The End of Days has come to Equestria. The Four Stallions of the Apocalypse ride across the realm. Twilight Sparkle finds a way to safeguard the kingdom, but it will require a grave sacrifice... and some help from her friends.
5099246 I don't normally do 'bad endings', honestly... but this story was about an Apocalypse. There really wasn't a lot of ways it COULD end. And hey, if the world's gotta end... better with a bang than a whimper, right?
5099407 I have - if only because it amuses me to use that term in its original, greek meaning. That is, something unpleasant, yet inevitable. These days, it mostly just means 'bad shit happens', but in greek theater, it specifically referred to an unfortunate fate that the character could not avoid, no matter how hard they tried - often due to a Prophecy of some kind. (Oedipus Rex being the most well-known example.)
Why the heck it has only 100 upvotes? It's one of the best fetish-heavy stories here. Are people scared by the number of words?
If kissing on the cheeks was for family, and kissing on the mouth was for a Special Somepony, what was kissing on the pee-pee supposed to be for?
This is fucking brilliant. I laughed like crazy.
Yet... The problem of a tree falling and nobody hearing it bothers me. Dirty and perverted sex stops being dirty and perverted the moment no one sees it as such. It's... not fun this way. I hoped to see Mane Six remaining whores in the world slowly becoming normal again, to see them tortured by disharmony in their minds... Yet you've chosen to make the world harmonious. Not as bad as boring Equestria before the Apocalypse, but still, you've made me sad.
5102989 Thank you for your kind words. And yes, judging by some of the earliest comments I got, people are, indeed, frightened by my wordiness, and offput by my formatting. Ah well. I just think of it as having an eclectic and exclusive audience.
I also find it amusing that so far, I've gotten a comment criticizing the ending for being too dark, and one criticizing it for not being dark ENOUGH. Guess you can't please nopony...
I was having doubts starting this story. But the first chapter is epic in any porn aspect. Though I am very afraid of the chapters that contain pestilince and war because of the gore tag
The amount of words in a chapter don't bother me at all. I actually prefer it since this way I don't have to go to another page every 3k-5k words
5106722 There isn't too much blood really, if that's what you're worried about. Mostly torture of one of the Mane Six who happens to enjoy pain. Sometimes it sounds scary, but there's never serious or permanent harm or anything of that sort.
I think amateur porn readers should be worried about raunch stuff more, which is abundant in the fourth chapter, and foalcon, which the last chapter focuses on. These themes seem to attract much more downvotes than moderate gore, in general.
5111133 Well, part of the idea of the series is to show a gradual descend into deeper and deeper perversion, so it's to be expected that some will reach a 'gross-out point' before they get to the end. :p
As for the gore-tag, I just figured 'better safe than sorry', considering some of the stuff War gets up to. I've previously been blamed for NOT using a gore-tag for some fairly similar stuff, so hey.
5106991 Actually... I think I might. Shouldn't take long. Keep an eye out, and I'll have a better (AND worse) ending up within the next day or two.
If you are going to write a better ending, then might I give some suggestions for it?
A good ending for this sort of setting for me would be that Equestria is still corrupted but not to the extent of this ending. Rather, it would be like a combination of sort between harmony and sex. Basically, Equestria is still a land of harmony but is also very, very open minded in terms of sex, lust, and depravity. Equestria is still Equestria only a bit more perverted. like everyone having friends with benefits, open marriages, and sex happening all the time being something of an open secret is now considered the social norm. Everything is consented of course, like I said, it is still Equestria in a way.
This is mainly for the Mane six's Benefit. considering their condition at the end of their sacrifice, I don't think those "needs" would be met when everything goes back to the way it was and force them to be sneak those "needs" in that would have them discovered sooner or later.
Instead, I want them to be treated like actual heroes for the sacrifice they have done. All that pain and humiliation, plus the condition that left them as they are to save Equestria from the Apocalypse and not a single thanks from anyone? screw that noise!
Of course, if the ponies ever found out what they have done, old Equestria would probably have mix feeling about this AT BEST. they save equestria sure, but now their whores due to their condition. How are they suppose to feel about that?
The new Equestria on the other hand, would probably celebrate them as actual heroes considering how open minded everyone is, they also don't have to go sneaking about to fulfill their "needs" and worry about social repercussions considering how it is the norm now.
