I'm Not Really Into Winning
I didn't think the situation could have been more awkward. Don't get me wrong, I've been in so many embarrassing situations and sometimes they are just plain weird. But most of the time I can get away with it and brush it behind me, because I don't dwell on the past.
With that, let me say that for once in my life, I had absolutely no idea what to do.
Really, it would be okay if Maud didn't like us at all. At least we would have some sort of clue onto how she felt about us. Instead, her expressions were impossible to read. The last time I felt this lost was when I attempted to read a page of one of Twilight's most complicated books. It was a bet, and I think it was about advanced astrophysics of black holes or something.
Long story short, I lost, badly.
The only one who could understand her emotions, if they actually existed at all, was Pinkie. Then again, I don't even begin to understand how she does half of the things I've seen her do. As I say this, Sugarcube Corner is filled with tons, actual tons of rock candy.
It's not like we aren't trying. We've acted just as nice to her as we did to anypony, heck I even was toning down my usual brashness on request of everypony else. How was I supposed to know ponies get intimidated when I proclaim myself as the best flyer in Equestria?
Thankfully Twilight came up with a good idea, or really the only idea at all. If we each were to spend time with her one on one, it would be easier to get to know her. I just hope there was something interesting about her, because right now the only thing interesting was that she was Pinkie's sister.
So what better icebreaker than a simple game of tossing rocks? Its the perfect thing for Maud, who apparently really has a love for them. The mare has a pet rock for crying out loud!
Thankfully Pinkie tagged along to provide the conversation, because I sure wasn't going to get it from her sister.
"So Dashie, what are we going to do?" She asked in her usual bubbly and energetic tone.
"Well, I thought that it would be cool if Maud and I played a game. With how much she knows about rocks, I'm sure she could beat me easily in this, right?" I looked over and was met with the same empty expression, as if I said nothing at all.
"Oooo! Maud loves games, don't ya?" I watched as Pinkie playfully poked her sister's mane.
"Sure."
We arrived at the lake, plenty of rocks already dotting the shoreline where we would play from. As Maud and Pinkie went and spent time with Twilight, Rarity, and the others, I decided to prepare things ahead of time. Games are never fun when somepony has to wait for things to be set up.
"What sort of game have you got all ready for us?"
"I'm glad you asked Pinkie." I turned my attention onto Maud, who still looked like she would rather be anywhere else in Equestria. "Okay Maud, so all you have to do is throw one of these rocks as far as you can! I made sure they were mostly the same size so there isn't any cheating."
"Alright then." She began to look at the collection of rocks I had made.
I remember somepony telling me that going first is disrespectful towards the guest. Only this once would I ignore it because, I don't think I could stand getting another monotone response. Even when I wake up on a Monday morning, I don't sound this emotionless.
Sorting through some of the more jagged ones, I picked up the smoothest rock I could find, thinking that the aerodynamics would favor it best, and result in it flying farther.
"Here goes!"
I rocketed up into the air, gaining speed in a loop de loop before going into a huge spin. Once I felt that I had a good enough speed, I let the rock fly out of my grasp and watched as it sailed out of my hoof towards the other end of the lake. It landed with a thud, and looked to be a respectful distance, although I knew I could do much better. Normally I would have gone all out, but I felt bad if I overshadowed Maud.
"Let's see ya beat that!" I teased, hoping she would break out of her shell.
As I turned around, a massive boulder careened over my head, nearly brushing the top of my mane. It continued to sail into the sky, and didn't begin to sink until I could barely make out the speck it turned into.
"How did you..." The ground suddenly started to rumble, and I could see a massive tidal wave barrel it's way towards us. "Awe ponyfeathers."
The wave left us drenched from head to hoof, and I had somehow ended up in the middle of the lake as a result.
"That... was... AMAZING!!" Pinkie exclaimed, balancing on a rolling log as she floated by.
I looked at Maud, and didn't have a clue on what to say. My brain suddenly lost the ability to form words as I tried to figure out how in Equestria she was able to achieve that distance, let along the sonic boom it created when it hit the ground.
"How'd ya do that?" I asked, hoping she wouldn't respond with a monotone, short...
"I threw it."
...never-mind.
As I swam back to shore, I could see a huge dent in the sandy beach next to where I had placed all of the rocks. Wait, wasn't there a rock there just before? It was at least twice the size of the pile of smaller ones I had put there.
I stared at Maud again as I put two and two together. "Did you throw that huge boulder?" She simply nodded. "...All the way out there?" I gestured with my hoof over to where the sonic boom had come from. I received a second nod.
"I guess you won this one Maud." There wasn't any guessing here, I knew she won. There was no way I could toss a boulder halfway across Equestria like that.
Maud glanced away from my direction for a second. "I'm not really into... winning."
"What!?" I blurted out, almost as a reflex. Thanks to Twilight and the other gals, I understood that maybe winning wasn't the most important thing in the world. But, to completely not like winning at all?!
How is that even possible?!
Could there be a life worth living if you could never feel the satisfaction of winning, even something as small as a board game?
"Hey Pinks, could ya go see how far Maud's boulder landed? I'm curious," I asked.
