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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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"Longshanks" is a reference to King Edward I of England who ruled from 1272 - 1307. A real live king and not something out of a fantasy novel at all!
Which
You kinda need a beta or pre-reader or however they prefer to be called. Rather badly. Not even counting the punctuation/grammar issues and just from briefly looking through the chapter we have:
"shone"
"were"
"lose"
That's a verb, last I heard. "comeback" would be the noun.
"proceeded"
And that's all just from briefly looking through the prologue. Can't really say anything about the quality of the story, so far it wasn't bad, but personally I doubt I'll manage to read more than a couple of chapters with such an abundance of misspellings.
4416495
In David Weber's War God series of books, the main character Bahzell Banahkson is called 'Longshanks' by his best friend and travelling companion.
The first book in series is available for download at the Baen Free Library. ( http://www.baenebooks.com/p-297-oath-of-swords.aspx )
Okay this is a good start and I noticed one thing that needs to be fixed. Your self, that is one word and should read yourself instead.