I don't know how the details and the way they save Equestria will be shown to the public. Maybe Celestia decided to investigate and find out what twilight and her friends have done or maybe someone discovered their activities and force them to confess and be pleasantly surprised on how positive the public views them, hailing them as heroes for the pain and humiliation they endured for the sake of Equestria and would be happy to help them in their time of need, if you know what I mean.
This is only my take on how a good ending of a sort can be found in this sort of setting. Equestria is saved, Mane six get the recognition they deserved, and the Equestrian Civilization as a land of harmony lives on with a more perverted and, or as the locals would rather say, more open-minded disposition.
Please note that I am not telling you how to write the ending. This is just me giving some suggestions on how the good ending might happen. If you already have one in mind, then feel free to scrap this idea.
On a side note, Fluttershy won't be living as the animal's fucktoy 24/7 in the good ending. maybe like a typical day job length. with the weekends as the day off. I find her existence of sex 24/7 on this ending to be a bit sad. the rest of the mane six at least get to dictate when and where they get to have sex and have time for themselves. Fluttershy doesn't have any other than eating, taking a toilet breaks, and getting supplies. If this wasn't by choice, then her situation would have been down right depressing.
I have nothing on the bad ending though. mostly because I would rather not think on how bad things could get worse. the current ending now at least allows the mane six to have their needs fulfilled without any social repercussions since everything in their civilization is drowning in sex, lust and a disturbing amount of depravity. hell, even the royalty is on the action so even if Twilight comes clean, no one would bat an eyelash. basically, not too good, but not too bad either in my opinion. a neutral ending if nothing else.
5117400 I'm afraid I've already finished writing both endings, and I'm just waiting for my editor to return them before I post 'em. Your perspective is interesting, though... and also pretty far from the way I wound up writing the 'happy end', I'm afraid.
I mostly find the last bit of your comment interesting... about how the canonical ending is basically 'neutral'. 'cuz that's the way I thought of it, too - sure, civilization's collapsing, but nopony KNOWS, or cares, and everypony is having a lot of fun with it. Specific point: Chances are that going forwards, Fluttershy won't be spending QUITE as much time dealing with the animals, since Twilight's made it clear that she and Rainbow Dash would be happy to help. That should, at least, make her schedule a lot more manageable. It's also hard to say exactly how long it'll be before the corruption deepens to the point of making ponies forget about their day-jobs, so there might be quite a bit of time left for everypony to enjoy the ongoing, Equestria-wide orgy.
All of which, of course, leaves plenty of space for things to get WORSE.
Its alright it was just a suggestion after all. besides, if what you say is true then maybe everything really did went back to the way it was. either way, it would be way better than the current ending.
as for the bad ending, I probably won't be reading that any time soon, sorry But I just keep getting so worried about the Mane six on this bad ending. I know it sounds selfish of me but I judge how good the ending is based on the condition the Mane six are currently living their lives. I just find their sacrifice of enduring all that pain and humiliation, plus the condition that left them as it is, to have a hell a lot more weight than just heroically dying to save Equestria, like a "fate worse than death" kind of thing. to have that sacrifice some how change their lives for the worse seems too cruel for me.
In the current ending, while Society as they know it is drowning in sex, lust and Depravity, they at least don't have to face the social repercussions that their 'needs' demand them to fulfill so they can live like "normal" considering Sex and Depravity will soon become the social norm in the current civilization and go down with a smile on their face.
Honestly, a bad ending for me is where it ends up having everything go back to normal but have the Mane six's live going to shit due to the public looking down on them due to their "needs" and disregard the sacrifice they made to save Equestria. Shit, just thinking about it is making me pissed.
5118968 So, if given a choice to either save Equestria (status quo) and lose mane six (mindless whores), or lose Equestria and mane six (civilization collapse), you'll hapily let the civilization die in agony and the history of ponykind to be lost forever just to save mane six from humiliation?
Your version of ending is nice, btw, but it's too good to be true.
Well that was a really grim and depressing ending.
5099246 I don't normally do 'bad endings', honestly... but this story was about an Apocalypse. There really wasn't a lot of ways it COULD end. And hey, if the world's gotta end... better with a bang than a whimper, right?