"Sure thing Dashie!" She said, and went skipping on her merry way. I needed her to be somewhere else so I can really speak to Maud one on one.
I turned back around to find Maud staring intently at a bunch of other rocks that lined the shore. She looked to be more interested in those rocks than she had been all day. I walked over and stood next to her, eyeballing the rocks and pretending to be interested, although it was causing my brain to melt of boredom.
"So Maud, about winning and all, why don't you enjoy it?"
She looked up, the same deadpan expression staring me straight down. "I just don't."
"How could you not!? The feeling of getting 1st place in a contest, or even just winning a simple game between friends is something that is so awesome I can't even put it into words! It makes you feel good, like you're on the top of the world." I looked down to find myself floating higher and higher, Maud looking up at me.
"I prefer to stay on the ground."
I face-hoofed. Was she really just dense or something?"
"So is there a reason for not being into winning?" I asked with the nicest voice I could muster, trying not to let her expressionless glance get to me.
"It's hard to enjoy a game when you worry about winning," she said, and I thought for a second that there was a hint of some sort of emotion in her voice.
"Pfff... what kind of games don't have winners and losers? Besides, its not like I can tell if you're enjoying yourself or not. I'm not a mind reader." I froze in place as I attempted to retract the last sentence. "Great job me," I murmured to myself.
I looked back a Maud and expected her to be angry. Unsurprisingly, she wasn't. "I have a feeling that you expected me to be like my sister," she spoke in monotone. Finally, we were getting somewhere!
"Well yeah. To grow up with a sister as energetic, happy, and random as Pinkie made all of us think that you were like that. I guess you're not like her at all" I said, sounding defeated. "Oh and sorry for lashing out at you. That wasn't cool of me."
"Its okay. I understand I may be harder to read, and sometimes it can be confusing," Maud replied, taking her pet rock boulder out of her pocket.
"You even had Twilight confused, which is hard to do," I chuckled to myself. "But back to my question,winning make games and activities more fun doesn't it?"
Maud disagreed, shaking her head back and forth. "I don't like competition. It makes everything more stressful."
I was about to disagree with her, when I remembered my own experiences with stress from competition. A short flash back from the Best Young Flier's Competition entered my thoughts. I think cowering in the corner in fear would count as being overly stressful.
"I guess so. But you don't like the satisfaction of being the best at something?"
Again she disagreed. "Winning and fun don't go together well for me. If I had to choose, I'd go with fun." Maud talking about fun in her tone of voice was quite ironic.
Winning and fun always goes together hand in hand though. Not often did I ever have a time where I enjoyed being the loser. It just told me that I needed to try harder and be better next time.
"You don't think a pony can have fun and be competitive? What about sports, and stuff like that?"
I watched as Maud walked up to me, and put a hoof on the back of my neck. It felt strange coming from such a emotionless pony, but I figured that the gesture could be taken as such.
"Our views are always going to be different. I respect yours, even if I don't agree," she said truthfully.
"Yeah I guess. I'm going to assume that this whole "friendship idea" Twilight made didn't work out huh?" Maud shook her head no. "Man, Pinkie's going to be so disappointed."
"Even though we didn't match up as friends, I'm happy to see that Pinkie loves you all so much," she responded, and I took it as some sort of positive.
"That she does," I said with a smile, as I saw a bouncing pink mane come into view. She was carrying what looked to be the longest tape measure I had ever seen in my entire life.
"I measured it to be around 2134 yards long! Wow that took a while, I almost ran out of tape!" Pinkie held up the huge mashed up ball of measuring tape.
"Hey why don't we see what the others are doing?" I suggested. "Oh, you should tell Maud about Rarity and Tom! She'll get a kick outta that." Somewhere far away from us, I could hear the annoyed screams of a certain fashionista.
"Okie Dokie Loki! Let's go!"
As we left the lake, I thought I could make out the faintest of smiles on Maud's face.
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Sure.
(That is to say, I loved it.
Very nice contrast between Maud and RD. I also like the concept you're playing with; having fun without the stress of competition. Very nice.)
4092410 *hands cookie* there ya go!
4092395 You did not waste time with the name there.
Glad you liked it!
Short and cute. Good use of a great new character. :)
I like Maud as a character. And not the in the type of like where you just want to take them and see what's underneath what the show gives us, what might be the possible motivations for their actions, I just plain like her as is. She provides a nice, stable contrast to the antics of Pinkie and the others.
Too bad Spike wasn't there during royal business in Canterlot.
I like the second half of this, though the first bit just feels like a lot of retelling
I love how this scene just knocks down Dash's ego by a few pegs.
4092584 This.
i live on top of a bakery which is we're i work
so you'll have to do better then a cookie
i just realize my living conditions are exactly like pinkie pies
well i guess she is my favorite pony for a reason
4092433 Yeah this was just a short little think I felt like doing. And thanks!
4092584 There isn't some complex emotional thing to her. She's just who she is, which is nice I agree.
4093078 I kind of wondered where Spike was in the episode
4093145 Yeah... I guess the first part is a bit rehashed. Oh well.
4094103 I'm glad you noticed, because that was partially what I was going for.
4094193 Oh jeez, cookies is all I got. That's fricken awesome that you live on top of a bakery though. It would be a blessing and a curse for me if I did
Gotta say that I enjoyed it, I've been reading so many action fics recently that it was nice to find a story that had such a relaxed pace to it.
