the sentences to figure out where to PROPERLY add commas. It reads rather bland--monochromatic, in an emotional sense. Reader emotion can make or break a story, and the lack of emotion is a major turn-off. However, I will continue to read because I'm curious as to where this will go...
Since she is technically an illegitimate child, is she a bastard?
Ermigod, Forbidden reference! (It's a Sombralis fic)
Like it! XD Good OC. I have read "A Queen's Lament" yet though, but it's cool. I didn't get the ref though...
References as far as the eye can see! The best one is that little gem that possibly foreshadows Scootaloo ripping half of her house apart.
How did you predict what I would do after reading that line? Are you psychic? Wait a minute, I forgot that this is what most people in this fandom would do after reading that. Insert 'Fluttershy=Tree' joke here. I know someone will, so I might as well get it out of the way.
Now that this business is taken care of, onto chapter 2!
Savage Skies Reference, YES!
And Seriously Cheeriliee, if all the ponies in your class cheer on Radiance then you are not doing your job DT SS need to be put in there place.
Snrk, nice. Finally getting around to reading this.
4345686
By definition, yes she is.
By the demonized term, she is anything but that.
I love the fact that the two snobs got what they deserved
Why haven’t you posted it on FanFiction.Net yet you already did the last part.
11200342
Uh what? I've never posted anything on fanfiction.net...