.................I'm Fryguy, and I like writing and stuff, I love making friends.
Ponyville never have seen these type of dragons before, one that shoots blue fire, on that has itself set on fire, one that shoots lighting, or can redirect lighting. But when something called dragon root somehow falls from the sky, the dragons go crazy, using deadly attacks, Twilight runs to Fluttershy, who she thinks has the braves and ability to tame the dragons. Can she tame them in time? Or is Ponyville going to be burnt to the ground?
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Hehe, Fluttershy with the HTTYD dragons.! Is so cool! :D
4090941
I'm Glad You think this is cool, it popped into my mind this mourning thinking, what would Fluttershy do with these dragons who are going crazy? I'm glad how it turned out so far!
4091039 Hehe, you know, I would like to see a story where the ponies go to the HTTYD world and meet the cast.
4091203
Hmmmmmm.......Maybe I'll do that as a sequel, or something!
I really think your idea is a good one, I'll see what I can do!
Plus, I think Spike's mustache is weird
Literary!
4091245 Great, thanks! I also think is s great idea. I really like crossovers and seeing how different characters interact.
Yeah, the mustache is weird, I really don't know what he sees in it.
Great story! But I wish it was longer.
and spikes mustache is soooo wierd!
sorry, I can't like this story, you desperately need an editor. Normally I don't mind spelling errors, but this story has so many, it's actually difficult to read. second there are severe pacing problems. Everything is happening at a million miles an hour. Third, you seriously need to use punctuation. Run-on sentences are EVERYWHERE! I can probably count at least 10 problems in every single paragraph of this story. Disliked until these issues are solved.
4143074
Currently being edited.
4143074
I hope you like my new improved story, I recently edited it, and if you still see the mistakes in my story, please tell me!
It got a little better, most of the spelling has improved, however the pacing problems are still there in the second paragraph the pacing is very slow due to feeling the need to describe everything about the dragons throughout the chapter. (describing every single dragon, and beginning every single sentence with "Another" makes it feel really droning on. 2nd paragraph.) There's also a problem with contradicting statements. Take for example in the 3rd paragraph Derpy drops the box for "no reason", yet in the next sentence we're given the reason that it was too heavy. Few things make sense in this story. Things just pop out of nowhere without any prior explanation like the root in paragraph 4. much dialogue feels redundant, or pointless details. Do we really need to know that the white dragon has sharp teeth and red eyes in the 6th paragraph, especially since you spent an entire paragraph beforehand describing all of the dragons already. here's a few key details that will help you in the long run
1. Make sure what your writing makes sense, and try to make the story you're telling not feel so contrived
2. Avoid Run-on sentences/ overly descriptive details
3. show-don't tell
4. Make sure you aren't being redundant. There's a limit to how many times you should tempt fate. One shouldn't do so more then once a chapter.
5. and most important, MAKE SURE THE STORY FLOWS.
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Just one thing, Derpy did drop the box for no reason, and it was her partner who couldn't hold it because it was too heavy, just saying that, I'm glad you are giving me tips and stuff, editing in process.
4153502 I apologize if I came across as mean, in fact, crossover are some of my favorite stories. I think there's another story that did this crossover. If you can find it, it might help you out.
4153874
You didn't sound mean, in fact, you sounded persuading!
4153894 ty, I am one who can probably help edit, as I tend to be an extreme grammar nazi. Don't worry, everyone will get better after work. Unless you're someone like byter and blatently refuse to take criticism of any kind, but you clearly are not.
YES. HTTYD and MLP cross over, NEED MORE OF THESE!!
...You are gonna write more like these, SOON, right? :D
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Maybe, I'm currently working on a sequel, but it's on hiatus for now.
4891594 Hope the sequel is longer, if you want ideas let me know.