Oh, and below is a typo for you:
As was left the lake, - As we left the lake,
4094361 You got to pair Spike with Maud.
2134 yards?! That’s over a mile!
The premise of this story is good, and I enjoyed the thoughts expressed, but I found the first person expression of Rainbow Dash unconvincing. I was unable to read that speech form in her voice. The mannerisms are far too formal, and would better suit Twilight or Rarity.
i just get who is Maud Pie! She is grown up pony version of Wednsday Addams
thepinkpuck.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/Wednesday-Addams-Halloween-Costume-Ideas-3.jpg
i.imgur.com/v9eRGP3.jpg
4094978
That would be 6402 feet!!! A mile is 5280 feet!!! 
Big Mac should watch out for her, he might get his ass handed to him!
EDIT: Hoofed to him?
4094517 Thanks! And the typo is fixed
4095634 As long as Rarity doesn't know
4094978 Did you see how far it went in the episode? Its probably farther than that.
4095983 Well I made her more formal due to the nature of Maud. What I wanted is for Rainbow to seem as if she is trying to be more formal in hopes of actually getting across to Maud, than if she was just her normal self.
4096551 I don't think Maud is creepy like that though
I like this a lot; good expansion of a fun scene, and everypony felt nicely in-character.
Rock. You are a rock.
Gray. You are gray.
Like a rock.
Which you are.
Rock.
-Maud Pie
This is Awesomazing!!!!
You capture Maud and RD perfectly. Ten stars in my book!
Great fic!
4096731
Well if wednsaday was in rocks then death... but I don't think she minds grey color to much over black
Joke Alternate Title: "The winning times of a rock-obsessed pony"
I was honestly expecting this to turn into a Maud x Cloud Kicker fic.
I don't know if I'm disappointed that it didn't.
But well written, regardless
I liked so now do I get cookie? There is going to be a very annoyed time lord if I don't get my COOKIE!
Sorry... A bit too much rage...
Still awesome job!
Very cool piece of writing there, DJ!
- Sparks
Where's mah cookies?
You know what? Maud has the personality of rock, but who knew rocks were so awesome.
Internet cookie for whoever spots the super-obvious error.
2nd cookie!
4097477 That's what I was going for!
4098050 Rocks; these are my rocks.
Sediments: make me sedimental.
Smooth and round, asleep in the ground.
Shades of brown and gray.
4099276 10 whole stars? I'm flattered!
4099395 Thanks!
4099874 I like it, but I prefer the quote from the episode as the title.
4102578 Really? Where did you get that from? Just curious.
4105693 Egad! *throws cookie*
4106467 Thanks Sparks!
4106611 *gives a cookie*
4108162 Rocks were always awesome! Have you forgotten Tom?
4108663 And I will get to fixing those ASAP! Thanks for pointing them out.
4102578
4108911
Was it perhaps my comment here 4099874 ?
4108911
Tom was like Blueblood though, Rarity had to carry him around.
One bit of characterization I did not like at all was Maud saying "Sure I guess" because she is not indecisive at all. She has a very clear idea of the things she likes and the ones she doesn't and she agrees to do what they ask them to do because she want to, not because she doesn't have anything better to do or because she's being coerced to do it and is just playing along.
Examples within the episode are plenty, when Rarity asks her about making her a dress out of dish towels she very clearly says "no", when Fluttershy talks about the spider she doesn't go "i guess that's nice but I don't care", she just states she was looking at the rock, when she rescues Pinkie she doesn't act like she has no choice, she just springs into action before the others can even begin to react.
She might have a narrow range of interests, but indecisive she isn't, she is either engages in something or doesn't, her answer would be "Yes" or "Sure" but never "i guess". Plus she wouldn't waste time saying useless things like that.
Anyway, just my feedback cause i felt like having her say that was jarring and it felt like she was some angsty teen who is just making RD a favor by hanging out with her.
4115468 You know, I didn't catch that initially, but I do agree with what you've mentioned. She did she 100% sure of everything she said, and didn't show any hints of indecisiveness at all.
With that, I'll change it to just "Sure."
Thanks for pointing that out.
A good fanfic on mlp's most cryptic character. I like how its not long to give a portrayal of maud. giving it a like :)
4096637 Even if they are related they are separated by two families. He doesn't have to worry about either of their asses, she can handle him.
Maud Pie's expressions are difficult to read, so who's to say she's not the horniest mare around who is just waiting to plow all of Pinkie's friends? She might not call sex 'winning' but she does win. Very often.
And has everyone forgotten how she feed Boulder a sandwich? Or how in the next hot the sandwich disappeared, but Boulder was still there? Who ate it? Maud is just as loony and does just as many crazy things as her sister.
I understand fun not always correlating with winning. I don't bowl well, but I celebrate victories and losses. Especially when I get gutter balls. Best time to celebrate.