Titans Fall in Equestria

Titan fall my little pony9 stories ·31 members

Titan Pilot Squad Delta, is one of the most revered squads in the IMC. The members of Delta Squad: Hell, Ares, Snake, and their Specter, Clockwork are deployed to an unexplored plant that is rumored to have a Militia base which is supplying Militia without the IMC knowing. But what they find on the planet's surface will not only change the war, but their lives forever.

Chapters (2)

Comments ( 15 )

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Comment posted by Arxsys deleted May 3rd, 2014

Dartagnen

Dartagnen #2 · May 2nd, 2014 · · · Prologue ·

I like the story. Other than a few grammer mistakes, it's fine.

Akiba

Akiba #3 · May 2nd, 2014 · · · Prologue ·

4327232 *grammar

Arxsys

Arxsys #4 · May 3rd, 2014 · · · Prologue ·

Whatever happened to:

(Also, any constructive criticism would be great help for future chapters and stories!)

Comment posted by Dead Heaven deleted May 3rd, 2014

Dead Heaven

Dead Heaven #6 · May 3rd, 2014 · · · Prologue ·

4329950

(This is has been a test of the FimFiction comment section system)

I do appreciate you pointing out the grammatical errors with a my story, and I'm sorry if deleting your comment was out of the blue and/or disrespectful. I'm still trying to understand a lot of things with this site because I have not been here long.

For the grammar, my editor's computer broke, so I didn't have the support I needed to make my story as beautiful as I was hoping. Though he should have his computer fixed soon so my grammar shouldn't be so horrible in later chapters. Anyway, Thanks again for the constructive criticism. I always like when people point out flaws in my work, it only means I'll be a better writer for the next thing I write.

spudicous

spudicous #7 · May 3rd, 2014 · · · Prologue ·

I only have one criticism so far. Hell's name, I can see it being a bit confusing whenever the action starts up, People will be saying hell as an expression and it may cause people to think that someone is saying the pilots name. I would suggest if you want to keep his bad ass appeal, naming him something like Hades -which is Greek for Hell- it is commonly used to describe the God instead of the place so it should make things less confusing. Great story so far though and I can's wait to see it continued.

Dead Heaven

Dead Heaven #8 · May 3rd, 2014 · · · Prologue ·

4333417

I understand what you mean the it comes to the name choice. The reason I decided for the name of "Hell" was not only because of it's my username, but because I wanted to be able to throw in a little lol or two like, "What the hell!" or some lame joke like that. I did think of using Hades, but I decided against it because there was already a Greek god's name being used.