5099393 Still, I'd recommend adding the tragedy tag.
5099407
i.imgur.com/ui4keF0.png
No way to stop the corruption now. Unless an epilogue stopping it appears.
5099407 I have - if only because it amuses me to use that term in its original, greek meaning. That is, something unpleasant, yet inevitable. These days, it mostly just means 'bad shit happens', but in greek theater, it specifically referred to an unfortunate fate that the character could not avoid, no matter how hard they tried - often due to a Prophecy of some kind. (Oedipus Rex being the most well-known example.)
Awesome last chapter of the awesome story!
Why the heck it has only 100 upvotes? It's one of the best fetish-heavy stories here. Are people scared by the number of words?
This is fucking brilliant. I laughed like crazy.
Yet... The problem of a tree falling and nobody hearing it bothers me. Dirty and perverted sex stops being dirty and perverted the moment no one sees it as such. It's... not fun this way. I hoped to see Mane Six remaining whores in the world slowly becoming normal again, to see them tortured by disharmony in their minds... Yet you've chosen to make the world harmonious. Not as bad as boring Equestria before the Apocalypse, but still, you've made me sad.
5102989 Thank you for your kind words. And yes, judging by some of the earliest comments I got, people are, indeed, frightened by my wordiness, and offput by my formatting. Ah well. I just think of it as having an eclectic and exclusive audience.
I also find it amusing that so far, I've gotten a comment criticizing the ending for being too dark, and one criticizing it for not being dark ENOUGH. Guess you can't please nopony...
I was having doubts starting this story. But the first chapter is epic in any porn aspect. Though I am very afraid of the chapters that contain pestilince and war because of the gore tag
The amount of words in a chapter don't bother me at all. I actually prefer it since this way I don't have to go to another page every 3k-5k words
5104122
Only solution is to write both.
5106722
There isn't too much blood really, if that's what you're worried about. Mostly torture of one of the Mane Six who happens to enjoy pain. Sometimes it sounds scary, but there's never serious or permanent harm or anything of that sort.
I think amateur porn readers should be worried about raunch stuff more, which is abundant in the fourth chapter, and foalcon, which the last chapter focuses on. These themes seem to attract much more downvotes than moderate gore, in general.
5106991
I approve the idea!
5108181
hm that doesn't seem that bad thankfully. Thanks for the reaction (would have read it anyway )
Having read the entire story I have come to these conclusions:
- Chapters 1, 2 and 3 are in my opinion the best of them all (1 being the best)
-Even though 4 and 5 have very hot/sexy moments the dirty rimming/blowjobs kinda gross me out
-The gore tag is in my opinion not needed. Just a warning that the story contains some violent sex.
5111133 Well, part of the idea of the series is to show a gradual descend into deeper and deeper perversion, so it's to be expected that some will reach a 'gross-out point' before they get to the end. :p
As for the gore-tag, I just figured 'better safe than sorry', considering some of the stuff War gets up to. I've previously been blamed for NOT using a gore-tag for some fairly similar stuff, so hey.
5106991 Actually... I think I might. Shouldn't take long. Keep an eye out, and I'll have a better (AND worse) ending up within the next day or two.
5111475
If you are going to write a better ending, then might I give some suggestions for it?
A good ending for this sort of setting for me would be that Equestria is still corrupted but not to the extent of this ending. Rather, it would be like a combination of sort between harmony and sex. Basically, Equestria is still a land of harmony but is also very, very open minded in terms of sex, lust, and depravity. Equestria is still Equestria only a bit more perverted. like everyone having friends with benefits, open marriages, and sex happening all the time being something of an open secret is now considered the social norm. Everything is consented of course, like I said, it is still Equestria in a way.
This is mainly for the Mane six's Benefit. considering their condition at the end of their sacrifice, I don't think those "needs" would be met when everything goes back to the way it was and force them to be sneak those "needs" in that would have them discovered sooner or later.
Instead, I want them to be treated like actual heroes for the sacrifice they have done. All that pain and humiliation, plus the condition that left them as they are to save Equestria from the Apocalypse and not a single thanks from anyone? screw that noise!
Of course, if the ponies ever found out what they have done, old Equestria would probably have mix feeling about this AT BEST. they save equestria sure, but now their whores due to their condition. How are they suppose to feel about that?
