When a mysterious ship lands in the Everfree Forest, Luna rejoices at the chance of meeting an alien for the first time as well as getting an opportunity to travel the stars. She gets more than she bargains as she finds herself lost in space alongside the ship's pilot, Nico. Now the two must fight together against whatever the universe throws at them, going from planet to planet searching for a way to return Luna back to her home. Will Luna be able to return home or will she be forever lost? Will she be able to reflect on this experience and learn that there's more than just adventure?
A Starbound and MLP crossover
Chapters (9)
Okay, kudos on the plot, evil penguins that speak french or whatever it was, and using a Sci Fi space ship to get the human to equestria was very creative.
The scene when Luna was looking through the telescope was great. It showed her blissful ignorant side wonderfully.
Although this has a LOT of grammar errors and the execution was pretty jarring. I couldn't get involved past the "Star Trek" feel although you did make a pretty believable character, but in order to make him stay believable you have to break him. Expose a weakness of his, maybe he was put into slavery by the penguins after they slaughtered his entire family, making him watch. Make us feel for the character.
Overall this was a great concept, it just lacked in the execution
Thanks for telling me this! I respect your constructive criticism and the points you bring up. I'll try to work on my flaws to make this story better and more enjoyable!
When will there be more? This is great!
4619098 Don't worry. I'm almost done with another chapter. Expect it soon.
When this is finished I would like to animate it.
4708808 Oh snap! I never knew you would like it so much. It's hard to determine when I'll be done. I am typing whenever I find the time. Maybe a around a year if I put alot of time into this. Again, I'm honored that you like this so much. Really does provide a warm feeling in my heart.
4709273 Ja.
It's interesting...
"We'll build a distress beacon."
A score shall be settled.
Reminder: dreadwing usually sends a goon to attack someone with a distress beacon, he would not go himself.
4734951 Oh don't worry about that. Dreadwing is gonna do more than just send a single goon to get Nico.
But seriously, you absolutely right. Just look at this bastard, don't you wanna hug out of the soul of it? http://th00.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2013/248/e/6/poptop_with_hair_bow_by_jaconok-d6l5754.png
Oh, and this little Codex encyclopedia idea is genius. Keep up the brilliant work, I can't wait the next chapter.
Finished my First Impressions Critique, and you can find it here.
No romance but continously put into awkwark situation si fine by me.
Great story, can't wait for the next update.
Never heard of Starbound...
...Oh well, reading anyways.
It's not dead? Yes! *Fist Pump*
Hehehehe
What, Just happened?