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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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...I feel a bad feel considering this:
is your short description...
yup, im willing to follow this story for now.
the writing isn't bad, the chapter length isnt horrible and i am interested in the story.
its partially a shame that we know she is likely a human, otherwise i could have fun with thinking she's a Fae in disguise. Oh well, it will just take more tinfoil.
I will read this later. I sincerely hope this is good.
Not bad...not bad at all. Will fav to keep track of it.
There are a lot of small grammar mistakes, and several consistently wrong word choices like "witch" instead of "which" or "hear" instead of "here". You should get an editor.
Other than that, not a bad start to the story. I'm a little confused though. Lero has his full herd (Twi, Dash, and Lyra), but Luna is afraid of him? When does this take place in the Xenophilia timeline?
yeah some grammar tweaks are needed, a few times you use the word "vary" instead of "very"
I'm a fan of Xenophilia, so sure, I'll give this a gander. It's a hard standard to live up too though.
Hi there.
Let me go ahead and answer a few questions that are bound to keep popping up.
First of all, I am aware that my grammar isn't the best. I just wanted to put this first little bit of the story up to see what the general reception would be, before going through the trouble of finding an editor. Now that I've seen that it is mostly positive, getting an editor is now officially on my to do list.
Second, the story takes place after the events of Xenophilia, and shortly before/during the second season of the show. If you are wondering why the story starts off in winter, I'm taking a little creative liberty with the timeline and saying that another winter falls between season one and two of the show, with season two starting in early spring the following year. The reason for this is that a lot of time passes, series wise, between Winter Wrap-Up and Hearth's Warming Eve. If anyone has a serious issue with this not making sense in the timeline, then I'd like to point out that Fall Weather Friends takes place two episodes after Winter Wrap-Up, just some food for thought.
I hope that this clears a few things up, if you have any other questions please remember that the story is just starting.
I think this is the one thing every Xeno fan has been waiting for. Can't wait to see how this goes.
I liked this Im looking forward to seeing where this goes. This is the first time in a long time that I have also subscribed to email updates.
4396786 Its depends on what you consider canon I think. Its probably not canon to any of the spin offs / sequels.
This was 3 chapters why?
4407321 Why not?
4407321
Please note the incomplete tag at the bottom.
4416495
It's also a reference to a Gotrek and Felix novel.
I see lots of potential, and will definitely be following this one!
Though you'll want to have a beta reader edit it.
I noticed that you used the word witch twice in this chapter and once in I believe the prologue, witches cast spells, the word you're looking for is which. I also noticed you used the word hear when you meant here.
4418143
Thanks for pointing them out. Until I manage to find an editor this is probably the only way that mistakes like this will be fixed. I keep re-reading the chapters, but again not so good at the grammar.
4418353
That's alright. Sometimes it doesn't matter how much we look over our own work, we still can't find all the mistakes. Thanks why we have editors.
Grammar issues aside, this promises to be a very interesting tale. This last chapter caught Lero's emotional response quite well.
4447145
Good to know I'm doing something right.
So far I'm digging it, I have held off on commenting untill now becuase xenophila is one of my favorite stories and I wanted too see if you gave it the justice it deserves. So far it is very promising. I was worried that Lero wouldn't come into the story that often after the prologue. I look forward to more! The xenophila universe can always use good stories.