One thousand years ago.....
A time of darkness and anguish......... A time of death and mourning.......... I am the bystander, victim, and the villain.
And in the end, We all get hurt by our past sins.
But for her, it was much, much worse.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Not a bad start, I can tell that Illusion Flight is a pretty unique character and I'm looking forward to seeing their friendship develop. I do have a few suggestions, I would like to know more about Illusion Flight as a character, and it would be nice to get a glimpse of what's going on in Luna's head during the conversation, after all she is making a new friend (which doesn't sound like it happens very often) and also during the song, I would love to get a better feeling of her curiosity in this mare. I also feel like it's a bit rushed in the beginning, and I feel like it's out of character for Luna to discuss her crush with a pony she just met (personal opinion). I'm eager to learn more about these "Elders" that Illusion mentions and I'm excited to see how Discord and Sombra come into play!
Keep at it! :D
Thank you Follow Focus. I am glad you enjoy this chapter. In the future, I will not be so rushed as you said, and I will be sure to use the ideas you gave me.
This chapter is a great improvement to the story, I like the mystery of it! I have a feeling that the next chapter is going to have a lot of dialogue (which is alright) I just hope that Illusion Flight's character isn't explained purely through exposition, actions speak louder than words. This chapter really helped to push the story forward.
Keep up the good work :D
I don't care about the wait. This was AWESOME. Well worth the wait. Do more! I wanna know what happens!
Oh. My god. This.....your writing skills........you, my sir/madam, have skills far superior to mine. I tip my hat to you. Keep up this awesome series.
Omg. This piece of writing... its..... its....... glorious..... it brings a tear to my eyes...... this deserves to be shouted from the mountain tops. I tip my hat to you, good lady.
Hey! I'm on wattpad too! You should check out my story, if you like slender man vs whomever it is type stories, that is....
4951927 Ok! I'll be sure to check it out! What's its title?
4959078 its called Come At Me.