Humans, one of the many intelligent species of Earth. But what will happen when a war for the extermination of Ponykind starts? How will the Humans react to this threat? Follow the futuristic human specie, while they are dealing with the events.
Ack, this chapter wasn't written very well, it just read so, blandly.
All of a sudden, the wings on the creatures backs folded in such a manner, that it was enough to make the ponies recoil in fear.
Sentences like that don't actually tell us much and are really awkward to read, you really needed some description there, like "it snapped shut, making the ponies jump back in fear," and that's not really an isolated incident here, its actually a pretty common problem in this chapter.
You also tend to "overdescribe" (I'm sure there's and actual word for it somewhere) where it isn't needed.
The humans although, weren't impress by the weak demonstration of force.
You didn't need the weak there, it interrupts the flow and is really unnecessary, just having them unimpressed would be enough the get the point across.
It would probably do you well to read over that chapter and rewrite it a little, the plot's good so far, and I like the way the humans act here but this writing, man.
Wow, finally the wait finnished, now I think that the next chapters should appear in less time, that is if you were planning this entire time, if not, well, would you tell us when it will be? other than that, good chapter.
ARRHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why is there always a cliffhanger in all the best stories that take awhile to update?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! WHY!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Hope you don't mind the picture dump. More city pics on this awesome authors Halo/Mass Effect crossover codex!!!! Orion Station city codex Thank you for finally updating and more pics for story will be incoming as you update more chapters. So for now..... GET BACK TO WORK YOU MAGNIFICENT WRITER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I truly hope that the humans in this have a reason to be acting like this instead of the age old "We're humans so we're better!" thing. I may enjoy stories that show humanity as the superior species but I just hate it whenever someone uses that as the reason.
Still this story has my attention and I eagerly await for more.
5104369 Sorry to rain on your enthusiasm but i have to correct you there.Humans arent top/apex predators.On a scale of 1 to 10,with 1 being the score of a primary producer (a plant) and 10 being a pure apex predator (a animal that only eats meat and has few or no predators of its own, like a tiger, crocodile or boa constrictor), based on diet, humans score a 4,42-roughly equal to an anchovy or a pig.
5104529 Technically, humans ARE the apex predator. an apex predator is the creature who dominates the food chain, not having natural predators. No animal actively hunts humans as prey (murders don't count)
5104314 Great Scott! That's a lot of images! Anyways, yes a lot of those are pretty much spot on. And for the magnificent writer part; I'm not that great really. In fact, I consider myself pretty bad at writing.
5104958 You don't seem that bad to me. There are several odd word choices and the occasional incorrect word here and there but this is thus far hardly unreadable, grammatically or otherwise.
For a moment I thought you were going full Stargate: Atlantis, by the way. For clarification, were those defense towers built out in the ocean or simply submarines?
You are a good writer, you only need to improve in some aspects, because if I didn't think you were good, I wouldn't of have started reading this story or waited months for the story to update. And I'm pretty sure I'm also speaking for the other people who have read your story and waited patiently for it.
Quick question, where those wings shaped like real wings or where they shaped like airplane wings? Also could you give the humans hardlight tech from the Halo universe, because they could have hardlight weaponry from Halo 4, or structures or armour using it, and they could also use it to make actual realistic bird wings that they can control using neural interfaces (Hope you have those too), which they can use in conjunction with anti-gravity tech to fly like actual birds/pegasi and then turn those wings into shields, cqc weaponry, etc.
5104314 Actually, seeing these pictures and city images, I just can't wait our glorious race more glorious future. Who said we humans not badass at all? Guys, we are going to be the king of the whole galaxy, i say. Yeah, love and tolerance for mankind, oh and annihilation for all the filthy xeno wermin. Anyway, brilliant chapter buddy, absolutely worth the wait. And i don't know why but i started listen that music when the humans arrived.
5104229 I laughed so hard at this! I know that you're not mad at the author for how he's/she's writing, but at where he/she stopped at. Still, such a hilarious reaction!
5105502 I know what you mean, but it could be that they (the soldiers present) were ordered (or allowed) by their superiors to give an abrupt and intimidating presentation due to the fact that humanity is definitely prideful and wants to remind others that it is the dominant race, etc. (that's not my mindset, BTW).
5107072 Because it's easier to lash out at something we don't feel comfortable with or don't know than it is to leave it alone, and even harder to understand.
An easy one that involves leadership is amusingly enough, the sub-text for a popular story at the moment. "You can rule with either fear or love." Guess which one's easier?
5104613 I have to disagree, we aren't apex predators, but we are the apex hunters of this world, to be a predator, we must tear our own prey using our bodies, and we don't have claws, paws, fangs or any natural weapons, we technically are hervivores that just learned to kill in an unconventional way, wich allowed us to rise to the top of the food chain.
5107985 Our brains are extensions of our bodies. Using our intelligence to forge weapons to kill stronger creatures, therefore, makes us the apex predator.
