My Ex-coltfriend, Rolf

by Dr Atlas

Rolf remembers, yes

Twilight walked cautiously toward the overcoated pony. “So...you must be...?”

The pony instantly threw the his hat at a nearby coat hanger, making everyone yelp in surprise. He put a hoof to his chest and held his head high. “I am Rolf! Son of a shepherd, here to help with...um...” He rummaged through his coat and pulled out a piece of parchment, reading it out loud. “‘To help with the Shy ones condition of being turned into a vampony?”

Applejack groaned. “Rolf, shes not entirely ah-”

Rolf crumpled the paper, turned around, put the tip of his hoof to his mouth and whistled, causing everyone in the room to shield their ears. “VICTOR!” he yelled “Come to Rolf!” Within seconds a white goat came in, carrying an assortment of supplies on his back.

Fluttershy gasped. “Why do you have that poor goat carry all of those things?”

With his back still toward them, Rolf said, “Well, Rolf would've used Willfred, but Rolf has learned not to trust that swine with his things.” He walked up to Victor and shoved the paper into his mouth. “Besides, Rolf knows Victor is one of his most reliable and trustworthy animals. Yes Victor?” Victor swallowed the paper and said a baah in response.

Twilight walked towards Applejack. “Does the way he talk kind of remind you of somepony?” She whispered.

Applejack knew exactly who she was referring to. “Yeah, that's why ah didn’t like Trixie the moment I saw her. The way she talked in a thirdpony perspective made me think of….him.” Applejack pointed to Rolf.

Rolf turned around and faced Applejack “So, is the tree bucker happy to see her once true love again?” He said with a smirk.

“Ah don’t like you anymore Rolf!” She yelled. She didn’t want any of this to come up. She just wanted Rolf to help with Fluttershy, and then leave. “Now will you just-”

“Ahh yes.” Rolf walked up to Applejack and wrapped an arm around her. “Rolf remembers the days of our youth, how we use to spend our time out in the fields.”

“And how you never shut up about those stories about you and your family?” Applejack said in annoyance.

Rolf pushed AJ, causing her to crash into Twilight. “Not just that.” He said “But also having Rolf talk about him and his family.”

AJ groaned “Thats what I-”

“Rolf can even remember where we first met.”

Twilight started getting curious. “Where did you guys first meet?” She asked. Applejack immediately put a hoof in her mouth.

“Twilight, don’t-”

“Let Rolf show you.” Rolf took hold of the right side of the screen and moved it to the left. Transitioning it to a new scene of the story.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So, how long is your family of apples wanting to stay in Rolf’s village?” A young brown coated pony with a blue mane asked.

“Long enough tah sell the cider, ah suppose.” A blonde maned, stetson wearing, orange mare answered. “Your village doesn’t seem tah want that much.” She sighed and slouched on top of her cider stand. Thinking this trip would be all for nothing.

The brown stallion chuckled “That is because the villagers prefer a much stronger drink, not none of this apple cider.”

The mare stood up and pointed at him “Hey now, don’t knock it, till ya tried it.”

The stallion raised an eyebrow “Very well then orange one, show Rolf this miracle elixir.”

The mare smiled. She ducked down under the table and came back up with a mug full of cider in her hoof. “Go ahead, give it a taste.”

The stallion took hold of the mug. “The farm mare is certain that this mixture of apples has a great flavor.”

“Eeyup.”

The stallion shrugged and took a sip, which turned into a couple gulp, which then turned into him chugging the entire glass. In the middle of it he took a few short breaths and continued drinking, all the while the mare looked at him in complete bewilderment. As soon as he finished he smacked his lips. “Rolf must say, this is a tasty beverage.”

“Told ya. So, now that you’re done with that..” The mare took hold of the mug and pulled the stallion with it. “How about you taste something else.” She ended with a smile.

The stallion smiled back. “Rolf thinks he knows what the farm mare is talking about.” he closed his eyes and moved in for the ki-

The stallion then felt a smack across the face.

“That ain’t how it happened!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rolf shook his head and came back into the present, he felt pain on the right side of his face, and there stood before him was of the same orange mare, but her smile was replaced by a hateful glare.

“What do you mean farm mare?” Rolf questioned. “Is that not how it happened?”

Applejack was ready to give him another smack across the face, but Twilight came in between them before she could get the chance. “Rolf,” Twilight said. “how does drinking cider lead to a kiss?”

“It don’t!” Applejack yelled “After he took ah swig of that entire mug, he went on talkin’ about how his family made even better drinks.”