The new Equestria on the other hand, would probably celebrate them as actual heroes considering how open minded everyone is, they also don't have to go sneaking about to fulfill their "needs" and worry about social repercussions considering how it is the norm now.
I don't know how the details and the way they save Equestria will be shown to the public. Maybe Celestia decided to investigate and find out what twilight and her friends have done or maybe someone discovered their activities and force them to confess and be pleasantly surprised on how positive the public views them, hailing them as heroes for the pain and humiliation they endured for the sake of Equestria and would be happy to help them in their time of need, if you know what I mean.
This is only my take on how a good ending of a sort can be found in this sort of setting. Equestria is saved, Mane six get the recognition they deserved, and the Equestrian Civilization as a land of harmony lives on with a more perverted and, or as the locals would rather say, more open-minded disposition.
Please note that I am not telling you how to write the ending. This is just me giving some suggestions on how the good ending might happen. If you already have one in mind, then feel free to scrap this idea.
On a side note, Fluttershy won't be living as the animal's fucktoy 24/7 in the good ending. maybe like a typical day job length. with the weekends as the day off. I find her existence of sex 24/7 on this ending to be a bit sad. the rest of the mane six at least get to dictate when and where they get to have sex and have time for themselves. Fluttershy doesn't have any other than eating, taking a toilet breaks, and getting supplies. If this wasn't by choice, then her situation would have been down right depressing.
I have nothing on the bad ending though. mostly because I would rather not think on how bad things could get worse. the current ending now at least allows the mane six to have their needs fulfilled without any social repercussions since everything in their civilization is drowning in sex, lust and a disturbing amount of depravity. hell, even the royalty is on the action so even if Twilight comes clean, no one would bat an eyelash. basically, not too good, but not too bad either in my opinion. a neutral ending if nothing else.
5117400 I'm afraid I've already finished writing both endings, and I'm just waiting for my editor to return them before I post 'em. Your perspective is interesting, though... and also pretty far from the way I wound up writing the 'happy end', I'm afraid.
I mostly find the last bit of your comment interesting... about how the canonical ending is basically 'neutral'. 'cuz that's the way I thought of it, too - sure, civilization's collapsing, but nopony KNOWS, or cares, and everypony is having a lot of fun with it. Specific point: Chances are that going forwards, Fluttershy won't be spending QUITE as much time dealing with the animals, since Twilight's made it clear that she and Rainbow Dash would be happy to help. That should, at least, make her schedule a lot more manageable. It's also hard to say exactly how long it'll be before the corruption deepens to the point of making ponies forget about their day-jobs, so there might be quite a bit of time left for everypony to enjoy the ongoing, Equestria-wide orgy.
All of which, of course, leaves plenty of space for things to get WORSE.
5118397
Its alright it was just a suggestion after all. besides, if what you say is true then maybe everything really did went back to the way it was. either way, it would be way better than the current ending.
as for the bad ending, I probably won't be reading that any time soon, sorry But I just keep getting so worried about the Mane six on this bad ending. I know it sounds selfish of me but I judge how good the ending is based on the condition the Mane six are currently living their lives. I just find their sacrifice of enduring all that pain and humiliation, plus the condition that left them as it is, to have a hell a lot more weight than just heroically dying to save Equestria, like a "fate worse than death" kind of thing. to have that sacrifice some how change their lives for the worse seems too cruel for me.
In the current ending, while Society as they know it is drowning in sex, lust and Depravity, they at least don't have to face the social repercussions that their 'needs' demand them to fulfill so they can live like "normal" considering Sex and Depravity will soon become the social norm in the current civilization and go down with a smile on their face.
Honestly, a bad ending for me is where it ends up having everything go back to normal but have the Mane six's live going to shit due to the public looking down on them due to their "needs" and disregard the sacrifice they made to save Equestria. Shit, just thinking about it is making me pissed.
5118968 So, if given a choice to either save Equestria (status quo) and lose mane six (mindless whores), or lose Equestria and mane six (civilization collapse), you'll hapily let the civilization die in agony and the history of ponykind to be lost forever just to save mane six from humiliation?
Your version of ending is nice, btw, but it's too good to be true.
5099246
I know, right? Didn't even get any Twicest! I feel cheated! CHEATED I SAY!