5108008 We don't have the natural killing instict that a predator has, at most some can develope with training similar insticts in stealth, warning, etc. We can't call ourself predators if we haven't been born to kill, we are born with survival instics, and in a small amount, herd instics.
We don't have the natural killing instict that a predator has
What. We're omnivores. I don't even understand how you can say this when we're the most dangerous creature on our planet currently slaughtering animals by the millions for their meat.
Jezz guys, like i said before, we are all humans, we are going to rule the whole fucking galaxy, so don't need to start arguing what we are or who we are, just deal with it.
Wait...
....
Ack, this chapter wasn't written very well, it just read so, blandly.
Sentences like that don't actually tell us much and are really awkward to read, you really needed some description there, like "it snapped shut, making the ponies jump back in fear," and that's not really an isolated incident here, its actually a pretty common problem in this chapter.
You also tend to "overdescribe" (I'm sure there's and actual word for it somewhere) where it isn't needed.
You didn't need the weak there, it interrupts the flow and is really unnecessary, just having them unimpressed would be enough the get the point across.
It would probably do you well to read over that chapter and rewrite it a little, the plot's good so far, and I like the way the humans act here but this writing, man.
hmm... sleep or read?
read
Wow, finally the wait finnished, now I think that the next chapters should appear in less time, that is if you were planning this entire time, if not, well, would you tell us when it will be? other than that, good chapter.
I bet they you based the human Exo suits off of CoD advanced warfare
ARRHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Why is there always a cliffhanger in all the best stories that take awhile to update?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! WHY!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
cliff hanger you bitch
Meh...
Oh CanadianFluttershy, for your Aurora city designs will you use any of these city concepts? (Hopefully you do)
images3.alphacoders.com/113/113247.jpg
hdwallpapers.in/walls/sci_fi_atmosphere-wide.jpg
fc02.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2012/354/d/8/sci_fi_city_downtown_by_jadrienc-d5olkce.png
free.wallpaperbackgrounds.com/sci%20fi/city/city-sci-fi-42917.jpg
fengzhudesign.com/images/gallery_image_556.jpg
markosun.files.wordpress.com/2014/08/city33.jpg
wallpaperup.com/uploads/wallpapers/2013/10/30/167641/big_thumb_0efecc01640f5d082b4f986bb6c3d29a.jpg
images3.alphacoders.com/953/95395.jpg
images5.alphacoders.com/324/324167.jpg
media02.hongkiat.com/cities-of-the-futures/futurecitytoorobertdbrown.jpg
ballistart.com/images/pages/future.jpg
upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/c/c2/Depiction_of_a_futuristic_city.jpg
newevolutiondesigns.com/images/freebies/futuristic-city-wallpaper-29.jpg
newevolutiondesigns.com/images/freebies/futuristic-city-wallpaper-30.jpg
newevolutiondesigns.com/images/freebies/futuristic-city-wallpaper-41.jpg
imgbase.info/images/safe-wallpapers/digital_art/1_miscellaneous_digital_art/21252_1_miscellaneous_digital_art_futuristic_futuristic_city.jpg
media02.hongkiat.com/cities-of-the-futures/crossfatecityconceptadimono.jpg
media02.hongkiat.com/cities-of-the-futures/adventofyellowstonetheswordsman77.jpg
fc02.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/212/0/0/futuristic_city_2_by_joakimolofsson-d59agkh.jpg
media02.hongkiat.com/cities-of-the-futures/MeduzartsSubaruEp3INetGraFX.jpg
media02.hongkiat.com/cities-of-the-futures/CanyoncityAndreeWallin.jpg
thehdwall.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/Art-City-Future-Transport-Roads-Cars-Skyscrapers-Futuristic-Cities-Wallpaper-Pictures-HD.jpg
wallpaperhi.com/thumbnails/detail/20120604/cityscapes%20futuristic%20photography%20mass%20effect%20fantasy%20art%20citadel%20mass%20effect%202%20city%20skyline%201920_www.wallpaperhi.com_90.jpg
hdwallpaperscool.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/future-city-hd-wallpaper-free-download.jpg
tunguska.pl/wp-content/gallery/wizje-miast-przyszlosci/14.jpg
fc02.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2011/162/6/0/waterfall_city_matte_painting_by_aretoon-d3iodnh.png
Hope you don't mind the picture dump.
More city pics on this awesome authors Halo/Mass Effect crossover codex!!!! Orion Station city codex
Thank you for finally updating and more pics for story will be incoming as you update more chapters.
So for now..... GET BACK TO WORK YOU MAGNIFICENT WRITER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
5104314
It's the cover image so probably, yeah.
I truly hope that the humans in this have a reason to be acting like this instead of the age old "We're humans so we're better!" thing. I may enjoy stories that show humanity as the superior species but I just hate it whenever someone uses that as the reason.
Still this story has my attention and I eagerly await for more.
5104369 Sorry to rain on your enthusiasm but i have to correct you there.Humans arent top/apex predators.On a scale of 1 to 10,with 1 being the score of a primary producer (a plant) and 10 being a pure apex predator (a animal that only eats meat and has few or no predators of its own, like a tiger, crocodile or boa constrictor), based on diet, humans score a 4,42-roughly equal to an anchovy or a pig.