“But they do.” Rolf stated, making Applejack furious enough to charge at him. Luckily Twilight was able to hold her back with her magic.

“Applejack! This isn’t helping Fluttershy.” Twilight said.

“Yes Applejack, we must stop this reminiscing.” Rolf walked over to Victor and rummaged through his belongings until he pulled out a box. He looked back at the still steamed up mare “So, where is this vampony?”

Applejack had enough. She broke the magical grip Twilight had on her closed the gap between Rolf’s face and her’s. “Listen here ya little-”

“Rolf is listening.” He interrupted, making AJ lose her patience even more.

“Ah didn’t bring ya here just so you could embarrass me.”

“It isn’t Rolf's fault that the mare is embarrassed.”

“Yes it...UGH...Will you just help out with Fluttershy!?”

“Who?” Rolf said with a confused look on his face.

Applejack goaned and grabbed the sides of her hat pulled them down to hide her face. Not wanting others to see the expression of pure anger that was plastered all over it. Meanwhile, Twilight started to get worried. She glanced over at Fluttershy who was hiding behind her hairs throughout the entire scene.

Then she looked over at the arguing ex-lovers. This stallion was acting like a jerk, but he was the only thing that could help with Fluttershy's condition. If this won’t work, then maybe nothing else will. Taking a deep breath she walked over to the still arguing ponies. “Ahem!” Twilight said out loud.

Both of them turned around and said, “What is it!” with Applejack saying it louder.

“Rolf, listen. We really do need your help. You are practically our only chance at turning Fluttershy back to normal. If you don’t help, then she might stay like this forever. So can we just stop all of this and start helping.”

Rolf and Applejack stared at Twilight. Then at each other. Rolf wondered if he should say something. After all, that is how Rolf’s family talked. Applejack just shook her head and walked away before Rolf could say anything. She crossed her arms and looked away, not even wanting to look her ex-coltfriend. Rolf frowned and looked at Twilight. “Very well, alicorn girl, where is this Fluttershy you speak of.”

“O-over here” Rolf and Twilight glanced over at the vampony, hiding behind her hairs throughout the entire scene. Rolf gave a broad smile and walked toward her. Causing Fluttershy to laying down on the floor in fear.

“So you are the one who has been turned into a horrible beast, yes?” Rolf asked. Fluttershy noded in response. “Rolf would like to see the mares face if he is to know how serious this condition is.”

“Wait, how serious it is?” Twilight questioned. “She’s looked like this for two weeks. Nothing else has changed.”

Rolf turned around and looked at Twilight. “Does the horned and winged one not understand. A vampony goes through many changes until she reaches her final form.”

“Final form?” Twilight said.

“Probably just somthin’ he made up.” Applejack sneered.

Rolf turned to AJ. “You don’t understand blond haired one, there are many stages that a pony goes through until they become a vampony.” Rolf looked at Fluttershy. “If she was at an advance stage then she-AAIIIEEE!” Rolf shrieked at the sight of her. He could see her red eyes, fangs, teeth. All of this made him fall to the floor.

“I-is it really that bad?” Fluttershy said. Applejack and Twilight ran over to her. “Do I...really look like a-a…” She was on the verge of tears.

Applejack glared at Rolf “Rolf! will you not-” Before she could get a word out, Rolf grabbed her and Twilight and pulled them to the box he had gotten out.

Rolf rushed toward them and opened the box. “Are you mares mad! Do you not know how far she is into becoming the nasty blood sucking creature!” Twilight and AJ stared back at in complete bewilderment.

“Rolf.” Twilight said. “You’re over reacting. She isn't that-”

“AH HA, Rolf has found it!” Rolf pulled out an object and hoisted it into the air, making everyone in the room freeze. It was a wooden stake.

Before anyone could react. Rolf lunged toward Fluttershy and pinned her to the ground. Everyone looked at him in horror. Fluttershy looked up to see Rolf towering over him. Stake at hoof.

“May your soul…” He put a tight grip on the stake and raised it into the air. “BE RIPPED CLEAN FROM THIS WORLD!”

Comments

[Seether00]

Damn it, Rolf!

[SaP]

No doubt about it, you got Rolf's character down.

[mapu]

Rolf! Rolf! Rolf!

[ZeroChill]

Where's the Feather-duster of Tomfoolery when you need it?

Also, you misspelled 'really' as 'realy'

[Dr Atlas]

4207672
Yeah...Watching every episode over 50 times in your life does that to ya

[Serefin]

Oh, Rolf.... Will you ever make sense?