5104529 Technically, humans ARE the apex predator. an apex predator is the creature who dominates the food chain, not having natural predators. No animal actively hunts humans as prey (murders don't count)
Damn what was it that they saw? The human city? Oh please you MUST!!! Update soon!!!!
Be careful where your commas go!
5104042 Saw it
5104698 Yeah, just discovered that I do a lot of comma splices. I love comas, a bit to much.
5104385 Probably???....
5104314 Great Scott! That's a lot of images! Anyways, yes a lot of those are pretty much spot on. And for the magnificent writer part; I'm not that great really. In fact, I consider myself pretty bad at writing.
5104958
You don't seem that bad to me. There are several odd word choices and the occasional incorrect word here and there but this is thus far hardly unreadable, grammatically or otherwise.
For a moment I thought you were going full Stargate: Atlantis, by the way. For clarification, were those defense towers built out in the ocean or simply submarines?
10/10 i hunger for more
5104314
imagizer.imageshack.us/a/img405/3638/jgr.gif
5104385 I know, Lol, thats why I put it there because I just couldn't resist.
5104958 You DARE consider yourself a horrible writer?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!....... HERESY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
whec-assets-live.s3.amazonaws.com/2014/06/36279_0733b6d3e42e25a790db4fc9502e80ae.gif
You are a good writer, you only need to improve in some aspects, because if I didn't think you were good, I wouldn't of have started reading this story or waited months for the story to update. And I'm pretty sure I'm also speaking for the other people who have read your story and waited patiently for it.
5105160 Thanks and feast your eyes on the awesome glory of human tech superiority!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Quick question, where those wings shaped like real wings or where they shaped like airplane wings? Also could you give the humans hardlight tech from the Halo universe, because they could have hardlight weaponry from Halo 4, or structures or armour using it, and they could also use it to make actual realistic bird wings that they can control using neural interfaces (Hope you have those too), which they can use in conjunction with anti-gravity tech to fly like actual birds/pegasi and then turn those wings into shields, cqc weaponry, etc.
5104314 I like number eight. It has a slight Blade Runner feel to it. The incorporation of the port directly into the city is also a nice effect.
Other than human soldiers being so unprofessional, it's good so far.
5104314 Actually, seeing these pictures and city images, I just can't wait our glorious race more glorious future. Who said we humans not badass at all? Guys, we are going to be the king of the whole galaxy, i say. Yeah, love and tolerance for mankind, oh and annihilation for all the filthy xeno wermin.
Anyway, brilliant chapter buddy, absolutely worth the wait. And i don't know why but i started listen that music when the humans arrived.
Very nice chapter, but I found a very minor thing you may want to edit.
I think that should be, "had given you the green light". I look forward to seeing more.
5104229 I laughed so hard at this! I know that you're not mad at the author for how he's/she's writing, but at where he/she stopped at. Still, such a hilarious reaction!
5105719 Oh my god love two steps from hell. This is highly motivating! Thank you!
5105502 I know what you mean, but it could be that they (the soldiers present) were ordered (or allowed) by their superiors to give an abrupt and intimidating presentation due to the fact that humanity is definitely prideful and wants to remind others that it is the dominant race, etc. (that's not my mindset, BTW).
5106513 Agreed! It's right up there (imoa) with Audiomachine.
Why are the humans such dicks?
5107024 Because of this.
5107072 Because it's easier to lash out at something we don't feel comfortable with or don't know than it is to leave it alone, and even harder to understand.
An easy one that involves leadership is amusingly enough, the sub-text for a popular story at the moment. "You can rule with either fear or love." Guess which one's easier?
5107024 It would be pretty funny if a small band of ponies in their best military equipment were compared to well...
Us.
Besides, we always get a kick out of being dicks .
5107203
This is true, we really do love being dicks. It's hilarious.
5104613 I have to disagree, we aren't apex predators, but we are the apex hunters of this world, to be a predator, we must tear our own prey using our bodies, and we don't have claws, paws, fangs or any natural weapons, we technically are hervivores that just learned to kill in an unconventional way, wich allowed us to rise to the top of the food chain.
5107985
Our brains are extensions of our bodies. Using our intelligence to forge weapons to kill stronger creatures, therefore, makes us the apex predator.
5107985 Alright, rephrasing the statement: Humans are the Apex Species on the planet. Done.
5108008 We don't have the natural killing instict that a predator has, at most some can develope with training similar insticts in stealth, warning, etc.
We can't call ourself predators if we haven't been born to kill, we are born with survival instics, and in a small amount, herd instics.
5108039 Yeah pretty much so.
5107842 Ain't dat da truth.
5108103
What. We're omnivores.
I don't even understand how you can say this when we're the most dangerous creature on our planet currently slaughtering animals by the millions for their meat.
Jezz guys, like i said before, we are all humans, we are going to rule the whole fucking galaxy, so don't need to start arguing what we are or who we are, just deal with it.